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The Be a Better You Podcast (formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast) is hosted by Best Selling Author and Certified Rapid Reprogramming™ Coach, Allison K. Dagney. As a young adult, I met a man who I believed was the love of my life. We got married quickly and brought three kids into the world. But something was wrong. I was miserable. And I blamed myself for all the problems in our marriage. What I didn't know, was that I was being emotional abused by who I believe is a narcissist. I decided it was time to break free and step into the person I was always meant to be — confident and free to live the life I’ve always imagined.
I escaped, and I turned my personal story of transformation into a memoir. And now I coach women all over the world to help them transform their pain into empowerment, experience peace and joy, and start living life like never before.
213 Episodes
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Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you’ve ever felt like you’ve done the work to move on from a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship—but something still lingers—this episode is for you. In this powerful conversation, we’re breaking down the “ick” that won’t go away… the emotional residue that stays in your thoughts, your body, and your sense of self long after the relationship has ended. You’ll learn why healing from emotional abuse isn’t just about time or mindset, but a...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Have you ever looked back at a relationship and wondered, How did I stay so long when I knew something wasn’t right? In this episode, we’re unpacking a powerful truth that many people struggle to admit: intelligence does not protect you from toxic relationships. In fact, the very qualities that make someone thoughtful, capable, and self-aware can sometimes keep them stuck longer. We explore why smart, self-aware people often stay in unhealthy or...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you’ve ever thought, “I could write a book about my life…” but don’t know where to start—this episode is for you. In this powerful conversation, I sit down with author and storytelling coach Heather Hutzel, who has written over 20 books and spent the last two decades mastering the art of storytelling. We dive into what actually makes a story compelling—not just something that happened, but something people feel and can’t put down. Heather bre...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Venting can feel good in the moment—but what if constantly talking about your pain is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, we’re diving into the hidden dangers of co-rumination—the cycle of repeatedly discussing problems, betrayal, stress, or emotional wounds with others in a way that reinforces pain instead of helping you heal. While validation and support are important, constantly rehashing the same experiences can strengthen ruminatio...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond In this powerful episode of The Be a Better You Podcast, we dive deep into neurodivergence, neuroplasticity, and what it truly means to work with your brain instead of against it — especially when you're recovering from emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, or toxic relationships that made you believe something was fundamentally wrong with you. What we cover: What neurodivergence really means — and why it may describe far more of us than tradit...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Imposter syndrome after emotional abuse looks like doubting your memory. Minimizing what happened. Feeling dramatic for having boundaries. Questioning whether it was “really that bad.” In this episode, we unpack how emotional abuse and trauma conditioning create deep self-doubt — and why you feel like an imposter in your own story. You’ll learn: • How other people's voices rewire your perception • Why people-pleasing fuels imposter syndrome •...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Have you ever walked away from a relationship wondering how you became so confused, reactive, or unsure of yourself? In this episode, we unpack why so many emotionally intelligent, self-aware people end up questioning their own reality in unhealthy relationships—and why that doesn’t mean anything was wrong with you. You’ll learn how emotional inconsistency, mixed signals, and subtle invalidation can slowly erode self-trust, leading you to intern...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond In this episode of the "Be A Better You Podcast," we're diving deeper into the journey of breaking trauma bonds, offering advanced strategies and practical tools for healing. Building on discussions about identifying and challenging harmful beliefs, this episode focuses on actionable steps to reprogram the mind, foster self-compassion, and establish healthy boundaries. We'll begin by exploring specific techniques for reprogramming the mind...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond After emotional abuse, it’s common to either distrust everyone or to rely too heavily on words, promises, and explanations. In this episode, we talk about how to rebuild discernment by learning how to read people accurately—through patterns of behavior rather than intention or language. We explore why accepting what someone says over what they consistently do often leads to confusion and self-doubt, and how emotional abuse conditions people to o...