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Securely Attached

Author: Dr. Sarah Bren

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Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between.

Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.

And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We're answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the "rules."

From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.

About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode I talk about...   - How to handle Halloween candy without guilt, power struggles, or micromanaging. - Strategies for finding that balance between restricting sweets while also allowing your child to enjoy the fun of the holiday. - Why your own food anxieties might be showing up more than you realize — and how not to pass them on. - How to use this as an opportunity to build trust, awareness, and healthy boundaries. - Practical ways to help kids build awareness, self-control, and a healthy relationship with food that lasts long after Halloween.   If your feeling overwhelmed about just how you're going to approach trick-or-treating this year, this episode will help you cut through the noise, manage your own worries, and approach this holiday with more confidence.     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:   Check out my website: drsarahbren.com  Follow me on Instagram: @drsarahbren      REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter   🎧 Collaboration over control: Using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon   🔗Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.       CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how can I help your child feel less scared of Halloween?   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if you're giving in too much and becoming permissive 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if you have a kid who would never stop eating if you don't restrict their food intake      WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Chelsea Skaggs is here to talk about how couples can keep your romantic relationship strong as you move beyond from early stages of survival mode deeper into parenthood.   Together we explore:   How the demands of parenting shift as your children grow, and what that means for your romantic connection. Tips for getting your partner on board if only one of you feels ready to work on deepening your connection. Simple and practical strategies for attuning to your partner and "reading" the room for your best chance of success feeling a deepened connection. Navigating mismatched energy levels and intentions so bids for connection aren't thwarted. A power tool anyone can implement right away that can be help you to break out of reactive patterns. How your own nervous system regulation can be a starting point for closeness, including what polyvagal theory teaches us about this. Addressing resentment as a signal of unmet needs—and how to get to the root rather than staying stuck in this toxic loop. Why it's essential to focus on what's within your control and give yourself permission to care for yourself, instead of blaming your partner for meeting their needs.   If you're ready to move beyond just getting through the day and reconnect with your partner in a deeper way, this conversation is for you.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.postpartumtogether.com/   🎧 57. Sex after baby: How to reconnect and increase intimacy with your partner with Chelsea Skaggs   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 59. Sex after baby part II: When we want to want it but we're just touched out   🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton   🎧 148. Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience, with Seth Porges   🎧 115. Q&A: Can you get stuck in a state of fight-or-flight?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - Why some children are more sensitive to teasing, how temperament plays a role, and why those kids are often more likely to be targeted by peers. - How all three hosts, as therapists and parents of sensitive boys, handle teasing and social stress with their own children, including what has helped and what we had to learn the hard way. - What kids mean when they talk about "rage baiting," how this behavior shows up in friendships, and why it is especially dysregulating for sensitive children. - Whether a "toughen up" approach ever helps sensitive kids, and what Dr. Sarah learned when her husband's advice to their son worked better than her own. - How children can learn coping skills for teasing, including when to walk away, when it might be okay to engage, and how to tell the difference.   If your child takes teasing to heart and you worry about how to help without minimizing their feelings, this episode will help you support your sensitive child with more confidence, clarity, and connection.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising sensitive, "spicy," or highly emotional children   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating peer rejection in early adolescence     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Author of Indistractable, Nir Eyal, is here to reshape the way we think about attention, willpower, and the forces that pull our minds in a thousand different directions.   Together we explore:   - The surprising science showing that internal triggers (not technology) drive most of our daily distractions. - How stress, boredom, overwhelm, and discomfort quietly shape our habits (and our kids'). - Nir's simple 4-step framework for becoming "indistractable." - What parents can do to model healthy tech habits without constant nagging, power struggles, or guilt. - How to help kids build executive functioning skills like focus, follow-through, and frustration tolerance. - A scheduling hack families can use to reduce battles and increase connection. - The small mindset shifts that turn everyday moments of distraction into opportunities for growth.   If you've ever found yourself checking your phone without thinking, losing time to endless tasks, struggling to stay present with your child, or worrying about how screens are affecting your family, this episode offers clarity, practical tools, and a completely new way to approach focus and intentionality — for both you and your kids.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Nir Eyal  📚 Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life 📚 Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products   FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱X: @nireyal & LinkedIn: Nir Eyal  📱IG: @drsarahbren    ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person services for kids who live locally and virtual coaching support for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best response to kids who constantly say, "I'm bored"?