The Divorce Course Podcast

Are you currently going through your property settlement or about to go through who gets what in your divorce process then this episode is perfect for you. This is part three of a series of episodes that covers Sorting your Property Settlement in Divorce. This episode covers how the court may consider your future needs and how it may change your property settlement outcome. Listen to this episode to know what you might be entitled to and to make sure you don't make the mistake of glossing over the property settlement process and leaving yourself high and dry in the future. Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement  Sign up here for our next free online webinar    Click below to listen to the other episodes we refer to in the episode Sorting your property settlement in divorce: Financial Contributions before cohabitation and how it affects your property settlement Sorting your property settlement in divorce: Part 2 Non financial & financial contributions during & after marriage. Spousal Maintenance - are you eligible?   FAMILY LAW ACT 1975 - SECT 75 Matters to be taken into consideration in relation to spousal maintenance You Don't Want to Miss Out On 75(2) factors of the family law act What future needs are considered when negotiating property settlement How can age affect your property settlement? How can your health affect your property settlement? What happens if you are married for a short time in property settlement? What happens if you've never worked a paid job and you are getting divorced? What happens if you need to upgrade your skills to get back into the workforce and you are getting divorced? How taking care of the children can affect your property settlement Children with special needs and your property settlement  What are the factors considered for future needs? Does your ex's girlfriend or boyfriend gets considered in your property settlement? Superannuation and how it is calculated in future needs for your divorce? What happens if your ex has superannuation that cannot be split? How are overseas pensions taken into account during property settlement? What happens with a trust and property settlement?  Did you support your ex while they were studying for a degree? Learn how this can affect your property settlement in your divorce. What you should raise with your lawyer when discussing property settlement How to help property settlement in mediation How to find the family law act and how to read it to help you. How child support is considered  If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different. 

Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Are you about to hire a lawyer or do you currently have a lawyer and are starting to wonder if they are a good fit for your case. In this episode we cover what you should be looking for when hiring a lawyer and the red flags to keep an eye out with your current family or domestic violence lawyer. We discuss what type of lawyer you need based on what divorce personality you are facing and why. We also cover what the process is if you decide to change lawyers. Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement  Sign up here for our next free online webinar  You Don't Want to Miss Out On How to choose the right lawyer Why do you need to check your lawyer's experience?  Why some children's matter lawyers are not that great at property matters. Why are some domestic violence lawyers not great family lawyers?  Why is it important to choose the right lawyer for the kind of work you need? Why it is important to choose a certain type of lawyer based on your divorce course personality prism. Why it's important to have a lawyer that will tell you the things you sometimes probably don't want to hear during your case but need to. Why is it helpful for your lawyer to have appeared in front of your  judge before? Why should you be concerned if your lawyer doesn't want to put your case to the judge because they seem scared? Why it's important to have a lawyer who is upfront about costs and billing. Family law and domestic violence legal billing and the best way to do it.  Why it's a good idea to check LinkedIn when choosing a family lawyer or domestic violence lawyer. How often should you expect to hear from your lawyer? How to make sure you avoid unnecessary billing from your family lawyer. Why it's important you trust your lawyer and what to do if you don't. The process involved if you want to change lawyers. Can you change lawyers midway through your case? What kind of lawyer do you need if you are divorcing a narcissist? What kind of lawyer do you need if your divorce is amicable? What lawyer to look for if you have a high conflict case? If your ex is controlling and manipulative what lawyer would work best for your case.   If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different.   

Are you suffering from Post Separation Abuse? Are you finding yourself being kept under coercive control, isolated, harassed, stalked, subjected to legal abuse, financial abuse, counter parenting, alienation allegations or neglectful coparenting? We discuss what post separation abuse can look like and how you can counter it. We examine the One Mom's Battles Post Separation Abuse Wheel and Lyn, a family lawyer of 35 years gives tips and advice that you can follow if you find yourself in any of these situations.   Sign up here for our next free online webinar  Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement  One Moms Battle - Post Separation Abuse Wheel You Don't Want to Miss Out On What is coercive control? What is post separation abuse? How can you be isolated after separating from an abusive ex? What to do if you feel like you are being harassed and stalked? How to approach a police officer refusing to take your statement about domestic violence.  Why it is still important to report your concerns and incidents each time.  How to try prove abuse of legal services How the children are used in post separation abuse Counter parenting and what to do about it. Alienation allegations and what to do about it. Neglectful parenting and what to do about it What is an unfriendly parent in the eyes of the court? Abuse vs alienation What is an ICL independent children's lawyers What is a contact centre?   If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different. 

If you are worried about what happens to your money after separation or divorce and how it will be split between your ex and yourself this episode is for you. We discuss non financial and financial contributions during the marriage and after cohabitation and how it affects your property settlement in the family court. Did you get a lump sum of money during your marriage? Did you get an inheritance, or have you been saving money after separation and are now facing a property settlement and wondering if your money should be a part of the property pool. Even if you have a family lawyer this is a good episode for you to listen to so that you know how the property settlement is decided and how what you've contributed during the marriage and after you've separated can affect the property split.  Sign up here for our next free online webinar  Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement    Episodes you might want to listen to as well Podcast Episode Part 1: Property Settlement: property before cohabitation and how it affects your property settlement Podcast Episode: DIY Property Pool Discover and Disclosure    You Don't Want to Miss Out On How your inheritance is treated in property settlement How money made and spent during the marriage or cohabitation is looked at for property settlement What is a non financial contribution What is a financial contribution What is matrimonial property  Is there such a thing as non matrimonial property How the length of the marriage affects the property settlement Exceptions for during cohabitation that don't normally gets considered 50/50  inheritance and windfalls and lump sums What the case law says about contributions How percentages are used in property settlement  What happens with your money after separation. How is it included in the property settlement in the family court?  Does the money you save after separation get included in the property pool. How does caring for the kids affect the property pool in your property settlement.  What are non-financial contributions that go towards the property pool? Documenting post separation contributions  What are financial contributions after separation? What are negative contributions post separation? How is credit card debt treated in post separation property settlement? Does the waiting time get included into the judgement on property?  What is the difference between consent orders and judge ordered court orders? What are the risks of property settlement What are future needs and why are they considered in the property settlement? If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different. 

