In The Arena With DoorTwo

"Assume positive intent." It's in almost every company's values and every team's ground rules, and almost nobody argues with it. So why is it so hard to actually do?In this episode of In The Arena, Shaun Dyke and DoorTwo Consultant Anna Baldwin talk about why we read the worst into what other people do, and what to do instead.It starts with a leader who behaved badly in front of his group, out of character for him. Anna could have called him out. Instead she asked him, "Are you okay?" He wasn't. He'd gotten news right before he walked into the room, and he was carrying a lot.Most of us give people grace while they're learning. Once we decide someone "should know better," we start treating what they do as on purpose. Then our own history fills in the rest. A new boss calls a meeting for 3pm on a Friday, and we've already decided what it means.Shaun's point: assuming positive intent is still an assumption. You saw what someone did. You didn't see why. If you can't get all the way to positive, you can at least stop assuming and ask.If you lead a team or work for someone, you'll come away with a simple habit: notice what you saw, admit what you didn't see, and ask.What you'll learn:• Why "assume positive intent" is easy to agree with and hard to do• Why we usually go with our first reaction, even though we don't have to• Why we give babies and puppies grace, and when we stop• How your own history shapes what you think other people mean• What "innocent until proven guilty" has to do with your team• The iceberg: what you can't see about the people around you• The 24-hour rule: have the conversation or let it go• What to do the next time someone's behavior sets you off⏱️ Chapters00:00 Why don't we assume positive intent?02:07 A leader's bad day, and "Are you okay?"04:37 Puppies, babies and "you should know better"08:15 Your home movie, and the 3pm Friday meeting13:21 The iceberg: what you can't see in people16:32 What if you didn't assume intent at all?19:15 The 24-hour rule, and what to do next time📩 Have a question you'd like answered on the podcast? Email us at [email protected]📰 Get the models and frameworks from each episode in writing: https://doortwo.com/signup/▶️ Prefer to watch? Full video episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@DoorTwo/podcasts🔔 If conversations about leadership, identity, and growth resonate with you, follow the show.In The Arena is a podcast about what it really means to live and lead well: the patterns that run us, the scripts we inherit, and the beliefs we reinforce without realizing it. Hosted by Shaun Dyke of DoorTwo.

When good people start leaving, most leaders blame the workload: too much to do, too few people, long hours and a lot of uncertainty. It's a fair guess, and it's almost never the whole story. Most of us have had stretches of long hours and real uncertainty that turned out to be some of our favorite times at work.In this episode of In The Arena, Shaun Dyke and Chris Stemp talk through why good people leave and what a leader can do about it.The workload becomes a reason to leave when something around it is missing. People will work hard, through long hours and a lot of ambiguity, if they can see a future in what they're doing. They'll keep going when they know their work is seen and valued. And even people who feel valued will leave when the load gets so out of balance that there's no end in sight. That's usually when pay starts to matter, and even then, more money rarely makes up for a job with no future or work nobody values.Turnover is a result, and it comes primarily from the climate a leader creates. This episode will show you how to retain that great talent.What you'll learn:• Why "my team is overwhelmed" is often the wrong read• What a leader can't control, and why it can't become a crutch• "People don't leave companies, they leave leaders," and what that means for you• Why teams that say they're overloaded are often asking for more meaningful work• Recognition that isn't "you're a rock star"• Effort imbalance: three jobs, plenty of thank-yous, and no end in sight• Where pay fits, and when it starts to matter• Three questions to ask about each of your best people• The simplest way to find out how someone wants to be recognized• If you're the one thinking about leaving: what to bring to your leader⏱️ Chapters00:00 Worried about losing your best people?03:52 What you can't control, and what you can06:25 Is it really the workload?10:25 Reason 1: They don't see a future13:16 Reason 2: They don't feel valued15:17 Reason 3: Effort imbalance, and where pay fits18:49 Three questions to ask about your best people📩 Have a question you'd like answered on the podcast? Email us at [email protected]📰 Get the models and frameworks from each episode in writing: https://doortwo.com/signup/▶️ Prefer to watch? Full video episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@DoorTwo/podcasts🔔 If conversations about leadership, identity, and growth resonate with you, follow the show.In The Arena is a podcast about what it really means to live and lead well: the patterns that run us, the scripts we inherit, and the beliefs we reinforce without realizing it. Hosted by Shaun Dyke of DoorTwo.

Most people picture a micromanager as a tyrant who inspects every piece of work, a leader with a control problem. Plenty of very good leaders micromanage too: people who understand the situation, understand themselves, and have high EQ.In this solo episode of In The Arena, Shaun Dyke looks at why leaders micromanage and what it does to the people around them.Start with a better definition. Micromanaging begins when something about the work becomes so important to you that you're unwilling to let someone else own the outcome.Stepping in can be completely rational, and it often wins in the short term. But the environment a leader creates is one of the biggest reasons people want to accomplish things and own the result. When you keep taking the work back, the people doing it stop feeling like they can accomplish anything or own the outcome. It can also become self-fulfilling. You doubt their ability, you step in, they never get the reps, and you were right to step in.That's why telling yourself to let go rarely works. People see the behavior. What drives it is a motive, and until you know which one, you're treating a symptom. It's also why the most useful question to ask your team isn't "Do I micromanage?" Almost everyone will say no.What you'll learn:• Why very good leaders, with high EQ, still micromanage• Micromanaging defined: the work matters so much to you that you won't let anyone else own the outcome• When stepping in is the rational call, and why it only wins in the short term• How to keep very high standards without constantly taking the work back• What micromanaging does to the environment your team works in• Hero culture, and the dopamine hit of saving the day• Achievement, affiliation and power: three motives that can sit behind it• A three-minute check you can run while you listen• What to ask your team instead of "Do I micromanage?"• What are you protecting? The quality of the work, your identity as an expert, a sense of control• Why a lack of goal and role clarity makes leaders over-controlIf you've ever handed something off and then taken it back, you'll come away knowing what to look for in yourself and what to ask your team.⏱️ Chapters00:00 Micromanagement without the caricature02:15 What micromanagement actually is05:20 What it does to your team07:22 The three motives behind it13:19 So what do you do about it?15:27 Shaun's say-do gap, and what you're protecting17:52 The leader who knows everything📩 Have a question you'd like answered on the podcast? Email us at [email protected]📰 Get the models and frameworks from each episode in writing: https://doortwo.com/signup/▶️ Prefer to watch? Full video episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@DoorTwo/podcasts🔔 If conversations about leadership, identity, and growth resonate with you, follow the show.In The Arena is a podcast about what it really means to live and lead well: the patterns that run us, the scripts we inherit, and the beliefs we reinforce without realizing it. Hosted by Shaun Dyke of DoorTwo.

