Becoming Both

In this episode I’m back after an unplanned break sharing a life update. The last few months have felt heavy. Mental health has taken work. Money has felt tight. The cost of living is no joke and juggling our small business, nanny shifts and school logistics has been a lot.The kids are in big seasons too. Jamie’s riding those intense leap phases that flip the whole house upside down, Sophie is deep in her independent two year old era, and the sibling bickering is next level. I’m trying to be intentional with one on one time and keep everyone afloat.There are good things coming. A mum’s retreat. Bali. A date night. More gym. More us time. And I’m ready to properly lean back into the podcast with more guests and an honest chat with T Squiz about mental load, resentment and intimacy.Let’s stay connected 🤍If you loved this episode, the best way to support the podcast is by following the show and leaving a quick 5 star review. It helps more mums find these real, honest conversations.You can find me over on Instagram at @doulamarley where I share all things motherhood, birth, relationships and the behind the scenes of real life. You can also connect with the podcast page at @becomingboth.Prefer email? Reach me anytime at marley@motheringthemama.com.au — I genuinely love hearing your thoughts, feedback and story.Thanks for being here. It means more than you know 🤍

Trigger warning: This episode discusses termination for medical reasons, pregnancy loss, and infant death. Please take care while listening and pause if you need to.In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m joined by Jess for a conversation that is incredibly complex, honest, and ultimately a beautiful tribute to her first son, Jasper.Jess is married to Dylan and is mum to Sage (2). She’s also currently pregnant with their third baby at 33 weeks. But before Sage, before this pregnancy, there was Jasper.. a deeply loved and very wanted little boy whose life, although short, has shaped their family forever.Jess shares their journey through IVF using donor sperm, and how everything changed during the 20-week morphology scan when doctors first noticed bilateral club feet. What followed were weeks that many parents unfortunately know all too well: urgent appointments with maternal fetal medicine specialists, an amniocentesis, MRIs, and meetings with genetic counsellors. Eventually they received a rare genetic diagnosis with only a handful of documented cases and increasingly severe prognoses.Jess and Dylan were faced with an unimaginable decision.. one no parent ever expects to make, and ultimately chose a termination for medical reasons so their sweet Jasper wouldn’t suffer.Jess speaks so openly about that experience. From the feticide procedure, to the induction and birth of Jasper at 26 weeks, to the precious time they spent with him in hospital, taking photos, holding him, creating memories, receiving a heartbeat teddy, and saying goodbye with the support of a cold cot. She also gives us insight to the moment of leaving the hospital without him, and all the emotions that can come with pregnancy after loss continue to weave their way through life and parenting.Jasper remains part of their family. He is spoken about, remembered, and loved. This episode is a gentle tribute to him, and to all the babies who are deeply loved and missed.If this conversation brings up anything for you, or if you or someone you love has experienced termination for medical reasons or pregnancy loss, please know you’re not alone and support is available.Some organisations that offer support include: 🤍 Red Nose Australia – counselling and grief support for pregnancy, stillbirth and infant loss 🤍 Bears of Hope – peer support, resources and community for bereaved families 🤍 Sands Australia – support groups and resources for miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal loss 🤍 ARC Australia – specialised support for parents facing or who have experienced termination for medical reasons🤍 Red Tree Foundation - Supports the health and wellbeing of bereaved parents by the provision of free professional grief counselling and bereavement support to any parent who is affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or child from conception up to 17 years of age.If you’re listening and carrying your own grief, please know your baby matters and your story deserves space too.And Jess, thank you for trusting us with Jasper’s story. He will always be part of your family, and now part of this conversation too.

