Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey

A Biblical Playbook for Marriage: Simple Strategies That Change Everything   What if marriage wasn't about winning arguments, but about learning how to play on the same team?   In today's episode, we sit down with Al & Autumn from MarriageTeam to talk about what it really means to have a biblical playbook for marriage. With decades of marriage and ministry experience, they share how God used their own story, messy beginnings, hard lessons, and real growth to shape their passion for helping couples build strong, lasting marriages.   In This Episode, We Cover: • Al & Autumn's marriage story and the early lessons God used to shape their ministry • What a "marriage playbook" really means and why couples need one • How seeing your spouse as a teammate changes everything • The vision behind the Rick & Jane Learn to Be Married book series • Why communication is the first step toward intimacy • Marriage coaching vs. counseling—and why coaching can be so effective • Common misconceptions about anger and healthier, God-honoring ways to handle it • Simple, practical strategies couples can begin using this week   Resources & Next Steps •Check out the Rick & Jane Learn to Be Married series https://rickandjane.com Learn more about marriage coaching or get support through MarriageTeam at: https://marriageteam.org For inquiries or to connect with the Rays directly: alray@rickandjane.com   If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a couple who could use some hope today.

Have you ever felt fear, heaviness, or sadness long before anything "bad" actually happened? There's nothing wrong with and you're not dramatic. But you may be experiencing anticipatory grief, and it impacts marriages far more than couples realize.   In this episode, Chris & Jamie unpack why your heart sometimes grieves before life changes… and how this hidden emotional process can affect connection, communication, and even conflict inside the marriage.   This is one of the most tender, eye-opening conversations you'll hear. Whether you're caring for aging parents, walking through health concerns, navigating infertility, or simply sensing that something in your life or marriage is shifting.   What You'll Learn in This Episode   1. What Anticipatory Grief Actually Is and how it shows up   2. Expected Causes of Anticipatory Grief in Marriage   3. Unexpected Causes Couples Don't Realize Are Grief   4. How Anticipatory Grief Shows Up Between Spouses Many couples think they have a marriage problem — when really, they have a grief problem. Signs include: Irritability Anxiety Emotional shutdown Clinging or control Avoidance Misreading each other's responses We share how this creates friction, especially when men & women process anticipatory grief differently.   5. The Transformational Question: "What am I anticipating?" A grounding tool to help couples move from fear to clarity and compassion. This question helps you uncover: The loss you're imagining What part of your heart feels threatened How your love is showing up as fear Grief becomes a doorway to deeper connection when it's named.   6. Reframing Grief as a Couple: Turning Toward Instead of Away We teach couples how to ask: "Are we fighting because of grief, not each other?" "Are we withdrawing because something scares us?" And how to say: "I'm scared of losing ___." "I'm grieving how things are changing." "I need you with me in this."   7. What Couples Can Actually Do with Anticipatory Grief Practical tools you can use today:   8. A Biblical Perspective on Anticipatory Grief We explore comfort and grounding through Scripture: Psalm 34:18 Matthew 6:34 Romans 8:38–39 1 Peter 5:7 God meets us not only in the losses we face but also in the ones we fear.     ⭐ CTA If this episode helped open your eyes or gave language to something you've been feeling, we'd be SO grateful if you'd leave a review. Click the ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ and share how this podcast is helping your marriage. And make sure to follow so you don't miss next week's episode!  

