Claim OwnershipBeen There Got Out Podcast
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Chris and Lisa of BeenThereGotOut.com both survived toxic marriages with narcissistic partners and the legal and co-parenting nightmares that go hand-in-hand with all of that.If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.Our podcast features interviews with lawyers, therapists, co-parenting coordinators, guardians ad litem, and other subject matter experts, as well as other content, all with one goal in mind: Let us teach you how to HELP YOURSELF!
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There's a moment most people in our community know well. Your phone lights up with a message from your ex. Or you're sitting in the parking lot outside the courthouse. Or you're on the phone with your attorney and your voice starts shaking. You know the response you want to give. You know the person you want to be in that moment. And then something happens — a thought spiral, a surge of adrenaline, a reaction you didn't plan — and afterward, you're sitting there wondering what just happened....
If your spouse owns a business — or if you co-own one together — your divorce just got significantly more complicated. The business isn't just a job. It's potentially a marital asset, a hidden income source, and a leverage point all at once. And if your ex controls the books? You may have no idea what it's actually worth. In this episode, we sit down with Sara Nanchanatt, a forensic accountant and founder of SN Forensics in New York City, to break down exactly what a business valuation is, w...
Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the weather." In this profoundly important conversation with Lisa Johnson, Sara shares insights that could literally save children's lives and transform families. Why Sara's voice matters: As someone who experienced incest by both biological parents over an ...
Making critical decisions in high-conflict divorce when you can barely trust your own judgment? This interview is essential viewing. After experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal in a toxic relationship, many people struggle to trust their instincts—especially when the stakes are highest. Should you push for a custody evaluation? Is your ex really alienating the kids, or are you being paranoid? How do you read the Guardian ad Litem? What if you're wrong about everything?&n...
"I'll never trust again." That's what Lisa thought after discovering the truth about her nearly 20-year marriage—the serial affairs, the unprotected sex that put her health at risk, the father-in-law who helped finance the betrayals while smiling at Sunday family dinners. For two years, she told only three friends, consumed by shame and terrified that if others knew the truth, she'd never have the chance to "fix" her family. Maybe you've thought those same words. Maybe you're living that sa...
Is your child struggling with your separation or divorce? Wondering if they need professional help? Licensed play therapist Jenny Hornby joins Lisa to discuss the critical signs that children need therapeutic support during high-conflict divorce - and why getting help for yourself might be even more important. In this essential conversation, you'll discover when therapy becomes necessary, what different therapeutic approaches can offer, and how to find the right mental health professional fo...
🎯 "What does a custody evaluator actually look for?" If you're terrified of your upcoming custody evaluation, attorney Tracy Galloway has the answer—and it might not be what you think. Tracy has been a Massachusetts child custody and divorce attorney for over 30 years. She started at the Department of Children and Families working child welfare and abuse/neglect cases before transitioning to private practice in 1998. And here's what makes her perspective unique: Tracy does custody evaluati...
🎯 "Mediation? With a NARCISSIST? Are you crazy?" If that's your reaction, you're not alone. Most people in high-conflict divorce assume mediation is pointless when dealing with someone who has a personality disorder or active addiction. But according to Liz Merrill—who spent 20 years married to a narcissist scientist before becoming a divorce mediator herself—it's worth trying. And here's why: "A surprisingly high percentage of people who come with high conflict divorces get through the me...
"I finally got out of that toxic relationship! I'm never doing that again!" Six months later: Same person, different body. If this pattern sounds familiar, you're not alone—and according to trauma therapist Sherry Gaba, it's not your fault. But it is something you need to understand if you ever want to break free. "Love addicts are in love with love," Sherry explains. "And when they don't have a relationship, it feels like they are in the ethers of emptiness. So they will often settle for l...
🎯 "If I don't get validation from my partner (or - yikes - my ex), I can't function. I'm a mess unless I get that feedback, that positive reinforcement." That's validation addiction, and according to Ralph Brewer, founder of Help for Men and author of five books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix" and "Rebuild: The Complete Guide," it's an epidemic affecting far more people than you'd think. Most people assume this compulsive need for external validation is a "female thing"—the anxious, preocc...
