Lazy, Messy, Weird

Sarah Clein spent 20 years in the public sector before leaving exhausted. She'd had years of therapy and trained as a counsellor. But at 52, she discovered she was Autistic and ADHD. In this episode, I talk to Sarah about what it was like to get diagnosed in midlife, how she made sense of decades of struggling, and why understanding her neurodivergence changed everything.Episode Length: 33 minutesIn This Episode:I sit down with Sarah Clein, who spent over 20 years in the NHS and local government before leaving burnt out from toxic environments, struggling with perimenopause and a failing marriage. She now coaches midlife public sector women who are knackered.Hearing Lazy, Messy, WeirdA year ago, Sarah heard me present using the phrase lazy, messy, weird. The words slotted into her mind immediately. Tick, tick, tick. She'd already been investigating and now it just made sense. The Fear Before DiagnosisSarah's greatest fear was being told there's nothing wrong with you, you're making it all up. If the difficulties she'd had were because she was neurodivergent, at least she could understand it. The thought of being told to just crack on was terrifying.Getting the ReportSarah felt emotional and shell shocked. She'd expected ADHD but when the report said her executive function was shot to bits, it was massively shocking. She hadn't expected an Autism diagnosis at all. She felt cast adrift.Playing Life BackwardsOver the following months, it was like being in freefall. Playing her life backwards and having revelations. Sarah felt angry. She'd had years of therapy and trained as a counsellor, but not a single therapist had ever asked if she'd considered neurodivergence.The Optician and the DentistSarah started booking appointments saying she's Autistic and ADHD. An optician whose daughter is Autistic explained every single thing he did. She'd never experienced anything like it. Before diagnosis, she'd be bouncing off the ceiling all day. Now she can self-advocate.Lazy Was Never TrueSarah spent her entire adult life thinking she was lazy. There is no evidence for that. She works really hard. But there's always chaos. Understanding this is just part of who she is from a neurodivergent perspective is massively affirming.Never Too LateI ask Sarah what she'd say to listeners wondering if it's too late. She sees people in their 60s and 70s seeking diagnosis. It's never too late. But you don't need formal diagnosis to start advocating for yourself.Key Takeaways:Getting diagnosed in midlife can feel like playing your life backwards and having revelations about everything that went wrongThe greatest fear is often being told you're making it all upUnderstanding neurodivergence allows you to self-advocate in ways you never could beforeSpending decades thinking you're lazy when there's no evidence for it is commonIt's never too late to seek understanding. You don't need diagnosis to start making changesResources:Sarah's website: www.sarahclein.co.ukSarah's book: The Midlife TrenchesGet episode reminders: https://subscribepage.io/jk30pYBook a call with Leah: https://calendly.com/leahmilnercampbell/30minMore info about Leah: https://leahmilnercampbell.co.ukAbout the Host:Leah Milner-Campbell is a former charity CEO and neuroinclusion specialist. She's Autistic, ADHD, Dyscalculic and Dyspraxic, and works with purpose-driven organisations to build workplace cultures where everyone thrives.

You saw a video on Instagram that sounded like someone describing your life. Now you're lying awake at three in the morning wondering if you're actually Autistic or ADHD. Or are you just looking for an excuse? In this episode, Leah walks through what ADHD and Autism actually look like in adults. Not just the stereotypes of hyperactive boys or non-speaking children. The real lived experience. The signs that get missed. How to start figuring out if this might be you.In This Episode:Opening: The Three AM QuestionLying awake wondering if that Instagram video was describing your life. Am I actually Autistic? Do I really have ADHD? Or am I just not trying hard enough?Introduction: Welcome to Lazy, Messy, WeirdWhat this podcast is about and who it's for. Today we're exploring what ADHD and Autism actually look like in adults. The signs that get missed. How to start figuring out if this might be you.Adult ADHD: What It Actually Looks LikeNot just hyperactive boys bouncing off walls. The DSM-5 criteria explained. Two types: inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive. Executive function struggles. How masking hides difficulties. The elaborate systems you built to compensate are proof of struggle, not proof you're fine. ADHD brains are motivated by interest, not importance. Hyperfocus: the flip side of distraction. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria. ADHD strengths: creativity, problem solving, thriving in crisis.Adult Autism: What It Actually Looks LikeNot just non-speaking children obsessed with trains. The DSM-5 criteria developed by observing white boys. How masking hides Autistic traits, particularly in women. Why so many people are both ADHD and Autistic. Social communication differences. Monotropism: focusing deeply on one thing at a time. Stimming for self-regulation. Need for sameness and routine. Special interests as sources of joy. Sensory sensitivities. Masking: camouflaging your true self to fit in. Masking is exhausting. Autistic burnout. Autistic strengths: attention to detail, pattern recognition, deep focus, strong principles.Other Neurotypes: A Brief OverviewDyspraxia, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia.Now What? Practical Next StepsStay curious and notice patterns. Make notes of what resonates. Try self-assessment tools. Learn more through other people's stories. Trust yourself. Recognition is the first step. You don't need diagnosis to start understanding yourself better.Closing: What's NextNext episode features Sarah Clein, a public sector leader turned coach for knackered women. How hearing the words 'lazy, messy, weird' in a presentation I gave last year catalysed her journey to diagnosis.Key Takeaways:ADHD in adults doesn't just look like hyperactive boys. Inattentive type affects focus and organisation. Hyperactive-impulsive type affects restlessness and emotional regulationThe DSM-5 criteria miss how masking hides neurodivergent traits, particularly in womenElaborate systems and over-compensation are proof of struggle, not proof you're fineAutism isn't just about being obsessed with trains. It's about differences in social communication, intense interests, need for routine and sensory sensitivitiesMasking is exhausting. Many people look fine in public but collapse at homeAuDHD is common among people diagnosed in adulthoodRecognition is the first step. You don't need formal diagnosis to start understanding yourself betterResources:Sign up to get show notes: https://subscribepage.io/jk30pYBook a free intro call: https://calendly.com/leahmilnercampbell/30minMore info: https://leahmilnercampbell.co.ukAbout the Host:Leah Milner-Campbell is a former charity CEO and neuroinclusion specialist. She's Autistic, ADHD, Dyscalculic and Dyspraxic, and works with purpose-driven organisations to understand and support neurodivergent leaders and staff.

