The Over-thinker Club

Maybe the cure to the modern mental health epidemic is simply to....have someone to talk to.... even if it's just for thirty minutes per night. Let's break down the magic of 'talking about nothing', and how important it is in fulfilling humans' fundamental desire to feel safe through connection. In this episode, I reflect on my experiences living with family in Shanghai, living alone in NYC, and now living with a homestay family in Milan. Enjoy ~

Since middle school, I have struggled to make platonic male friends. I say this because I somehow always get accused of being flirtatious, or leading people on. My personality gives off the wrong impression, and I cannot help it unless I pretend to be someone I am not. I asked around for some advice on how I can start making some male friends without seeming like I am romantically interested in someone. Tune in to listen to how I plan on preventing myself from falling back into old patterns of developing unwanted sexual tension with men I merely see as another human being.

In moments of drastic change, life can feel completely turned upside down. From daily meals to sleeping habits, everything is forced out of its familiar rhythm when you move abroad. Today, I invite you to reflect on the small things that made this transition a little easier. What do you appreciate? Now, think back to a time when you faced a similar major shift. What new insight do you see now, looking back at a younger version of yourself? I’m so grateful for every one of you listening, and I’ll talk to you all very soon. :)

Buongiorno from Milan, Italy! The past two days in Italy has given me more culture shock than I have expected. What do you mean you don't sit down at a cafe? Why are Italian men so flirty? Gym culture in Italy? Um hello bakery store, google maps said you are open, but why aren't you?? Here are some of my unfiltered thoughts as a Chinese-American exchange student.

Two diasporic girls unpack their complicated relationships with wealth through reflections on their lived experiences in Fuzhounese-American ethnic enclaves. How does the “American Dream” shape taboos around inheritance and conversations about money? How do these silences surface in elite environments, cultural crossroads, and within the financial capital of New York City? In this episode, Wena and I explore alternative relationships to work and life among Chinese, Americans, and those who exist somewhere in between. We do so by asking a pressing question of our moment: what does it mean to “labor” in an era increasingly shaped by AI and job augmentation?

While Asian Americans and other AAPI groups have recently gained representation through legislation, cinema, and literature, a niche group has yet to be spoken up for: International School Students in America. Neither fitting into the category of "minority" nor fully belonging to any one culture, I and many of my peers face constant imposter syndrome after leaving our haven. Today, Sarah and I discuss why the socioeconomic upbringings in an international school community may increase students' imposter syndrome once entering a more diverse American university. We conclude by discussing how we've navigated these culture shocks in our own ways.

Growing up in a modest household where the top love language was acts of service, I have never learnt how to flirt. In this episode, expert flirtist Blu spills her secret recipe to making everyday flattery a little more grungy, a lot more spicy. From party tricks to Hinge pick-up lines, we cover a lot of ground. There may even be a few stories of past romances sprinkled here and there. Follow along on my journey to spice up my love life :)

Candice, the older sister I've never had, answers my questions about modern dating. Is it possible to date someone without lowering our standards in the dire dating scene of New York City? Why do so many women have a savior complex in romantic relationships? Is delulu really the solulu when you are chasing a relationship that would ultimately lead to ruins? How do we cope with rejection? I learned a lot, and I hope you do too :)

Self-care looks different at different times. Sometimes it is following a wellness influencer and curating that flawless morning routine. Other times, according to Lolly, you might just have to get your armpits waxed... Jasmine thinks that the short answer is: stop procrastinating. Tune in to hear what these two stressed Barnard students have to say about how they've navigated rough mornings and late nights, discovering what self-care means to them.

While being the eldest daughter comes with the perks of receiving ample attention, envy, and respect from parents and younger siblings, it is also disabling in one primary way: not being able to chill. There's one of them in everyone's life. Cara and I are the stereotypes. The mother of the friend group. The team carry. The fixer in romantic relationships. Next time you bump into one, go up and ask "wait, are you an eldest daughter?" She'd be impressed.

Having grown up within a small bubble of Chinese business owners and their families, I have learned from a young age to stay skeptical. In social settings where "proper etiquette" matters more than authenticity, I was taught by my dad to always trace someone's behaviors back to their motives. In this episode, I explore the aftermaths of being raised with this mindset, and how it makes trust a great luxury that comes at the cost of chronic skepticism.

The frustration of being held back by your body when trying to pursue things that matter to you, we've been there. Whether it is a sports injury, a panic attack, or catching a flu, it can make us feel very trapped and useless in the moment! Ava and I discuss the flip side of cartesian dualism: instead of treating our bodies as a prison cell to our soul, we learn to trust the ancient knowledge encoded in our very human DNA. How can changing our mindset around this dualism aid us in rebuilding trust with our bodies in this modern age of chronic stress? Tune in :)

It can be easy to blame yourself for doing worse at something that came so easy to you in the past. Whether it is staying fit, getting good grades, or sustaining good mental health. But if you think you have regressed, this means that you need to zoom out more to see the bigger picture. Ask yourself, in what ways have my values changed in the past few years that has led to this seeming regression? Which areas have I grown that I am not seeing? Step back, zoom out, and realize the bigger picture that you are painting without even realizing it.

Connecting with your professors at a human to human level not only guarantees a higher grade, but also brings out beautiful moments of genuine conversation. Listen to find out how you can become the new teacher's pet (jk) and learn from your professors beyond academia.

"In your 20s, you're too young to be seriously dating anyone who isn't perfect for you." Today, Sammi and I talk about how we grapple with dating in our early 20s in nyc. What is the balance between upholding your standards while still putting yourself out there to explore the scene? What are our red flags? Dating apps? And when do you simply...give up on someone?

Showing you care can be very energy draining, isolating, and scary, especially as someone who is or recently was a teenager. But I have faith that bringing energy and intentionality into your every day interactions has more pros than cons, and can ultimately leave you better off socially, personally, and on a career-level.

A not so concise introduction of myself in a first date format. And can we talk a little about the moments when you don't have the energy to talk but still want to converse? Like in your head, with someone? Listen to hear my ADHD-style thoughts.