Claim OwnershipThe High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast
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©2021 Brook Olsen
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Co-Parenting is the relationship that never ends. If your ex is difficult to deal with, if you are experiencing high-conflict and/or the children are being hurt by the behavior of your ex partner, then this show is for you. You may not be able to change them but you CAN change everything that your child needs to be healthy and happy. Listen in as Charlie and Brook discuss the principles, tools and techniques available in order to create peace in high conflict co-parenting relationships.
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In this episode, Brook Olsen welcomes Dr. Donald Gordon, founder of the Center for Divorce Education and creator of Children in Between, to discuss how parents can reduce conflict and protect their kids during and after divorce. With decades of research and real-world experience, Dr. Gordon shares how even small shifts in communication, emotional regulation, and mindfulness can make a lasting impact on children's well-being. You'll learn how chronic conflict affects kids' brain development, how to model emotional stability, and why co-parents don't need to be perfect—just intentional. If you're navigating high-conflict parenting or want to break generational cycles of stress and disconnection, this episode is packed with tools and hope. Learn more about Dr. Donald Gordon at his website: https://divorce-education.com/classes/children-in-between-class/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook Olsen sits down with attorney, mediator, and DivorceWave founder Tamara Rowles to explore divorce as a spiritual journey and an opportunity for self-reinvention. Together, they dive into how high-conflict separations—while painful—can also become a gateway to growth, self-awareness, and long-term peace. Tamara shares how mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and intentional disengagement can shift the entire divorce dynamic, protect your kids, and help you reclaim your power. Whether you're just entering the process or stuck in cycles of reactivity, this episode offers practical tools, insight, and a powerful reminder: healing starts from within. Learn more about Tamara Rowles at her website: https://www.divorcewave.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook Olsen is joined once again by Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism, to explore the lesser-known counterpart to narcissism: echoism. Through the lens of Greek mythology and modern psychology, they unpack how those who fear being "too much" often find themselves entangled in toxic dynamics with narcissistic partners. Dr. Malkin explains how echoism—marked by self-silencing, people-pleasing, and a fear of taking up space—is a survival response rooted in early family systems. Together, they discuss how cultivating healthy anger, reclaiming agency, and practicing mindful disengagement can break the cycle of negative intimacy and lead to lasting change. A must-listen for anyone navigating high-conflict relationships or healing from emotionally abusive dynamics. Learn more about Dr. Craig Malkin at his website: https://www.drcraigmalkin.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook talks with conscious relationship coach Annmarie Chereso about how to break free from unconscious patterns that fuel conflict—especially in co-parenting. Annmarie shares her personal journey through divorce and how parts work and nervous system regulation helped her reclaim her power. They explore the role of self-awareness, compassion, and learning to respond from presence rather than fear. A powerful conversation for anyone looking to heal and build healthier relationships with their children—and themselves. Learn more about AnnMarie Chereso at her website: https://annmariechereso.me/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brook Olsen sits down with therapist and author Christian Van Norberg to explore the power of radical listening—a practice that goes beyond active listening to foster deep connection and emotional regulation. They discuss how presence, curiosity, and internal awareness can help you disengage from conflict, stay grounded, and support your children without getting pulled into drama. Whether you're navigating court stress or everyday parenting challenges, this conversation offers practical insight into staying calm and connected. Listen now and discover how radical listening can transform the way you relate to yourself, your co-parent, and your children. For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook sits down with family law attorney Kelli Avallone to unpack the tricky dynamics of covert narcissism in custody battles and high-conflict divorces. They explore why labeling a co-parent as a narcissist can backfire, how courts really view psychological evaluations, and why focusing on evidence-based behavior is more effective than diagnosis. Kelli shares what covert narcissistic traits can look like in family court and how parents can respond strategically while keeping children out of the conflict. Learn more about Kelli Avallone at her website: https://atty-avallone.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook sits down with divorce coach Kate Anthony to unpack the mindsets that truly help during divorce, especially in high-conflict co-parenting situations. They discuss why emotional reactions can backfire, how to shift from wanting "fairness" to focusing on what's legal and strategic, and the importance of boundaries and radical acceptance. With practical tips and compassionate advice, this episode is a valuable guide for anyone facing the challenges of separation. Learn more about Kate Anthony at her website: https://www.selfloverecovery.