In today's episode, we're talking about something a little unexpected coming from two marriage counselors: why you shouldn't always take our advice, or anyone else's, without checking with the Lord first. We live in a world overflowing with sermons, reels, podcasts, coaching, challenges, and self-help. So much of it is helpful… but not all of it is helpful for you, and not all of it is helpful right now. This episode is an invitation to slow down, breathe, and learn how to discern the difference between good advice and God's direction for your particular season.   ⭐ Inside the Episode Jamie's Story: When "Do It Afraid" Went Too Far Jamie shares a pivotal moment in her journey with anxiety and how a sermon quote ("Do it afraid") became her life mantra for a season… until it began overworking her nervous system and pushing her into hypervigilance. It wasn't bad advice; it was just no longer the right advice. That's when God spoke a new word: "My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." Only the Lord knows what we truly need and exactly when we need it.   ⭐ What Happens When We Treat Advice Like Scripture We unpack why great advice can become harmful when we elevate it above God's timing:   ⭐ Examples of "Good" Marriage Advice That Can Be Bad in the Wrong Season We explore six common marriage principles that are wonderful but not universally timed:   ⭐ What Scripture Says About Being Led by God We walk through passages that remind us God leads personally and seasonally:   ⭐ A Nervous System Perspective Not every push is holy. Not every challenge is healthy. Sometimes "growth" advice puts your body into survival mode.   ⭐ The SIFT Method: How to Discern What's Actually for You A simple 4-step framework to help couples filter advice through prayer and peace:   ⭐ Marriage Application: What This Means for Couples Practical questions to ask one another.   ⭐ Final Encouragement Not all good advice is God's advice for you — but God always has the right word for the right time.   ✨ Stay Connected + Encouraged Every Week If this episode encouraged you, we'd love to keep walking with you. Sign up for our weekly marriage newsletter for devotionals, tools, and Christ-centered encouragement straight to your inbox: 👉 expeditionmarriage.org/newsletter And don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs it. ❤️

When life gets overwhelming—whether it's from busyness, health struggles, or a hard season—it's easy to let your marriage quietly slip to the back burner. In today's episode, we're talking about why putting first things first matters more than ever when you're under pressure. We'll explore the hidden costs of busyness, how to recognize when it's time to say "no" to good things to protect the best things, and why you must be intentional about hearing from God in every season. Plus, we'll share practical steps to help you and your spouse stay connected, even when life feels heavy. If you're feeling stretched thin, stressed out, or spiritually distant, this conversation is for you.   📝 Show Notes In This Episode, We Cover: How to recognize when it's time to reset your priorities The importance of getting into a position to hear God's voice Biblical encouragement for staying spiritually focused during hard seasons Practical steps for putting first things first in your marriage   Helpful Links: 💬 Interested in Marriage Counseling or Coaching? Inquire about working with us here: https://expeditionmarriage.org/marriage/ 📨 Get Encouragement Every Week! Sign up for our weekly newsletter packed with marriage tips, faith encouragement, and new resources: https://expeditionmarriage.org/newsletter-signup/   Scriptures Mentioned: 2 Corinthians 10:5 — Taking every thought captive Romans 12:2 — Renewing your mind Ecclesiastes 3:1 — Understanding seasons 1 Peter 4:8 — Loving deeply in hard seasons John 10:27 — Hearing the voice of the Shepherd   ✨ Reflection Questions to Ask the Lord: What do You want me/us to say yes to? What do You want me/us to say no to? How can we protect our marriage during this season?   Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend or leave a review—it helps us reach more couples who need hope and encouragement! https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-134-first-things-first       *Disclaimer: The information discussed in this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

In this episode, we're chatting with Dr. Christine Baker, a trauma specialist and somatic therapist, to explore the crucial role that nervous system regulation plays in marriage. Dr. Baker shares her expertise on how understanding and managing our nervous systems can transform the way we connect with our spouses, handle conflict, and build a stronger, more resilient relationship. We'll dive into practical strategies for recognizing signs of dysregulation in yourself and your partner, and learn how to create a more balanced and healthy marriage. Whether you're navigating stress, conflict, or simply seeking deeper connection, this episode will give you the tools you need to help you and your spouse thrive together. Tune in to discover how a well-regulated nervous system can be the key to a healthier, happier marriage!   Find our show notes at https://expeditionmarriage.org/post/podcast/ep-130-nervous-system-regulation-in-marriage-with-dr-christine-baker   Follow us! https://www.instagram.com/expedition_marriage/ https://pinterest/expedition_marriage.org   Find Dr Christine Baker at https://wayfarecounseling.com/providers/christine-baker/ Follow her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/drcbtherapy/ Get the FREE Collaborative Calm Cards for Couples https://drcbtherapy.myflodesk.com/cccfreebie DISCOUNT ➡️ Join Dr. Baker's Somatic Wellness Collective: Somatic Wellness Collective for $20 off using our code EXPEDITIONPOD- http://somatic-wellness-collective.teachable.com/p/somatic-wellness-collective  