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - Why toddlers often get intensely attached to a single outfit and why this kind of rigidity is usually a totally normal part of development. - How to understand the difference between a sensory preference, a sensory processing challenge, and everyday toddler stubbornness. - What "system load" is and why kids become more rigid when they are navigating stress, transitions, or big developmental leaps. - How to reduce morning battles by planning ahead, building flexibility skills, and getting curious about what is really driving your child's resistance. - What to do on the days when nothing works, including how to ride out meltdowns with less guilt and more grounded presence.   If you are struggling with daily clothing standoffs or wondering whether your child's rigidity means something is wrong, this episode will help you make sense of what is developmentally typical, when to consider sensory support, and how to navigate tough moments with more confidence and clarity.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your toddler with Devon Kuntzman 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode on how to mindfully parent a threenager 🎧 Listen to my podcast on understanding your child's sensory processing experiences with The OT Butterfly Laura Petix 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode on strengthening your child's distress tolerance     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Saumya Dave, psychiatrist, mental health advocate, and author of the new novel The Guilt Pill, joins me this week for a conversation about the emotional load so many mothers carry that can shape our choices, our identity, and even how we see ourselves as parents.   Together we explore:   - The surprising truth that guilt isn't always bad and how to recognize when it's actually trying to tell you something important. - How cultural expectations and "good girl" conditioning quietly shape the way mothers judge themselves, often without realizing it. - What happens when we try to shut off difficult emotions, and why numbing guilt can create more challenges than it solves. - Why Dr. Saumya chose fiction to explore the emotional undercurrents of motherhood and how storytelling reveals truths we rarely say out loud. - What kids learn from the way we relate to guilt and how parents can model a healthier, more grounded approach. - Small shifts that can loosen guilt's grip and help you reconnect with the messy, joyful moments right in front of you.   If you've ever felt weighed down by the pressure to be a "perfect" parent, struggled with the inner critic that tells you you're not doing enough, or simply want a deeper understanding of where mom guilt comes from and how to soften its impact, this episode will give you clarity, validation, and tools to support your emotional wellbeing.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Saumya Dave  📚 The Guilt Pill: A Psychological Thriller of Motherhood and Ambition     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@saumyajdave  📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs.   📚 To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode fighting against the pressure to be perfect with Gayane Aramyan   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether one mom's guilt over being a working mom is hurting her parenting   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how mentally strong people handle life's up's and downs with Amy Morin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   - Why the fear that no one will come to your child's birthday party feels so intense for parents and why that reaction is rooted in real neuroscience. - Ways to ground yourself so you can support your child with clarity instead of panic. - Strategies for planning a birthday celebration that feels safe, joyful, and truly right for your child, whether that means a small gathering, a special outing, or something completely different. - How to partner with teachers, other parents, and your community to help your child form more meaningful connections. - What to do if disappointment still happens and how to validate your child's feelings without getting stuck in them.   If you are worried about your child feeling left out, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence so you can show up with grounded support and help your child feel understood and connected.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🎧 Why birthdays are so hard for your kid and what parents can do about it 🎧 Listen to my podcast interview with Dr. Yael Schonbrun  👉🏻Why the brain registers the pain of social rejection the same way as physical pain      CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle peer rejection in toddlerhood 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in early adolescence  🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Clinical psychologist, educational leader, and author of Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation, Dr. Doug Bolton, joins me this week to unpack the rising levels of anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm we're seeing in kids today.   Together we explore:   - How changes in education starting in the 90s have intensified academic pressure for kids of all ages. - Why school avoidance, perfectionism, and burnout are rising, even among high-achieving students. - The neuroscience behind why rigor, overscheduling, and constant output make it harder for kids to access curiosity, regulation, and real learning. - How expectations have shifted, and why many kids simply aren't developmentally ready for what schools now demand. - Realistic, achievable ways to build rest, connection, and resilience into daily family life. - Small shifts parents can make at home to buffer their child's stress, protect their mental health, and restore balance.   If your child is melting down after school, anxious about grades, overwhelmed by homework, or feeling weighed down by pressure to perform, this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and give you practical tools to support their wellbeing.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Dr. Doug Bolton  📚Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools, and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@douglasabolton  📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 If your child is feeling overwhelmed by school demands, struggling with executive functioning, or showing signs of anxiety or burnout, you don't have to navigate this alone. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about our therapy and coaching services designed to help kids and families move through these challenges with clarity and support.