The Real Reason

Too tired to have sex? What if your body is trying to warn you about something?Dr Caroline has seen patients so exhausted that they've fallen asleep at traffic lights. Yes, while driving.Scary? Absolutely.And here's what worries me more.We've become so used to being exhausted that we barely question it anymore.We wake up tired. Drink coffee to stay awake. Push through another 12-hour workday. And by the time we get home, we're too exhausted to do anything else.But what if your tiredness isn't normal?In this episode of The Real Reason, I sit down with Dr Caroline to explore why so many of us feel tired ALL THE TIME, even after a full night's sleep.And some of the things she told me shocked me.Did you know that your iron levels, thyroid, hormones and even digestive health could play a role in how exhausted you feel?We get into:Waking up exhausted: Why do you still feel tired after 8 hours of sleep?Hidden causes of fatigue: Could low iron, nutrient deficiencies or thyroid problems be affecting your energy?Bloating and gut health: Why can your stomach look flat in the morning but four months pregnant by noon?Acid reflux: What happens when you keep ignoring persistent heartburn?Exercise: Why do some people feel worse AFTER working out?Burnout: What happens when you're still working at 10 or 11 PM?Sex and intimacy: Why are so many of us too tired to even think about sex?And then Dr Caroline tells me something that made me laugh.Stop working at 5 PM. In Singapore?! 😂But behind that advice is a serious conversation about how we work, how we live, and what happens when we keep pushing our bodies beyond their limits.Because being tired is common. But that doesn't mean persistent exhaustion should be ignored.If you've been waking up exhausted, struggling with low energy, or telling yourself that being tired is just part of adult life, this episode is for you.The question is: Are you tired because of your lifestyle, or is there something else going on?Watch the full episode of The Real Reason with Dr Caroline.IMPORTANT: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It's not medical or professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for advice specific to your situation.Follow us:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theshulinleeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.podLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-real-reason==00:00 Opening01:33 Normal tiredness vs. something’s wrong04:39 Food coma, low iron, and thyroid05:45 What burnout really is08:07 What burnout becomes pathological10:18 Bloated by noon - The adrenal-gut connection 12:43 Increasing your protein in your diet14:27 Bad breath can start in your gut 16:24 Acid reflux and what antacids cost you19:15 Your gut and your mood 21:16 How much coffee is too much?23:57 The corporate detox 26:30 Supplements worth taking 29:09 Dr Caroline’s exercise routine 32:17 How often should you poop?33:25 Final takeaways

Why can losing a friendship hurt just as much as losing a romantic relationship?When I parted ways with my co-founder, I also lost a friendship of 12 years.It was one of the most painful things I've been through. But I minimised it. It wasn't a divorce. It wasn't romantic. So why did it hurt so much?Janet Phang is a clinical psychologist and for over 20 years she's helped people untangle their sense of self from everyone else's opinion of them. In this final part of our 4-part series, we talk about unmet emotional needs, how to validate ourselves, people pleasing and boundaries. And the painful friendship breakups nobody prepares you for.So I asked Janet the questions I don't usually say out loud.Why do we only feel good about ourselves when someone else tells us we're doing well?Why does a friendship breakup feel like it doesn't count?And how do you actually grieve something you're not supposed to grieve?Something Janet said made me look at friendship breakups differently.Maybe we need to stop ranking our relationships. A friendship doesn’t matter less simply because it wasn’t romantic. If we valued someone deeply, losing them is going to hurt deeply too.In this episode, we discuss:Why external validation feels more powerful than validating ourselvesThe real reason people-pleasing starts, and where it crosses into losing yourselfWhy friendship breakups deserve the same grief as a divorceIs there a "right" way to get closure after a relationship ends?Why saying "I'm okay" when you're not becomes a disused skillSelf-compassion vs self-indulgence, and why they're not the same thingHow to teach your kids to validate themselves without becoming overconfidentThe lie we've all been sold about "having it all"I still catch myself comparing my life with others.If you do that too, this one's for you.We're not meant to have it all. We're meant to do enough.New to the series? Watch:Part 1: How to Not Screw Up Your Kids (A Clinical Psychologist Explains) | Janet PhangPart 2: Why I Went For Therapy | Clinical Psychologist Janet Phang shares The Truth About TherapyPart 3: The Dying Never Regret Working Harder. They Regret This | Clinical Psychologist: Janet PhangFollow us:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.podLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-real-reasonDISCLAIMERThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for advice specific to your situation.Episode chapters:00:00 Opening01:57 Shulin’s nightmare: Am I doing okay?05:40 When caring becomes people-pleasing08:23 Friendship breakups & finding closure10:44 Losing a 12-year friendship13:58 The first step after a breakup16:18 “I’m okay”: Why we stop feeling18:30 Compliments vs self-validation22:30 Helping kids self-validate24:18 Finite beings with infinite demands