Every marriage walks through dry seasons, times when connection feels absent, emotions run low, and apathy sets in. But a dry season doesn't mean your marriage is dying; it often means God is doing deep, unseen work beneath the surface. In this episode, we're digging into how to recognize, remain in, and receive from the wilderness seasons of marriage, and how to come out stronger on the other side. Using the story of Jesus' 40 days in the desert and a five-step framework, we'll help you find perspective, peace, and purpose in the desert places.   If your marriage feels weary or disconnected, this episode will remind you that God never wastes the wilderness—and new life can always come from dry ground. 🎧 Listen now and start walking toward renewal—together.     💧 In This Episode, You'll Learn: What a "dry season" in marriage really is, and why it's normal How to tell when you're in one (and what not to do about it!) The five steps to navigate the wilderness season well: What Jesus' own time in the wilderness can teach us about endurance and spiritual growth How God often uses silence, struggle, and stillness to deepen love and faith   🕊️ Key Scriptures Mentioned: Matthew 4:1–11 — Jesus led by the Spirit into the wilderness Luke 4:14 — Jesus returns "in the power of the Spirit" James 1:2–4 — Growth through testing produces perseverance Psalm 77:11–12 — "I will remember the deeds of the Lord…"   ❤️ Takeaway Truth: "Dry seasons don't mean dead seasons. They're often where God prepares you for the next good thing He's about to do."   📣 Resources & Next Steps: 💾 Download the free Five Steps to Navigate a Dry Season in Marriage Worksheet: https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-164-dry-seasons-in-marriage-how-to-navigate-the-wilderness-together 🎧 Check us out on YouTube for video episodes on faith-filled marriage growth: https://www.youtube.com/@expeditionmarriage/featured 💌 Join our weekly marriage encouragement emails for practical tips and biblical truth at ExpeditionMarriage.org/subscribe   💬 Connect With Us: Follow along on social media: Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest → @ExpeditionMarriage Visit: ExpeditionMarriage.org

When life gets heavy, stress often shows up in our marriages—not just in words, but in subtle cues, tones, and behaviors. In this episode, Chris and Jamie share why becoming a "PhD of your spouse" is one of the most loving and practical things you can do for your marriage.   💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode Why stress "tells" matter and how noticing them can prevent unnecessary conflict and deepen empathy (Philippians 2:4). Common stress cues to look for—like withdrawal, red face, clenched jaw, irritability, avoidance, hypervigilance, or the "checked-out" mode on the couch. How to respond with love instead of defensiveness by pausing, checking in gently, and offering support without assumptions (Hebrews 12:14; Romans 12:18). What it means to become a "PhD of your spouse"—studying their patterns, stress responses, and emotional needs so you can build unity instead of division. Practical steps to breathe life into your marriage by identifying stress cues, supporting one another, and shifting from "me vs. you" to "we."   ✨ Key Quotes from the Episode "Marriage thrives when we study one another." "Noticing your spouse's stress cues isn't about fixing them—it's about loving them well."   📖 Scriptures to Reflect On Philippians 2:4 — "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Proverbs 10:19 — "When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." Hebrews 12:14 — "Strive for peace with everyone." Romans 12:18 — "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."   🛠️ Free Resource Download our PhD of Your Spouse Stress Cues Worksheet to help you and your spouse talk through your unique stress patterns and how you can support one another. 👉 https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-163-becoming-a-phd-of-your-spouse-how-to-recognize-stress-cues-and-respond-with-love     🎯 Call to Action Leave us a review (like Ilive4him24 did!)—your reviews help more couples find the hope and tools they need. Download your free worksheet and start the conversation this week. Check out Episode 134 with Dr Christine Baker on Nervous System Regulation in Marriage  https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-130-nervous-system-regulation-in-marriage-with-dr-christine-baker/

