The Positivity Xperience

Healing doesn't just change how you feel — it changes how you show up in relationships. And that shift can be deeply uncomfortable for the people who benefited from the old version of you. In this episode, we explore what actually happens when you begin healing, setting boundaries, regulating your nervous system, and stepping out of familiar emotional roles — while others stay stuck in the same patterns. If you've noticed tension, guilt-tripping, distance, or backlash since doing the inner work, this episode will help you understand why. We'll break down the psychology behind it, including: • Why your healing disrupts emotional roles and power dynamics  • How ego reacts when it can no longer control or rely on you  • Why unhealed people experience boundaries as rejection  • How projection, shame, and insecurity drive resistance  • Why calm and regulation feel threatening to dysregulated nervous systems  • Why people try to pull you back into who you used to be  • How to stop explaining, shrinking, or self-betraying to keep the peace  • How to hold compassion without abandoning yourself You'll learn why healing doesn't   make you selfish or cold — it makes you less available for dysfunction.  This episode is for anyone who is growing, changing, and wondering why relationships suddenly feel harder. Because healing doesn't destroy relationships — it reveals which ones depended on your unhealed self. Get The Worksheet On Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Get The Journals & Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com  

Most people don't fail because their goals are impossible — they fail because they wait for a date on a calendar to save them. In today's episode, The Science of Starting Now: How Micro-Actions Beat Motivation, we're breaking down why New Year's resolutions, "I'll start Monday," and waiting for motivation actually train your brain to delay your life. When you put change off, you create more stress, more shame, and more pressure… and that pressure becomes the reason you avoid doing anything at all. You'll learn the real psychology and neuroscience behind procrastination: Why your brain sees "future you" as a stranger How planning gives dopamine without progress Why perfectionism secretly keeps you stuck How delaying decisions destroys self-trust Most importantly, you'll learn how small actions right now can completely rewire your identity, reduce anxiety, and build the version of you that actually follows through. No more waiting for Mondays. No more waiting for motivation. Today counts. If you're ready to ditch shame-based resolutions and start living the life you want now, this episode is your wake-up call. 🎧 Listen, take the micro-action challenge, and share this with someone who keeps delaying their own potential. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience For More Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com  

Religion can be a powerful source of community, comfort, and guidance — but for many, it also becomes a source of fear, guilt, and lifelong emotional distress. When faith is tied to shame, control, and conditional love, it stops being spirituality… and becomes trauma. In this episode, we reveal the psychological and emotional impact of religious trauma: how rigid belief systems, spiritual manipulation, fear-based teachings, and family conditioning shape identity and self-worth long after someone leaves the church. You'll learn: ◼ how shame is weaponized to enforce obedience ◼ how fear of punishment replaces genuine morality ◼ the link between religious gaslighting and self-doubt ◼ why breaking away can feel like betrayal, even when it's healing ◼ how purity culture deeply damages self-image ◼ why questioning beliefs triggers panic ◼ how to rebuild spirituality on your own terms ◼ how to separate identity from indoctrination ◼ how to heal the guilt and anxiety that linger for years This episode will help you understand that you are not weak, broken, or "lost" — you were conditioned to believe your safety relied on obedience. Now you get to redefine what spirituality means, without shame being the cost of belonging.   Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Get More Resources: www.thepositivityxperience.com  

If you've lived your life waiting for impact — waiting for the next crisis, the next emotional explosion, the next let-down, the next shoe to drop — this episode is for you. Because some people don't struggle with motivation or discipline. Some people struggle with a nervous system that never turns off. In this episode, we're breaking down the neuroscience of chronic activation — why your body stays braced even when your mind knows you're safe — and how survival mode becomes a personality, a habit, an identity. We'll explore: ◼ why your nervous system can't relax, even during calm ◼ how early life conditions shaped your internal alarm system ◼ what hypervigilance, catastrophizing, and overthinking really are ◼ why rest feels dangerous instead of peaceful ◼ how perfectionism, people-pleasing, and control form as protection ◼ the brain chemicals behind anxiety and constant scanning ◼ how to begin retraining your body to feel safe — slowly and gently ◼ body-first tools to regulate instead of mentally wrestle with panic ◼ how to prepare for the new year without pressure or urgency This isn't another "just breathe more" episode. This is nervous system literacy. This is survival recognition. This is learning how to step out of emergency mode one micro-step at a time. If you're exhausted by always being "on," this episode will help you name it, understand it, and finally begin reversing it. Because you don't need to be a new you in January. You need a nervous system that isn't fighting for its life. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Get The Journals! www.thepositivityxperience.com  