One word triggered an entire country."Hungry."It made headlines in Singapore, Malaysia, and Hong Kong. I filmed a response video to explain what I meant.It made everything worse.For months, I was the woman who insulted her own country.So I asked Georgina Chang to analyse that video with me in front of a live audience. Back at Mediacorp, Georgina rose to Vice President of English Radio, then headed The Celebrity Agency, where her job was, quite literally, turning personalities into stars, names like Zoe Tay and Joanne Peh among them. If anyone was going to tell me the truth about what I got wrong, it was her. She did not go easy on me.She told me why my response video failed before she even finished watching it. She told me about the time someone sabotaged her on camera, and what she did in the ten seconds after. She told me about lying to a nightclub DJ early in her career, and why that lie taught her more about presence than any coaching session since. She gave me a test she uses to find out if someone actually has "it".And she told me never to respond when I’m emotional. You can’t put out a fire while you’re still on fire.She also shared her thoughts on AI and the future of work. The people who get noticed, remembered and promoted won’t necessarily be the smartest people in the room. As AI takes on more of the technical work, how well you communicate and connect with people will matter even more. AI can’t sit there and speak for you, and it can’t network for you either.If you’re working towards a promotion, building a name for yourself or wondering whether you’re one restructuring away from being cut, this episode is for you.We talked about:Why "just be yourself" is the worst advice you'll ever getThe three things that make someone a weak public speakerWhat I actually got wrong, on camera, liveThe Starbucks test Georgina uses to spot real presenceWhy you should never respond to anything while you're emotionalWhy what people say about you says more about them than youWhy staying invisible at work could get you cut firstThe one trick that makes people remember youThis episode isn't really about my worst week. It's about your next one. The one where you're in the room, and someone's deciding whether they remember you or not.Follow us:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theshulinleeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.podLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shulinlee/To everyone who showed up for the live recording, thank you!P.S. Grateful to Arcc Spaces and the team at LFG Content Co. for partnering with us on the live recording. Thank you!Episode Chapters:00:00 Opening02:02 Should You “Be Yourself”?05:20 The Triple V: Visual, Vocal, Vibe13:13 "80% of the Room Doesn't Know Your Name"17:39 Shulin's Viral "Hunger" Saga28:47 How to Respond to Backlash the Right Way36:59 Georgina's Worst Career Comments39:51 Dealing With Haters43:48 3 Signs of a Weak Public Speaker48:33 Fear of Speaking Up in Meetings54:30 Should You Do Media & Podcast Interviews?58:18 Gravitas for Men vs Women01:01:50 What is Executive Presence? 01:03:25 How to Approach a Celebrity01:08:19 Accent, Enunciation & Being Understood01:12:15 Final Advice on Visibility & Being Seen