Are you about to go to trial or worried what your trial would be like in your family court. We will break it down in a really easy to understand way so you know what you will be facing and you won't have any surprises. Break up the fear of the unknown and be prepared for your day in family court for your divorce, children's or property settlement. Sign up here for our next free online webinar  Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement  You Don't Want to Miss Out On How knowing what goes on in a trial will help you face your fear. How keeping a mindfulness approach to your trial day can really keep you focused and achieve better outcomes for you on the day. The theatre of a trial and what to expect Who will be in the trial room with you. What the trial room will look like. What to expect from the judge How to speak to a judge What a judges associate is and what to expect from them on the day of the trial  How to know where to stand when you go into court The layout of the courtroom What is a bar table and why is it called one? When do witnesses come into the trial Where do witnesses wait during the trial proceedings Can you take a support person with you? How does the judge enter? How does the trial start What kind of housekeeping does the judge do at the beginning What is the point of the witness box What do you have to do in the witness box What kind of questions do they ask in the witness box How can you prepare for a trial What does the affidavit have to do with the trial Why it's important to refresh your memory Why it's important to eat breakfast the day of court Top strategy for the witness box What is going on in the head of the barrister or the lawyer How long can you be in the witness box How to ask to go to the bathroom if you're in the witness box What should you do when a judge asks you a direct question How should you address the judge during your family court trial What are closing submissions What's the difference between written and spoken submissions What do you find out the outcome of your family court trial How long does it take to get a judgement Can you cross examine your ex in the witness box yourself? How to prepare for trial and cross examine if you are doing it yourself If you are self representing What happens if your trial is via zoom? What's the difference between a divorce trial with zoom as opposed to in the court room? How many support people should you bring to a trial Objections during court, how does it happen, why and who can do it. Can you object yourself to questions asked of you in the witness box? How to take care of yourself after the trial What happens if you cry in the witness box Why do lots of people settle on the day of the trial? How to avoid being done for costs? What happens if the judgement matches the offer you or your ex offered a year ago or months ago?   If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different.   

Are you freaking out about your divorce proceedings? At some point during everyone's divorce there may be a moment of panic or a feeling of hopelessness. This is the episode to listen to if you are worried. Let Lyn, a family law specialist of over 35 years experience explain the legal things she explains to her clients to calm them down when they are panicking. And some great tips you can use to eliminate more worry later down the track. Divorce and court isn't as scary as you think it is. We've got your back. Press play and feel better today. Sign up here for our next free online webinar  Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement  You Don't Want to Miss Out On Five points to remember when freaking out in divorce proceedings Your ex isn't special, the family court has seen it all before Why keeping notes of your divorce proceedings can help calm you in a moments of panic of your divorce What happens if mediation fails? How long it takes from initial application to final trial What are the new family court directives How to stop your ex from freaking you out. How to be proactive in your divorce proceedings instead of reactive. How to make plans before you ask for a response to something so you don't have to worry about what their response will be, if any. How to speed up your divorce process. Consequences and how to use them to help progress the matter forward. Drafting letters as your next response as a way to calm yourself Why setting your own divorce goals are important Why creating a action plan of steps needed is important Why you need a plan a, plan b and plan c to eliminate the panic How not to let the new year make you upset about your divorce. Divorce songs and how they can help you get the confidence to face the legal stuff. Why do you need to focus forward and live your life during the divorce process? How what you focus on can affect how you cope with your divorce process. How to reclaim your power after separation. You don't need your ex to do a thing to get your divorce finalised Why threats don't always end up in reality Why getting a psychologist can really help your mental health during your divorce proceedings.   If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different. 

We discuss what happens when you separate. Who should get the pets in a divorce? How the family court views pets and what they can do. And also what you can do to make sure the pet is taken care of in your divorce.  We look at other pet owners' solutions and how you can apply these yourself. We also discuss pets in domestic violence situations and where you can go to for help. Sign up here for our next free online webinar  Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement  You Don't Want to Miss Out On How your pet is viewed in the family court.  Is there anything in the family law act that refers to pets? Whats the difference between livestock and pets and how does the court deal with this? Can you work out an arrangement yourself to share the custody of the pets?  Can a family court judge make an order on the custody of a pet? How pet possession can be proven by registration papers?  Show dogs and divorce. What happens if your ex takes your pet? What should you do before separation with your pet? Why you should never leave pets with a person who has committed DV. T Domestic Violence and Pet Care Disability Pet or Support Animals and Divorce Property Settlement and Pets are they included as assets? Consent orders and financial agreements and pets. If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different. 

REGISTER for our next free online webinar  ACCESS THE DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Checklist for your divorce and property settlement Today's Listener Divorce Questions:   This podcast is general advice only How can you change existing parenting orders? Can you change your parenting orders after a few years? What is the main aim of the practice direction for the federal circuit and family court of australia? What is the case of the Rice & Asplin case of 1978 and how to relate to wanting to change parenting orders. Centrelink payments and your property settlement, what you need to know The family law act and what it says about money from the government in property settlement and divorce. Post separation savings and in the property settlement. What happens to your bank account savings you've saved after separation in the divorce proceedings. Can you keep the money for yourself in property settlement? Send your questions to thedivorcecoursepodcast@gmail.com  Follow us on Instagram Join us on Facebook Find out more about the divorce course podcast If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you. 

