The Feminist Dating Show

Here's the secret of flirting... Every single person you've ever wanted to talk to — the cute stranger on the subway, the guy at the coffee shop, the woman you keep seeing at the farmers market — is also in their head. Every. Single. One. And yet most of us walk around convinced that WE are the only ones who are awkward, anxious, and completely clueless about flirting. This week on The Feminist Dating Show, I brought in flirt coach @benjamincamras to change that story so you can feel like the confident badass you are while flirting and connecting with new cuties. In Episode 264, we cover: → What flirting actually IS (hint: it's not what you think) → The 4 flirt styles — and how to find yours → How to handle rejection without spiraling into a shame tornado → What to do when your mind goes completely blank mid-conversation → The subway flirt role play you didn't know you needed → How to flirt safely when you hold marginalized identities → The one thing to do THIS WEEK to build your flirt muscles This is not about performing. It's about becoming your most confident, authentic self — and you already have everything you need.   Follow Benjamin on: TikTok Instagram Flirtations! Podcast   Work with Lily: Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

If you've ever opened a dating app and immediately wanted to throw your phone across the room — this one's for you.   In episode 263 of the Feminist Dating Show, I'm coaching Kayla live. This episode is for you if you relate to any of this:   You open a dating app and immediately spiral into, "What if they make me uncomfortable?" or "what if I say something stupid?" You avoid swiping because judging people by their photos makes you feel like a bad person You watch your friends get matches and wonder what you're doing wrong You feel like a late bloomer, a re-entry dater, or just behind Deep down, you're afraid the real problem is that you're just not lovable...    In this episode, I help Kayla name what's underneath her dating avoidance. We name what makes dating apps so dang difficult on our brains/bodies/nervous systems (they are such a flawed tool!). AND we build a simple "if this, then that" plan for dating that soothes her anxiety. In this episode, you'll learn to swipe without abandoning yourself, without judging yourself for your attraction preferences, or without lowering your standards.   Work with Lily: Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

This one's for you if dating has started to feel like a hamster wheel of painful experiences… and you keep thinking: I've done so much work on myself—why is this still so hard?   In this live session, I coach Quinn through: the loop of type vs. essence-based preferences the fear of being "too much" in dating what to do when uncertainty triggers a full-body spiral how to tell if your "picker is broken"… or if you've been trained to assume you're the problem self-compassion as a real tool (not a pep talk) to re-regulate and come back home to yourself how to update your EBPs so you're not dating someone you have to parent or beg for affection community + dating after a big move   By the end, Quinn says it perfectly: this session felt like closing a bunch of tabs in her brain and finally having the system run again.   If you've ever been in the mindset of "it's fate or it's me," I want you to hear this.   Work with Lily: Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

Have you ever wondered if you're "too late" because dating has never worked the way it seems to work for everyone else?   My client Liz joined Main Character Dating at 38 having never been in a long-term relationship. She felt behind, alone, and unsure how to even do dating.   What shifted for Liz inside Main Character Dating was hope.   No more dating shame.   And an action plan that helped her move toward the right dates with self-trust and support.   In this episode of The Feminist Dating Show, Liz shares how dating went from something she avoided to something that finally felt possible.   In this conversation, Liz shares how: Dating went from something she avoided to something that felt possible Community helped her realize she wasn't the only one Structure and feedback helped her interrupt old patterns She started dating with clarity, courage, and direction   Her words say it best: dating feels possible now.   If you've ever thought "Is it always going to be like this?" — this one's for you.   And I also want you to know this:   Main Character Dating is open for enrollment right now. This is my year-long group coaching program for anyone who hasn't found a romantic relationship (or the right one), and wants a joyful dating life that makes the right relationship inevitable.   🗓 Doors are open until Monday, Feb 16th.   💖 Learn more and join us here: datebrazen.com/dating   No matter what, I know Liz's story will help you feel less alone—and more hopeful about what's possible for you.   Work with Lily: Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

In this episode, I'm sharing my 10 rules of feminist dating—the principles I know actually lead to an equitable, joyful partnership. No matter your past experience (or lack of experience), your age, or your sexuality, these rules are here to help you magnetize the right partner and feel amazing doing it.  These 10 rules are a response to outdated, patriarchal dating advice that teaches you to shrink, self-silence, and settle. I walk through what it means to date as the main character of your life, expect co-creation, stop doing unnecessary emotional labor, question inherited scripts, and reject the idea that you're "too late." This episode is for late bloomers, restarter daters, and anyone who wants to date with power, alignment, and self-trust—without playing games or abandoning themselves along the way.