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel less academic pressure   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle school refusal    🎧 Listen to podcast episode about the myths of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - What is actually happening when your toddler cries over every little thing, from dropped toys to leaving the playground. - Why saying "don't cry" often backfires, and what actually helps shorten the crying instead. - The simple validation strategy that calms big feelings faster, even when every part of you wants the tears to stop. - How to model emotional regulation by moving forward without ignoring your child or shutting their feelings down. - When to offer empathy, when to add a little distraction (and why the order you do this really matters!) for helping toddlers build resilience.   If your child seems to dissolve into tears at the smallest frustration, this episode will help you understand the developmental reasons behind all that emotion and give you practical, real-world tools for supporting their feelings while still keeping your day moving.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about helping parents decipher whether you have a child who is anxious or just sensitive 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about understanding toddlerhood with Devon Kuntzman 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your toddler's sleep with Eileen Henry     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Pediatrician and bestselling author Dr. Golly (aka Dr. Daniel Golshevsky) joins me this week to help new parents make sense of the early weeks with a newborn and feel more grounded, confident, and connected along the way.   Together we explore:   - How to understand newborn behavior and cues so you can respond with more confidence. - What really matters in the first four weeks — and what you can let go of. - Why some babies struggle to settle, and how to support their developing nervous system. - How to create flexible, supportive routines without slipping into rigidity or pressure. - The powerful role of partners and non-breastfeeding caregivers in bonding and soothing. - How parents can tune out the noise, trust their instincts, and feel less overwhelmed by conflicting advice.   Whether you're navigating confusing cues, unpredictable sleep, feeding challenges, colic, or the general overwhelm of early parenthood, this episode offers clarity and reassurance during one of the most intense transitions of your life.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Learn more about Dr. Golly and use code securelyattachedVIP15 for 15% off all Dr Golly courses at www.drgolly.com 🔗Get Dr. Golly's free Sleeping Tips checklists 📚Your Baby Doesn't Come with a Book: Dr Golly's Guide to the First Four Weeks of Parenthood  📚Dr Golly's Guide to Family Illness: Sneezes, Wheezes and Common Diseases   📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Do You Need?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book  📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Did You Say?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book      FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱@drgolly  📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.   WANT TO TAKE YOUR LEARNING EVEN FURTHER? Join me in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about lightening the load in pregnancy and parenthood with Dr. Sterling   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Megan Roche   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom-brain" can be our greatest strength with Dr. Nicole Pensak
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - What actually happens in a group therapy session for kids and how it differs from one-on-one therapy. - How group therapy can help children practice social skills, build confidence, and feel less alone in their struggles. - The fears many parents have about group therapy, including concerns about negative peer influence, comparison, or awkwardness. - The different types of groups therapists run, including skills-based groups, process groups, and hybrid formats, and how to know which one fits your child best. - Why peer support can be uniquely powerful for kids with anxiety or low self-esteem and how group leaders create a safe, supportive environment. - What to ask a group leader before signing up so you can feel confident it will be the right match for your child.   If you've been curious whether group therapy might help your child feel supported, connected, and more capable in whatever challenges they are facing, this episode will give you a clear picture of what group work really looks like and how to decide if it could be a good fit for your kid.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Want to learn more about group therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode determine the fine line  between supporting your child versus feeding their anxiety   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the different forms of therapy with Dr. Katie C. Lewis   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman joins me this week to unpack breath-holding spells, those frightening moments when a child turns blue or pale, goes limp, or briefly loses consciousness during intense emotion or dysregulation or pain.   Together we explore:   - The two types of breath-holding spells and what triggers each of them. - Are certain children more prone to these episodes based on genetics, temperament, or other factors? - What should parents do in the moment to keep their child safe, and how to know when it's time to call their pediatrician. - What parents can do after a spell to comfort their child. - Do these spells cause any long-term harm, or are they truly benign? - How to support your child's emotion regulation and frustration tolerance between episodes.   If you're currently navigating breath-holding spells, or you simply want to feel more prepared for the unexpected moments that come with raising little ones, this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and practical guidance from both a pediatrician and a fellow parent who has lived this experience firsthand.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Caity Gilman  🎧 Listen to Caity's first episode about vaccine safety      LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 drsarahbren.com   📱 @drsarahbren     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is afraid of going to the doctor 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - How to start holiday traditions when you have a toddler and a new baby (without adding more pressure and stress to your plate!) - Setting realistic expectations so you don't feel disappointed if the picture in your head and the reality with your kids look very different. - How to stay flexible as your kids grow, their interests change, and your family evolves. - Why kids often latch onto those unexpected and unplanned moments of joy and togetherness - and how realizing this can help take some of the pressure off parents. - Simple ways to create meaningful holiday rituals, avoid overwhelm, and set a tone of joy, connection, and calm for your family this season.   