Sign up here for our next free online webinar  Click here to learn more about your DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Click here for our free checklist for your divorce and property settlement Part 1 of our property settlement and divorce series.  This episode covers the factors and assets that are considered when thinking about contribution before marriage or cohabitation and who gets what after divorce. We discuss: How the length of Marriage can make a difference to the outcome? How the size of the Property Pool can affect the outcome? How can it matter what you and your partner do with the assets during the marriage? How superannuation before cohabitation is considered in property settlement.  Stay tuned for PART 2 contributions during the marriage and PART 3 contributions after the marriage and how it could affect your property settlement during divorce?  You Don't Want to Miss Out On   Why the length of your marriage matters in property settlement in divorce. How does what you bring into the marriage get sorted out when you get divorce? What is a contribution? The difference in a property settlement for a 30 year marriage to a 10 year marriage? If you bring in a house or shares it doesn't automatically be given back to you at separation.  What is considered a short marriage? How do children factor into property settlement percentage?  A case of gold bars under the waterbed Why furniture and pianos don't count as contributions at the beginning of the marriage What things are considered contributions at the beginning of a marriage? How to get proof that you bought a house before marriage Superannuation. If you have not brought anything into the marriage at all can you end up with some property in your divorce settlement? How future needs are considered in a property settlement.  If you helped pay child support for your ex's kids can you get the money back after divorce? What do you do if your contributions before marriage are not being acknowledged by the other side? When might it be not a great idea to fight for initial contributions to be acknowledged in court? Why it is important to put in the effort and do the work to get the evidence before mediation. How to negotiate with a narcissist during property settlement. If your ex changes everything into their mothers name can it still be included in the property pool?  Does it matter if your ex changes their assets into someone else's name?   If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636 National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different. 

REGISTER for our next free online webinar  ACCESS THE DIY DIVORCE BLUEPRINT Checklist for your divorce and property settlement Today's Divorce Listener Questions:   What happens to the money from your house sale after it is sold but you are still in divorce proceedings? What happens after you and your ex have signed a property agreement or have property settlement? Can you file another affidavit after your initial affidavit to the court? What can you do if an affidavit filed in your case is full of lies?  How the family court is streamlining their system What is the new Family law practice management aiming to streamline the court processes for separation and divorce proceedings? What are the new case practice management directions of the Family  court and how does it change things? General advice only Send your questions tothedivorcecoursepodcast@gmail.com    Follow us on Instagram Join us on Facebook Find out more about the divorce course podcast   If you need emergency help you can also contact: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE  LEGAL AID Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia  Police on 000 DVConnect Womenslineon 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill DV Connect Menslineon 1800 600 636 National DV lineon 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732  Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next practical steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon. And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review so it can help others. Thank you.  Please note this is general advice only. Please always seek independent legal advice as everyone's situation is different.

Over Lyns many years of Family Law experience she has found that there are typically four different types of divorces. The strategies and outcomes you use can change based on what type of divorce you are facing. If you intend on following through with each step that the divorce course podcast intends to lay out, it is important to identify your type. The mother daughter duo Lyn and Laura will be referring to each stage and referring to what is best to do based on the type of divorce you determine from this episode.  Lyn aims to talk to people like she talks to people in consultation, with her daughter Laura, asking the questions you would most likely ask during the visit.    You don't want to miss: Knowing your type of divorce An overall summary of what to expect in these types of separations. A basic summary of the steps in the divorvce process Some simple basic 101 rules to start following in your communication with your ex partner. !  Lyns plainly put divorce tips.   Links and resources: Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcecourse Join us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/thedivorcecoursepodcast 1800RESPECT 1800 737 732 Lifeline 13 11 14 Mensline Australia 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123 Make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on the next steps and guide to your divorce or de facto separation coming soon.  And, if you've found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review. Thank you. 

🎧 Listen to this episode if: You're unsure whether what you experienced was abuse You've heard the term "coercive control" but don't fully understand it You feel confused, guilty or constantly off balance in your relationship Negotiations during separation feel manipulative rather than constructive You're worried about how coercive control affects children You want clarity and validation around your experience This episode discusses family violence and may be triggering for some listeners. If you need support, please reach out to 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or Lifeline (13 11 14). This discussion is general education only and not psychological or legal advice. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: When It's Not Just Conflict: How Coercive Control Shows Up in Divorce [00:00] – Is This Normal Conflict or Something More? [01:45] – Safety Disclaimer & Family Violence Support Services [02:35] – Why Naming Coercive Control Matters [03:35] – What Coercive Control Actually Is (Simple Definition) [04:32] – Patterns, Not Incidents: Why Abuse Isn't Always Obvious  Why domestic violence is no longer viewed as isolated incidents but as ongoing patterns of behaviour that create harm over time. [05:35] – No Bruises, Still Harm: Emotional & Psychological Abuse Explained  How gaslighting, micromanagement, silent treatment and financial control cause real psychological damage without visible injuries. [07:13] – How Do You Explain Coercive Control to Others? [10:03] – The Three D's: Disrespect, Disempowerment & Distortion  A practical framework to identify coercive control behaviours in relationships and divorce negotiations. [11:09] – Disempowerment: Fear, Micromanagement & Loss of Autonomy  How controlling partners create dependency, intimidation and fear of consequences — even without physical violence. [12:11] – Post-Separation Control: When Abuse Continues After Divorce  Why coercive control often escalates during separation, mediation and family court proceedings. [13:59] – Disrespect & Double Standards in Abusive Relationships [16:27] – Distortion & Gaslighting: Rewriting Reality [18:48] – Narcissism vs Coercive Control: What's the Difference?  Understanding the overlap between narcissistic traits and coercive control in emotionally abusive relationships. [20:09] – Seeing the Whole Pattern (Not Just One Argument)  Why focusing on single incidents hides the broader pattern of domination and manipulation. [21:56] – How Coercive Control Impacts Children  Why children are not just witnesses but victims in coercively controlled households — including hypervigilance and emotional harm. [24:22] – Protecting Children in Family Court  How concerns about coercive control can be reframed as "alienation" — and why understanding legal narratives matters. [25:34] – One Safe Parent: The Protective Buffer for Kids [26:15] – Why It's So Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship  Financial dependence, fear, threats, trauma bonding and loss of autonomy explained. [27:56] – The Power Myth: Why Abusers Seem So Smart and Untouchable [28:54] – Trauma Bonding Explained  The cycle of highs and lows that keeps people emotionally attached in abusive dynamics. [30:01] – Court Fears & Post-Separation Abuse  Why people fear family court when coercive control continues through legal processes. [31:03] – Negotiation vs Control: The Simple Test  How to tell the difference between genuine divorce negotiation and manipulation disguised as cooperation. [33:05] – The Three D's in Legal Tactics [34:15] – Legal Examples: Silent Treatment, Rigid Demands & Pressure Tactics  Recognising micromanagement, unreasonable timelines, and threats dressed up as "legal process." [38:04] – Using Children to Maintain Control After Separation  Excessive updates, micromanaging parenting decisions, and control disguised as "concern." [44:25] – Hold Onto Clarity: Documenting Patterns of Abuse  Why writing things down helps counter gaslighting and protects your psychological stability during divorce. [46:37] – Legal Narratives & Gatekeeping in Court  How coercive control can be minimised or reframed in legal settings — and why showing patterns matters. [48:12] – Hope, Support & Life After Coercive Control  side. [49:06] – Workshop Resources & Next Steps 🔗 Resources Mentioned 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 https://kirovapsychology.com.au/ (Melbourne workshops & resources) Previous episodes on: Mediation vs Manipulation https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=LOOTB_BwYJIQSmn9 Legal Abuse: https://youtu.be/h2Pu2MmbDxw?si=-HiUdJAfdvoMK8fL Alienation Allegations: https://youtu.be/g8ofj-Sp3n4?si=_0tX3XSweEMzYp6o Safety Planning https://youtu.be/R4M8Hr9cbh0?si=0XyklWL2VMwx_cmN