Not one dying patient ever told her they wished they'd worked harder.I've thought about that a lot since.Janet Phang is a clinical psychologist. For over 20 years she's sat with people at their lowest, including the dying. We talk about success, self-worth, burnout, and why nothing ever feels like enough.For years I kept score. My PSLE. My L1R5. My university. My law firm. My billable hours. My revenue.My husband gave me a trip for my 40th. I filled it with KPIs. Rushed from yoga to the spa so the holiday felt productive.Then three years ago my revenue took a big dip. It hit hard. And it asked the question I'd spent a whole career dodging. If I'm not my achievements, who am I?So I asked Janet what most of us never say out loud. Why does success feel so empty? And why is it never enough?In this episode, we discuss:Why success never feels like enoughSelf-worth vs self-esteem, and why the difference mattersWhy men take retrenchment harder than womenWhy jealousy is a good thingWhy social media makes you feel like you're losingThe everyday question that shapes your worth without you noticingThe one thing Janet's dying patients regret mostI still work after my kids are asleep so I feel like I've done enough.If you do that too, this one's for you.Nobody dies wishing they'd worked more.So why do we live like they will?Follow us:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theshulinleeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.podLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shulinleeDISCLAIMERThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional for advice specific to your situation.Episode Chapters:00:00 Opening01:31 High achievers & self-worth03:01 Retrenchment and the loss of identity04:53 Why men take retrenchment harder than women07:00 What dying patients actually regret 08:27 Shulin’s Phuket holiday story 09:24 How to untangle from work-defined success13:04 Why other people’s success feels like our failure15:56 Social media & comparison 17:34 Has social media made anxiety worse? 19:52 The antidote to “never enough” 25:39 Final takeaways

Your CPF can be $4 million.That's what Christopher Tan told me, and he manages $1.8 billion.Part 2 is here. (Haven't watched Part 1? Start there: https://youtu.be/EKPqiYOiTbw)In Part 1, I told you how my husband and I lost thousands before we worked out the basics. Those mistakes were my tuition fees.Even after I knew what not to do, I still had no idea what to do.Twenty insurance policies. A CPF account I'd logged into maybe twice, and never understood how to actually use.So I sat down with Chris and asked him to explain money from zero.His firm is the only one in Singapore paid a flat fee, never a commission. No product to push. No reason to lie.I asked him: what's the perfect money plan for an ordinary Singaporean?It's not investing that makes you rich. It's your surplus. Investing just helps you stay rich.In this episode, you'll learn:How the CPF Special Account pays 4 to 5%, near risk-freeThe 1M65 strategy: how a couple can hit $1 million by 65Why he has never invested a single cent of his own CPFIf even Warren Buffett can't beat the market, what should you do?The first thing to fix if you're living payday to payday (hint: it's not investing)You'll have a plan you can start this week.This is a conversation, not financial advice. Your situation is your own.==DISCLAIMERThis conversation is for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute financial advice tailored to your individual circumstances. Before making any financial decisions, please consult with a qualified financial adviser who understands your personal situation. Past performance does not guarantee future results. Christopher Tan's views are his own and do not represent personalized recommendations for your specific financial situation.ABOUT CHRISTOPHER TANChristopher Tan is the CEO of Providend, Singapore's first fee-only wealth advisory firm. He manages $1.8 billion in assets under management (AUM) and built his business around one simple idea: what if financial advisers only got paid to give advice, not to sell products?That model lets him say what other advisers can't. And in this conversation, he does.Follow us:Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/theshulinlee⁠Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the.real.reason.pod⁠LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/shulinlee⁠==Episode Chapters:(00:00) Opening (02:01) Why Chris has never invested his CPF(03:39) The biggest CPF myth(07:40) OA to SA: Can you move money to earn higher interest?(10:50) What actually happens to your CPF at 55?(15:14) What should a 25 year old do? (19:54) 1M65: $1million in CPF by 65(21:50) Chris’ advice for Shulin (26:45) Start here before you even think about investing(28:30) Is it still safe to invest with wars, tariffs, and AI disruption?(30:22) Insurance 101(35:10) Should you invest in gold?(38:27) Property as an investment(43:08) ETFs explained (44:18) Stock picking vs ETFs(50:10) When couples disagree on money (55:13) Q&As from listeners(59:56) Your surplus makes you rich, not investments