my Body can : midlife exercise experiments and reflections

I recorded this episode after something small but meaningful happened during a workout. I didn’t plan for it to become an episode. I just noticed that a familiar pattern had shifted, and I wanted to celebrate it.What surprised me wasn’t the movement itself. It was how I related to it.The mindset shiftI’d been doing a short workout. Five minutes of barre. My knees were still healing. My arms were shaky. My coordination was off. I was clearly not good at what I was doing.Normally, that’s the moment where frustration shows up. Where I start negotiating with myself about whether this is worth it. Whether I should be doing something else. Something I’m better at.Instead, a different thought landed.“I sucked at this but it’s fun.”💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

There was ping pong happening behind me when I recorded this episode.Not aggressively. Just enough that if this were the audio episode you’d hear it and think, oh, she’s definitely not at home.I was standing in a coworking booth with a resistance band around my legs.Yes. Around my actual legs. While working.Very professional.And I keep wondering, why is it so weird to move at work?Because my brain is moving. My thoughts are moving. Everything up here is firing. And my Body wants to join in.If you want to keep thinking about this with me, you’re welcome here.I write to make sense of what my Body is doing and how that changes how I work, move, and think. And right now what it’s doing is refusing to sit still like a polite midlife woman with a laptop.And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

I didn’t stop doing barre because I didn’t like it.I stopped because I didn’t feel “good at it” and that mattered for some reason. This was an unconscious consensus for sure. And it stuck. The way subtle pressures rest on our body before the brain ever checks them.I’m realizing now that a lot of my movement history lives there.In the quiet decisions.In the things I stopped trying without ever officially quitting.This is my Body can, after all.Not my body should.Not my body used to.Just what my Body can do. Right now.And lately, my body can do five minutes of barre.Five minutes.That’s it.And somehow, that’s enough.💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about soreness. Not pain. Not injury. Just that dull, sometimes surprising physical soreness that shows up after movement. The kind that makes you pause and ask, wait, why now?If you want to keep thinking about this with me, you’re welcome here.What keeps catching my attention is not just that I get sore, but when I get sore. Sometimes it’s immediate. Sometimes it’s the next morning. And sometimes it shows up two or three days later, long after I’ve forgotten exactly which movement might have caused it. That timing feels different than it used to, and I’ve been curious about what that difference is asking of me.If you want to keep thinking about this with me, you’re welcome to follow me here. https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

For a long time, I released stress by moving for a long time.Long walks.Long hikes.Long bike rides.Not fast. Not intense. Just long enough for my nervous system to settle into a rhythm and let whatever needed to move, move. I never thought of it as regulation back then. It was just what felt good. What worked.And then, not so slowly I couldn’t do that.Foot problems. Back problems. Endometriosis. Surgery. Recovery. Vertigo. Unpredictability.It wasn’t one thing. It was a pileup. And somewhere along the way, the main way I knew how to get energy out of my body didn’t work.I didn’t just lose exercise. I lost a pressure valve.When energy has nowhere to goStress doesn’t politely stay in the brain.It shows up in the body whether we invite it or not. And when I couldn’t move the way I used to, the stress didn’t disappear. It just stayed. It pooled. It poked. It pressed.I didn’t always notice it right away. Sometimes it showed up as irritability. Sometimes exhaustion. Sometimes sadness that didn’t seem to belong. Sometimes it was just a sense of being weighed down by something I couldn’t name.The hardest part was not knowing when my body would cooperate.💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

There’s a particular kind of frustration that shows up in midlife.You’re moving your body.You’re getting stronger.You can feel progress, even if you can’t always see it.And then your eating habits quietly slide sideways.Nothing dramatic. Nothing intentional. Just a slow accumulation of “this is easier,” “this is around,” “this will do for now.” Suddenly, the feedback loop between effort and outcome feels… blurry.That’s the moment I’ve been sitting with lately.Not because I want to “fix” my body, but because I want to understand how easy it is to lose focus on what my body can do when food becomes noisy again.💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