🎧 Listen to this episode if… ● Your ex's parents or extended family are texting, pressuring or negotiating on their behalf ● Grandparents are demanding time with your children ● You're being accused of owing money that was supposedly a "gift" ● You're dealing with coercive control through third parties ● You feel like you're negotiating with an entire extended family ● You're unsure what you legally have to respond to ● Your mediation agreements change after your ex speaks to their family ● You want clear boundaries and practical guidance during separation If you are going through separation or divorce and suddenly your ex's family has become involved, this episode will help you understand what your responsibility actually is  and where it ends. In this conversation, Mum and I unpack what you legally have to respond to, what you can ignore, and how to protect your peace when outside pressure starts escalating conflict. We talk about grandparents family members negotiating property settlement, so-called "loans" during property disputes, mediation interference, coercive control via in-laws, and how to set boundaries without damaging your credibility. If you're feeling overwhelmed, ganged up on, or unsure how to manage extended family pressure  this episode is your permission slip to protect yourself. Legal Disclaimer:This episode contains general educational discussion only and is not legal advice. We are based in Australia and laws differ between countries. Always seek independent legal advice tailored to your personal circumstances before making decisions.  Family Violence & Safety Trigger Warning Disclaimer This episode includes discussion of family violence, coercive control and high-conflict dynamics.If you are experiencing family violence, intimidation, harassment or feel unsafe at any time, please seek support immediately. ⏱️ Episode Timeline for When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (What You Have to Respond To) 00:00 – Introduction: When Your Ex's Family Gets Involved What happens when parents, siblings or extended family step into your separation? 02:05 – How Family Dynamics Shift After Separation Why "blood is thicker than water" can suddenly feel very real. 05:35 – Do You Have to Respond to In-Laws Negotiating on Your Ex's Behalf? What you can ignore, what to document, and how to protect yourself. 08:10 – Grandparents' Rights Explained (Australia) When grandparents can see children and what your responsibility actually is. 14:15 – Gifts vs Loans in Property Settlement When a $100,000 "gift" suddenly becomes a claimed debt. 19:50 – Can Grandparents Demand Time If Your Ex Isn't Seeing the Kids? Understanding the best interests of the children and practical considerations. 24:20 – Family Members Pressuring or Manipulating Children How courts view this behaviour and what you can do. 27:10 – Divorce Mediation Agreements Changing After Family Influence Why outside pressure can derail settlements and how to manage it. 30:30 – Boundaries With Your Own Family During Divorce How to handle well-meaning but unhelpful advice and pressure. 31:45 – What You Can Control vs What You Can't Practical mindset shifts to protect your peace. 35:45 – "It's Not About Them" Why your focus must remain on you, your children, and your divorce case.   🔗 Links & Resources ● DIY Divorce Blueprint – Courses & Support www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol ● 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 ● Lifeline – 13 11 14 Related Episodes: ● Trash Talking – What To Do When Your Ex Badmouths You ● 10 Boundaries for a Healthy Divorce ● How to Create a Safety Plan ● Dealing With Narc Lies in Court ● When Your Ex Lies in Court Closing Reminder Divorce is hard enough without feeling like you're negotiating with an entire extended family.If this episode helped you feel clearer, calmer or more confident about setting boundaries during separation, please follow, rate and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find grounded, practical information when they need it most.And remember you are not responsible for managing everyone else's emotions.This is not about them.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You feel overwhelmed and don't know what the steps of the divorce process are You're separated (or thinking about separating) and want clarity on what happens next You're stuck in negotiations or dealing with a stonewalling, avoidant or controlling ex You want to understand mediation, arbitration, court filings, interim hearings and trials You're self-represented and need a clear, realistic roadmap of the family law process You want to feel calmer, in control, and informed about the journey ahead You're already in the court system and want to know what the upcoming stages really mean You want to avoid panic, surprises and fear of the unknown If you're going through separation, divorce or a parenting/property dispute in Australia, this episode will walk you through every major step in the family law process  from the moment of separation all the way to a final hearing. No jargon. No fear. No overwhelm. Just a clear explanation of what you may face and how long things typically take. We break down how to negotiate, when mediation works (and why it fails), what arbitration actually is, how to use deadlines and case law to manage a difficult ex, when court becomes necessary, what happens at each court stage, and how to avoid getting stuck for months or years. Whether you're at the very beginning or already halfway through, this roadmap will help you feel grounded and prepared. 📌 LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode is general education only — not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice for your specific situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Divorce Roadmap Overview: What to Expect From Separation to Trial A complete explanation of the stages ahead and why understanding the process matters. 00:38 – Meet the Hosts + Education-Only Disclaimer Why we give information, not advice — and how to use the episode wisely. 01:59 – Why Your Separation Date Matters (Especially Under One Roof) How timelines, contributions, and financial outcomes are affected. 03:45 – DIY Negotiations: Why a 'Signed Paper' Isn't Enough The trap so many people fall into — and how it can cost you later. 05:28 – Consent Orders & Financial Agreements Explained What makes an agreement legally binding and what the court checks for. 06:59 – Parenting vs Property Mediation: How They Work & How to Prepare Why combining both in one day often backfires. 10:55 – After Mediation Fails: Arbitration, Offers & Partial Agreements How to keep momentum instead of getting stuck. 13:28 – Stonewalling & Delay Tactics: Deadlines, Notice to File & Case Law Strategies to shift an avoidant or controlling ex. 19:03 – Filing in Court: What Documents You Need & What They Mean Affidavits, financial statements, notices of risk and more. 20:47 – Should You File Parenting & Property Together? The advantages and pitfalls. 22:03 – Using Court Filings as Negotiation Leverage Why an initiating application often triggers settlement. 23:11 – First Court Event Explained (It's Not a Trial!) What registrars do, what decisions they can make, and what they can't. 23:43 – PPP500 & Evatt List: What These Court Pathways Mean for You Faster lists for smaller pools and family violence matters. 25:52 – Interim Hearings: Urgent Parenting & Property Issues When the court steps in early. 28:02 – Court-Ordered Mediation: Reality Checks & Settlement Pressure The moment many cases resolve. 31:35 – Readiness Hearing: Preparing for Trial Final directions, valuations, and evidence. 33:11 – Final Trial: What Actually Happens in the Courtroom Cross-examination, timelines, outcomes and appeals. 36:37 – Big Picture Strategy: Stay Focused on Your Stage Why thinking too far ahead causes overwhelm. 40:09 – Costs Orders & Legal Abuse The consequences for bad behaviour in litigation. 41:58 – Wrap-Up: Tell It to the Judge + Course Info & Outro 🔗 Links & Resources ✨The Course: https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol ✨ Courses & Free Support Resources: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 💛 Support Services 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You feel stuck and unable to move forward after separating You're separated under one roof and nothing is changing Your stuck deciding whether to go to court next or just give up You're overwhelmed by the emotional load and decision fatigue You don't know whether to start with the house, the money, the kids or the legal steps You're waiting for the "right time" but it never seems to come You want clarity about why you feel frozen and what to do next You're scared of making a mistake or starting conflict You want a practical, compassionate explanation of why early separation feels like quicksand You need reassurance that you're not failing you're human PLEASE note Lyn's audio file at the end of the episode was lost so we have cobbled together what we had to finish the episode as we know so many of you listen each week so, sorry no embroidered cushion this week. Hopefully the tech will behave itself next week for you all.  Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control.  Legal Warning: this is not legal advice 📝 Episode Summary: Separated… but Stuck? The Chicken & Egg Problem Keeping You in Divorce Limbo If you've ever felt like you're separated but… nothing is moving, you're not alone. In this powerful episode, Laura and Lyn unpack the "Chicken & Egg Problem" of early divorce — that confusing, exhausting stage where every decision feels dependent on another decision, and you don't know which one you're meant to make first. Should you move out? Should you get legal help? Should you talk to the bank? Should you wait for your ex? Should you apply for parenting arrangements? Should you start disclosure? Should you sell the house? Should you stay for the kids? Everything feels tangled, and you feel frozen. We break down why this paralysis happens, why it's normal, and how small, strategic steps can help you get out of emotional and practical limbo. You'll hear examples from real separations, insights about overwhelm and avoidance, and the surprising reasons so many women stay "stuck" for months — or even years. This episode is your permission slip to take one small step, feel less afraid, and finally understand why your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. This episode contains general separation discussion, not legal advice.     ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 — Why Early Separation Feels Impossible: The Chicken & Egg Problem 01:05 — What Keeps Women Stuck in Divorce Limbo 02:28 — Emotional Overload, Fear & Decision Paralysis 04:50 — Separated Under One Roof: Why Nothing Changes 07:14 — "Where Do I Start?" Understanding the Overwhelm 10:40 — The Pressure to Have a Full Plan Before Taking Action 12:33 — Money Fear, Housing Fear & Losing Stability 15:55 — Why Conflict Avoidance Keeps You Frozen 17:48 — Waiting for the Perfect Moment (And Why It Won't Come) 20:22 — How to Take One Small Step Without Starting a War 23:15 — Using Information to Reduce Fear and Panic 26:44 — What You Can Control vs What You Can't 29:30 — Making Progress Even When You're Not Ready 32:01 — Reassurance for Anyone Feeling Stuck 35:14 — Final Encouragement: You Don't Have to Solve Everything Today     🔗 Links & Resources ✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable 👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz ✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools (We only send practical, supportive content — no fluff.) www.thedivorcecourse.com.au ✨ Safety & Support Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14   If this episode helped you feel seen, understood, or just a little less stuck, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Sharing this episode might give another woman the clarity she desperately needs.  