Most people think anxious attachment means someone "loves harder," cares more, or is just afraid of losing you… but the truth is deeper and far more complicated. In this episode, we break down the psychology and neuroscience behind anxious attachment and why it can turn relationships into emotional pressure rather than connection. If you've ever felt smothered by someone's "love," guilty for needing space, or responsible for someone else's emotional stability, this episode will give you clarity and tools to break the cycle. We'll explore: ◼ why anxious attachment turns affection into urgency ◼ how fear becomes disguised as love ◼ the brain chemicals responsible for panic-bonding ◼ why they want YOU to regulate their emotions ◼ how guilt is used (consciously or unconsciously) to keep you close ◼ why you get trapped in rescuing ◼ how your nervous system gets hooked by their panic ◼ what to STOP doing immediately ◼ how to step out of caretaker mode without abandoning yourself ◼ how to set boundaries without becoming the villain You'll learn how to recognize the difference between real intimacy and emotional dependency, how to protect your peace, and how to stop being someone's emotional stabilizer. This episode will give you clarity, language, tools, and permission. Especially if you're tired of feeling responsible for other people's emotional worlds. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepostivityxperience Get The Journals & Let's Work Together: www.thepositivityxperience.com  

Some people don't manipulate through anger — they manipulate through weakness. In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, Lori Wheeler breaks down the psychology, neuroscience, and emotional patterns behind feigned vulnerability and feigned helplessness — two of the most subtle and powerful forms of manipulation. You'll learn: • How people fake fragility to gain control • The psychology behind "playing helpless" • How learned helplessness and attachment wounds feed manipulation • The dopamine reward loop that keeps YOU rescuing them • Why your empathy makes you the perfect target • How to break the cycle without guilt or fear Lori exposes how emotional collapse, tears, helplessness, victimhood, and "I can't" statements are often used as covert power plays — especially when you try to hold boundaries. This episode blends neuroscience, attachment theory, and real-world examples to help you: • stop falling for guilt-based manipulation • stop absorbing responsibility that isn't yours • stay grounded when someone acts fragile • keep your boundaries even when they escalate If you've ever felt drained, guilty, or confused after dealing with someone who "just can't do things," this episode will finally give you clarity — and tools to take your power back. — 🎧 Listen on: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube 💜 Patreon: Access the full worksheet and extended content at www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience 🌐 Website: www.thepositivityxperience.com

Ever wonder why no matter how much you have — it never feels like enough? In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, Lori Wheeler dives deep into the scarcity mindset — the psychological, energetic, and neurological patterns that keep you stuck in lack. You'll discover: • Why your brain is wired to focus on what's missing (and how to reprogram it) • The neuroscience of negativity bias and how it fuels fear-based thinking • How your energetic vibration mirrors your beliefs about "enough" • Grounding techniques to calm your nervous system and embody abundanc Lori blends neuroscience, mindset work, and energetic awareness to help you stop chasing safety through scarcity and start creating it through trust. 🔹 Learn how to shift your frequency from fear to flow. 🔹 Understand why your body resists abundance — and how to teach it safety. 🔹 Reclaim your energy and create from peace instead of panic. If you've ever felt like you're living in survival mode — this is your roadmap back to ease, safety, and self-trust. 🎧 Listen now on: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube 💬 Join the Patreon for exclusive worksheets and deeper mindset work: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience 🌐 Visit www.thepositivityxperience.com for The Transformational 5 Journals and coaching.    

Have you ever wondered who you'd be if you stopped trying to live up to everyone else's expectations? In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, Lori Wheeler breaks down the psychology of identity — how childhood attachment, social pressure, and people-pleasing create a false self that keeps you disconnected from who you really are. You'll learn: • Why your brain links approval with safety (and how to retrain it) • The hidden cost of performing for acceptance • What it means to stop defining yourself through others' validation • How to reclaim your sense of self and live authentically This episode blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and real-world coaching tools to help you stop performing for others and start living for yourself. 🔹 If you've ever said "I don't even know who I am anymore," this one's for you. — 🎧 Listen on: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube 💬 Join the Patreon for exclusive worksheets, deeper coaching, and behind-the-scenes guidance: www.patreon.com/thepostiivityxperience Visit www.thepositivityxperience.com for coaching, programs, and The 5 Transformational Journals.

Do you find yourself doing more than your share — emotionally, logistically or mentally — and wondering if your 'help' is actually betraying you? In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, we explore how over‑functioning became a survival strategy, the neuroscience behind the rescuer loop, and how to reclaim your identity outside of being the fixer. You'll learn: *Why your nervous system equates others' struggles with a threat to your value *The 3‑step brain rewire to stop rescuing and start supporting *How to redefine love and boundaries when you've been stuck in self‑betrayal *It's time to stop saving people at your own expense — and start helping from your wholeness. Tune in now. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Find more resources including the journals: www.thepositivityxperience.com