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m talking about resentment in motherhood.As a mum of two under five, this is something I know really well. I start by sharing a little life update about hosting my first ever mothers’ retreat (still can’t believe that’s happening), and then we get into the real stuff.Because resentment can show up even when you have a supportive, involved partner.Sometimes it's amazing to think we aren't MORE resentful of motherhood, right? The mental load, sleep deprivation, the lack of village, the identity shift.. feeling constantly needed but not always seen and that can fester if we don't find ways to move through it.I chit chat about how resentment can show up as snapping, irritability, pulling away, burnout, or those quiet thoughts of wanting to escape for a bit. And honestly, it doesn’t just get directed at our partners.. sometimes it’s towards our kids, other mums, work, or the expectations that come with being a mother.The biggest thing I wanted to share is that resentment is information.It usually points to an unmet need.So we talk about naming it without shame, getting curious about what’s underneath it, communicating it clearly (and kindly), and what to do if you feel dismissed when you try to speak up.Because when resentment sits there unresolved, it slowly impacts connection!! Especially and including intimacy.This one is honest and I hope you love it!Come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth - I would love to chat.A 5 star review would mean the world xx

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m joined by Erin, a registered psychologist and mum to a 15 month old, for a raw, honest chat about the real side of motherhood. The 2am wake ups, the daycare guilt, the identity shift, the comparison spiral and that constant feeling of not doing enough.From a psychologist’s lens, Erin unpacks the difference between baby blues, postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression, what intrusive thoughts actually are, and when it’s time to reach out for support. We talk therapy options, practical grounding tools, and how hard access and affordability can be for mums.Erin also shares her deeply personal experience of two pregnancy losses while still parenting, and what it looks like to grieve while showing up every day.This one is warm, heavy, validating and real. If you’ve ever thought “is this normal?” this episode is for you. You are not crazy, you are not failing, and you are definitely not alone.If this episode resonated with you, I would be so grateful if you could take a minute to leave a 5 star review. It honestly helps the podcast reach more mums who need to hear these conversations and it means the world to me.You can find me over on Instagram at @doulamarley where I share more real life chats about motherhood, birth and relationships, or you can email me anytime at marley@motheringthemama.com.au. I genuinely love hearing your thoughts, feedback and stories.If this episode brought up anything for you around maternal mental health, please don’t sit with it alone. In Australia you can speak to your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan and access subsidised sessions with a psychologist. You can also contact PANDA on 1300 726 306 for perinatal anxiety and depression support, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 if you need immediate crisis support. If you are in danger or at risk, call 000.Reaching out is a sign of strength, not failure. You deserve support just as much as anyone else.

Welcome back to Becoming Both! I am so excited to have the lovely Mary from Nourished Bites By Mama Mez join me, an amazing holistic nutrition consultant specialising in pre and postnatal care. Mary shares how she went from architecture to building her beautiful business and why supporting mums through whole-food nutrition became her thing.We get into starting solids, baby-led weaning versus purées (yes, you’re allowed to do both), and why consistency and patience matter way more than doing it perfectly. We also chat about sugar, kids’ behaviour, and how tuning into our children’s hunger and fullness cues can save you from turning every meal into a power struggle. We also deep dive into why the patterns our parents showed us and the ones we show our children matter deeply when it comes to forming healthy relationships with food,For the mums, we talk nourishment that goes beyond survival mode. Why coffee alone is not a personality trait (rude, but true), how small tweaks like actually eating breakfast or throwing together a smoothie can change your whole day, and why feeding yourself properly is not selfish, it’s necessary! Espesh if you're breastfeeding!f you’re a mum overwhelmed when it comes to introducing solids, trying to keep tiny humans alive while also remembering to eat something green, this one’s for you.A 5 star review means the world! You can come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth - I would love to connect! x

Hey friends, welcome back to Becoming Both ✨This episode is a classic “life lately” brain dump where motherhood meets being a human with thoughts, feelings, and zero chill some days. I’m sharing updates from nannying life, how we’re trying (keyword: trying) to be better with family budgeting, and what it’s like parenting kids with very different needs under one roof.I also chat about my ADHD diagnosis and the very glamorous journey of medication side effects (spoiler: not glamorous at all). We talk body image after pregnancy, the weird relationship you have with your body once it’s grown humans, and the honest reality of keeping intimacy alive when your calendar is full and your energy is not. This ep has a lot about sex tbh.Towards the end, I answer your questions on things like timing a second baby, navigating in-laws without losing your mind, and all those “am I doing this right?” thoughts we all have. I also share some practical tips for anyone curious about starting their own doula business and what I’ve learned the hard way.We finish up with a little reminder to take care of yourself, soak up the small moments, and give yourself credit for what you’re doing even on the CRAZY days.This episode is perfect listening for the car, the couch, or hiding from your kids for five minutes ✌️Find me over at insta @doulamarley @becomingboth where I discuss all things motherhood, birth, pregnancy, life and relationships.Giving me a 5 star review really helps this channel and I am so appreciative of it!

