Catholic Mom Calm

Getting kids out the door is a banana circus. That's what I told my daughter in the driveway the other morning, after somebody forgot a lunch and we had to turn around and come back. It's going to be a circus no matter what I do, because children bring chaos and no amount of systems fixes that. The only reason we're never late to school is that I just start the circus earlier than other people do. So this episode is about being on time when you have kids, and underneath that it's really about how you adopt a new identity without beating yourself up to get there. I tell you where my own on-time thing came from (a vow I made in my heart as a little girl, which was woundedness), what it looked like to heal that and still genuinely like being on time, and then the actual mechanics: five minutes per kid, the five more minutes nobody budgets for between the front door and driving away, and accounting for the traffic and the train. If you're chronically late, hear me say first that this is not a salvation issue and there is nothing wrong with you. And then if you want this, here's how. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Where a "person who is never late" identity can come from, and the vow I made in my heart as a kid that I later had to go back and heal with Jesus Healing the wound without losing the habit, because being late doesn't have to mean anything about my character or about what I'm communicating to the host The five minutes per kid rule, plus the five minutes almost nobody budgets for between walking out the front door and actually pulling away Why I start telling everyone it's time to go a full 20 minutes before I want to be driving Why I help them find the shoes instead of waiting on them, since being on time matters to me and it doesn't matter to any of them Living with a husband whose identity has nothing to do with being on time (except for mass), when to prime him about parking, and then letting it go How you actually adopt a new identity: decide clearly, ask what a person like this would do, then practice it until your brain says okay, this is who we are Growing from peace instead of from "I'm so terrible," because you're perfectly lovable right now and you can still calmly decide you'd like something different Predictable chaos, the train you can get stuck behind for eight minutes, and bringing order to the parts you actually control EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Growing up with a single mom, the tunnel traffic, and the vow I made about never being late [05:00] – Adding a baby to the timeline, then a three-year-old who can't find shoes, and adjusting for every kid [10:00] – Seeing the on-time thing as woundedness, healing it, and deciding that late doesn't mean anything about me [15:00] – A husband who doesn't care about being on time (except for mass), priming him, and then letting it go [20:00] – How identity actually works, 21 days versus 250 days, and deciding who you want to be [25:00] – The banana circus in the driveway, starting it earlier, the Sandpoint train, and a million roses for Mary LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: One Million Rosaries Challenge (join any time, the rosaries you pray after you sign up still count toward the total): https://onemillionrosaries.com Catholic Mom Calm (where I teach you how to go back to a memory with Jesus and heal it): https://catholicmomcalm.com Restore the Glory podcast with Bob Schuchts, the series on wounds and vows: https://www.restoretheglorypodcast.com/ Atomic Habits by James Clear: https://amzn.to/4hEzeew CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Here's something I find fascinating. A lot of us are living a balanced life with a brain that's a hot mess in there, and so a life we're actually executing really well ends up feeling terrible. You got everybody fed and you made it to all the things on time, but your mind spent the whole day telling you how far behind you are, and that is what drained the battery. That's not a commitment problem. That's a thinking problem, and honestly it's good news, because you don't have to change your calendar to fix it. So this episode is how I tell the difference, and then exactly what I do when it really is too much. I list everything out (including the meals and the laundry, because you're already committed to those), I put my finger on each one and pray "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" and then I ask whether the healed version of me takes this on. I also walk you through two real decisions from my own fall, the giant yes I'm so glad I said and the hard no I knew would disappoint people, and what happened after. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why the tired usually comes from your thinking and not from your schedule, because your body runs a physiological stress response all morning and drains the battery before anything has even happened What a balanced life with an unbalanced mind looks like, and the question to ask about yesterday to find out which one you've got Writing down every commitment, with meals and cleaning and clean clothes in big buckets, so your brain can see what it already signed up for Praying over each one with "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" instead of "do you want me to keep this, yes or no," which boxes him in and leaves no room for a nuanced answer Some commitments are neutral to God, like the Honda Odyssey or the Toyota Sienna, and you can become a saint either way The question I'd never said out loud before: does the healed version of me take this on, or did I say yes out of woundedness