Letting go isn't easy, especially when it comes to our kids. Whether they're stepping into adulthood, moving far away, or simply living life differently than we expected, this season of release can stir up a mix of emotions: pride, fear, loss, hope, and everything in between. In this raw and heartfelt conversation, we're joined by our friends Brad and Lisa Valencia from the Unrelenting Pursuit Podcast to talk about what it really looks like to trust God with our children, a seaons they're right in the middle of. Together, we unpack how to surrender anxiety, manage expectations, and move from parenting to praying, finding peace in knowing that God's plans for our kids are even greater than ours. If you're walking through a season of letting go, this episode will remind you that release isn't the end of your parenting, it's a new beginning for your faith.   🎧 Listen now for encouragement, perspective, and hope.  https://unrelentingpursuit.org

Remember when you were dating—those extra drives across town, late-night phone calls, sweet notes, and the way you rearranged your whole schedule just to be together? Back then, sacrifice felt natural. But somewhere along the way, many couples lose that intentionality. In this episode, we dive into what it means to rediscover sacrificial love in marriage—not as a duty, but as a reflection of Christ's love. From everyday acts of kindness to laying down pride and preferences, we'll unpack why sacrifice is foundational for intimacy, trust, and unity.   💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode Why couples often lose the art of sacrifice after marriage How sacrifice builds trust, intimacy, and a "we" mindset instead of "me vs. you" Practical, everyday ways to reignite sacrificial love The difference between being a doormat and choosing sacrificial love How reflecting Christ's love through sacrifice impacts your marriage, your children, and your witness to the world   📖 Scripture References John 15:12–13 — "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." Ephesians 5:25 — "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Romans 5:8 — "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." John 13:35 — "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."   🛠️ Practical Takeaways Put your phone down and give your spouse your full attention Do an errand your spouse dislikes Give up a preference to honor theirs Lay down pride and be the first to apologize Pray together even when life is busy   Challenge for the Week: Choose one intentional act of sacrifice—big or small—for your spouse and see how it impacts your connection.

Big change isn't always what your marriage needs. In fact, sometimes the most powerful growth comes from the smallest, most consistent choices. In this episode, we talk about how to move the needle forward in your relationship—just 1% at a time—without the pressure of perfection.   💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode Why the pressure to fix everything at once leaves couples feeling stuck The power of compounding small actions and how they can transform your marriage over time How lofty expectations of perfection can sabotage intimacy Why it's essential to address sin like pride, anger, or bitterness—rather than just covering it up with good habits What "moving the needle" might look like practically in your home How to let go of guilt and shame and replace them with God's daily mercies   🛠️ Practical Takeaways Choose one small thing to do better this week (listen more attentively, speak a word of encouragement, offer a small act of service, say "I'm sorry"). Remember: consistency, not perfection, creates change.   🎯 Resources & Next Steps If this episode encouraged you, we'd love for you to: Share it with a friend. Leave us a review—it helps other couples find hope and practical help Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for free resources 👉 And if you're ready for a guided plan to help you rebuild intimacy, safety, and connection in your marriage, check out our Restoring Connection Plan. As a special thank-you for listening, you can get 20% off using the code PODCAST20: Click here to grab your plan