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're confused about why your divorce feels so hard You're not sure how to communicate or negotiate with your ex You suspect you're dealing with avoidance, conflict, or control or you are a people pleaser. You're tired of being blindsided and want clarity You want a divorce strategy that matches the actual dynamic you're in You want a downloadable, printable version of the quiz You love practical tools that help you feel calm, informed, and back in control You want to take the quiz and finally understand your ex's divorce behaviour Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control.  Legal Warning: this is not legal advice 📝 Episode Summary In this episode, Laura and Lyn guide you through the 20-question Divorce Personality Quiz, designed to help you identify the divorce pattern you're dealing with Your divorce type affects: your communication strategy your negotiation style whether mediation will work how to set boundaries what evidence you need how to emotionally protect yourself whether safety planning is appropriate You'll take the quiz with us live inside the episode and learn what each answer (A, B, C, or D) reveals about your ex's behaviour. This insight can transform your divorce experience by helping you understand what's really happening and why your current approach may or may not be working. And if you want the free downloadable PDF of the quiz, a printable results sheet, and access to our bonus email guide "How to Strategise Based on Your Divorce Type", head to: 👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (Join the newsletter and we'll send the printable straight to your inbox.) This episode includes general behavioural discussion, not legal advice. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Introduction: What Divorce Type Are You Dealing With? 00:36 Why Identifying Your Divorce Type Matters for Your Strategy 00:58 Overview of the Four Divorce Types: Amicable, Avoidant, High-Conflict & Controlling 01:14 How to Take the Divorce Personality Quiz 01:39 Meet Your Hosts and Episode Overview 02:11 Understanding Divorce Personality Types & Behaviour Patterns 03:15 Divorce Quiz Part 1: Decision-Making, Conflict & Communication 05:51 What Your Answers Mean: Interpreting the First Quiz Results 09:40 Divorce Quiz Part 2: Boundaries, Money Issues & Emotional Safety 19:05 Divorce Quiz Part 3: Rules, Power Imbalances & Information Control 25:23 Final Divorce Quiz Questions + Strategy Insights 30:08 Recognising Manipulative or Controlling Divorce Dynamics 31:41 How to Identify Your Divorce Type From Your Quiz Results 32:30 Amicable Divorce: Strengths, Risks & When It Fails 35:14 Avoidant Ex Partners: Why Progress Feels Impossible 38:23 High-Conflict Divorce Explained: Escalation, Triggers & Survival Strategies 41:16 Controlling or Coercive Ex Partners: Red Flags & Safety Considerations 44:40 How to Create a Safety Plan During Divorce 48:20 Helpful Resources, Support Services & Next Steps 52:49 Final Thoughts: Matching Your Strategy to Your Ex's Behaviour 🔗 Links & Resources ✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable 👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz ✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools (We only send practical, supportive content ) ✨ Safety & Support Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Episodes Mentioned 10 Boundaries You Should Set Up Before Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=Eb_uqTJnSbS2Vtyz80tBmQ   The Purple Book Episode (Coercive Control & Abuse Patterns) https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ccm01eMpJ3TMZa2uMaUMN?si=WJ7wQy9mTmKYhd2sTPiO0g   The Original "Divorce Personality Types" Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/1X89h1IBOUa0QFxiICIuwo?si=neoemW5URuubT8VYaGjlPw If this episode helped you finally understand the behaviour you've been dealing with, please follow, rate and review the podcast. And don't forget to grab your FREE quiz download  it's one of the most powerful tools to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and confidence.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're worried your custody or property case might end up eventually in court.  You are preparing for Family Court or worried your case might escalate You want to avoid mistakes that judges hate seeing in parenting or property matters You're dealing with a high-conflict ex or coercive control You're self-represented and want to understand what the court looks for You want to protect your credibility and stay child-focused You feel overwhelmed and want to understand how to present better in court You want to understand how Family Court judges make decisions If you're going through separation, divorce, or a parenting dispute in Australia, this episode will help you avoid the most common mistakes people make in the Family Court. These insights can make or break your credibility, influence parenting outcomes, and help you stay calm and strategic throughout the legal process. In this episode, we unpack 10 behaviours that can ruin your case — the things that damage cases, frustrate judges, increase legal costs, and affect how your evidence is viewed. Whether you're self-represented, considering mediation, managing a high-conflict ex, or worried about how your actions may be interpreted, this conversation will give you clarity on what the court expects from parents. Learn how to stay child-focused, how to avoid actions that look like parental alienation, how to communicate effectively, how to avoid sabotaging your own case, and why honesty, disclosure, and consistency matter so much. If you're feeling overwhelmed, emotional, or stuck in conflict, this episode offers guidance to help you stay grounded and organised. LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode contains general discussion only this is  not legal advice please always get independent legal advice as each situation is different.  Trigger Warning: This episode has some discussions of family violence.     ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Introduction: How to Avoid Mistakes That Hurt Your Family Court Case Overview of the most common behaviours that weaken parenting and property cases. 02:07 – Why Judges Prioritise Child-Focused Parenting in Family Court Understanding how child welfare drives decisions and how to demonstrate it clearly. 06:36 – Keeping Emotions Out of Family Court: What Judges Look For Why emotional reactions, venting and accusations can damage your credibility. 13:26 – Presenting Evidence Properly: What Counts in Family Court How to gather, organise and present evidence that the court will actually rely on. 16:59 – The Serious Consequences of Lying or Exaggerating in Court How dishonesty can destroy your case and impact parenting or property outcomes. 21:27 – Disclosure Rules in Property Settlement: What You MUST Provide Explaining financial disclosure obligations and what happens if you don't comply. 25:26 – Following Court Orders and Deadlines: Why Timing Matters How delays, missed tasks or ignoring directions reflect poorly on your case. 25:58 – Understanding Family Court Practice Directions (CPD Requirements) What the Central Practice Direction means for your behaviour and preparation. 28:40 – Narrowing the Issues Before Court: What Judges Expect You to Do Why bringing every problem to court backfires and how to refine your case. 33:19 – Avoiding Behaviour That Looks Like Parental Alienation How to protect your children and yourself without appearing to obstruct the other parent. 39:43 – Acting Reasonably in Family Court: How It Influences Outcomes Examples of unreasonable behaviour and why judges pay close attention to it. 42:03 – Courtroom Etiquette, Presentation and Final Takeaways How to conduct yourself, communicate effectively, and stay credible throughout your case.     🔗 Links & Resources Free Webinar https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/divorcewebinarregistration The Divorce Course Website – Courses & Support www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Dealing with Narc Lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=P-fwZYVSQxO7JnVs5yYJdw When your ex lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/2OpAGxXfx78iAO81TMPPxJ?si=wcN-tRFdSaSjGLU51fmV7w Overcoming disclosure delays  https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=PI-J7YtGTb6pFRKGa7KjdA Disclosure Deadlocks https://open.spotify.com/episode/2yrShRhq4jcGVuVDN6Jq6C?si=ZFmAHXmAT1-JS0neHjsDHQ Is your ex hiding assets  https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KbgLRFXB9r2rCz3vycZ98?si=nKf11LeYS_66Uzn003Ydug Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd False Accusations of Parental Alienation https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=jNYKY5cBTCatIXZpEHXisQ Handover Hell https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=UrHDcaRBTwuKpnVmWty-qA Family Reports https://open.spotify.com/episode/4k2Z4glD8WpY4dsqz6vn5Y?si=MMj_I2N5RlaT_5flBfZjMQ Court Etiquette  https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JOwxZOGxT182UOp8iqd8z?si=8ib6y9qLRvuD5n8AO4y46w 💛 Closing Reminder If this episode helped you feel more prepared or confident, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find clear, supportive information during their divorce or separation.  