What woundedness sounds like ("if I don't do it, no one will do it"), and the genuinely healthy version of that exact same yes Why the pressure to keep a good program alive is coming from your thinking, and being willing to tolerate some disappointment when the answer is no Going to the Lord for the "good job" you're not getting at home... even for cleaning the microwave EPISODE TIMELINE: (estimated at 5-minute marks, no timestamps in the transcript, confirm against audio) [00:00] – The art of saying no, and that includes backing out of things you already said yes to [05:00] – The morning your brain is off to the races, the car, and being tired from your thoughts instead of your day [10:00] – A balanced life and an unbalanced mind, and living the exact same day with a better attitude [15:00] – Listing every commitment out, the buckets you're already signed up for, and receiving what God gives you [20:00] – Praying over each one, neutral commitments, and "does the healed version of me say yes to this?" [25:00] – The giant yes: building a Catholic hybrid homeschool option at the parish over six months [30:00] – The hard no: stepping back from teaching atrium this year, cleaning the microwave, and the three steps together LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Catholic Mom Calm (come learn how to manage your mind with us): https://catholicmomcalm.com One Million Rosaries Challenge (free, all of October, sign up and start a group): https://onemillionrosaries.com CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:   Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

I said it kind of offhandedly on a coaching call. "I want to be a blanket of peace in my home." And the moms would not let it go, so I have been sitting with it ever since. Here is what I mean. You have the ability to take your own emotional state and blanket a whole room with it. You already do it. Sometimes what you are laying over the kitchen is frustration or stress or that sharp voice, and sometimes it is calm. The part I want you to hear is that it is yours to choose. This episode is me asking you to stop settling for awareness of your thinking and actually reach for the peace. I walk you through a chaotic Tuesday morning, two kids off to farm school, two girls off to co-op, a thirteen year old presenting in front of the entire community, and what happened when I decided ahead of time that I was going to be so calm that everyone around me calmed down. We talk about Mother Teresa and how far her peaceful light went into a room, why this kind of power is the power women actually want, and how to say "hey, we are not going to do that in this room, okay, love you" instead of the version you are doing now. Plus two announcements I am so excited about. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: What a blanket of peace actually is, and why your emotional state is the thing filling the room whether you picked it or not Humans catch each other's states both directions. Anxiety spreads, and so does calm, grounded and steady Awareness of your thinking is not the finish line. Reaching for peace on purpose is the next level Deciding before the hard morning starts, so that when they walk in frantic you meet them with the voice instead of matching them Why being at peace takes fewer words and less energy, and why it works so much better than snapping The power men chase out in the world, and the very different power a woman has to set the tone of a space Mother Teresa changed the energy of every room she walked into. How far did that light reach, and can mine do that Your mission this week: pick one time of day, one room, one situation where you have been tolerating chaos, and be the calm in it EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Happy fall girl, sweaters and tea, and the phrase the moms would not let go of [05:00] – Blanketing the room with your emotional state, and taking hearts that are troubled and making them feel safe [10:00] – The co-op morning, the thirteen year old presenting, and speaking to them in the grounded voice [15:00] – Forest bear and "hey, we are not going to do that in this room, okay, love you." Dropping the excuses [20:00] – Mother Teresa's golden light, the wins call, and what Catholic Mom Calm is really about [25:00] – Announcement one: the One Million Rosaries Challenge for the month of October [30:00] – Announcement two: the Catholic Mom Calm app is almost here, plus France and a request for prayers LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: One Million Rosaries Challenge (free, all of October, sign up and start a group): https://onemillionrosaries.com   Calm Catholic Kids app (free, and you can track your rosaries in it): https://calmcatholickids.com CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Anxiety never comes from the Lord. So the second I feel that tightness show up in my chest, I already know something true about myself. I am thinking about my life in a way that God does not want me to think about it. Period. Because if I were thinking about it the way He wants me to, I would be at peace. This episode is one question I want you to start asking faster than you are asking it right now. Not "Lord, take this away," but "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" About this toddler. About my husband. About my body. About this house. I asked Him something this morning and He said, "You already know. You just doubt what I have already told you." Ooh, burn, Lord. We talk about why we are not reaching for Him sooner (we do not actually believe we could be at peace all the time), the grace you have to ask for before He hands it to you, what Fulton Sheen was doing in basically every talk he ever gave, and why Daniel in the lions' den and Mary at the foot of the cross were both at peace. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: The micro moment prayer: the second you notice tightness, throw your hands up and say "Lord, I invite you into this. Come be with me right now." Why anxiety is information and not a verdict. It tells you your thinking is off, not that your life is off The real reason we do not run to Him faster: we have never met a person who is at peace all the time, so we quietly decided it is not available to us Eight out of ten minutes. You will lose it. The win is how fast you come back Feeling powerless is the worst feeling there is, and being able to stay calm in any situation is one of the most powerful You are not done when you hear the sentence. Your job is to practice it, or your brain will spiral right back in two hours The gifts of the Holy Spirit were designed to be asked for. Wisdom, counsel, knowledge, understanding, fortitude, fear of the Lord. Ask Being at peace does not mean being peaceful. It means receiving. It means "this is okay right now and I can handle it" The surprise pregnancy test, the teenager going through it, the adult child who left the Church. You can be at peace today, in that EPISODE TIMELINE: (estimated at 5-minute marks, no timestamps in the transcript, confirm against audio) [00:00] – Hope when you feel anxious, trapped, stuck or frozen, and inviting the Lord into the micro moment [05:00] – "Lord, what do you want me to know about this?" Why anxiety never comes from Him, and what Mary has to do with our unbelief [10:00] – Eight out of ten minutes, and why staying calm is the most powerful you will ever feel [15:00] – Cheeky Jesus, the sentences He actually gives me, and writing them down so I can practice them [20:00] – My real morning (I do not pray first thing), redirecting my brain, and asking for grace and the gifts of the Holy Spirit [25:00] – Fulton Sheen, the beatification, and why all his talks end the same way. At peace is not peaceful. Daniel, Mary, Joseph and the donkey [30:00] – Who I belong to, true freedom, and an invitation to the Catholic Mom Reset LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: Join the Catholic Mom Reset: www.catholicmomcalm.com/reset Fulton Sheen beatification, plus the conference with Arthur Brooks the day before (Sterling will have a table, come say hi): www.fultonsheenconference.com/ CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

I am team planning. I am team house systems. We teach it in the membership and it is the very first thing we tackle in the Catholic Mom Reset, because looking at your next 90 days and making a plan is genuinely a gift to your future self. But if you took all of it away tomorrow, dropped me in a different house in a different town with no idea what the next 90 days held, I would be okay. I could walk around and have peace. That is the part I want for you. A lot of women tell me they are type A planners. There is a healthy version of that. There is also a version that gets built in a childhood full of chaos you could not control, or in a home where performing well was how you got love and attention. Both of those grow up into a woman who plans beautifully, and one of them is holding on with an iron grip. This episode is how to tell which one you are running on, the five minute healing work that sets the grip down, and the sentence I said to a mom on a coaching call that changed her whole face.   WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: Why the plan is not what makes you feel calm (you make a plan, then you think "I have a plan," and the thought is what creates safety in your body) The two childhoods that produce a hyper-planner: chaos you had no control over, and love you had to earn by performing The difference between planning that feels light and playful and planning you believe you cannot survive without Abraham walking up the mountain and the Israelites who never got the itinerary, and what peace looked like for both Tolerating uncertainty is a capacity you can grow, the same way a kid grows from 37 seconds to a minute and a half underwater The five minute memory work I use, sitting in the theater with the Lord while He tells you the truth about what really happened What I told the mom who was afraid that moving every two years would rob her kids of roots and stability EPISODE TIMELINE: [00:00] – Why I wanted to do this episode, and why I am solidly team planning and team systems [05:00] – All brains hate uncertainty, the AI conversation nobody can predict, and the skill we can actually grow [10:00] – Your body feels your thinking, not your plan. The Israelites, and Abraham on the mountain [15:00] – The car breaks down. The husband's job might move you. How to answer your own brain [20:00] – Chaos versus performance, the grounded healthy version of you, and asking the Lord what we are doing today [25:00] – Bob Schuchts, inner child work, and revisiting a memory with Jesus in five minutes [30:00] – "You are their mom. You bring roots and stability everywhere you go." Protocols, and week one of the Reset LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Catholic Mom Reset (starts Sunday, September 6th, first live call Thursday, September 10th) Bob Schuchts books Brya Hannan book on inner child healing (do one chapter a month, it is deep work) Restore the Glory podcast with Bob Schuchts and Jake Khym Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH: Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm