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The Sober Friends Podcast: Two Guys Talking Recovery
Matt and Steve have been sober for over a decade each. They still don't have it all figured out.
This is a podcast about recovery - AA recovery specifically - but it's not your sponsor's recovery podcast. It's two friends talking through the stuff that actually matters:
What do you DO when you're not drinking? How do you handle control issues 15 years in? Why does calling someone in recovery feel so goddamn hard? What happens when you remove alcohol but don't replace it with anything? And seriously, do you miss drinking or do you just miss the relief?
Every week Matt and Steve work through these questions together - sometimes they have answers, sometimes they're figuring it out in real time, and sometimes they just need to talk it out like you do with a friend who gets it.
If you're in recovery, thinking about recovery, or just trying to figure out how to live without alcohol as your coping mechanism - welcome. Grab some coffee. Let's talk.
Topics: Alcoholics Anonymous, 12-step recovery, sobriety, addiction, relapse, service work, early recovery, staying sober, and everything in between.
Matt and Steve work AA programs but speak only for themselves. This show isn't affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous.
New episodes weekly at soberfriendspod.com
284 Episodes
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Send a text Matt and Steve dive deep into Dr. Silkworth's groundbreaking work on alcoholism and why understanding the medical nature of addiction changes everything. They explore a fascinating discovery: Silkworth published his "allergy theory" in a 1937 medical journal—two years before the Big Book—challenging the common AA legend about why he initially hesitated to put his name in print. The hosts discuss why the Doctor's Opinion matters less for its 1939 medical accuracy and more for what ...
Send us a text Service work in AA recovery isn't about giving back - it's about belonging, commitment, and staying sober. "I don't even drink coffee." "That's fine. You haven't been nominated to drink coffee. You've been nominated to make coffee." Steve heard this exchange at his Thursday night men's meeting, and it might be the greatest line about service work ever spoken. Because that's exactly what service work is - doing something that isn't about you, that gets you connected, that ...
Send us a text "I love to do things that will give me temporary comfort, that will make me very uncomfortable somewhere down the road." A woman with 30+ years of sobriety shared this in Steve's Wednesday meeting, and it hit hard. Because that's exactly what drinking was - temporary relief that created long-term pain. But here's the real question: when you quit drinking, what are you actually missing? In this episode, Matt and Steve dig into what happens when you remove alcohol but don't repla...
Send us a text Ever feel like you're doing everything "right" in recovery but still find yourself pissed off when things don't go your way? Steve opens up about his biggest struggle even after 15+ years sober: the control freak mindset that gets shit done but also sets him up for resentment, anxiety, and dangerous thinking patterns. In this episode, we dig into the difference between being outcome-focused (expecting specific results because you did the work) versus journey-focused (trusting t...
Send us a text It’s mid-January, the "Pink Cloud" of New Year’s resolutions has evaporated, and for many in the Northeast, we are staring down a "marathon of dark, cold, and gloomy days". In this episode, Matt and Steve get honest about the "January Gloom" and a phenomenon many newcomers face but rarely understand: Anhedonia. If you feel numb, bored, or like life has lost its "charm" since the holidays ended, you aren't doing recovery wrong—your brain is simply healing. We discuss why trying ...
Send us a text You can be sober and still have bad days — and that doesn’t mean you’re doing recovery wrong. In this episode, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it looks like to stay sober through anxiety, physical pain, holidays, and emotional discomfort. Matt shares his experience recovering from surgery, navigating anxiety, and using prescribed pain medication safely without triggering old behaviors. Steve reflects on how holidays and stress at home can still bring up difficult feelin...
Send us a text Have you ever been at a party, wedding, or holiday gathering holding a soda and felt like everyone noticed you weren’t drinking? In this episode of Sober Friends, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like to be the only sober person in the room—especially early on. They dig into why sobriety can feel uncomfortable in social settings, why it’s not really about the alcohol, and how losing that “social lubricant” can make everything feel louder and more exposed. They explo...
Send us a text Pete Axthelm once said he tried to quit drinking for three days — and couldn’t cope. He died at 47, convinced that life without alcohol wasn’t survivable. That sentence stopped me cold, because for many of us, it’s painfully familiar. In this episode, Steve and I talk about why quitting alcohol feels less like a choice and more like standing at the edge of a cliff. We explore the uncomfortable truth that for many alcoholics, alcohol wasn’t just the problem — it was the solution...
Send us a text There’s no such thing as perfect sobriety. In this episode, Matt and Steve explore why learning from mistakes is part of the process — not a failure. They talk about comparison in recovery, changing needs over time, and how wanting things to “click faster” can quietly work against us. This is an honest conversation about patience, humility, and staying willing — even when you realize you’re still a present-day alcoholic doing the work one day at a time. Support the show 📫 Get m...
Send us a text What does “rock bottom” actually look like — and do you really have to hit it before you get sober? In this episode, Matt and Steve break down the biggest myth in recovery: that you need a dramatic collapse, a lost job, a destroyed marriage, or a trip to the ER to justify getting help. We talk about how comparison keeps people stuck (“my story isn’t as bad as theirs”), why so many of us lie to ourselves about how bad things really are, and how easy it is to miss the quieter sig...
Send us a text What happens when the picture-perfect life hides a private hell? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt J sits down with Emily Redondo, author of Wife Mother Drunk: An Intergenerational Memoir of Loss and Love. Emily takes us inside her raw and unfiltered journey through addiction, motherhood, and the generational trauma that shaped her story. From pumping and dumping breast milk in rehab to uncovering family secrets that spanned decades, Emily shares what it’s like...
Send us a text What do you do when your body forces you to slow down — and your mind wants to fight it? In this week’s episode, Matt and Steve dive into the real-life struggle of acceptance after Matt was sidelined by Lyme disease. No gym, no long walks, barely enough energy to get through the grocery store. It felt like life was slipping by… and the only way forward was accepting what is. Acceptance is one of the core tools of recovery. But it’s also one of the hardest. It can feel like surr...
Send us a text Turning 50 has Matt thinking about milestones — in life, in recovery, and in all the small moments that really shape who we become. In this episode, the guys dig into what “milestones” truly mean once you’ve been around a while. Sure, the chips and anniversaries matter, but the real growth often happens in the quiet, everyday wins: making an amends, showing up for someone you love, or just staying sober for another five minutes. Matt and Steve swap stories about turning points ...
Send us a text It’s Gratitude Month — but what if you don’t feel grateful? Matt and Steve talk about the kind of week that tests your patience, your sobriety, and your sanity. From corporate layoffs and sleepless nights to plumbing issues and family stress, it was one of those weeks. But a TikTok from a man recovering from cancer shifted Matt’s perspective — a reminder that gratitude isn’t about ignoring the mess, it’s about finding peace inside it. Join the guys as they explore how gratitude...
Send us a text In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments fall apart, why intent might matter more than accuracy, and how the idea of “contempt before invest...
Send us a text ver tell yourself, “I can’t be an alcoholic — I still have a job, a house, and a family”? This week, Matt and Steve dive into the myth of the high-functioning drinker — the person who looks like they have it all together, but is quietly falling apart on the inside. We talk about how easy it is to compare our messy insides to other people’s polished outsides, why you don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to have a problem, and how the slow decline of high-functioning drinking erodes...
Send us a text It’s one of the most awkward moments in sobriety when someone offers you a drink and you are not sure what to say. Do you tell the truth, make an excuse, or try to explain yourself? Matt and Steve talk about those everyday situations where being sober still feels weird, like barbecues, work events, neighbors, and family get-togethers. They share their own stories, what to say and what not to say, how to keep it simple, and why most people do not care as much as we think they do...
Send us a text Sometimes forgiveness feels impossible, especially when you’re sure the other person doesn’t deserve it. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the messy, uncomfortable work of letting go of resentment and learning to “love on” the people who have wronged us. Inspired by CHiPs star Larry Wilcox’s story about forgiving Erik Estrada after years of bitterness, the guys talk about what forgiveness really means in recovery and how it connects to humility, prayer, and emotional so...
Send us a text Rebecca calls herself a “textbook alcoholic,” but her recovery journey is anything but ordinary. In this episode, she opens up about chasing the next big thing, hitting bottom, and finding freedom in sobriety. From navigating early recovery with overachiever energy (yes, she read the entire Big Book cover to cover) to surviving a literal hurricane without picking up a drink, Rebecca shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of staying sober. We talk about the myth of ...
Send us a text At the Big E, one of the biggest fairs in the country, I couldn’t help but notice how quickly things turned sloppy once the drinks started flowing. Being surrounded by that chaos didn’t just make me uncomfortable—it brought me back to the unpredictability and abuse I grew up with around alcohol. In this episode, Steve and I dig into why being around drunk crowds can feel so unsettling in sobriety, how our pasts shape those reactions, and the strategies we use to stay safe when ...
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