Do you ever walk away from a conversation and feel like you're the villain — when all you did was protect your peace? In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, we dive into the emotional smear campaign: those covert moments when someone flips the story on you, uses guilt as ammo, and turns your boundary into your fault. We'll blend psychology, neuroscience and lived experience to help you: *Understand why your brain falls into the guilt loop *Recognize the smear tactics manipulators use *Use three neuroscience‑backed tools to regulate your nervous system when you're being attacked. *Build the confidence to let the story go and keep your power This isn't about being cold — it's about being grounded. When you are no longer afraid of being misunderstood, you win. Tune in and get ready to rewrite your story. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Grab additional resources here: www.thepositivityxperience.com

In this episode, Lori breaks down what it really means to rehabilitate your ego—not destroy it. Most people live entirely from their Id, the impulsive part of the mind that seeks comfort, validation, and control at any cost. But when you learn to balance the Id, Ego, and Superego, you stop reacting from fear and start responding from awareness. You'll discover: *The difference between a healthy ego and an inflated one. *How the Id drives impulsive behavior, emotional reactivity, and control issues.  *Why "ego death" isn't the goal—ego integration is. *How to retrain the ego to support your higher self instead of sabotaging it. *Real practices from ACT Therapy and cognitive defusion to detach from ego-driven stories. *How to recognize when your Id is running your relationships, habits, and inner dialogue. If you've ever felt stuck between wanting peace and needing control, this episode will help you step into clarity and rebuild a healthy inner authority. Your ego isn't the enemy—it's your untrained protector. Teach it peace, not power. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's Work Together: www.thepositivityxperience.com  

We've all been there—waiting for that apology, explanation, or "one last talk" that never really brings peace. In this episode, Lori dismantles the myth of closure and explains why the human mind—and especially the ego—becomes obsessed with resolution after loss, betrayal, or abandonment. Using psychology, neuroscience, and raw honesty, she breaks down: *Why your brain loops unfinished stories (Zeigarnik effect) and how to close them internally. *How your ego uses the need for closure to avoid vulnerability and surrender. *The link between attachment styles and craving closure. *The neuroscience of rejection and why emotional pain registers as physical pain. *How to stop negotiating with reality when you don't get answers, justice, or validation.  *Powerful techniques to self-close: somatic rituals, reality acceptance, and reframing. If you've ever said "I just need closure," this episode will change the way you think about healing forever. You'll walk away with a new understanding of how to free yourself from emotional loops, rebuild safety inside your body, and let go—without permission. Closure isn't a conversation. It's the moment you stop negotiating with reality. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience.com Let's Work Together: www.thepositivityxperience.com

Gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional neglect don't just leave scars — they leave you doubting your own instincts. Many people walk away from manipulative relationships asking, "Can I ever trust myself again?" In this episode, we explore how manipulation erodes self-trust, why trauma creates cycles of self-doubt and people-pleasing, and — most importantly — how to rebuild your confidence in your intuition. Using insights from psychology, trauma research, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), you'll learn step-by-step practices for reconnecting with your body, honoring your decisions, and setting boundaries without guilt. 🎧 What you'll learn in this episode: *The neuroscience of why manipulation breaks down self-trust. *How gaslighting and guilt-tripping condition you to override your instincts.  *The hidden role of emotional neglect and people-pleasing — and how it enables others.  *How to use micro-decisions to retrain your brain to trust yourself again. *Practices for reconnecting with your body compass and intuition. *Why resistance (guilt, fear, shame) is normal and a sign you're healing. If you've ever felt stuck in second-guessing or lost your confidence after being manipulated, this episode will give you practical steps to take back your power. 👉 Subscribe for weekly tools on empowerment, boundaries, and self-discovery. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Get the FREE Letting Go Workbook: www.thepositivityxperience.com

Do you constantly overthink, overcommit, or over-care about things that drain your energy? In this week's episode, I break down the psychology of why we care too much, what it really means to "not give a f*ck," and how to apply this mindset in a way that creates freedom — without turning cold or indifferent. We'll dive into science-backed strategies from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), cognitive reframing, and Stoic philosophy to help you stop wasting energy on what doesn't matter and start building resilience, clarity, and peace. 🎧 What you'll learn in this episode: *The neuroscience of why your brain gets stuck in over-caring. *How ACT therapy teaches you to separate thoughts from identity. *A 4-step process to apply "selective caring" in daily life. *Why resistance shows up when you try to stop giving so many f*cks — and how to push through it.  *The surprising benefits of strategically disengaging. If you're tired of burnout, guilt, or feeling pulled in a thousand directions, this episode will help you reclaim your mental bandwidth and emotional freedom. 👉 Don't forget to subscribe for weekly strategies on self-awareness, boundaries, and empowerment. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Get the FREE Letting Go worksheet: www.thepositivityxperience.com

Energy transfer is real—and it can leave you anxious, heavy, or exhausted if you don't know how to handle it. In this episode, Lori shares tools to recognize when you're carrying someone else's energy, respond with grounding and boundaries, and take back your power. Grab the companion worksheet: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's work together! www.thepositivityxperience.com  