Whether you're navigating multiple holidays, trying to balance gifts with meaning, or simply hoping to make this season feel special (without losing your mind), this episode will help you build traditions that truly fit your family and remind you that the magic often comes from doing less, not more.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to keep your child from becoming spoiled 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether elf on the shelf is unaligned (or not!) with positive parenting  🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how kids can get dysregulated from excitement too 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what you can do to if your child gets pressured to perform for other adults     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week are Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, co-authors of the bestselling book The Self-Driven Child and leading experts on the neuroscience of stress, motivation, and autonomy.   Together we explore:   - Why a child's sense of control is one of the strongest predictors of resilience, mental health, and stress tolerance. - How play, rest, and unstructured time uniquely support healthy brain development. - The hidden ways over-scheduling, overstimulation, and constant "fixing" can unintentionally increase anxiety. - What it really means to be a "non-anxious presence" — and how your calm helps regulate your child's nervous system. - How to give kids space to struggle, experiment, and try hard things without overwhelming them or abandoning them. - Practical, research-backed strategies for helping kids feel both safe and capable in a world that often feels anything but.   Whether you're raising a toddler or a teen, this conversation offers a grounded, science-backed reframe for understanding stress, resilience, and autonomy — and meaningful tools you can start using today to strengthen connection and help your child thrive.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUESTS: 🔗 https://theselfdrivenchild.com/  🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast  📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives 📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook  📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home  🎧 The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@selfdrivenchild 📱@drbillstixrud  📱@theothernedjohnson  📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience 🔗 Rest Is Not Idleness: Implications of the Brain's Default Mode for Human Development and Education  🔗 A Social-Cognitive Approach to Motivation and Personality  🔗 Effects of the COVID-19 Pandemic on Mental Health and Brain Maturation in Adolescents: Implications for Analyzing Longitudinal Data 📚 The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness       CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating childhood anxiety through SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the right (and wrong!) way to foster your child's independent play   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace   🎧 Listen to my podcast about how RIE can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury   
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - If it's normal for a toddlers to say "I'm sorry" constantly, even when they haven't done anything wrong. - Breaking down child development: How repetition and "theory of mind" shape early empathy and build social awareness. - How to know when frequent apologizing is just a normal developmental phase (and when it might signal something more). - The subtle ways parents can unintentionally reinforce this habit (and some phrases and actions to try instead.) - How to respond to your child in the moment to build confidence, connection, and emotional understanding.   If your little one apologizes for every stubbed toe, sibling squabble, or frustrated sigh, this episode will help you understand what's really going on and how to gently guide them toward more accurate empathy, without worry or overcorrection.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   📚 Want practical tools to help your child learn to manage big feelings? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play. It's a resource packed with simple, fun games you can play with your child to strengthen their ability to recognize, express, and regulate their emotions.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about understanding toddlerhood with Devon Kuntzman   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your toddler's sleep with Eileen Henry   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about how not to raise a people pleaser     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Alé Duarte, somatic therapist and creator of KidSoma joins me this week to explore how tuning into your child's natural rhythms can completely transform the way you understand their emotions and reactions.   Together we unpack:   - Why play isn't a break from learning, it is the learning. - What it means to help your child "complete a cycle" so their nervous system can settle and grow. - How "unfinished cycles" can leave kids dysregulated, impulsive, or anxious—and what parents can do to help their child complete these cycles in daily life. - Realistic ways to implement these strategies even when you're juggling busy schedules, time pressures, and the realities of everyday parenting. - Why slowing down and following your child's lead can actually make mornings smoother, transitions easier, and connection deeper.   If you've ever wished you could understand what's happening underneath your child's big emotions and find a calmer rhythm for your entire family system, this conversation will change the way you see play, presence, and parenting.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Alè Duarte  🔗 Kid Soma 🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte       FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱IG: @aleduarte_international YouTube: @aleduartetube  📱@drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 What is Somatic Experiencing?    👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about choosing between play therapy for kids and parenting support   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of mindfulness    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - Why kids often say "this is boring" when something actually feels too hard or frustrating. - How to tell whether your child's struggle with schoolwork might be about motivation, confidence, or a deeper learning challenge. - What to do when tutoring or extra practice starts leading to power struggles or resistance. - The pros and cons of reward systems, and how to use incentives in a way that truly motivates your child (without creating more stress). - When to consider a school-based or private evaluation—and how to know which supports will make the biggest difference for your child's unique struggles.   