🎯 **"90% of families with special needs children end up divorcing. And when they do, those children become incredibly vulnerable to gatekeeping behaviors that can lead to parental alienation."** Ashish Joshi—one of our most frequently cited experts and a leading attorney specializing in family violence, parental alienation, and neurodivergent family cases—returns to explain the critical intersection between special needs children and custody battles. If you have a child with autism, ADHD, d...
🎯 "Just pretend they are dead." That's what a psychiatrist told Steven Eichenblatt's biological father—advice he followed when he dropped seven-year-old Steven and his twin sister off one day and never came back. Steven is now an attorney with 37 years of experience, a guardian ad litem who represents children pro bono in custody cases, and the author of "Pretend They Are Dead"—a riveting memoir about what it's actually like to be the alienated child. This conversation offers a perspective...
🎯 "Loss is loss. And we lose not only loved ones, but we lose a lot of different aspects in our life. Losing a child through disconnection... that is a really serious aspect of grief." Jock Brocas—spiritual medium, psychologist researcher, ex-military, and grief expert—explains the unique grief of alienated parents during what he calls the "Bermuda Triangle" of holidays (Thanksgiving through New Year). This conversation addresses the grief no one talks about: when your child is alive but yo...
🎯 "I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. It was all because of what I was doing—what we were doing—to my kids." If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you. Jill Barnett Kaufman is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, certified mediator, and co-parenting expert who's been helping parents since the 90s. But she's also been exactly where you are—terrified that divorce would ruin her children's lives. Now, years later, with thriving adult children (including a middle child who recently ...
🎯 If divorce paperwork makes you want to crawl under your desk and never come out, you're not alone—and you're not broken. Jorie Houlihan, a certified life coach specializing in ADHD (and diagnosed herself at age 49), explains why so many people in high-conflict divorce situations struggle with the organizational demands—and what actually helps. Even if you don't have an ADHD diagnosis, the strategies Jorie shares work for anyone dealing with overwhelm, decision fatigue, and the paralyzing ...
🎯 If your child is drowning in anxiety from family stress and you're tired of adding more therapy appointments, this conversation will open new possibilities. Brian Barry, Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, explains why anxious kids don't need fancy tools or expensive art supplies—they just need curiosity, enthusiasm, and a chance to get their hands messy. Lisa visits the Clay Art Center to explore how creative activities help children process stress without...
🎯 If your adult child has cut contact and you think it's too late, this interview will change everything.Ginger Gentile, director of the documentary "Erasing Family" (free on YouTube), has helped reunite 180 families—including cases where parents had NO contact with adult children for up to 12 years. No email access, no phone number, didn't even know where their kid lived.And here's the surprising part: in the most successful reunifications, the child initiates the reconnection, not the paren...
Danny Karon, fondly known as "your lovable lawyer," offers a fresh perspective on the legal system by championing accessibility and empowerment. In this enlightening conversation, Danny shares his journey and mission to demystify legal complexities and reduce the prohibitive costs associated with legal services. With insights from his book "Your Lovable Lawyer's Guide to Legal Wellness," he equips listeners with practical tools to navigate legal challenges independently. We also tackle the ev...
What if the child who seems to have it all together is actually struggling the most? Join us as we sit down with Colorado therapist Stacy Schaffer, who offers her expertise on the hidden emotional battles children face during parental conflict and divorce. We examine the façade of the "shiny kid," outwardly thriving yet internally wrestling with feelings of guilt and responsibility. Stacy shares strategies to empower these young ones by focusing on their ability to control their emotions and ...
Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, a distinguished psychologist and marriage and family therapist, returns to share her invaluable insights on one of the most challenging issues faced by military couples: infidelity. With infidelity rates climbing by 22% during deployments, Dr. Polinsky unveils the seven distinct types of affairs that can arise, offering a clearer understanding of the underlying motivations. The conversation delves into the immense stress and separation distress that deployments can imp...
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this helps me know how to show how he's a manipulative narcissist. summerize