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Becoming Both 🤍In this episode, I start by chatting about how nice it is to have T home and just how much he actually does for our family. Having him away really highlighted everything he carries, and I was so glad I could support him taking some time for himself after all he gives to us. I am looking forward to my 2 night stay in a hotel this weekend!Then we get right into parenting values and routines. I share what matters most to me in our house, and I also asked other mums over on Instagram @doulamarley to share what’s important to them too. The responses were so varied and honestly hope you feel way better about how different we all do this! I see it so much in my experiences babysitting and nannying.Things get a little spicy when we move into parenting “icks” 👀 which definitely created a bit of controversy and a lot of opinions. Not everyone agreed (shock), but it made for a really interesting and very real conversation.We finish on the best note, talking about the things we genuinely admire about other mums. This part was super wholesome and such a good reminder that mums are pretty bloody amazing.Find me over at insta @doulamarley @becomingboth where I discuss all things motherhood, birth, pregnancy, life and relationships.Giving me a 5 star review really helps this channel and I am so appreciative of it!

n this episode, I’m joined by Tess for a conversation that sits very close to my heart: what it’s like to mother without a mother.I was so grateful to finally have Tess on the podcast to talk openly about her estranged relationship with her mum and how that has shaped her own journey into motherhood. Tess shares honestly about the complexity of being completely estranged from her mother for over 12 years, and how becoming a mum herself brought up old wounds, unanswered questions, and grief she didn’t even realise she was carrying.We talk about the emotional layers of mothering without that maternal support so many people rely on. The guilt, the expectations, the longing, and the quiet sadness that can show up around moments like pregnancy, postpartum, illness, and milestones where you suddenly realise there’s no one to call. Tess reflects on how having her daughter, Marni, shifted her perspective on her own childhood and deepened her commitment to breaking generational cycles.We also get into the very real, practical side of things. How not having a mum impacts the logistics of daily life, and why building a support system becomes so important. Tess shares why she chose to hire a doula to help fill some of that gap and how powerful it was to feel supported during such a vulnerable time.We touch on the emotional heaviness of days like Mother’s Day and other family-focused milestones, and how complicated they can feel when your experience of “mother” doesn’t fit the narrative. Throughout the conversation, we come back to the hope and healing that can exist in creating loving, secure relationships with our own children.This episode is honest, tender, and deeply validating. If you’re navigating motherhood without a mother, whether through estrangement, loss, or complicated family dynamics, this conversation is for you. You are not alone and it's bloody hard. For those who might not be able to relate, I hope this gives you an insight into the hardship of trying to mother without a blue print.I would love to connect! Come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingbothTo support the pod, it would mean the world to me if you left a 5 star review xx

In today’s solo episode, I’m opening up about my childhood and what it was like growing up as the daughter of a heroin addict.I talk about my mum’s addiction, from finding her unresponsive as a young child to navigating the long-term emotional impact that comes with loving a parent who is unwell. I share how those early experiences shaped my sense of safety, my relationships, and the way I learned to survive emotionally.We explore the grief that comes with accepting that a parent may never be who you needed them to be, and the process of holding compassion without losing yourself in the process. I reflect on how those experiences still live in me and how motherhood has brought a deeper awareness of the cycles I want to break.This episode is tender, honest, and deeply personal. My hope is that sharing my story creates space for understanding, healing, and connection 🤍