When your marriage is in a painful season, joy might feel like the last thing on your mind. But what if those small, lighthearted moments are not only possible—but essential for healing? In this episode, we're talking about why joy still matters in marriage, even when things hurt. You'll discover how laughter, rest, and simply enjoying each other can soften hearts, reduce tension, and remind your relationship that hope is not lost.   What You'll Learn in This Episode The reality of pain in marriage and how the brain processes emotional hurt as real and exhausting. Why joy is medicine—how laughter, fun, and rest release chemicals that calm stress and build safety. Biblical wisdom on joy, including Proverbs 17:22 ("A cheerful heart is good medicine") and Nehemiah 8:10 ("The joy of the Lord is your strength"). Practical ways to bring joy back—from watching a funny movie to taking a break from "working" on everything and just being together. How choosing joy and rest builds resilience and reminds you that healing is still possible.   Scripture Encouragement Proverbs 17:22 – "A cheerful heart is good medicine." Nehemiah 8:10 – "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Psalm 16:11 – "In Your presence there is fullness of joy."     Call to Action This week, don't focus only on what needs to be fixed—make space to simply enjoy each other. Recreate a joyful memory or try something lighthearted and new. 👉 If this episode encouraged you, share it with another couple who might need hope in their hard season. And if you haven't already, be sure to leave us a review—it helps more couples find the encouragement they need. 🔗 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more resources, tools, and support to help your marriage thrive.

Have you ever caught yourself assuming you knew what your spouse was thinking or feeling—only to find out you were completely wrong? That's what we call "The Usual Error"—and it's one of the most common causes of conflict, hurt, and disconnection in marriage. In this episode, we'll unpack what the Bible says about making assumptions, why they're biblically unwise, and how to replace them with curiosity, humility, and God's wisdom to strengthen your marriage.   What You'll Learn in This Episode 1. What the Usual Error Is and Why It Hurts Marriage How assumptions create false narratives and unspoken expectations Why acting on unproven beliefs leads to miscommunication   2. Why Making Assumptions Can Be Spiritually Dangerous It's based on what's unproven → Leads to wrong conclusions It shows a lack of wisdom → Proverbs 18:2: "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion." It causes division → Misunderstandings breed resentment and distance It reflects pride → Assuming we know our spouse's motives takes God's place as the only One who sees hearts   3. What the Bible Encourages Instead Practice humility and patience (Ephesians 4:2-3): Bear with one another in love Seek truth and discernment (Philippians 4:8; 1 Thessalonians 5:21): Think on what is true and test everything   4. How to Break the Usual Error in Marriage Practical tools to shift from assumption to understanding: Pause before reacting: "Do I have proof, or am I assuming?" Ask clarifying questions instead of assigning motives Practice reflective listening to ensure you've heard your spouse correctly Invite God into the conversation through prayer and patience   5. Encouragement and Hope Marriage is strengthened when you replace assumptions with curiosity and humility. Unity grows when you trust God more than your perceptions, opening the door for deeper connection, grace, and peace.

Marriages Marriage is challenging enough, but when your spouse doesn't share your faith, it can feel like you're walking this journey alone. In this episode, we're diving deep into what it means to be in a spiritually mismatched marriage and how to find hope, peace, and purpose along the way.   What You'll Learn in This Episode 1. The Reality of Spiritually Unequal Marriages What it means to be "spiritually mismatched" Common emotions: loneliness, frustration, confusion, and hope   2. Common Struggles These Couples Face Spiritual Loneliness: Feeling unsupported in your walk with Christ Parenting Challenges: Different values and beliefs causing tension Church Involvement: One spouse engaged, the other resistant Communication Gaps: Conflicts over priorities and purpose Stat: 67% of couples say faith differences increase relationship stress (Lifeway Research)   3. How to Love Well Without Compromising Your Faith Influence Through Love, Not Pressure Stay Rooted in Christ Find Support Create Connection Outside Faith   4. Encouragement and Hope God sees your marriage, your prayers, and your heart Romans 12:12 — "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Isaiah 40:31 — God renews your strength while you wait   Resources & Next Steps ✉️ Prayer Support: Email us at email@expeditionmarriage.org if you'd like us to pray alongside you—we keep a dedicated list and would love to lift your marriage before God. 🙏 Join Our 30-Day Praying for Your Husband Challenge to deepen your intercessory prayer life. (https://expeditionmarriage.org/30-day-praying-for-your-wife-challenge) • • 📩 Share This Episode: Know someone walking this path? Send them this episode and begin praying together for your husbands. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-157-when-your-husband-doesnt-share-your-faith-hope-for-spiritually-unequal-marriages