How Long Is Enough Movement?I’ve been thinking a lot about a question that kind of annoys me.How long do we need to work out for it to “count”?There’s something about that framing that feels gross to me. Not because it’s a bad question. It’s a very practical one. Life is busy. Energy is finite. Time is weird in midlife.But the idea that movement only matters if it crosses some invisible threshold feels off.Still, I think about it a lot. Probably because I’m living it.Most of my workouts right now are short. Ten to fifteen minutes. Dumbbells for arms. Resistance bands. Booty bands. The usual suspects if you’ve been following along for a while. I’ve also added some fascia work, though I learned quickly that thirty minutes of that was a little too ambitious for me. So now I’m doing about ten minutes there too.And here’s the thing. I feel progress.Not visually. Not in a mirror. But in what my Body can do. In how it feels during the day. In how it functions when I’m not “working out” at all.That shift is kind of the entire point of this project. It’s not about how I look. It’s about what I can do.But even with that mindset, this question keeps coming up. Especially in conversations with other midlife women.How long do we need to move?How long do we want to move?And are those the same thing?💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

How do you fall better?It’s not a question I ever expected to ask. Falling feels like something you avoid, not something you train for. And yet, last week, after a completely ordinary misstep on a quiet street, I found myself asking it honestly.I’m okay. Nothing dramatic happened. But what surprised me wasn’t the fall itself. It was how my body and my nervous system responded afterward.A quick note before we continueThis project is now reader-supported.Each month, 4 readers can sponsor the work so it stays open, ad-free, and unhurried.If that feels meaningful to you, you can sponsor a month here:https://zcal.co/i/AAUhO_89Just select any of the dates in the month (just one date).No pressure. No paid subscriptions. A one time sponsorship option. Thank you.💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

When Rest Isn’t EnoughI’ve been sick again.Not dramatically sick. Not emergency sick. Just that low grade, lingering, frustrating kind of sick that doesn’t knock you out all at once, but quietly rearranges your days.The kind where you’re technically functioning, but something feels off.For me, that off feeling shows up as disconnection.Because movement, at least the way I experience it, isn’t just exercise. It’s how I stay in touch with myself. It’s how I know where I end and the day begins. It’s how I metabolize stress, anxiety, and whatever energy doesn’t have anywhere else to go.And when I can’t move the way that feels natural or good, even in small ways, I start to feel less like me.This episode of my Body can started with a question that felt almost ridiculous to say out loud.💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

What did I love to do as a kid, purely for the joy of it, that somehow disappeared when movement became serious?Not productive.Not corrective.Not attached to a goal.This episode, and this piece, came from remembering that movement doesn’t actually have to lead anywhere to be worth doing. It can just exist. It can meet us where we are. It can feel good in the moment and stop there.💡 Check out the Substack post that goes into this topic in more detail: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

I didn’t record this episode while lifting weights or balancing on one foot or stretching my hips on the floor. I recorded it while walking outside in Bilbao, Spain, past a fountain, toward the river, on a break from work. That detail matters.Because this episode wasn’t really about gyms. It was about how my body responds to places, energy, sound, light, expectations, and pressure, and how I’m finally letting that information count.For most of my life, I’ve assumed the problem was me.Too sensitive. Too tired. Too overwhelmed. Too easily drained.But what if the problem isn’t my body at all?What if it’s the environments we keep asking our bodies to tolerate?💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

Vote for the mBc podcast!We’ve been nominated for a Discover Podcast podcast award in the Health and Fitness category. Hurrah!The Quiet Magic of Healing Sooner ✨Some weeks feel ordinary on the surface: little routines, little experiments, tiny adjustments that all blend together. Then one small moment reminds me that my Body’s changing in ways I never expected in my fifties.That happened to me this week. I expected to wake up with the usual neck and shoulder pain, the kind that settles in after a stressful day and hangs around like it paid rent. Instead, I woke up with the kind of mild discomfort that barely registers. For someone who’s spent more than a decade bracing for long stretches of soreness, that felt like quiet magic.I’m still thinking about it. in fact from me but not me exactly.💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

Season 2: coming on Tuesday!Midlife movement gets real, messy, honest, hopeful. Rebuilding your body in midlife shouldn’t feel impossible. my Body can returns for Season 2 with a weekly look at what it actually feels like to move again after years of injuries, illnesses, and hormonal chaos. Instead of offering polished fitness advice or unrealistic midlife transformations, this podcast documents the real process: the mood swings that change your workouts, the days when strength shows up out of nowhere, the days when it doesn’t, the tiny signs of progress that feel huge, and the strange reality of renegotiating your relationship with your own body. Season 1’s 30-episodes-in-30-days challenge revealed just how much honesty and humor can change the way we approach movement. Season 2 builds on that momentum, focusing on what’s ahead, not what was, and exploring how strength, stability, and confidence can grow in the middle of life without perfection or pressure.If you want a real, relatable look at midlife movement, follow my Body can on any podcast app, YouTube or on Substack at mybodycan.substack.com. Because my body can, and yours can too, do a lot more than we realize. We just have to match our movements to our lives. See you Tuesday, Steph This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