This episode is a real, open reflection on what 2025 looked like for us and what we’re intentionally carrying (and leaving behind) as we head into 2026.We talk about life lately from soaking up the beauty of the Adelaide Hills to carving out a simple date day and remembering that we’re partners, not just parents. We also get into money, budgeting, and how uncomfortable that topic still feels for me. I share honestly about how my childhood experiences around money make it hard to talk about now, and how avoiding those conversations can create tension if you don’t face them together. It’s messy, vulnerable, and very real.We dive into how challenging it is to maintain a relationship and personal goals while raising young kids, and I open up about the bittersweet feeling of saying goodbye to the season of small children. There’s grief there, for the babies, the cuddles, the version of me that lived in survival mode, but also a quiet hope and excitement about stepping out of the trenches and into the next chapter with a little more space to breathe.We talk about the importance of sitting down with your partner and actually reflecting on what you both want and don’t want moving forward. Having the uncomfortable conversations before resentment builds. Saying the things out loud instead of letting them fester in the background. This season demands honesty, even when it’s hard.I also share more about my work as a nanny, my long-term dream of becoming a counsellor, and how much clarity has come from reflecting on the year that was. We chat about the women’s retreat I’ve been planning, why it feels so aligned right now, and how deeply it’s rooted in the need for rest, connection, and support for mums.This episode really captures the ups and downs of life, business, relationships, and motherhood. It’s about listening to your inner voice, setting achievable goals that actually fit this season, and acknowledging what you’ve survived and grown through even if it doesn’t look big on the outside.We finish by sharing more about the upcoming women’s retreat and why investing in yourself, your wellbeing, and community isn’t indulgent, it’s essential.If you’re feeling reflective, stretched, emotional about closing one chapter and cautiously hopeful about the next, this one’s for you 🤍

In this episode, I’m reflecting on that strange and funny space between Christmas and New Year’s. The routines are gone, the days blur together, and parenting somehow feels even more relentless IMO but there’s also so much fun and fam time woven through it all. I talk about the chaos of being out of routine, the constant demands of motherhood, and the pure joy of watching my kids experience the excitement of Christmas! We had such a lovely day and I hope you guys too. Also can we talk about how much easier parenting is alongside others with similar age children??I open up about family dynamics over the holidays, the gratitude I feel for a supportive partner, and the quiet loneliness that can creep in when you don’t really have a village around you. I also share some honest financial reflections after the festive season, what the holidays highlighted for me, and how I’m approaching the year ahead with more intention from budgeting differently to teaching my kids about gratitude.There’s also a little update on our home renovations and how creating a space that actually works for our family can have a bigger impact than we realise! We are so in love with the change of our space and so grateful we could do a kitchen reno. I look forward to bringing out more eps in 2026, I have SO many topics flowing through my brain and always appreciate your discussion and diagloue.A review, comment or DM is always SO appreciated and means the world. Find me over at DoulaMarley or BecomingBoth on insta.

In this episode, I’m talking about the struggles of relationship distance that sneaks in after kids. Often it's actually not because you don’t love each other, but because you’re exhausted af, touched out, constantly interrupted, and carrying way more than you ever expected to. The distance that over time, feels super tense and that it's a long way back.I share some tips on how to start honest conversations when there’s obvious disconnect, even when it feels uncomfortable, emotional, or long overdue. We talk about the real pressures that come with parenting and partnership. In-laws causing friction (especially if you're partner is leaving you out to dry), the financial reality of feeling stuck in this economy, and how resentment will fester if it’s left to rot in silence.I also get into intimacy. When it’s been a long time between touch, closeness, or feeling desired, and how to rebuild connection without forcing it or pretending everything’s fine. Especially when kids leave you zero space to even finish a sentence, let alone have a deep conversation but also how important it is to understand that most intimacy for women starts outside of the bedroom.I’m not an expert. I’m not here to fix your relationship. I’m just someone willing to say the quiet parts out loud and create space for the conversations so many of us are having behind closed doors or asking for advice on Facebook forums.If what you’re experiencing is abuse, this episode isn’t the support you need and you deserve help. If you’re in Australia, you can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for confidential support, or speak with your GP or a trusted professional.Come find me on Instagram at @doulamarley and @becomingboth. I truly love hearing your thoughts, messages, and feedback, and your reviews mean more than you know 🤍