In this episode, I'm sharing a transparent update about the podcast: why I decided to rename it The Feminist Dating Show. I talk through the intention behind the previous name, what I heard from listeners over time, and why I want the podcast name to immediately feel inclusive and clear—especially for people who are new to this work. Feminist dating has always been the value system underneath everything I teach, and this new name reflects that, while still serving the amazing late bloomers and re-entry daters we serve.  Nothing about the mission or the content is changing. This show is still for late bloomers, restarter daters, and anyone who's been taught it's too late or too much to find what they want.  Let's do this! 

If the holidays bring up nerves about being single — the questions, the pressure, the comparisons — this episode is your Holiday Dating Survival Guide. It's a warm, grounding replay packed with self-compassion, boundaries that protect your peace, and real scripts for handling conversations about your dating life. Inside, Lily shares: how to release the self-judgment we've all internalized from patriarchal socialization (that says that coupled women are "ahead" of single women) why self-compassion is the antidote to self-judgment (and how to practice it daily) three phrases from Dr. Kristin Neff's work to use when you're feeling nervous, jealous, conflicted, or despairing how to identify the desire underneath your fear so you can move forward from a grounded place what to actually say when someone asks, "So… how's your dating life going?" how to use boundaries, a self-care plan, and a joy-building plan to support yourself this season why you don't owe anyone your story — and how to practice unbothered energy how to feel less alone, even if you are the only single person in the room This episode is a reminder that no matter what happened in your love life this year, you are worthy of celebration. You get to take up space. You get to be proud of yourself. You get to feel belonging. ✨ This is the final episode of 2025. The podcast returns in January 2026. 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎧 Listen on Spotify Work with LilyRead Lily's book: Thank You, More PleaseExplore programs + resources: datebrazen.com Follow Lily everywhere: 📺 YouTube Channel 📸 Instagram 📲 Tiktok 🌐 Website

Laura sat on her dream for years. She had already moved abroad, left her marriage, rewritten her book, built a whole new life in a new country… and yet the next thing she actually wanted to build — a business supporting women after divorce — stayed in a drawer. In this conversation, you'll hear exactly how she went from: • paralyzed by fear of judgment • hiding the work she'd been doing for years • waiting to feel "ready" • thinking she "should've figured it out by now" to owning her CEO energy, talking publicly about her work, pitching her idea in real life, and getting her first clients. We break down the exact moment things clicked, the messy middle, and the main character energy skills that helped her finally do the thing. If you've been circling a dream for months, years, or a decade… this episode is going to open something up for you.   Work with Lily ✨  Main Character Life Mastermind — Applications open now.A 6-month container where you'll choose your main character project, release people-pleasing, build rock-solid self-trust, and take massive, messy action with a community that has your back. The 10-minute application will increase your main character energy on its own. Apply HERE 📚 Read my book: Thank You, More PleaseA feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love. Order HERE Follow Lily everywhere: 📺 YouTube Channel 📸 Instagram 📲 Tiktok 🌐 Website

In this episode, Abby shares her late bloomer story with so much honesty and clarity. We talk about what it was like to be in her mid-30s, never having been in a serious relationship, carrying a loud "I'm behind" and "I'm weird" narrative, and feeling totally unsure how to talk about her dating history without spiraling. Abby opens up about moving to a new city, trying to date while feeling embarrassed about her experience, and struggling with the not good enough voice that made her avoid connection. She also shares what shifted for her as she started to process shame, build community, and trust herself enough to take up more space at work, in dating, and in her daily life. Inside this episode, you'll hear: how Abby learned to identify and quiet the "I'm weird" and "I'm behind" voice how belonging helped her stop self-isolating and start connecting what helped her ask for what she wanted (down to "I need 25% more texts") how she advocated for herself at work while doing two jobs how she built friendships, community, and eventually a healthy relationship what she wishes she could tell her past self, who felt so far behind This is a powerful example of what can happen when you stop avoiding your desires and start trusting yourself enough to move toward them. Work with Lily ✨ Join the live training: Stop People-Pleasing and Build a Stupidly Joyful Life live training-- December 3rd:  Sign up HERE ✨ Apply to Main Character Life, my 6-month mastermind where Abby did this work — the space to release people-pleasing, build self-trust, advocate for what you want, and go after the life you've been circling for years. Apply HERE ✨ Get my Book — Thank You, More Please, Buy the book + grab your bonus HERE Follow Lily everywhere: 📺 YouTube Channel 📸 Instagram 📲 Tiktok 🌐 Website

