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PolySoCal — your invitation to look behind closed doors and into the real worlds, bedrooms, and living rooms of ethical non-monogamy. Whether you're just beginning to explore or already living this lifestyle, you'll find something here: real voices, honest stories, and grounded insights from couples and polycules navigating love, growth, and connection beyond the traditional mold.
We talk about what it actually means to practice ENM—with care, clarity, and consent. From communication tools and emotional challenges to joy, jealousy, conflict, breakthroughs, and deep relational wins, this podcast is your companion in learning, evolving, and staying connected through it all.
Come curious. Leave connected.
39 Episodes
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In this roundtable episode of PolySoCal, the group takes an honest look at the harder side of polyamory. While the community often celebrates the freedom and connection that poly relationships can bring, the panel digs into the realities that come with it. Jealousy, insecurity, heartbreak, communication struggles, and the emotional work required to maintain multiple relationships are all part of the conversation. Through personal stories and candid discussion, the group explores why people co...
In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel explores a deceptively simple question: can people move in and out of poly relationships and communities, or does belonging create deeper responsibilities? The conversation looks at how connection, identity, and commitment intersect in non monogamous spaces. Panelists share personal experiences about stepping away from relationships, returning to community, and navigating the tension between personal freedom and emotional accountability. The discussion ...
In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes back Dr. Joli Hamilton for a deeper conversation about love languages, attachment needs, and how people experience connection in relationships. The discussion explores the limitations of rigid love language categories and how emotional needs shift based on context, life experience, and personal growth. Through personal stories and expert insight, the panel examines how curiosity, communication, and self awareness allow partners to better understand and supp...
In this episode, the PolySoCal panel takes a focused look at three emotions central to polyamorous relationships: compersion, envy, and jealousy. The conversation explores how these feelings differ, how they often overlap, and how timing, communication, and emotional awareness shape the way they impact relationships. Through personal experiences, the group examines how jealousy can signal unmet needs, how envy can arise from exclusion rather than fear of loss, and how compersion can develop o...
In this deep dive episode, Max shares his personal journey through submission, identity, and self discovery. He speaks openly about his experience with hypnosis, kink, and emotional connection, explaining how submission is not about weakness, but about trust, consent, and mutual respect. The conversation explores demisexuality, the importance of emotional rapport, and how personal growth often comes from confronting uncertainty and embracing authenticity. This episode offers an honest l...
In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Kevin Anthony (Certified Sexologist, Tantra Counselor, NLP Practitioner, and host of The Love Lab Podcast) for an open, practical conversation about intimacy, communication, and emotional connection. Kevin breaks down common challenges like performance anxiety, delayed orgasm, finishing too quickly, and how porn conditioning impacts real relationships. The panel shares personal experiences while Kevin offers grounded tools around arousal awareness, partner ...
In this deep dive episode, PolySoCal welcomes back Dr. Deborah Lukovich for a wide-ranging conversation about dreams, desire, projection, and the unconscious forces shaping our relationships. Dr. Lukovich explores how dream imagery, sexual symbolism, and recurring emotional patterns act as data points from the psyche rather than literal messages. Through personal stories and live analysis, the discussion reframes attraction, fear, fantasy, and intimacy as invitations toward greater self-aware...
In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Brianna Bass, therapist and board certified clinical sexologist, for a deep, practical conversation about burnout, intimacy, nervous system regulation, and how relationship patterns show up under stress. Brianna shares insight from her neuroscience based approach, helping the panel unpack pursuer withdraw dynamics, emotional fatigue, boundaries, and how partners can become either energy drains or energy reservoirs. The group explores real world challenges i...
In this episode, PolySoCal returns for a deeper, more personal conversation with Dr. Joli Hamilton, exploring individuation, depth psychology, meaning making, and how these concepts intersect with polyamory and modern relationships. Dr. Joli unpacks what individuation really means, how unconscious material shapes our choices, and why polyamory can function as an individuation path rather than simply a relationship structure. The discussion moves through Jungian psychology, the role of culture...
