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© 2026 REFS NEED LOVE TOO
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An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside.
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Send us a text A year can include joy and pain without destroying you. In 2025, I said goodbye to my dad—the person I called on every big news story, new tech breakthrough, or small family win—and then rebuilt my life in a way he’d love to hear about. That mix of grief and momentum shaped everything: how I left about work, how I re-built my career, and how I chose where to invest my energy. The moment the fun drained out of a private equity‑owned, corporate job and the relief that came with ...
Send us a text Ever tried to judge a play from six feet off the ground with bodies flying past and zero replays? That’s where referees live, and it’s nothing like the view from the stands. We sit down with RefReps CEO Kyle Armstrong to explore how first‑person video, multi‑angle breakdowns, and short, high‑impact modules are rebuilding the referee pipeline and reshaping sports culture from the ground up. Kyle walks us through the origin story, the tech stack, and the classroom model that put...
Send us a text Big games don’t get easier; you get better at carrying them. Ahead of my first State Cup final, I open up about nerves, preparation, and the quiet work that turns pressure into focus: fitness tuned for late sprints, gear and crew checks that prevent chaos, and a five-minute reset that keeps me in the match instead of in my head. The heart of the story is confidence earned over 1,500 matches and the decision to judge what’s in front of me, not the crowd around me. Howard Webb’s...
Send us a text We sat down with Daneen Gonçalves, founder and chief visionary officer of The Referee Advocates, to unpack a simple idea with massive impact: treat referees like an integral and supported part of your club, build clear development pathways and watch the entire matchday experience improve. Danine brings decades as a player, coach, official and leadership professional, and she’s using that experience to help clubs become great places for referees to work and grow. We dig into th...
Send us a text Tired of holding your flag up for Offside, while the whole sideline screams “REF!”? We go straight at the problem and bring on engineer and referee Sam Rall, the creator of RareBit Offcial buzzer flags. He shows how a simple haptic signal can transform crew communication, reduce chaos, and keep matches flowing. David opens with the bigger picture—why innovation in referee education meets resistance from comfortable committees—and then we zoom into the design and decisions...
Send us a text The whistle isn’t the hard part. It’s the noise around it—sidelines boiling over, subtle bias that undermines authority, and those early games where one bad interaction can end a career before it starts. We sit down with rising official Mia Clark to talk about staying in the game, building real confidence, and why supporting women on the whistle changes everything. Mia traces her path from a 14-year-old assistant learning the lines in the rain to assignments in the USLW and hi...
Send us a text Grief has a way of focusing the lens on what actually matters: how someone lived, how they treated those who couldn't fight back, and what they stood for even when it was unpopular. My dad never reffed, but he taught me everything about making life’s hardest decisions—kindness first, integrity always, and the courage to do the hard right thing when it counts. We trace a life well lived: European trips, science missions to Alaska and Hawaii, a deep love of national parks, and a...
Send us a text Landing my dream job as Director of Referee Programming and Development at SoCal Soccer League marks the culmination of a four-year journey that began when I started the Refs Need Love Too channel as a joke in 2021. What started as an escape from corporate burnout has transformed into a full-time opportunity to improve referee development across the largest soccer league in America, with over 4,400 teams and 40,000 players. This career shift represents everything I've been wor...
Send us a text What does it take to officiate at the highest level of world soccer? Matthew Conger, who refereed at both the 2018 and 2022 FIFA World Cups, pulls back the curtain on the journey from grassroots to elite officiating in this fascinating conversation. Growing up as a goalkeeper in Georgia before eventually representing New Zealand on the international stage, Conger's unique path provides rare insights into what truly separates good referees from great ones. "Positioning and move...
Send us a text What if the secret to transforming youth soccer wasn't silencing parents, but engaging them properly? In this eye-opening conversation, Skye Eddy, founder of SoccerParenting.com and "The Sideline Project" challenges the conventional wisdom about "crazy soccer parents" and reveals a path forward that benefits everyone in the youth sports ecosystem. The narrative that parents are the worst part of youth sports has dominated for too long. Skye argues that while the truly problema...
Send us a text What separates great referees from good ones isn't just knowledge of the laws—it's emotional intelligence. This deeply personal episode explores the challenging balance of life as a sports official while introducing a powerful mental framework called the "Let Them" theory from Mel Robbins." We begin with an intimate look at the struggle to balance a demanding marketing career, family transitions, and referee responsibilities. As my two oldest children prepare to leave fo...
Send us a text Ever wonder why soccer fields seem to ignite emotions like few other places? In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Ryan Martin – known as the Anger Professor – reveals the perfect psychological storm that makes pitches emotional pressure cookers. Dr. Martin challenges our fundamental understanding of anger, explaining it's not inherently negative but rather a signal of perceived injustice or goal-blocking. On the soccer field, this manifests when calls feel unfair or when some...
Send us a text Soccer's law book undergoes a mini-revolution with the 2025-2026 Laws of the Game, and referee Leland Grant, National Referee Coach and Umpiro founder, breaks down the four most significant changes poised to transform how matches unfold across all levels of play. The first major change introduces a powerful new tool for match officials: the captain-only zone. When surrounded by multiple players, referees can now signal for a four-meter exclusion zone where only the designated ...
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Send us a text Ever wonder how to stay passionate while juggling multiple demanding roles? This candid episode dives into the reality of balancing life as a referee, business professional, content creator, and parent during an especially hectic season. David shares his journey through a particularly intense period—working full-time in sales and marketing for Hip Hues, running Refs Need Love Too, and preparing for his daughter's high school graduation while managing to referee challenging mat...
Send us a text Ever wondered what it takes to officiate at the collegiate level? John Collins, the National Coordinator of Men's and Women's Soccer Officials for the NCAA, pulls back the curtain on a world that represents both challenge and opportunity for advancing referees. With college soccer now boasting the largest officiating pool in NCAA sports—over 5,380 registered officials—Collins reveals the pathways to breaking into this level. "If you're working at the top youth level and at the...
Send us a text What does it take to excel as a defender when you don't fit the physical prototype? Michael Parkhurst, who captained Atlanta United to their 2018 MLS Cup victory, reveals how his mind became his greatest strength on the soccer pitch. "My brain was my biggest asset," Parkhurst explains, detailing how he compensated for lacking the traditional center back qualities of height, strength, and aerial prowess. This mental approach not only fueled his remarkable professional career bu...
Send us a text Have you ever wondered how the best soccer referees reach the pinnacle of their profession? For national referee Bowen Taylor, the answer lies in stepping out of your comfort zone and traveling to officiate matches across the country. At just 25 years old, Bowen has already achieved what many referees dream of – earning his national badge and working professional matches in leagues like USL Championship and MLS Next Pro. His secret weapon? Using travel as a catalyst for growth...
Send us a text The soccer referee uniform has become an unexpected battleground where tradition, practicality, and safety collide. Drawing from over 11 years and 1,300 matches of experience, I share my frustration with the often unreasonable uniform standards imposed on grassroots referees that sometimes compromise their health and wellbeing. Despite US Soccer officially approving hats as part of the referee uniform, many senior officials still pressure referees to forego this essential sun ...
Send us a text What happens when we normalize abuse toward the most vulnerable members of our sports community? David Gerson, host of Refs Need Love Too, joins attorney Ben Glass on the Renegade Lawyer podcast to tackle one of youth sports' most pervasive problems—referee abuse and its devastating impact on officiating retention. This raw, revealing conversation explores the alarming statistics: we've lost over 30% of certified soccer referees since 2019, with 80% of new officials quitting w...
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