Thirty days. Thirty episodes. Thirty attempts to say out loud what I have been trying to make sense of privately for years. I knew this project would change something, but I didn’t know it would change this much.I didn’t know that simply talking about movement while actually moving would rewire the way I think about my body, my habits, and myself.I’m not exercising while recording this one, not really, although I am walking around the apartment with a resistance band around my legs because I think better when I move. I guess that’s part of the story. Things that used to feel like exercise now feel like living.This episode feels emotional. It feels like an ending and a beginning at the same time.💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

Walking has always been my movement home base. Out of every type of movement I have tried in my life, walking is the one that has stayed with me. Through childhood, through illness, through injury, through all the shifts and surprises of midlife. Today I wanted to talk about that. Not the pain, not the diagnoses, not the setbacks, but the thing that has consistently brought me joy.💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

I didn’t expect frozen shoulder to shape my entire movement life. But here I am, years later, still noticing the aftershocks in my workouts, my choices, and even my confidence. Today I want to walk through what happened, what I learned, and why this experience affects the way I train now.Before I get into it, if you’re following along with my 30-day podcast challenge, thank you. This project has taken me through more emotions and memories than I expected, and frozen shoulder is one of the big ones.💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

How Strength Training Improved Travel DaysI did not expect my travel days to become a marker of progress in my strength journey, but here we are. Today I want to talk about what it actually takes, physically and mentally, to move countries with only a few suitcases and a body that is still learning how to be strong.Hi, I am Steph, creator of My Body Can. I am documenting my midlife strength journey after years of illness, injury, and wild hormonal fluctuations. I am doing a 30 day podcast challenge while I rebuild patterns, routines, and habits that help my body feel supported again.💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