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're going through DV, coercive control, divorce or separation You've survived DV and want to help other women going through it You feel alone, isolated, or unsure where to turn You want to hear about real support available for women in crisis You've lost hope and need to know good people still exist You want to understand what homelessness really looks like for women You want to connect with a service that listens without judgment You've wondered where to get help if you don't know where to start   📝 Episode Summary If you've ever felt invisible, silenced, or completely alone while living through domestic violence, coercive control, separation, or divorce this episode is for you. Today, Laura sits down with Jo West, the founder of 4 Voices, a remarkable charity supporting women experiencing domestic violence, financial abuse, homelessness, social isolation, and coercive control. This episode is different from our usual legal conversations it's a conversation about hope, humanity, and the power of connection when someone is going through hell and doesn't know where to turn. Jo shares the reality of what women face when they're living in fear, why so many are afraid to reach out, and how simple acts of kindness like someone showing up, listening, and seeing you can genuinely change the course of a woman's life. If you're struggling right now, this episode will remind you of something important: There are helpers. You are not alone. And there is support waiting for you. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains general discussion about domestic violence and support, not legal information. Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce ⏱️ Episode Timeline [00:00] Meet Four Voices: A Support Service for Women Facing DV & Crisis [01:00] Why Women Experiencing Coercive Control Often Feel Too Afraid to Reach Out [02:06] Hidden Homelessness: The Reality for Women Leaving Unsafe Homes [03:41] How Four Voices Uses Human Connection to Support Isolated Women [07:00] What Happens on a Four Voices Support Van Shift [09:04] A Story of Strength: One Woman Starting Over After 25 Years of Abuse [12:33] Financial Abuse, Survival Mode & Why Leaving Is So Hard [14:00] Why Some Women Get Turned Away From Services [16:57] A Phone-Based Support System Designed for Women Who Are Scared to Talk [18:55] Check-Ins, Consistency & Why They Matter for Recovery [20:40] How You Can Help: Volunteering, Corporate Support & Raising Awareness [23:50] Understanding the Hidden Crisis of Female Homelessness [27:23] Misconceptions About DV, Leaving, and Life After Abuse [30:41] Hope Stories: Courage, Connection & What Keeps Jo Going [33:30] Final Message for Anyone Feeling Alone or Hopeless   🔗 Links & Resources Four Voices Charity: https://www.4voices.org.au Instagram: @4voicesau 1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 If in danger, call 000 immediately in Australia   🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Safe Beds for Pets (RSPCA)   💛 Closing Reminder If this conversation brought you comfort or hope, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Sharing this episode could help another woman find the support she desperately needs.  

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're selling the family home during divorce or de facto separation A real estate agent has told you to renovate or stage before selling Your ex wants to delay settlement until renovations are finished You're stuck with a half-renovated or unfinished house You've already spent money on renovations and want to know if it "counts" Your ex is demanding reimbursement for renovations Parents or in-laws contributed money to renovations You're deciding whether to keep the house, sell it, or buy your ex out Renovations feel emotionally or financially overwhelming right now 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below.   📝 Episode Summary Should you renovate or stage the house when you're going through divorce or is it a costly mistake that keeps you stuck longer than you need to be? In this episode, Mum and I break down renovations, staging, and selling the family home during separation, and what actually matters in property settlements. We talk honestly about when spending money might make sense, when it won't, and how renovations are often used intentionally or not as a delay tactic or control mechanism. We cover staging versus maintenance, half-finished renovations, DIY disasters, family contributions, damage to property, and how the court really views all of it. Most importantly, we talk about how to decide whether renovations are worth the financial and emotional cost, and how to avoid getting trapped in a house  or a settlement that never seems to move forward. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below.   ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Should You Renovate Before Selling During Divorce? 00:40 Renovations During Divorce: Common Questions Answered 01:09 Legal and Financial Rules Around Renovations 02:03 Staging vs Renovations: What Actually Adds Value? 05:52 Renovation Traps: Delays, Control and Emotional Attachment 08:41 Half-Finished Renovations and Unsellable Homes 13:32 Renovations as Non-Financial Contributions Explained 16:49 Family Loans, Gifts and Renovation Contributions 23:14 Property Damage, Wastage and How Courts Value Homes 23:47 Keep, Sell or Buy Out the Family Home? 24:51 Renovation Reimbursements: Do You Have to Pay Them Back? 26:34 Renovating During Separation: What to Do and What to Avoid 28:51 How Family Law Courts Determine Property Value 30:02 Renovations and Consent Orders: What Courts Will and Won't Enforce 35:22 Property Valuations in Divorce: What Courts Accept 40:04 Final Thoughts: Avoiding Renovation Mistakes in Divorce   🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Related Episodes Selling Your House During Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YUc34CVu6aCmunjQT1Sp6?si=Aks8s1YMTguzG-wyYO33Xw Property Settlement Explained https://open.spotify.com/episode/5WcJwbOkw7UcCdla48EpXj?si=JRrkI8pZRdu6EUn0h8gncw Financial Abuse After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wxVtk6TOSCgqCJikfk6LD?si=Uxr0alr8TeKwX-WvzKx6Cg   🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14   📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation.   🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who might be stuck in a renovation trap right now.  

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're separating or divorcing someone with narcissistic traits Your ex keeps changing tactics and you feel like you're always one step behind You've experienced love-bombing, guilt, threats, or emotional manipulation Your ex is running smear campaigns or trying to control the narrative Money, disclosure, or property settlement keeps getting delayed Your children are being pulled into adult conflict Your ex is using the legal system as a weapon You feel like the abuse didn't end after separation You want to know what's coming next  before it happens 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal or psychological advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 📝 Episode Summary Divorcing a narcissist isn't just difficult  it's predictable. In this episode, Mum and I walk you through the seven phases most people experience when separating from someone with narcissistic traits, based on what we see every single day in real cases. We talk about how tactics have evolved, why the mask eventually drops, and how emotional manipulation turns into smear campaigns, financial control, legal abuse, and ongoing chaos even after court ends. We're not diagnosing anyone, and this isn't about labelling. It's about pattern recognition. Once you understand the phases, you can stop blaming yourself, protect your boundaries, and make informed decisions instead of reacting in survival mode. 📌 This episode contains discussions around family violence. Support numbers are listed below. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Divorcing a Narcissist – What to Expect & Why It's Different 01:50 Narcissistic Traits in Divorce and Separation 02:34 Phase One: Love Bombing, Guilt Tripping & Emotional Manipulation 03:50 How Narcissists Use Legal Delays and Manipulation 07:51 Phase Two: Control Tactics, Hoovering & Threats 11:57 Setting Boundaries When Divorcing a Narcissist 14:22 Phase Three: Smear Campaigns & Image Management Tactics 16:16 How to Protect Yourself Before Things Escalate 18:23 The Financial Motives Behind 50/50 Parenting Claims 18:36 Unethical Family Court Reports & Image Control 19:54 Social Media Smear Campaigns and Reputation Control 22:18 Financial Abuse Through Control and Delay Tactics 26:18 Using Children as Pawns in High-Conflict Divorce 28:47 Manipulating the Legal System After Separation 30:48 Post-Separation Abuse: Chaos and Control After Court 32:42 Final Support, Safety Planning & What to Do Next   🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Episodes Mentioned The Narcissist Playbook 10 Boundaries You Must Set in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=0tfzIRFrTuWSfrywenG4lA What About Their Belongings? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bPd3wWLQh3pzQmL2KCR0v?si=ABBaDvMVRgqnkvfXHJh66A Protecting Your Role as Primary Carer https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oZAEkj18NEcUfJPXP0FOT?si=PR8-zKyXRru7oVeW2Allew Legal & Financial Abuse After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=ZkP-KquxREeTCyQPk8I-TA What If Your Ex Lies in Court? https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=sQjxVlNSTm2wnaHQdWxdlA Safety Planning After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/5hMmTS99LaeUWOXSxKMx1D?si=Y98mBgDoTiK1LQud-tr9BQ DARVO in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=mDoKfN3fQWONekpLUQflXg False allegations of Parental Alienation https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=5z2-pibvRKavyrPkMeuMIw Resources "Before You Go" Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 RSPCA Safe Beds for Pets (state dependent) 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it — you never know who else needs to hear this before they get blindsided.