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m jumping into a big, chatty gift guide full of last-minute ideas and inspiration you can save for future birthdays, teachers’ gifts, Christmas… all of it. If you’re like me and suddenly realise you need a present tomorrow, this one’s for you.I’m also sharing a little life update, the new kitchen is finally finished (hallelujahhhh), we’re getting ready for our Port Elliot trip, and I chat about the usual mix of joys, chaos, and emotional whiplash that comes with motherhood.Then we get into the fun stuff: ✨ Educator gifts, practical, personal, and not another throwaway item. ✨ Kids’ gifts, broken down into ages 2–5 and 5–8, with options that won’t end up ignored in a toy box. ✨ Partner + friend gifts, from useful kitchen bits to cute personalised ideas, with both budget-friendly and more luxe options.It’s basically a big list of things I love giving, have given, or secretly want for myself ha!If you have any go-to gifts I need to know about, send them my way.. I love discovering new ideas.Find me on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth. A review or comment is so appreciated!

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m getting deeeeep into all the identity shifts that come with motherhood - the physical, the emotional, the mental and spirtual.I chat through my own experiences of becoming a mum of two and how it’s changed literally every part of my life. My priorities are different, my relationships feel different, and even the way I see myself has completely shifted. Between pregnancy, birth, postpartum, sleep deprivation, and just having a bazillion things to do.. it’s so blooming easy to lose pieces of yourself without even noticing.I chat all the emotional and physical changes, the hormones, the mum guilt, the body image moments, the questioning, the second-guessing, the EVERYTHING. And then there’s the career side of things… the hobbies we used to have before children took over our entire identities. I still cannot remember what mine were. I know I had them though lol.And because these identity shifts don’t just happen on the inside, I chat about how your role within your family changes too. Suddenly you’re the planner, the emotional support person, the snack organiser, the routine keeper, the everything-holder. It’s a lot to carry, and sometimes we don’t get enough space to acknowledge it.I share some journal prompts to help you reflect on your own experience because I know how much it helps for me and sometimes writing it down is the only way to make sense of all the feelings. These prompts are meant to help you reconnect with yourself, honour the version of you before kids, and appreciate the version of you nowAnd honestly, I just want you to know how grateful I am that you’re here, listening, and sharing this space with me. This little community means so much to me, all the DMs, all the shared stories, all the “me too” moments. I love it all!If you want to chat more or share what resonated with you from this episode, come find me on Instagram at @doulamarley and @becomingboth. I genuinely love hearing from you.

In this solo episode of Becoming Both, I’m basically just chatting your ear off about life lately! A lil about motherhood, work, and all the chaos in between. I talk about what it’s been like juggling part-time nannying, my own babies, the podcast, my doula work, and this little dream I have of studying to become a counsellor (because clearly I don’t have enough on my plate already).I share what our family is planning for next year.. which honestly looks like a whole lot of shuffling things around, tightening the budget, and me trying to pretend I’m good at “mindful spending” while also convincing myself that 2 coffees a day count as self-care. Can anyone relate? Cost of living is absolutely unhinged right now, so we’re just doing our best like you all and it's time to tighten the old belts.I also dive into the weird, invisible pressures that working mums carry (frankly it's bullshit) and that feeling of never doing enough, even when you’re literally doing everything and MORE. And of course, I chat about what’s coming up for the podcast, future guests I’m excited about, and the personal goals I’m trying to hype myself up for.It’s random AF and basically just me having a yarn with you.

In this episode of Becoming Both, I sit down with Shauna Watson (@Motherly.Doula), a mum of two, to chat about what life can really be like when you end up with two babies under two. It’s one of those conversations where everything is discussed as she opens up about finding out she was pregnant again sooner than she expected, the guilt that hit her hard, and the mix of emotions that came with trying to mentally prepare for another newborn while she was still deep in the trenches with her first.We talk about her postpartum journey, which was far from easy! She shares how isolating and overwhelming it felt, especially while dealing with a colicky baby who cried constantly and a toddler who was also going through big feelings and big behaviours. She gets really honest about the moments where she questioned herself, the days she cried in the shower, and the nights where she felt like she had nothing left to give. It’s raw and emotional, but in the most relatable way.At the same time, there’s this beautiful shift in her story. She talks about the pride she feels now, how strong she became without even realizing it, how she learned to show herself more grace, and how touching it’s been watching her kids slowly become each other's little best friends. You can hear how much love she has for them, even in the hardest moments.We recorded this because so many mums go through these feelings in silence and I have had SO many mums show interest in this story as it was also their reality. This episode is meant to feel like a big exhale, a reminder that if you’re struggling, you’re not broken and you’re definitely not alone, you're just dealing with something bloody hard. Shauna and I hope it brings comfort and validation to anyone who’s been in the thick of newborn-and-toddler life and just needs to hear another mum say, “Yep, this is hard… and you’re doing better than you think.”Find me over on insta @becomingboth @doulamarley and find the lovely Shuana over at @motherly.doulaI hope you love this episode! Please leave a 5 star review or a comment to share your thoughts x