In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Dr. Joli Hamilton, a depth psychologist, relationship coach, and AASECT - certified sex educator whose doctoral research focuses on jealousy and consensual non monogamy. The panel explores what jealousy actually is, how it shows up in the body, and why the healthiest long-term approach is not suppression or immediate reframing, but naming it, understanding its “flavor,” and building tools for emotional regulation. Dr. Joli introduces practical concepts like...
In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel is joined by Dr. Deborah Lukovich, depth psychology coach, author, and host of the Dose of Depth podcast. The conversation explores depth psychology, the unconscious, midlife unraveling, projection, shadow work, sexuality, spirituality, and how these concepts show up in relationships, including ethical non monogamy. Through listener questions and real-life reflections, Dr. Lukovich explains how emotional triggers, attraction, jealousy, body experiences,...
In this episode, the PolySoCal panel explores a big question: Is ethical non monogamy on the rise, and could it actually change the world? The conversation looks at cultural shifts, generational differences, accessibility through the internet, and how acceptance varies by geography and social environment. Panelists discuss whether ENM is becoming more visible versus truly more common, how younger generations approach relationships differently, and whether social and economic pressures influen...
In this episode, the PolySoCal panel explores the difference between structured time and unstructured time in polyamorous relationships, and why both matter. The conversation digs into intentionality, spontaneity, coexisting versus connecting, and how different kinds of time can fill different emotional needs. Through personal examples involving dating, cohabitation, errands, house swaps, and day-to-day life, the group examines how structured time often centers around intentional connection, ...
In this episode of PolySoCal, we welcome relationship expert Jim Fleckenstein for an in-depth conversation on emotional intelligence, jealousy, conflict resolution, and communication within polyamorous and non-traditional relationships. Rather than a roundtable of shared experiences, this episode centers on thoughtful questions from the panel and practical, experience-based insight from Jim. Topics include managing emotional reactions, understanding jealousy as information rather than failure...
This milestone episode celebrates 25 weeks of honest conversations, community bonding, and emotional evolution on the PolySoCal Podcast. The cast reflects on how being part of the show has changed them from deeper communication and personal confidence to stronger connections both inside and outside their relationships. Together they explore how vulnerability has strengthened friendships, how sharing stories helps dismantle shame, and how this podcast has become a haven for those learning to l...
This episode dives into the chaotic world of wingmanning and wingwomaning in polyamorous dating. The cast shares real-life stories of how helping a partner flirt can easily turn into blocking them instead. There is a strong mix of humor and truth as the group explores what enthusiastic consent looks like in public spaces — and how jealousy, obliviousness, and possessiveness can shape the night. There are no conclusions, no clean lessons — just funny and relatable moments that make the poly da...
This week’s PolySoCal conversation centered around gratitude — and it turned deeply personal fast. The group shared what they’re most thankful for in life, exploring how trauma, resilience, and identity shape the love we give and receive. Themes of healing from injury and illness, releasing grief, and supporting partners through transformation were woven throughout the night. It was a powerful reminder that community is most meaningful when vulnerability is welcome. Guests talked openly about...
this episode dives into the emotional landscape of aging within polyamorous and kink-friendly relationships. The group explores vulnerability, sexual confidence, physical changes, emotional safety, and the evolving experience of intimacy between partners of different ages. What starts as a discussion about sexual safety expands into honest storytelling about ED, communication, demisexuality, confidence, being seen, and how partners can support each other as their bodies and desires shift over...
The discussion moves far beyond physical protection, delving into emotional safety — the kind of trust that allows someone to be fully vulnerable, seen, and accepted. Each guest brings a deeply personal perspective: Patty speaks about freedom of expression and emotional honesty, John reflects on being “a safe person” and the complexities of male vulnerability, Heather explores how self-knowledge and boundaries create safety, and Katerina opens a profound dialogue about energy, forgiveness, an...
In this candid interview, host Alonzo Banx sits down with Patty, a cornerstone of the PolySoCal community, for a deep and heartfelt conversation about her 31-year relationship with her husband John, their journey through polyamory, and the wisdom that only comes from decades of experience. Patty shares stories from their early days — from swinging to growing into emotionally connected polyamory — and opens up about raising children, facing red flags, and learning the art of saying no without ...
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