If you're stuck in a spiral of overthinking — replaying conversations, asking 15 friends what to do, imagining every worst-case scenario — this episode will feel like a deep exhale. Overthinking isn't you being "careful." It's a self-trust deficit. And that is a skill gap, not a character flaw. In this episode, I break down: • Why anxious rumination feels so real and so urgent • How patriarchy, people-pleasing, and fear of rejection trained you not to trust yourself • The difference between careful planning and dress rehearsing tragedy • Why outsourcing decisions to friends keeps you stuck • What self-trust actually is (and why it's messy, imperfect, and learnable) • Tiny, doable steps to rebuild your self-trust today • How this plays out in dating, boundaries, and big life decisions • A framework to stop overthinking and start acting from your gut If you've been doubting yourself for years — in your dating life, your friendships, your career, your boundaries — this episode will teach you how to finally have your own back. Self-trust is a skill. And you're about to learn it.   Work with Lily ✨ Main Character Life Mastermind — Applications Opening soon!Sign up for my free training-- Stop People Pleasing and Build a Stupidly Joyful Life-- on Dec 3rd to be the first to apply. RSVP HERE 📚 Read my book — Thank You, More PleaseA feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love Order here: https://datebrazen.com/book Follow Lily everywhere: 📺 YouTube Channel 📸 Instagram 📲 Tiktok 🌐 Website

Feeling like the supporting character in your own story? This episode is your plot twist. We unpack Main Character Energy (MCE) as a buildable skill set—not a personality type—and show how tending to your needs heals burnout and expands your capacity to show up for the people and causes you care about. In this episode, you'll learn: The 3-part MCE framework: Permission → Self-Trust → Massive, Messy Action Why MCE isn't selfish—it's the power source that fuels your impact (both/and) The tiny tool that changes everything: 10 Seconds of Courage Five rapid-fire ideas to practice 10 seconds of courage today (self-care, belonging, shoot-your-shot) How to stop "best-friend energy" (people-pleasing, perfectionism, over-functioning) and step center stage Work with Lily Free Live Training (Dec 3): Stop People-Pleasing & Build a Stupidly Joyful Life —RSVP HERE Main Character Life Mastermind — Get details + apply (when open) or join the waitlist HERE Main Character Dating — My signature program to build a joyful, self-trust-filled dating life and attract an aligned partnership. Learn more: https://datebrazen.com/dating Get my Book — Thank You, More Please Buy the book + grab your bonus: https://datebrazen.com/book Follow Lily everywhere: 📸 Instagram 📲 Tiktok 📺 YouTube Channel Subscribe so you never miss an episode. You've got this—and I've got your back.

If you've ever found yourself doing everything right and still feeling exhausted, this conversation is for you. In this episode, Lily sits down with Maureen, a writer, educator, and book coach who transformed her life from chronic burnout and perfectionism to joyful, sustainable main character energy. They dive into: ✨ How perfectionism becomes emotional armor (and how to take it off safely). ✨ Why joy—not hustle—is the most powerful growth strategy. ✨ The role of self-celebration and community in creating a life that feels like your own. Maureen's story is a reminder that you don't have to blow up your life to change it. You just need new tools for how you treat yourself while you grow. Connect with Maureen: 🔗 narrative-drive.com 📝 narrativedriven.substack.com/ Work with Lily: 🌸 Main Character Life Mastermind — A 6-month small-group experience starting in January to release people-pleasing, build rock-solid self-trust, and become the main character of your life in 6 months or less. Get early access + bonuses: https://datebrazen.com/life Free Live Training: Stop People Pleasing and Build a Stupidly Joyful Life — December 3rd: https://datebrazen.com/joyful-life/ Get Lily's Book: Thank You, More Please HERE Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

Ever catch yourself thinking: "Am I doing enough to find love?" That question sounds productive—but it's usually fear in disguise. Fear that time's running out. Fear that what you want might never happen. In this week's episode of The Late Bloomer Show, I walk you through the 10-step "Am I Doing Enough?" checklist—the one I give my clients when they start to spiral. You'll learn how to: 💗 Practice self-compassion (so you stop hustling for worthiness) 🎯 Create your Essence-Based Preferences 💎 Bring in community and support 🎉 Celebrate yourself like it's part of the plan—because it is You don't need to "just try harder" in your dating life. You need an effective plan that prioritizes your self-trust along the way. Work with Lily: → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book → Learn more about Main Character Dating: datebrazen.com/dating → Learn how to work with Lily: datebrazen.com Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

Should you wait for the slow burn? Or chase the spark? This question keeps so many late bloomers stuck in overthinking, second-guessing, and dating people who aren't right for them. In this episode of The Late Bloomer Show, Lily breaks down the real truth about attraction and connection, including: The pros + cons of both the spark and the slow burn Why both approaches can lead to wasted time What to focus on instead (hint: curiosity > rules) How to ground yourself with Lily's Date Feedback Compass If you've ever stressed about whether you "knew" soon enough or felt enough chemistry, this episode will give you clarity and freedom. 🎧 Listen now and find out why curiosity—not binaries—is the most powerful dating tool. Work with Lily: → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book → Learn more about Main Character Dating: datebrazen.com/dating → Learn how to work with Lily: datebrazen.com Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