For 25 years, Leah worked in the charity sector and became a CEO. From the outside, she looked successful. Inside, she was convinced she was lazy, messy and weird. At 37, she discovered the truth. She wasn't any of those things. She was Autistic, ADHD and Dyspraxic. In this first episode, Leah shares her journey from internalising harmful labels to understanding how her brain actually works.Episode Length: 20 minutesIn This Episode:Opening: The Labels I Carried Twenty-five years in the charity sector. CEO by the outside view. But internally convinced of being lazy, messy and weird. The moment at 37 when everything changed.Introduction: Welcome to Lazy, Messy, Weird What thispodcast is about and who it's for. If you're wondering whether you're neurodivergent or have just been diagnosed, this is your space to stop trying to be neurotypical.Origins: My School Reports The earliest evidence. Teacher comments year after year documenting the same struggles. Where those three labels actually came from.Lazy: What I Now Know is ADHD "Not motivated todo her best." "You CAN do better." Years of being told to tryharder. Working chapters ahead in one subject while failing to hand in assignments in others. The pattern nobody questioned. Why having an ADHD brain means task completion works completely differently.Messy: What I Now Know is Dyspraxia Untidy handwriting. Poor coordination. Sitting out of PE afraid of getting hurt. Still bumping into things and spilling drinks today. The difference now is knowing it has a name.Weird: What I Now Know is Autism Difficulties relating to peers. Sitting alone. Being called bossy. Loving books and rules. Emotional outbursts over "small and inconsequential things." The sensitive child who didn't fit in.The Impact: Imposter Syndrome and Burnout Depression, anxiety, eating disorders in teenage years. Becoming a highly masking workaholic. Performance reviews echoing the same themes. Emotional intelligence training. Two burnouts. The exhaustion of constantly getting it wrong.The Discovery: Piecing It Together Social mediaalgorithms putting the right content in front of me. Googling "how do I know if I'm ADHD?" Months later realising I'm Autistic too. This year discovering Dyspraxia. Nearly four decades of feeling weird doesn't disappear instantly, but understanding changes everything.Reflection: If This Resonates With You You don't needit all figured out. You don't need a diagnosis. You don't even need to be sure. If something about this story sounds familiar, that's enough. That's where I started too.Closing: What's Next Coming up in the next episode:Am I Neurodivergent? We'll explore what different neurotypes actually look like and how to figure out if this is you.Key Takeaways:Labels like lazy, messy and weird often hide undiagnosed neurodivergence, particularly in women and girlsHigh achievement and success don't mean you can't be neurodivergent. Many neurodivergent people become workaholics and perfectionists to compensateSchool reports often document neurodivergent traits years before diagnosis, but frame them as behavioural or motivational problemsUnderstanding your neurodivergence isn't about fixing what's broken. It's about learning how your brain actually worksRecognition is the first step. You don't need a formal diagnosis to start exploring whether you're neurodivergentResources:Sign up to get show notes: https://subscribepage.io/jk30pYBook a free intro call to get support: https://calendly.com/leahmilnercampbell/30minMore info and resources: https://leahmilnercampbell.co.ukAbout the Host:Leah Milner-Campbell is a former charity CEO and neuroinclusion specialist. She's Autistic, ADHD, Dyscalculic and Dyspraxic, and works with purpose-driven organisations to understand and support neurodivergent leaders and staff, so they can build workplace cultures where everyone thrives.

Welcome to Lazy, Messy, Weird. I'm Leah Milner-Campbell, and for most of my life, that's exactly what I thought I was - lazy, messy, weird, and rubbish. Turns out, I wasn't any of those things. I was just neurodivergent.If you're listening to this, you might be wondering if you're ADHD, Autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent. Or maybe you've just been diagnosed and you're thinking 'now what?' Either way, you're probably exhausted from trying to beneurotypical when your brain simply doesn't work that way.This podcast is about stopping that impossibletask and starting a different one: figuring out how to be neurodivergent.Because different isn't a bad word - and neither is neurodivergent.