Have you ever noticed how quickly small misunderstandings can spiral into full-blown conflicts? One simple comment can turn into a wall between you and your spouse if you let offense take over. But spiritual maturity calls us to a different path—one that chooses curiosity, compassion, and connection over pride and defensiveness.   In this episode, we're unpacking a powerful truth that can change the way you navigate disagreements in your marriage:   "You can't be curious and offended at the same time."   Spiritually mature couples learn to pause, seek understanding, and invite God into their marriage instead of letting emotions rule the moment. When offense leads, division grows—but when curiosity leads, your marriage becomes a place of safety, grace, and deeper intimacy.     What You'll Learn in This Episode 1. How Spiritual Immaturity Shows Up in Marriage Getting defensive when criticized Withdrawing instead of leaning in Avoiding confession and repentance Making self-centered decisions over Christ-centered ones   2. Signs of Spiritual Maturity Being quick to listen and slow to anger (James 1:19) Seeking understanding before responding Choosing forgiveness over grudges Inviting God into conflict and relying on His wisdom   3. "I've Just Touched a Wound, But I Did Not Cause It" We'll discuss why your spouse's strong reactions may be tied to old wounds—and why you don't need to deflect, defend, people-please, or withdraw. Instead, you can stay present and curious to create emotional safety.   4. How Curiosity Builds Connection Asking thoughtful questions instead of assuming Creating emotional safety and trust Discovering what's really happening beneath the surface     Resources & Next Steps   📄 Download the free Spiritual Maturity in Marriage Assessment to practice curiosity in your marriage. Includes curiosity question prompts. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-156-curiosity-over-offense-how-staying-spiritually-mature-can-transform-your-marriage Episode 140 When the Past Shows up Uninvited in Your Marriage  https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-140-when-the-past-shows-up-uninvited-understanding-implicit-memory-in-marriage/ 💬 If you need help navigating conflict and rebuilding connection, visit ExpeditionMarriage.org/marriage to learn about our Christ-centered counseling and coaching.

When chronic illness enters a marriage, it doesn't just affect one person—it touches everything. Routines shift, intimacy changes, energy drops, and even the way you see each other can be altered. In this honest and hope-filled episode, we talk about the silent grief couples carry, the changes they face, and how to begin healing and reconnecting in a new, grace-filled way. We even share our own personal story.   Whether you're the one facing health challenges or the one walking alongside, there is hope for restoration—not necessarily of the "before" life, but of connection, intimacy, and partnership in the "now."   What You'll Learn in This Episode: The unspoken losses chronic illness brings into marriage—and why it's okay to grieve them How to rebuild connection and intimacy in new and meaningful ways Practical steps for healing together and making space for honest conversations Encouragement and Scripture to remind you that you're not alone in this journey   Key Takeaways & Scriptures: 💬 "When chronic illness enters a marriage, it doesn't just affect one person—it touches everything. But it doesn't have to define everything." 📖 Romans 12:15 – "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." 📖 1 Corinthians 13:7 – "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 📖 Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 – "Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up."   Links & Resources: Download the Couples Conversation Worksheet  (Ihttps://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-155-healing-your-marriage-after-chronic-illness)– Use this free guide to start meaningful conversations about healing and connection in your marriage after chronic illness.   Check out Jackie Hill Perry's teaching on In Defence of Hope. We know it will be an ecnouragement for you. https://youtu.be/pdXu23RLCE8?si=ymhPjOd2V8XKr107   Need more support? Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for coaching, resources, and tools.   Share this episode with a friend or couple who's navigating chronic illness—they need encouragement too!   Let's Connect: If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it. Together, we can spread hope and equip more marriages to thrive—no matter the season they're in.