Dating while struggling with body image fears can feel like an impossible task. In this episode, Lily is joined by Bri Campos, LPC, and body image coach, to explore the idea of body grief—the distress and loss we feel when our bodies change—and how it impacts dating. Together they cover: → The 4 aspects of body image you need to know → Why rushing to "body love" skips over the real healing work → How fatphobia and privilege show up in dating dynamics → Practical tools to move through body grief with compassion so you can put yourself out there and find love in exactly the body you're in If you're a late bloomer who's avoided dating because of how you feel in your body, this conversation will give you the validation, tools, and hope to take your next steps. Learn about Bri's work here→ https://www.bodyimagewithbri.com/ 💥 Want more support? Start here: → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book → Learn how to work with Lily: datebrazen.com Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

In this powerful live coaching session, Lily sits down with Veronica for a live coaching session—a listener and Main Character Dating client—to explore what it really looks like to start dating again after a painful breakup…while also navigating chronic pain, a disability, and a world that often is deeply ableist. They explore: ✨ How to know if you're really ready to date again after a breakup ✨ Navigating dating apps with a disability ✨ Setting boundaries that honor your body and your bandwidth ✨ Why self-compassion is a dating strategy This episode is full permission to do dating your way. 💥 Want more support? Start here: → Main Character Dating-- closing 10/17/25: datebrazen.com/dating → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

What do late bloomers most want to know about sex? In this episode, Lily sits down with Dr. Juliana Hauser—sex therapist, TEDx speaker, and author of A New Position on Sex—to answer the top 10 questions late bloomers have about sexuality, intimacy, and pleasure. They cover everything from starting with little or no experience, to disclosing your sexual history (or lack thereof), to navigating body image, chemistry, pain, and more. Whether you're 20, 30, 40, 50+ and wondering where to start, this conversation is a must-listen. 🎧 Listen in now and discover the tools, confidence, and compassion you deserve in your sexual journey. 📖 Grab Dr. Juliana's new book A New Position on Sex: A Guide to Greater Sexual Confidence, Pleasure and Authenticity available now right HERE 💥 Work with Lily: → Main Character Dating: datebrazen.com/dating → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

If you've ever felt behind in love or life, this episode is for you. On pub day for her new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: A Guide to Overcoming Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits, Beatriz Victoria Albina joins me to talk about how to stop centering everyone else's needs at the expense of your own—and start dating with self-worth. We unpack: 💎 What "emotional outsourcing" is and why it keeps you stuck in people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependency 💎 How to reclaim your agency and desire without guilt 💎 The BRAVE framework for building self-loyalty, step by step 💎 Why being a late bloomer is often an act of brilliance—not failure Her book is out today! Go grab "End Emotional Outsourcing" wherever books are sold and start building the love life (and LIFE) that puts you back at the center. Order your copy → https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ 💥 Work with Lily: → Main Character Dating: datebrazen.com/waitlist → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

Taylor hasn't been in a relationship since she was 19. Now, at 31, after eight ghostings and countless near misses, she's wondering: "Why not me?" In her words: "Hope is scary." Because every time she's let herself hope, she's been let down—and she's started to believe maybe she's just not worth the effort. In this raw and powerful live coaching session, we unpack what's really underneath that fear—and build a brand new belief: ✨ "Massive change happens when I trust myself and advocate for myself." In this episode, you'll learn: 💎 How to move from "I know the tools" to actually feeling them work 💎 What to do when self-compassion feels completely out of reach 💎 The thought error that keeps so many late bloomers stuck in shame 💎 Why practicing hope (even when scared) is the bravest dating move you can make If you've ever felt behind, broken, or like dating is a hopeless slog—this one's for you. 💥 Work with Lily: → Main Character Dating: datebrazen.com/waitlist → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel

Becca came into this coaching session feeling stuck, frustrated, and deeply alone in her experience: "I'm 37. I've never had a relationship. It feels like I'm missing something that everyone else figured out." This episode is for the late bloomer who's never really seen their story reflected in dating advice—and is tired of wondering, "What's wrong with me?" Together, we worked through: – The fear that it's too late to have what you want – How to shift from self-blame to self-trust (without pretending it doesn't still hurt) – The exact first step to start dating from your real power Becca left with a new plan—and a very different energy. If you've ever thought "Maybe it's never going to happen," I want you to listen to this one. 🎧 The Late Bloomer Show, episode 250. Available now wherever you get your podcasts. 💥 Want more support? Start here: → Main Character Dating: datebrazen.com/waitlist → Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook → Read Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book Follow Lily everywhere: 📲 Tiktok 📸 Instagram 📺 YouTube Channel