Why do you constantly feel the need to explain yourself—even when it's not necessary? This episode unpacks the psychology of over-explaining, a hidden trauma response that often stems from people-pleasing, rejection sensitivity, shame, and nervous system dysregulation. 🎙️ In this video, you'll learn: *Why over-explaining is not clarity—it's a control response *The neuroscience behind your urge to justify everything *How unresolved childhood patterns fuel the need to "prove" yourself *What it says about your boundaries, self-worth, and energy leaks *Tangible scripts and mindset shifts to finally stop over-explaining If you're tired of feeling misunderstood, drained, or guilty for saying "no," this episode will help you break the pattern and reclaim your emotional energy. 🔔 Don't forget to subscribe for weekly episodes on self-worth, boundaries, emotional resilience, and radical acceptance. 📌 Worksheet available on Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Let's work together! www.thepositivityxperience.com 

Are excuses keeping you stuck? In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, I break down the psychology of excuses — why we use them, what they're really protecting us from, and how to call yourself out so you can finally move forward. We'll dive into: The hidden fears behind your excuses (failure, judgment, rejection). Why excuses feel safe in the moment but sabotage you long-term. How to expose the "hidden payoff" of excuses — and why you keep repeating them. A step-by-step framework to rewrite your excuses into raw truths. The cost of holding on to excuses and how to design anti-excuse actions that actually stick. Excuses are just protective lies. They don't keep you safe — they keep you stuck. This episode is direct, raw, and designed to help you face the harsh truth: it's time to stop hiding behind excuses and start taking control of your choices. 💎 Download the Patreon worksheet that goes with this episode →www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience ✨ If this hit home: Subscribe to the podcast for weekly episodes on self-awareness, boundaries, and radical acceptance. Work with me directly and get the FREE Letting Go Workbook: : www.thepositivityxperience.com

Ever walk away from a conversation more confused than when you started? That's not an accident—it's a tactic. Manipulators thrive on distortion, contradictions, and doubt because a foggy mind is easier to control. In this episode, we'll break down the psychology behind confusion tactics—how they overload your brain, trigger fear responses, and make you question your reality. You'll learn the playbook manipulators use (word salad, contradictions, selective memory, faux concern) and get clear strategies and scripts to anchor yourself in reality and shut down the fog for good. 👉 If you've ever felt mentally twisted after an argument, this one's for you. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Get the FREE Letting Go Workbook: www.thepositivityxperience.com  

Do you ever feel like someone twists your words to make you the problem? Or maybe they guilt-trip you with, "After everything I've done for you…" Or act "concerned" just to control your choices? These aren't just frustrating behaviors—these are psychological manipulation tactics designed to make you doubt yourself, feel guilty, and stay compliant. In this episode of The Positivity Xperience, we're breaking down: 🔹 Why manipulators twist your words (the psychology of control, guilt, and projection). 🔹 The 5 most common manipulation scripts: the Guilt-Tripper, the Score Keeper, and the Fake Concern Manipulator, Victim Card-Manipulator and Martyr Manipulator.  🔹 How to spot the patterns—before you get trapped in them. 🔹 Science-backed insights on why you feel guilty, why it works on your brain, and how to retrain your responses. 🔹 Scripts you can use immediately to shut down manipulation without guilt or over-explaining. ✨ You'll walk away with real-life examples, actionable tools, and mindset shifts that will help you set stronger boundaries, stop second-guessing yourself, and protect your peace. If you've ever been gaslighted, guilt-tripped, or manipulated by "fake concern," this episode will arm you with the knowledge and confidence to break free. Don't forget to subscribe to The Positivity Xperience wherever you listen to podcasts or videos for weekly deep dives into boundaries, emotional clarity, and radical self-ownership. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/thepositivityxperience Get the FREE Letting Go Workbook: www.thepositivityxperience.com

Have you ever left a conversation thinking, "That's not what I said at all"? In this episode, we dive deep into the manipulative tactic of twisting words—why people do it, the psychology behind it, and how you can protect yourself from it. You'll learn: *The science and psychology behind verbal distortion and gaslighting *How to spot when someone is twisting your words (even subtly) *Common phrases manipulators use to shift blame or control the narrative *How your nervous system reacts to manipulation—and how to keep your cool *Powerful, assertive responses that shut down word-twisting in real time Whether it's a toxic relationship, workplace politics, or family drama, knowing how to handle word-twisting is essential to protecting your peace and staying in control of your truth. 🎯 This episode gives you the tools to recognize manipulation, protect your boundaries, and speak with clarity and confidence—no matter who you're dealing with. Become A Patreon: www.patreon.com/Thepositivityxperience.com Get The Free Letting Go workbook: www.thepositivityxperience.com