Growing Strong Roots:  an Occupational Therapist’s Perspective on Parenting, Self-Regulation, and Resilience

Permissive parenting often comes from a place of love, but what happens when warmth comes without enough structure or follow-through? In this episode of Growing Strong Roots, occupational therapist Lee-Anne Bloom and parenting partner Tom Guiney unpack the research behind parenting styles and explore why permissive parenting can unintentionally fuel anxiety, dysregulation, and dependence, especially for neurodivergent kids. Through real-life examples and occupational therapy strategies, they discuss the difference between control and structure, why consistency matters, and how parents can hold boundaries without losing compassion. You’ll hear practical tools for managing meltdowns, scaffolding independence, and avoiding reinforcement of unwanted behaviors. This conversation is a grounded look at how loving limits and predictable routines help children build resilience, self-regulation, and confidence over time.   Linked research studies: Baumrind, D. (1966). *Effects of Authoritative Parental Control on Child Behavior* Child Development, 37(4), 887–907. Baumrind, D. (1967). *Child Care Practices Anteceding Three Patterns of Preschool Behavior* Genetic Psychology Monographs, 75, 43–88. Darling, N., & Steinberg, L. (1993). *Parenting Style as Context: An Integrative Model* Psychological Bulletin, 113(3), 487–496. Steinberg, L. (2001). *We Know Some Things: Parent–Adolescent Relationships in Retrospect and Prospect* Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19. Kuppens, S., & Ceulemans, E. (2018). *Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept* Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28, 168–181. Garcia, F., Serra, E., Garcia, O., Martinez, I., & Cruise, E. (2019). *A Third Emerging Stage for the Current Digital Society? Optimal Parenting Styles in Spain, the United States, Germany, and Brazil* International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. Kim, S., Wang, Y., Orozco-Lapray, D., Shen, Y., & Murtuza, M. (2013). *Does “Tiger Parenting” Exist? Parenting Profiles of Chinese Americans and Adolescent Developmental Outcomes*  

Dr. Lisa Hancock on Autism Spectrum Disorder, Twice Exceptionality, and Advocacy in Schools   Dr. Lisa Hancock, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in neuropsychological assessment and therapy, with expertise in ADHD, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), dyslexia, anxiety, mood disorders, independent educational evaluations, and IEP/academic accommodations, especially for twice-exceptional and gifted individuals. Hancock explains her path from securities trading to psychology through advocacy for her four children’s varied needs, mentorship from Dr. Linda Silverman, and joining Summit Center with Dr. Dan Peters. She describes DSM-5’s 2013 shift combining autism and Asperger’s into ASD, and how traditional (male-based) criteria can miss females who may camouflage and have less “unusual” special interests. The discussion covers genetics, COVID-era changes affecting masking, workplace/school inclusivity and accommodations, barriers to school recognition of “functional impact” beyond grades, and how ASD often co-occurs with learning differences, processing issues, anxiety, and depression, supporting earlier identification and resources. 00:00 Meet Dr. Lisa Hancock 02:05 Career Pivot Story 04:14 Summit Center Connection 06:14 Why Autism Seems Rising 07:51 DSM Five Changes 10:28 Girls Women Presentation of ASD 12:58 Genetics And Family Patterns 14:06 Masking  18:13 Inclusive Accommodations 21:33 Advocating In Schools 27:46 Early Diagnosis And Comorbidities 32:01 Neurodiversity Future View 35:15 Closing And Next Steps

In this episode, occupational therapist Lee-Anne Bloom speaks with educator and digital readiness consultant Betty Ray about raising children in today’s complex digital world. Together they explore how technology shapes emotional regulation, identity development, and family relationships, especially for neurodivergent children. The conversation introduces the concept of parenting with both guardrails and attunement, balancing connection, safety, and growing independence. Parents will learn practical strategies for navigating screen use, supporting healthy digital habits, recognizing warning signs, and scaffolding responsibility as children mature in an increasingly online environment. Timestamps 00:00 Introduction and guest welcome 00:10 Betty Ray’s background and digital readiness work 00:40 Why digital parenting is a timely topic 01:31 Competing with screens in modern parenting 01:53 Big picture question: what feels different today 02:19 Technology designed to capture attention 03:17 Devices moving from shared spaces to private pockets 03:54 Screens and emotional regulation challenges 04:50 Limits, conflict, and identity development online 05:49 Belonging, agency, and purpose in digital spaces 06:13 Benefits and risks of online identity formation 07:06 Positive communities versus harmful influences 08:11 Example of harmful online solidarity and self-harm 09:06 Helping kids reflect on friendships and choices 10:02 Parenting through relationship first 10:18 Guardrails and attunement framework 10:56 Parent self-regulation as the foundation 11:18 Power struggles and secrecy around screens 12:17 Parenting differently from previous generations 13:07 Privacy, monitoring, and parental discomfort 13:17 Building trust through relational connection 13:25 Using reflective questions as guardrails 14:27 Encouraging self-reflection and critical thinking 15:52 Escalating boundaries when safety concerns grow 17:02 Gradual developmental scaffolding 17:41 Recognizing warning signs in kids 18:18 Maintaining communication during adolescence 19:33 The reality of daily screen exposure 20:32 Parenting reactions to harmful online content 21:37 Emotional responses and regulating yourself first 22:19 Advocacy and responsibility of tech companies 23:10 Responding with attunement instead of shame 24:08 Talking openly about difficult online content 25:18 Partnering with kids instead of opposing them 26:03 Teaching body awareness and internal signals 27:03 Limits of parental controls and collaboration 28:03 Developmental stages of digital independence 28:52 Safety first for younger children 29:07 Building trust and gradual freedom 29:38 Agency, responsibility, and real-world skills 30:55 Service and values as the final developmental stage 31:17 Building resilience and independence offline 31:37 Occupational therapy perspective on independence 32:21 Opportunity cost of excessive screen time

In this episode, I share a heartfelt reflection on failure and why failing well is essential for growth in both children and adults. I talk about how setbacks are not a reflection of our worth, but signals pointing us toward areas that need strengthening. Using my own experience of not getting into graduate school on the first try, I walk through how reflection, feedback, and perseverance turned failure into forward momentum. We explore why it is especially important for parents and caregivers to model failure openly, rather than hiding it. I also discuss how perfectionism and fear of failure show up in bright, high-achieving kids. The episode closes with an invitation to reflect, share, and grow together through setbacks. Timestamps [00:00] Why failure matters for human development [00:27] Reframing setbacks as information, not inadequacy [00:47] Learning from past failures [01:06] Personal story: not getting into grad school [01:43] Sitting with disappointment and making a plan [02:18] Identifying gaps and rebuilding stronger [02:45] Perseverance and failing well [03:22] Modeling failure for children [03:43] Perfectionism, pressure, and fear of failing [04:09] Reflection as a tool for growth [04:16] Invitation to share experiences and connect