If your child has started saying they "hate school" or "reading is boring" this episode will help you understand what's really driving that resistance and give you practical, compassionate ways to make learning feel lighter, more motivating, and even fun again.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Learn about the Orton-Gillingham approach to reading for those with dyslexia   👉 If you're starting to wonder whether your child's challenges with learning might be more than a motivation issue, our Neuropsychological Testing services can help. Visit https://upshurbren.com/neuropsychological-testing to learn how we assess and support children with learning differences, or schedule a free call to talk through what resources might be right for your child.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between tutoring and executive functioning skills   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the best response for when your child says "I'm bored"   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about using creativity to support mental health and resilience Sharon Itkoff Nacache   WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week is therapist and the author of the new book Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period, Lauren A. Tetenbaum.   Together we explore:   - The perimenopause symptoms that often begin in your 30s and 40s, long before your period stops. - How hormonal changes affect your mood, identity, relationships, and sense of self — and why understanding this can be profoundly grounding. - Why perimenopause isn't just a "women's issue," but a family and cultural one, impacting partners, kids, and the emotional climate of a home. - How to talk to your kids (yes, including your sons!) about menstruation, menopause, and the full arc of reproductive life in ways that reduce shame and build empathy. - Practical strategies for navigating this transition, including how to advocate for yourself with healthcare providers, what kinds of support actually help, and how to build a mental health plan that works for your body and life.   Our message is simple but powerful: when women understand what's happening in their bodies and get the support they deserve, they're able to move through this transition with more confidence, steadiness, and compassion for themselves and the people they love.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗The CounseLaur  📚Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period 🎧 Balancing the load of parenthood: Becoming a team with your partner-in-parenting with Lauren A. Tetenbaum     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@thecounselaur  📱@drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 The Menopause Society      CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the cycle of the female body, from puberty to perimenopause with Dr. Lauren Streicher   🎧Listen to the podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about raising girls who know their worth with Kate Rope   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting boys to combat toxic masculinity with Ruth Whippman
We're doing something a little different on Beyond the Sessions this week! Instead of answering a listener question, Dr. Emily Upshur, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, and I are unpacking a fascinating (and slightly unsettling) study about how media exposure to traumatic events can affect our mental health—and what it means for us and our kids.   In this episode, we talk about:   - A study that found people who watched repeated news coverage about the Boston Marathon Bombing showed more markers of stress than some who were actually there. - Why constant exposure to distressing headlines can keep your nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight. - How past trauma and chronic stress can make us more vulnerable to media-induced anxiety. - What "orienting to safety" means and simple ways to help your brain (and your child's) return to calm. - How to talk to kids about scary news stories in age-appropriate, grounding ways.   In a world where we're surrounded by 24/7 coverage of crisis and tragedy, this conversation will help you understand what's happening inside your brain and body and give you tools for focusing on building resilience and safety for your child.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   📚 Media's role in broadcasting acute stress following the Boston Marathon bombings     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental burnout   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about motherhood as a millennial with Marcella Kelson     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
High-conflict divorce doesn't just end a marriage, it can shake your identity, your parenting, and your ability to feel grounded. Joining me to share guidance for parents at the beginning, in the thick of it, or still processing the aftermath is divorce coach Karen McMahon.   Together we explore:   - What defines a high-conflict parent and how this dynamic impacts families. - Why trying to change your ex keeps you stuck—and where your real power lies. - Practical strategies to co-parent effectively, even when cooperation feels impossible. - How to protect kids from the emotional "shrapnel" of conflict while staying grounded yourself. - How unresolved trauma and attachment patterns can influence who we choose as partners—and how to break those cycles. - The role of boundaries, support systems, and self-healing in transforming not just your divorce, but your identity moving forward.   Whether you're in the midst of a high-conflict divorce or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers compassionate insight and practical tools to help you reclaim your confidence, protect your children, and move forward with grace.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/  🎧 Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast 📞 Rapid Relief Call     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@journey_beyond_divorce 📱@drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧334. Divorce, custody & co-parenting: The legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman   🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack    🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer   🎧106. Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood with Alana Carvalho   🎧 199. Q&A: What are strategies for co-parenting with a narcissist?  
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Comments (1)

Kimber Gutridge

Great info! Thanks so much for putting this out there in an easy to understand language.

Jun 16th
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