I didn’t expect this to be the thing I uncovered during my 30-day movement experiment, but here I am: somewhere between dumbbell reps and editing my own voice for the 25th day in a row, discovering a weird little streak of resentment toward cute workout gear. And the more I heard myself say it, the more I realized I needed to sit with it instead of letting it float by like background noise.→ New here? I’m sharing 30 days of honest movement reflections as I rebuild strength in my 50s. Did I say that?I record a lot of these episodes while I’m actually moving. Today’s was during my dumbbell workout; the overhead variations, the slow lifts, the huffing and puffing that happens when 2.5 kilos suddenly feels like ten because I’m paying attention to form. Something about exercising while talking always cracks open a different part of my brain. The filter drops. The truth spills out. I think more clearly when I’m using my body.While I edited the recording, I noticed something that surprised me: every time I mentioned pretty workout clothing, my tone wasn’t neutral. It wasn’t curious. It wasn’t mildly annoyed. It sounded… disdainful. Like I had a problem with it.That was confusing because I don’t actually dislike cute workout clothing. I’m not anti-color or anti-fun or anti-intentional outfits. I just don’t wear a lot of that stuff right now, mostly because I’ve been living in super basic clothes for years, especially during my time in Denmark when everything I bought ended up being black or neutral simply because nothing else fit me the way I wanted. But I don’t have any real issue with the clothing itself.So why did I sound so irritated?The more I listened, the more I realized it wasn’t about the gear. It was about what I associate with the gear. I’ve watched people prioritize looking good over doing what feels good or supportive for their bodies. Not everyone. Not most people. But enough that the story stuck in my brain.At one point during an overhead lift, I said out loud, without planning to, something I hadn’t fully acknowledged:I carry resentment toward people who seem to prioritize aesthetics over accessibility or honesty in fitness.Not resentment toward them as individuals… but toward the idea I’ve built around them. The idea that exercise is supposed to be performed rather than practiced. That it’s about appearing strong instead of building strength in real time. That it’s about looking the part rather than showing up with the body I actually have.But as soon as that thought was out of my mouth, I recognized it wasn’t really about anyone else. It was about me.The deeper layerWhen I finally said it plainly, it all clicked. After years of illness, injury, and hormonal chaos, I think of movement in a very specific way:-function over form.-comfort over coordination.-showing up over looking good doing it.So when I see someone in coordinated, polished fitness outfits, my reaction isn’t about them. It’s about the part of me that still remembers feeling like I didn’t belong in those spaces. The part of me that felt excluded from the “fitness world” because my body wasn’t behaving the way I wanted it to. The part of me that worried I didn’t look like someone who was “allowed” to be there.It turns out that my resentment wasn’t about cute workout gear.It was about the version of me who felt invisible in those settings.The truth is: a lot of people wearing beautiful, intentional workout gear have worked extremely hard to get where they are. They deserve to feel good in their bodies and in their clothing. Many of them are kind, encouraging, and offering genuinely helpful content. I even follow a few of them myself.The issue was never their clothing, it was my projection.I realized that the story I’ve been carrying is this:that fitness only “counts” if my body looks a certain way while doing it.And because I didn’t always feel like I matched that image, I found something superficial to push against: the gear. The aesthetic. The outfit. It was easier than admitting the vulnerability underneath.But this 30-day streak is stripping away those old narratives. When I record myself moving, actually moving, every day, I can’t hide behind assumptions anymore. I hear the patterns. I hear the tone shifts. And then I get to choose what to keep and what to let go.This one? I’m letting it go.My resentment doesn’t protect me. It doesn’t help me move more consistently. It doesn’t make me stronger.It pulls attention away from what I’m genuinely trying to build: a better relationship with my body.So from this point forward, if I slip into that bitter tone about cute workout clothes again, I’m deleting the line. I don’t want to feed energy into something that no longer serves me.The only thing that matters is that I move, in whatever clothes I feel good in, at whatever pace I’m capable of, one breath and one repetition at a time.The gear I’m using right now: DumbbellsSince today’s episode was literally recorded while I was working through dumbbell reps, I’m sharing the equipment I’m relying on the most right now.I’ve been using light dumbbells (2.5 kilos) as part of rebuilding my strength without irritating old injuries. They’re perfect for overhead movements, gentle strength building, and every slow, intentional rep I rambled through in this episode.If you want to try something similar, these are the ones I recommend:If you live in the US, try these. If you live in the EU, try these.If you live elsewhere, let me know the country and I’ll start including those links going forward (and send you one for this item).Showing up every dayI’m always surprised by how much I learn about myself simply by moving consistently. Not just about my muscles or range of motion, but about my beliefs, my assumptions, my unspoken irritation, my internal monologue. The stuff I don’t notice until I hear it coming out of my own mouth.This streak isn’t about looking good while moving.It’s about actually moving.Showing up in the body I have.Wearing what feels comfortable.Letting go of insecurities that drag me backward instead of forward.If you’re reading this and following along with my messy, reflective little journey: thank you. It feels good to keep going, even when what I’m learning is uncomfortable.Especially then.Tomorrow is a new rep.And I’m showing up for it.Back tomorrow, Steph This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

Planning is helpful but proof changes everything.Today I realized something big: I’ve been putting all my exercise plans into Google Calendar and assuming that was enough. It worked beautifully when I only had two workouts to remember, literally two things to track. I would open my calendar, see the workout, tap the link, and do the thing. Super simple. No friction. No thinking. Just show up and complete it.But now that I’ve expanded into multiple kinds of movement: fascia work, bouncing, strength tools, and more, I’m losing track of what I’ve actually done. And that’s where everything started to get more confusing. The more I added, the more I realized I needed something more than just a reminder system.And honestly? It’s messing with my head a little. I’ll look back and think:Did I do that yesterday… or did I just plan to do it yesterday?And because I don’t have proof, my brain automatically assumes the worst: that I didn’t do anything. Even when I did.If you’re wired like I am, you know how dangerous that mental loop can be. You end up discounting your own effort. You assume you’re behind. You forget that progress is happening quietly in the background.💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com

I didn’t realize how many unspoken rules I had about exercise until I started breaking them. Accidentally at first, then intentionally, and now with a bit of curiosity. For most of my adult life, movement was supposed to look a certain way. Focused. Structured. Contained. Done in a particular room, in a particular order, wearing the “right” clothing, following the “right” exercises, and never—ever—multitasked.But the more I work on this project, the more I notice that none of those rules came from me. They were absorbed. Picked up. Assumed. And for decades, they quietly shaped how I moved, or didn’t move at all. Today’s workout made that really clear in a way I didn’t expect.I was recording during my mobility session. Yes, recording while doing a mobility routine, and I realized just how many things I do during workouts that the “exercise world” would probably shake its head at. And yet, these little rule-breaking moments are the reason I keep showing up. They’re the reason movement feels doable and not like one more performance I have to get right.💡 Transcripts, links and more: https://mybodycan.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mybodycan.substack.com