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Many people don’t relate to the word abuse—not because nothing happened, but because emotional control often doesn’t look dramatic, obvious, or cruel. In emotionally abusive or controlling relationships, the most damaging patterns are often subtle, gradual, and reinforced in ways that are easy to miss while you’re in them. In this episode, we explore the subtle signs of emotional control that don’t look like abuse, including how conditioning, se...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Leaving an emotionally abusive or toxic relationship doesn’t always bring the relief you expect. For many people, the trauma bond actually feels stronger after it’s over—bringing increased rumination, anxiety, longing, and confusion that can make you question yourself and your decision. In this episode, I explain why trauma bonds often intensify after you leave, what’s happening in your nervous system during this phase, and why this reaction has...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If you’ve ever caught yourself missing someone who made you anxious, small, or constantly on edge… this episode is for you. Because what you’re feeling is withdrawal, not a personal flaw. After emotionally unsafe, narcissistic abuse, or abusive relationships, the nervous system gets conditioned to extreme highs and lows. A few good days followed by sudden blowups. Relief after tension. Chaos mistaken for chemistry. And when it ends, your body do...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Two hundred episodes in, certain truths become impossible to ignore. After years of conversations, client work, and pattern-spotting, one thing is clear: people don’t struggle because they lack insight, discipline, or desire to change. They struggle because their nervous systems are overloaded — and most healing tools ask for effort at the exact moment capacity is lowest. In this milestone episode, I’m sharing what 200 episodes have taught me ab...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Dating after emotional abuse isn’t about learning better lines or spotting red flags faster. It’s about understanding what gets activated inside you when intimacy returns. In this episode, I sit down with Tina Joy, and we go far beyond surface-level dating advice. We talk about what really happens when someone starts dating again after a narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationship—and why so many people feel confused, triggered, or af...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Ever notice how motivation feels strong for about two weeks and then suddenly disappears? If you’ve ever told yourself “I just can’t stick to things” or “I always fall off,” this episode is going to flip that belief on its head. Because the truth is — your problem isn’t discipline, consistency, or commitment. It’s your nervous system. In this episode, we’re breaking down why willpower always fails, especially after emotional stress, burnout,...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Welcome to The Be A Better You Podcast, where I am exploring empowering women to break through their subconscious blocks that hinder personal growth and success. In this episode, we explore the hidden barriers that hold us back, from fear-based blocks and resistance to change to unresolved emotions. Through a guided visualization exercise, listeners will visualize their specific blocks and tap into their innate wisdom to find personalized soluti...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond The New Year is soon! So let's dive in to being a Better You. Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in life — spinning your wheels, starting over and over but never following through? Maybe you’ve tried to eat healthier, save money, be a better partner, or show up as the mom you want to be… but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick with it. That constant cycle of starting, failing, and feeling like you’re not enough can leave you...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond Free Starter Pack with "how to truly stay no contact" https://www.radiatenrise.com/survivor-starter-pack It’s officially Hoover Season — that magical time of year when toxic exes suddenly remember you exist and send a “Merry Christmas ❤️” text that derails your entire night. If you’ve ever felt your heart drop, your stomach twist, or your brain spiral from one message… this episode is for you. We’re breaking down why narcissists and emotionally ...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If the holidays hit you harder than any other time of year, you are not alone — and nothing is wrong with you. In this episode, we’re digging into why December activates old emotional wounds, resurfaces trauma you thought you healed, and pulls you back into patterns, people, and feelings you’ve outgrown. We break down what I call the Holiday Regression Effect — the way your nervous system remembers past experiences, holiday chaos, old relationsh...
Leave a text or voice message so we can respond If December turns you into everyone’s emotional paramedic, this episode is your intervention. We’re unpacking the Holiday Savior Complex, that sneaky trauma-driven pattern where you over-function, over-give, manage everyone’s moods, smooth over conflict, and basically try to save the entire holiday season from falling apart. And yes… we’re going there with adults and kids. I’m breaking down why survivors of emotional and narcissistic abus...
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