Does your relationship ever feel like it swings from intense connection to deep frustration—and then back again? If so, you may be married to a Vacillator. In today's episode, we're diving into what it's like to live and love with this emotional love style, and how you can find more stability and connection together.   💬 "Being married to a Vacillator can feel like navigating emotional whiplash—passionate connection one moment, frustration and distance the next."   This episode is all about understanding the why behind the ups and downs—and learning how to build trust and steadiness in a sensitive, emotionally-charged marriage.   🧭 What You'll Learn: What defines the Vacillator Love Style and where it originates Why Vacillators often feel disappointed or emotionally overwhelmed The impact this love style has on a marriage What a Vacillator truly needs from their spouse How Vacillators themselves can grow emotionally and spiritually   💡 Key Traits of a Vacillator: Craves deep connection, but fears rejection Easily feels hurt or let down by perceived distance Struggles with waiting, emotional regulation, and trust Idealizes, then devalues their spouse when expectations aren't met   📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Isaiah 30:18 – "The Lord longs to be gracious to you…" 1 Corinthians 13:4–5 – "Love is patient, love is kind… it is not easily angered…" Psalm 62:5–6 – "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence… He only is my rock…"   ❤️ 3 Practical Things Vacillators Need: Consistent and Predictable Connection → Small follow-throughs build trust and soothe abandonment fears. Attuned Listening Without Defensiveness → Validation and reflection are more healing than explanation. Grace When They Emotionally Escalate → Compassion in their emotional moments creates safety, not shame.   💬 "Vacillators heal when love stops being unpredictable and starts becoming trustworthy."     🎯 Take Action:   📤 Share this episode with someone navigating emotional cycles in their marriage 🌐 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for biblical tools and counseling • • ⭐️ Leave a review to help others find truth and encouragement

Does your spouse always say "yes," avoid conflict, or seem overly focused on making everyone else happy—even at their own expense? You may be married to a Pleaser. In this episode, we're unpacking what it really means to be married to a Pleaser—how this love style forms, how it impacts your relationship, and what both of you can do to create deeper emotional intimacy.   💬 "Pleasers aren't trying to be fake—they're trying to stay safe."   This episode is all about moving from performance to authenticity—and learning to build a marriage where honesty, vulnerability, and mutual care are welcome.   🧭 What You'll Learn: What drives the Pleaser Love Style Why pleasers often avoid conflict and overextend themselves What it's like being married to a Pleaser—and the hidden costs of chronic "yes" How to respond with love, not pressure Practical steps for Pleasers to grow in confidence and connection   💡 Key Highlights: Pleasers often come from critical or high-pressure homes and learned to keep the peace by minimizing their needs. Being married to a Pleaser may feel emotionally confusing—because it's hard to connect with someone who won't show you their full self. Change is possible when Pleasers feel safe to express, say no, and trust that love isn't based on performance.   📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Galatians 1:10 – "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?" Ephesians 4:15 – "Speak the truth in love…"     🎯 Take Action: 💬 Talk with your spouse using these connecting questions:   What is one thing I can do for you to help make tomorrow easier? What reactions of mine tend to be stressful to you? Is there an area of your life, even with me, where you feel like you have to walk on eggshells? Why is that?   📤 Share this episode with a friend or couple who may need it. ⭐️ Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform to help other couples find biblical encouragement. 🔗 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more marriage tools and support.   💭 You don't have to earn love through peacekeeping. Real connection happens when you let yourself be known—and loved—in truth.

