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Parenting Teenagers Untangled - Understand and Talk to Your Teenager
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Parenting Teenagers Untangled - Understand and Talk to Your Teenager

Author: Rachel Richards

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Hello, I'm Rachel Richards, former BBC Correspondent, CNBC Europe World News Anchor and mum, on a mission to make parenting teens much less stressful, and even enjoyable. 


Do you ever feel like you don’t know what you’re doing?


Firstly, have a big hug from me.


Secondly, you’re doing better than you think you are. No, really, you are. There’s too much talk about what a parent should be, and how we can optimise and perfect ourselves, and not enough about how well you’re coping in this complicated world as you hold your shizzle together.


I mean it, the most important message is that you CANNOT be perfect. You’re going to lose your rag, you’re going to get upset and say stupid things and make mistakes and hate your kids and your partner and your life from time to time.


Take it from me, if you’re going to worry about anything make it: ‘Am I being curious enough?’

Asking questions will get you everywhere as a parent of teenagers, and the place to do most of your practice is… yourself and your own thoughts and beliefs.

So, welcome, pull up a chair, drop your baggage, and make yourself comfortable. Let’s learn together.


The Podcast:


A fellow mum begged me to start my podcast because she wanted someone she trusted to help her through the teen years, and I’ll be forever grateful to her because the journey has transformed my own parenting and benefited my family beyond imagination.


Here’s the good news, this podcast is free and you can learn everything I learned just by starting at the beginning and going through every episode.


If you want to go a bit faster then scroll through and pick subjects that cover what you need right now. If you can’t find what you want then message me and I’ll tell you which one will help you most. If it’s not something I’ve covered then I’m like a dog chasing a stick, so you’ll soon get your answers.


My main aim is to help you stop trying to be perfect, or comparing yourself and your kids with others. Your only real job is to focus on getting to know the amazing people you have in your life, loving them unconditionally, and showing them you believe they can do hard things.


JOIN ME ON SUBSTACK:


For those of you who want more, or who just want to help me feel like the pebbles I have dropped in the ocean of life are making a difference, why not join my paid community? You’ll get one-to-one support and printable PDF’s that give you the top tips from each podcast episode so you have your own little, bespoke manual.


ASK ME ANYTHING: I’m very busy behind the scenes reading everything so you don’t have to, and when you subscribe you have the chance to ask me anything. If I don’t know the answer I’ll head out like an eager truffle pig, ready to snuffle out the best for you.


COMMUNITY: I’ll be offering regular extras, including tips and thoughts, that help you tune into what matters.

All of the community notes, and tips, will remain available to paid subscribers. I want to make this more about fun and less about fear.


PDF NOTES: So many listeners say they have rewound the episodes to write down notes, well now there’s no need. Paid subscribers will have a weekly, downloadable, summary of the top tips from each episode, so you don’t have to take notes.

Please let me know if there are any old episodes for which you’d like the notes. I’m very happy to supply them.


POINTERS: Ask me if there’s something you’re struggling with, I can tell you which episode is most suitable for you, because there are a lot to trawl through.