"You need to work on your executive presence." Most executives hear some version of that feedback at some point in their careers, and it's hard to act on because it sounds so vague. What does that mean?It can also sound like a request to be more formal, or more like somebody else. In this episode of In The Arena, Shaun Dyke and Chris Stemp break down what executive presence really means and how to build it.Start with a simpler definition: presence is what your behavior does to a room, and putting "executive" in front of it just raises the bar. There is a core set of traits most organizations expect from their senior leaders. Past that core, it depends on the room, which is why speaking up forcefully can be expected in one company and read as combative in the next. And the person who gave you the feedback usually knows what they meant by it. That makes the most useful next step asking them. Once you're a director or a VP, though, asking can feel like admitting you don't know what you're doing. Shaun's experience with senior executives points the other way. What you'll learn: - Why "executive presence" is vague to you but not to the person who says it - The four core standards: composure, clarity, ownership, and judgment - Why the better question walking into a room is "How do I create clarity?" and not "How do I get clarity?" - The CEO who flew in expecting an update and was asked to say a few words - Karaoke leadership, and finding a version of presence that's actually yours - Kendra Scott's "high care, high bar," and how a company's own standards add to the list - Suit and tie, sleeves rolled up, then a hug: three client visits in Boston - Why the same behavior reads as meek in one room and combative in another - The sales executive in cufflinks who lasted 30 days - The most important question Shaun asks in a 360 interview - What to do when the standard you're given is a single word like "courage" - Why, in DoorTwo's data, only about 10% of people naturally ask for help - When the feedback isn't really about executive presence at all - A real gap, or a perception you have to manage? If you've been told you need more executive presence and didn't know where to start, you'll come away with four standards to check yourself against and a better question to take back to the person who said it.⏱️ Chapters00:00 Told you need more executive presence02:13 What executive presence actually means04:20 The four core standards07:07 Create clarity, don't just go get it10:42 Chris's story, and karaoke leadership14:11 Handshake, high five, hug 17:47Too quiet for one room, too loud for another20:26 The Leadership Chain, and the 30-day hire23:41 "So what do I do with it?" 29:03 Will asking for feedback hurt you?32:12 When it isn't executive presence at allConnect with us📩 Have a question you'd like answered on the podcast? Email us at [email protected] 📰 Get the models and frameworks from each episode in writing: https://doortwo.com/signup/ ▶️ Prefer to watch? Full video episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@DoorTwo/podcasts🔔 If conversations about leadership, identity, and growth resonate with you, follow the show.In The Arena is a podcast about what it really means to live and lead well: the patterns that run us, the scripts we inherit, and the beliefs we reinforce without realizing it. Hosted by Shaun Dyke of DoorTwo.

Why do certain people get under your skin so easily?The frustrating answer is that it may have less to do with them than you think.In this episode of In The Arena, Shaun Dyke and Chris Stemp break down why we assign meaning to other people's behavior, why our brains so often assume the worst, and how insecurity, identity, and negativity bias can turn a small interaction into hours of irritation.They explore the difference between someone actually behaving badly and the story we create about what their behavior meant, plus what to do when someone really is being rude, dismissive, or difficult. You'll learn how to recognize when your reaction is bigger than the event, why being offended can sometimes serve us, and how to stop handing other people control over your emotional state.If you've ever replayed a conversation, obsessed over someone's tone, or wondered why the same types of people keep annoying you, you already know how much of a day that can take.⏱️ Chapters00:00 The people who annoy us02:26 More offense is taken than is ever given04:28 Real offense, or your interpretation?07:22 "The behavior is theirs. The story is yours."10:59 What color is your lens?13:59 Reason one: negativity bias17:50 The movie, the hand let go, and "We okay?"20:13 Reason two: identity threat23:56 "I'm not a puppet"29:35 Knowing is not doing, so what do I do?32:00 The three life positions36:23 The recap, and "you get what you invite"42:09 Final words🎧 Be sure to follow this podcast wherever you are listening!▶ Watch the full In the Arena series: https://www.youtube.com/@DoorTwo/podcasts📰 Get the ideas and summaries from each episode: https://doortwo.com/signup/🏢 Learn more about DoorTwo and our work: https://doortwo.com/In The Arena is a podcast about what it really means to live and lead well: the patterns that run us, the scripts we inherit, and the beliefs we reinforce without realizing it. Hosted by Shaun Dyke of DoorTwo.