In this episode of Becoming Both, Tyron and I chat about what it really feels like trying to balance who I am as a person while also being a mum and a partner. We share some very real (and sometimes funny) stories about raising kids, juggling the house, and trying to stay connected in the middle of the chaos.We get into how our love languages actually play out in real life, what we both need to feel supported, and how we deal with tricky moments without completely losing it. It’s honest, a bit messy, and very us.I’d love to hear how other couples navigate this stuff too, so feel free to share your thoughts or send through feedback after you listen.

In this episode, I dive into what it’s really like navigating motherhood without a traditional support system or “village.” I talk about the challenges of raising young children with minimal help from family and friends, and I reflect on my own journey—growing up without my mum, having limited support from my dad, and figuring out how to do this whole parenting thing mostly on my own.I explore how so many modern parents are in the same boat, missing the community support that previous generations had. I chat about what it means to build your own “village,” whether that’s through family, friends, or the people you intentionally bring into your life.I also share insights from other mums and grandmothers about how parenting has changed, and how much clearer communication and mutual understanding we need across generations. And I get into the importance of both emotional support and practical help—whether that’s asking directly, outsourcing when needed, or connecting through community groups, playgroups, or online spaces.I wrap up by reflecting on some of the real, practical steps we can take to create a supportive network, and the importance of recognising what we need and actually asking for it.Find me over at @becomingboth @doulamarleyWould appreciate so much if you could leave me a review!Got a topic you'd love to hear? Touch base at marley@motheringthemama.com.au

In this episode of Becoming Both, I sit down with my first-ever guest (besides Tyron, who barely counts, soz babe, the lovely Erin Hawksworth, an Adelaide doula and mum of two. And what a wonderful chat it was!We dive straight into her motherhood story: the highs, the heartbreaks, the healing, and everything in between. She opens up about her first birth, which was traumatic and nothing like what she hoped for and then contrasts it with her second birth, a powerful, transformative home birth that helped her rebuild trust in her body and in herself. She is beautifully open about the dark days that followed her first birth and just how unkind the thoughts in own mind can be when we are suffering with postpartum depression.We also talk about her miscarriage and how that experience shaped the way she approached pregnancy, birth, and support the next time around. Erin is so refreshingly honest about postpartum depression and what it actually looks like when you're in the thick of it. She also shares why real postpartum planning matters (because “she’ll be right” is not a plan) and how asking for help can literally change everything.To wrap it up, we chat through the beautiful work she’s doing now, birth support, education, postpartum care, Reiki, all delivered with her signature calm, grounding energy.It’s raw, real, and such a powerful reminder that every mum’s story is layered and valid. I’m so excited to share this one with you.

In this episode, I’m back on the mic with my favourite reluctant co-host—Tyron. We dive into the beautiful chaos of motherhood, identity, and trying to survive a rainy day trapped inside with kids.I chat about everything from disastrous family photo shoots to the big, emotional question on my mind lately: do we go for baby number three? My heart is screaming yes, while Tyron is… let’s just say doing the maths and feeling the stress. We unpack what a third child would mean for us, our relationship, our routines, and the two little humans we already adore.I also open up about my previous pregnancies and the pressure so many mums feel around birth and what our stories “should” look like.I would love to hear all about your journey when it came to a third or subsequent baby - how did you make the decision? How is it now? As always I love to hear your thoughts, feedback and how you’ve navigated family planning in your own life.Find me over on insta @doulamarley @becomingboth and I look forward to chatting soon!