Claim OwnershipBeen There Got Out Podcast
Subscribed: 33Played: 1,350
Subscribe
© 2026 BTGO, LLC
Description
Chris and Lisa of BeenThereGotOut.com both survived toxic marriages with narcissistic partners and the legal and co-parenting nightmares that go hand-in-hand with all of that.If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.Our podcast features interviews with lawyers, therapists, co-parenting coordinators, guardians ad litem, and other subject matter experts, as well as other content, all with one goal in mind: Let us teach you how to HELP YOURSELF!
347 Episodes
Reverse
What if the moment your child starts pulling away isn't a sign of failure, but the beginning of a chapter you can still write? Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst has spent 50 years as a psychologist inside divorce cases, family courts, and the offices of struggling parents. What she's learned might change the way you see everything. In this powerful conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Vanderhorst to explore the real psychology behind parental alienation - how it starts, why children pull away, what's...
What CPS Is Actually Looking For When They Knock on Your Door When Child Protective Services shows up during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, the fear can be overwhelming. You might be terrified of losing your children, furious at your ex for weaponizing the system, and completely in the dark about what happens next. In this episode, Lisa sits down with Sara Vandenberg, a trauma psychotherapist and former CPS caseworker in Texas, for one of the most practical, fear-reducing conver...
Have you ever looked back at your relationship with your ex and wondered: how did I get here? Why did I choose someone who would eventually turn the courts, the kids, maybe even your own family against you? Why did this feel so normal... at first? The answer might be encoded in your DNA. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky — a PhD family therapist with 21 years of clinical experience, a faculty career that took her from Mount Sinai Medical Center to ...
Your child cried at your house about how much they hate going to their other parent's home. Then you found out they had a great time. Or they came home from your ex's house perfectly happy, when you expected them to be upset. Or they told you one thing — and told your ex something completely different. It can feel like a betrayal. Or proof that something is wrong at the other house. Or maybe it makes you doubt your own perception of what's happening. Here's what's actually going...
When Kasia Bukowska's horses refused to cooperate, she thought she was failing. What she discovered instead changed everything she understood about trauma, healing, and why we stay stuck. Kasia is a Polish equine-assisted therapist, equestrian coach, and artist who has spent years learning how to use horses as healing partners for clients working through deep emotional pain - including survivors of narcissistic abuse, people in the middle of high-conflict divorces, and anyone whose ner...
No one believes you. You've said it in every room. To every professional. To the judge, the GAL, the CPS worker. You didn't do this. The allegations are false. And yet — somehow — your children are not with you. There's a tool that most people in your situation have never heard of. It's not new. It's not experimental. It's legally recognized, it produces a certified written report within 24 hours, and it has caused CPS cases to be dropped and charges dismissed before...
You know you shouldn't react. You know exactly what your ex is doing when they push, bait, violate the court order, or put the kids in the middle. You've read the articles. You've heard about grey rock. You're smart — you've built a career, raised children, solved genuinely complex problems. And you still react. Every time. This is not a character flaw. This is your nervous system doing exactly what years of coercive control trained it to do — and no amount of willpower changes a nervous sy...
There's a moment most people in our community know well. Your phone lights up with a message from your ex. Or you're sitting in the parking lot outside the courthouse. Or you're on the phone with your attorney and your voice starts shaking. You know the response you want to give. You know the person you want to be in that moment. And then something happens — a thought spiral, a surge of adrenaline, a reaction you didn't plan — and afterward, you're sitting there wondering what just happened....
If your spouse owns a business — or if you co-own one together — your divorce just got significantly more complicated. The business isn't just a job. It's potentially a marital asset, a hidden income source, and a leverage point all at once. And if your ex controls the books? You may have no idea what it's actually worth. In this episode, we sit down with Sara Nanchanatt, a forensic accountant and founder of SN Forensics in New York City, to break down exactly what a business valuation is, w...
Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the weather." In this profoundly important conversation with Lisa Johnson, Sara shares insights that could literally save children's lives and transform families. Why Sara's voice matters: As someone who experienced incest by both biological parents over an ...