Do you ever feel like you're talking to a wall? Or maybe like you're carrying all the emotional weight in your marriage? If so, you might be married to an Avoider—someone who disconnects emotionally, struggles with vulnerability, and often insists they're "fine" when they're anything but.   In today's episode, we're taking a deeper look into what emotional avoidance really is, where it comes from, and—most importantly—how to build emotional safety and connection in a marriage where one spouse tends to shut down.   💬 "Being married to an avoider doesn't mean your spouse doesn't care—it often means they were never taught how to engage emotionally in healthy ways."   🧭 What You'll Learn: The traits and mindset of the Avoider Love Style Why emotional shutdown isn't personal—it's protective What it's really like being married to an avoider How their childhood may have shaped their emotional patterns Practical and biblical tools to invite connection and build trust Encouragement for avoiders to grow emotionally and spiritually   📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Psalm 34:18 – "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted…" Ezekiel 36:26 – "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you."   🎯 Take Action: Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for biblically based marriage resources and counseling. Share this episode with a friend who may be married to an avoider. Don't forget to leave a rating or review to help more couples discover hope and healing.   💡 You're not stuck in a cycle of disconnection—there is hope, growth, and emotional intimacy waiting on the other side of avoidance. Let's start the journey together.  

Do you find yourself trying to "fix" your spouse, control the outcome of your marriage, or manage every detail so nothing goes wrong? You're not alone—and you're not broken for feeling that way. But there is a better, more freeing path forward. In this episode, Chris & Jamie unpack why we try to control our marriages, what's really behind that urge, and how learning to surrender our grip can bring peace. You'll gain insight, scriptural truth, and practical steps to help you trust God more deeply with your marriage and your spouse.   🔑 Key Topics Covered: What Control Looks Like in Marriage Constant correction, micromanaging, withholding support How control often disguises itself as "help" or "concern" Scripture Highlight: Galatians 5:1, James 4:1–2  What's Behind the Need for Control? Fear  Control as self-protection when trust in God wavers Scripture Highlight: 2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 56:3  The Problem with Control Damages emotional safety and connection Stifles the Holy Spirit's work Leaves you exhausted and discouraged Quote: "Letting go of control doesn't mean giving up—it means giving God His rightful place."  How to Surrender Control and Trust God Identify your fears and release them to God Shift from pressure to prayer Scripture Highlight:Matthew 11:28–30   💬 Powerful Takeaway Quote: "Control often feels like protection—but it's actually a heavy burden God never asked us to carry."     🎯 Call to Action: Share this episode with a friend who may be carrying too much Want more support? Learn about Christian marriage counseling at ExpeditionMarriage.org/marriage   Don't forget: A great marriage isn't found—it's built, one intentional step at a time. Keep showing up. Keep trusting God. We're cheering you on.

Emotions in marriage aren't the enemy—they're God-given tools meant to stir your heart toward action, deeper intimacy, and meaningful connection. In this episode of Expedition Marriage, Chris & Jamie dive into some common powerful emotions that, when understood and embraced biblically, can strengthen your relationship and reignite passion. You'll discover how emotions like frustration, fear, sadness, and even boredom can become catalysts for growth, healing, and renewed love.   🧭 What You'll Learn: How to use frustration as a signal for healing instead of division Why fear in your relationship can be a sign you're growing How sadness and regret can lead to deeper restoration and closeness Why longing for beauty and connection in your marriage is godly How to recognize and respond to righteous anger and protect your marriage How emotions are designed by God to draw you closer, not pull you apart   📖 Scripture References: Ephesians 4:26 – "In your anger do not sin." Isaiah 41:10 – "Do not fear, for I am with you." Ecclesiastes 3:4 – "A time to weep and a time to laugh." Nehemiah 4:14 – "Fight for your families…" Philippians 4:8 – "Whatever is lovely… think about such things." Ecclesiastes 9:9 – "Enjoy life with your wife…" 2 Corinthians 7:10 – "Godly sorrow brings repentance…"   💬 Reflection Questions: Which emotion is currently showing up in your marriage? Have you been avoiding it, or using it in a way that draws you closer? How might God want to use that emotion to transform your relationship?   📣 Don't Miss: If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend or leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! Every share helps more couples find hope and healing through Christ.   🧭 Follow-Up: Explore more ways to build your marriage at ExpeditionMarriage.org and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!   Closing Reminder: A great marriage isn't found—it's built. One intentional step at a time.