188 Episodes
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Ask Rachel anything A listener wrote to say both she and her son felt pretty stunned after he was rejected from the university he'd set his heart on. She asked for the best way to help our teenagers cope with this sort of disappointment. I thought it was a great question and a good opportunity to also look at how we parents best navigate when your teen has worked for years toward a dream - a top university place, exam results, a team, a part - and it doesn’t happen. The disappointment c...
Ask Rachel anything Knowing your values helps in parenting tweens and teens because our communication with our teenagers is based on a solid foundation. If we know why we think something matters we have clearer discussions about their behaviour and why we emphasise certain things. We're also less fragile when our teens push back and want to challenge our ideas. Often they have the same values but are coming at them from a different angle. Knowing our values helps us to find compro...
Ask Rachel anything Three years ago we were asked by a listener to discuss how we can talk to boys about influential online figures like Andrew Tate, who act both as an inspiration to achieve great things, and a lightning rod for disgruntled men who blame feminism for their ills and cheer on his particular form of aggressive misogyny. Now that Louis Theroux has shone a light on the Manosphere in his latest Netflix documentary I thought it important to dust off this old episode because the inf...
Ask Rachel anything If you’ve ever lain awake at night wondering whether you’re getting this parenting thing horribly wrong, you need to hear this conversation with surgeon and author Gabriel Weston. Gabriel is a mother of four – including tween twins – a prize‑winning writer and a working surgeon. She talks with disarming honesty about: How she parents without pretending to be endlessly patient or perfectWhy it’s okay to have limits to how much joy you get from parentingThe very real ways sh...
Ask Rachel anything There's been a dramatic increase in reports of grooming, sextortion and AI generated child sexual abuse material in recent years, and most parents believe politicans and technology companies aren't doing enough to protect kids. The UK government recently announced that makers of AI chatbots that put children at risk will face massive fines or even see their services blocked in the UK under law changes. And the French offices of Elon Musk's X were recently raided by the Par...
Ask Rachel anything Mattering is a deep human need to feel valued beyond achievements. It's something we all need, but are we getting it? The new book by Jennifer Breheney-Wallace focuses on "Mattering," discussing how societal pressures, particularly on teenagers, exacerbate this need. She emphasizes the importance of adults feeling valued at work to better support their children. Wallace suggests practical strategies like minimizing criticism, prioritizing affection, and fosteri...
Ask Rachel anything When Brooklyn Beckham publicly announced he didn't want to reconcile with his parents he was joining a painful catalogue of family stories that have gone wrong. Estrangement is reportedly on the rise in Western societies but what's behind it? Dr Joshua Coleman spends his life working with estranged parents so he sees, first hand, the main factors that can lead to it. He highlights that while emotional abuse is often cited as a cause, it's often a matter of unme...
Ask Rachel anything For all of the tips click here: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/p/how-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-body https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/how-to-get-your-kids-to-do-their?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=post%20viewer A healthy body image: Feeling happy and satisfied with your body and what it can do. An unhealthy body image: Highly self-critical, comparing their body to others and obsessing about some aspect of it. Beauty ...
Ask Rachel anything 'Early adolescence is a friendship meat grinder, and your kid will eventually find their people,' according to Megan Saxelby of Wild Feelings. But oh boy it's tough! Megan wants parents to know that using words like “dramatic” to describe genuine social pain can accidentally give us permission to dismiss their emotional reality and teach our kids that their experiences doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously. In today’s episode we explore why it hurts so much to watch...
Ask Rachel anything We want our kids to do as well as possible, so when they mess up, do dumb things, or seem to be failing, it's easy to focus on their mistakes and what they should do instead. Naomi Glover, a leading applied neuroscientist and brain health specialist, says we'd get the best out of our kids by doing the opposite; focusing on their strengths. Coming from a neurodivergent family, she truly understands the challenges faced by ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurotypes and...
Ask Rachel anything While counseling sex offenders, Anna Sonoda, LCSW learned firsthand that grooming, the prelude to child sexual abuse, is intentional, gradual, and observable. Her message to us is, we're not bad parents, we just have a skills gap and she wants to fill it. I grew up in an era of stranger danger, but the truth is the vast majority of abuse happens inside our homes, online and offline, with people our kids know. So how can we spot the signs that a predator is moving in ...
Ask Rachel anything Hint: it depends on how you define happy and successful. We all want our kids to be happy and successful but what does that mean? In today's episode, I'm joined by Giselle Goodwin, author of Can Women Really Have it All? to talk about our definitions of success and happiness, and how they impact the way we parent. In this changing landscape where what we inherit can mean more than how hard we work what expectations should we have, and what message should we be giving...
Ask Rachel anything Updated to correct the music issues at the beginning: This episode will change how you see “bad behaviour” and might just change how you see yourself, too. In this powerful conversation, with Dr Jody Carrington unpack what every parent and teacher needs to know about emotional regulation – and why you’re probably doing better than you think. In this episode, we cover: What emotional regulation really isThe “flipped lid” model and the role of the prefrontal cortexWhy ...
Ask Rachel anything I thought we'd kick off the new year with an episode on how building our own community of people we admire can dramatically change our future and break from a difficult past. In this episode, I talk with Mitchell Osmond, who transformed his life from financial instability, marital strife, and addiction to a thriving marriage, debt repayment, and personal health. Mitchell attributes his turnaround to two pivotal moments: a marital fight and a funeral that made him questi...
Ask Rachel anything The anxiety epidemic: In 2020 the UK charity Mental Health Foundation surveyed more than 2,000 children and found 50 per cent of teenagers aged 13-19 were experiencing anxiety they found hard to control. Substack notes and PDF to go with this episode: https://substack.com/@teenagersuntangled/note/c-193100671?r=2u24i0&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/p/the-rise-in-teen-anxiety Suggested books: ·&nbs...
Ask Rachel anything None of us likes blowing a fuse when our teen does something that triggers us, but we all do it at some point. Nicky asked us to discuss this topic after she felt she'd overreacted to bad feedback from her son's teachers. We know it fixes nothing and leaves us feeling worse than before, but can we keep smoothing it over with an apology? Click the link at the bottom to access all the tips from the episode and also a parent’s worksheet to help you unpack your fe...
Ask Rachel anything What's the point of fathers? Michael Ray, father and gender equality campaigner says the way they're portrayed in the media and advertising sends the impression that they are either bumbling idiots or not an important part of raising kids. It was only when Michael was left raising his daughter alone that he became conscious of how little support there is for men taking on less traditional roles in the home. He highlights the lack of representation of fathers in media and a...
Ask Rachel anything It's our connections, whether friends or partners, that make us want to get up and face our challenges every day. So when kids start a new school, college or university it's a time when friendships become the most important thing. With Phoebe about to leave for university, and Amelia recently started at a new college we thought it would be a great time to reflect on the evolving nature of friendships. In the conversation, the girls emphasize the importance of h...
Ask Rachel anything The happiess hack article by Dana Millbank: https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2025/10/24/happiness-purpose-community-contribution/ Checkout my Substack: teenagersuntangled.substack.com Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message....
Ask Rachel anything Struggling with homework battles, school stress, or understanding ADHD in your teen? In this episode I was joined by executive skills coach Sean Geraghty—author of “I’ll Do It Later”—to unpack the real challenges (and hidden strengths) of neurodivergent teens. As someone who is navigating neurodivergence at home, I found Sean's advice on executive function, school portals and building better family relationships invaluable. He gives actionable tools for e...
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Comments (2)

Paul Miller

thank you for this post. It makes great sense. As you suggested, I can apply this to my teen by starting with where curiousity lies. That sounds just a lovely thing to do, anyway.

Mar 9th
Reply

Константин Локшин

Great episode! Question 'what do you want to change for the better in your next learning year?' is so meaningful!

Jul 21st
Reply