Making critical decisions in high-conflict divorce when you can barely trust your own judgment? This interview is essential viewing. After experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal in a toxic relationship, many people struggle to trust their instincts—especially when the stakes are highest. Should you push for a custody evaluation? Is your ex really alienating the kids, or are you being paranoid? How do you read the Guardian ad Litem? What if you're wrong about everything?&n...
"I'll never trust again." That's what Lisa thought after discovering the truth about her nearly 20-year marriage—the serial affairs, the unprotected sex that put her health at risk, the father-in-law who helped finance the betrayals while smiling at Sunday family dinners. For two years, she told only three friends, consumed by shame and terrified that if others knew the truth, she'd never have the chance to "fix" her family. Maybe you've thought those same words. Maybe you're living that sa...
Is your child struggling with your separation or divorce? Wondering if they need professional help? Licensed play therapist Jenny Hornby joins Lisa to discuss the critical signs that children need therapeutic support during high-conflict divorce - and why getting help for yourself might be even more important. In this essential conversation, you'll discover when therapy becomes necessary, what different therapeutic approaches can offer, and how to find the right mental health professional fo...
🎯 "What does a custody evaluator actually look for?" If you're terrified of your upcoming custody evaluation, attorney Tracy Galloway has the answer—and it might not be what you think. Tracy has been a Massachusetts child custody and divorce attorney for over 30 years. She started at the Department of Children and Families working child welfare and abuse/neglect cases before transitioning to private practice in 1998. And here's what makes her perspective unique: Tracy does custody evaluati...
🎯 "Mediation? With a NARCISSIST? Are you crazy?" If that's your reaction, you're not alone. Most people in high-conflict divorce assume mediation is pointless when dealing with someone who has a personality disorder or active addiction. But according to Liz Merrill—who spent 20 years married to a narcissist scientist before becoming a divorce mediator herself—it's worth trying. And here's why: "A surprisingly high percentage of people who come with high conflict divorces get through the me...
"I finally got out of that toxic relationship! I'm never doing that again!" Six months later: Same person, different body. If this pattern sounds familiar, you're not alone—and according to trauma therapist Sherry Gaba, it's not your fault. But it is something you need to understand if you ever want to break free. "Love addicts are in love with love," Sherry explains. "And when they don't have a relationship, it feels like they are in the ethers of emptiness. So they will often settle for l...
🎯 "If I don't get validation from my partner (or - yikes - my ex), I can't function. I'm a mess unless I get that feedback, that positive reinforcement." That's validation addiction, and according to Ralph Brewer, founder of Help for Men and author of five books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix" and "Rebuild: The Complete Guide," it's an epidemic affecting far more people than you'd think. Most people assume this compulsive need for external validation is a "female thing"—the anxious, preocc...
🎯 **"90% of families with special needs children end up divorcing. And when they do, those children become incredibly vulnerable to gatekeeping behaviors that can lead to parental alienation."** Ashish Joshi—one of our most frequently cited experts and a leading attorney specializing in family violence, parental alienation, and neurodivergent family cases—returns to explain the critical intersection between special needs children and custody battles. If you have a child with autism, ADHD, d...
🎯 "Just pretend they are dead." That's what a psychiatrist told Steven Eichenblatt's biological father—advice he followed when he dropped seven-year-old Steven and his twin sister off one day and never came back. Steven is now an attorney with 37 years of experience, a guardian ad litem who represents children pro bono in custody cases, and the author of "Pretend They Are Dead"—a riveting memoir about what it's actually like to be the alienated child. This conversation offers a perspective...
🎯 "Loss is loss. And we lose not only loved ones, but we lose a lot of different aspects in our life. Losing a child through disconnection... that is a really serious aspect of grief." Jock Brocas—spiritual medium, psychologist researcher, ex-military, and grief expert—explains the unique grief of alienated parents during what he calls the "Bermuda Triangle" of holidays (Thanksgiving through New Year). This conversation addresses the grief no one talks about: when your child is alive but yo...
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store
United States
this helps me know how to show how he's a manipulative narcissist. summerize