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook welcomes back Ross Rosenberg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome and The Codependency Revolution, to dive deeper into the concept of Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)—a groundbreaking reframing of codependency. Together, they unpack how early attachment trauma shapes relationship dynamics, leading many into repeated cycles of caretaking, emotional depletion, and entanglement with narcissistic partners. Brook and Ross explore the toxic push-pull that arises in high-conflict co-parenting and divorce, where unresolved SLDD patterns often collide with personality disorders. Through the lens of disengagement and strategic self-awareness, they offer insight on how to stop "wrestling with pigs" and begin creating clarity, calm, and lasting change. Learn more about Ross Rosenberg at his website: https://www.selfloverecovery.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook speaks with John Riley from Gentle Response about the impact of body language in high-conflict co-parenting. They explore the ACE method—Appearance, Communication, and Engagement—and how small adjustments in posture, tone, and presence can de-escalate tense situations, whether in court, mediation, or daily interactions. Brook and John also discuss the power of self-awareness and emotional regulation in reducing conflict. By staying composed and intentional, parents can shift dynamics, model healthy behavior for their children, and create a more stable environment. Tune in for practical strategies to navigate conflict with confidence. Learn more about John Riley at his website: https://gentle-response.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook Olsen welcomes conflict engagement specialist and bestselling author Dana Caspersen to discuss how conflict can be an opportunity for growth rather than a problem to avoid. Dana shares insights from her book Conflict Is an Opportunity and explores how our mindset and belief systems shape the way we handle difficult situations. They dive into the power of shifting attention, practical tools for breaking old conflict habits, and an exercise designed to help reframe conflict dynamics. Whether you're navigating co-parenting challenges or everyday disagreements, this episode offers valuable strategies to engage with curiosity and create positive change. Learn more about Dana Caspersen at his website: https://www.danacaspersen.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode, Brook welcomes Karen McEnany, The Good Divorce Coach, to discuss how setting the right foundation in divorce can significantly impact long-term outcomes. Divorce inherently carries conflict, but the way we navigate the early stages—our initial conditions—can determine whether the process will be calm, moderately contentious, or high-conflict. Brook and Karen explore how parents can approach divorce not as a battle, but as a transformation—one that prioritizes family over finances, mitigates unnecessary pain, and fosters healthier co-parenting relationships. They discuss the importance of intention, emotional regulation, and recognizing the difference between what truly matters and what is simply ego or control. If you're looking for a new framework to approach divorce—one that fosters cooperation, minimizes conflict, and protects your children's well-being—this episode is for you. Enjoy! Learn more about Karen McNenny at his website http://www.karenmcnenny.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode Brook and his guests Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry from the podcast Been There Got Out discuss the notion of High Conflict Detox. This is where a person/parent is stuck deeply in the habitual cycle of conflict and the nervous system maintains a high level of chronic activation. In order to break the cycle one must endure the discomfort of disengagement, develop a self awareness of the cycle in order to break free of the strong impulse to engage in and continue the conflict. This conflict pattern is very much physiological and can be mastered. Enjoy!!! Want to hear the full episode? Join our membership today and take advantage of our exclusive offer: your first month is completely free! Coupon code: 30DAYSFREEACCESS You can contact Lisa through their website beentheregotout.com or follow them on instagram, Youtube and Facebook. Download our Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode Brook has guest Rich Carr author of Surprised: The Science and Art of Engagement. Rich brings a bright and engaging look at how we as humans respond or react to an outside stimulus and in understanding the workings of the various part of the brain dictate how you will engage in or disengage with that stimulus. In high conflict or for that matter any relational interaction, getting to the solution with the least amount of conflict and the optimal exploration is the goal. Rich goes into how you can install intention and preprogram action to reduce the reactivity in your system and access the parts of the brain that problem solve. Enjoy!!! Rich Carr can be reached at through his website. https://braincentricdesign.com/ Want to hear the full episode? Join our membership today and take advantage of our exclusive offer: your first month is completely free! Coupon code: 30DAYSFREEACCESS For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode Brook has esteemed guest, researcher, professor and author of the Polyvagal Theory, Dr. Steven Porges. Brook and Dr. Porges have a robust and educational conversation about how the vagus nerve influences the fear response, social connections and emotional regulations. It is important to understand the functional brain response in order to cognitively intervene for self regulation. This is an amazing conversation for anyone caught in high conflict or navigating life in general. Listen, Learn and Enjoy!!! Learn more about Dr. Porges at his website https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode Brook has guest Elaine Taylor-Klaus, Author and Co-Founder of Impact Parents. Brook and Elaine have a robust conversation about parenting a child that is neurodivergent and the challenges that go with the behaviors with being ADHD or on the spectrum of Autism. Deep in the discussion the conversation move in the direction of generational repetition and as adults having similar diagnoses as a window into the stigma and judgment of the labels. This is a great conversation regardless of whether or not you are dealing with this issue. You may truly be surprised. Enjoy !!! Elaine can be contacted through her website at https://impactparents.com/ For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode Brook and his guests Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry from the podcast Been There Got Out discuss the notion of High Conflict Detox. This is where a person/parent is stuck deeply in the habitual cycle of conflict and the nervous system maintains a high level of chronic activation. In order to break the cycle one must endure the discomfort of disengagement, develop a self awareness of the cycle in order to break free of the strong impulse to engage in and continue the conflict. This conflict pattern is very much physiological and can be mastered. Enjoy!!! You can contact Lisa through their website beentheregotout.com or follow them on instagram, Youtube and Facebook. Download our Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails And join our membership site at Disengage.highconflict.net
In this episode Brook and his guest Derrick Chevalier discuss in depth the interconnection between negotiation in divorce and custody and first understanding what is on the playing field and who the players are first, before setting sail in the process. Getting yourself settled and using your unique knowledge of the situation in order to knit together the solution and the proper delivery system ie: Attorney, Mediator and such. By doing so getting to the center of the issues, such as finances and custody can be a much easier path and resulting in better outcomes become more available and ultimately less costly both emotionally and financially. This is a great conversation. Enjoy!! Derrick can be contacted though his website at https://ddtpr.com/ Want to hear the full episode? Join our membership today and take advantage of our exclusive offer: your first month is completely free! Coupon code: 30DAYSFREEACCESS For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode Brook and Michelle take another deeper dive into the subject of preparing for and dealing with the stresses of the holidays. When dealing with high conflict co-parentis it is important to have an open mindset of solving the problems out front and deep understanding of how you are stuck trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Challenging your beliefs about what is important vs what solves the problem and takes the children out of the chaos isn't easy. Listen to Brook and Michelle in this episode in order to get some fresh and deeper perspective. Enjoy!!! For exclusive membership perks join our membership site the Disengagement Zone at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register. You can follow Michelle on instagram @coachmichellesd. Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails
In this episode Brook has special guest Nicola Ranson L.C.S.W. Brook and Nicola discuss the concepts of Transference and Projection as pertain to working with a coach or therapist. These are always taking place in all relationships and unconsciously affect the interaction. When working with a coach or therapist it is important the coach or therapist is trained to consciously identify it and not get entangled with but use it as an informative process to uncover deeper solutions and processes. As a client it is important to find a coach that is seasoned and proficient so as not to collude or inappropriately direct. Enjoy!! You can find more on Nicola and her writing at www.nicolaranson.org Join our membership site at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ Download our Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register.
In this Episode Brook has as his special guest Attorney Kelli Avallone in to discuss the frustrations that clients have when dealing with their attorneys as well as those frustrations of the attorney with their clients, in high conflict custody cases. The discussion explores the topics that can cause the frustration and how using a qualified coach can go a long way in keeping both the client and the attorney on a productive path that is efficient both financially and emotionally. Enjoy!!! You can contact Kelli at kelli@atty-avallone.com Join our membership site at https://disengage.highconflict.net/ Download our Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://www.highconflict.net/booklet Join our mailing list: Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time https://www.highconflict.net/emails For classes or one on one consults with Brook please visit our highconflict.net website to register.
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New to this podcast but resonates immensely.
Thank you for discussing this topic. You guys keep me sane. As a step parent that is married to someone in a high conflict co-parenting relationship, you guys have been such a savior for me.
Great episode. This one is old and I listen to every current podcast. I’ve been stuck in a toxic dance with my Son’s mom for approximately 3 years. She’s now withholding him from me. It’s been four months. She said that I have to take her to court if I want to see him again. The final argument was about having him evaluated by a child psychologist. I think he should be. She doesn’t. She told me that I have no rights as a parent and that she would be making that decision. In listening to these podcasts, I realize how much I’ve been pushing her on allowing me to be an effective parent. It’s only caused damage. I’m assuming that your philosophies and experience will tell me to disengage no matter how far things have gone?
just be careful to make sure your mic is of so we can actually hear the person talking. and if your mic is on don't make so much noise.
I've been listening to your podcasts for a while now and feel the need to give you some feedback. Whether this is unintentional or not, you are presenting your views in such a way as to suggest that women are largely responsible for high-conflict divorce and custody situations, and that women are regularly attempting to lie and scheme their way into severing a relationship between father and child. Although you often couch these things in sort of ambiguous language and with specifying gender, your insinuation is often pretty clear. In today's episode (11/15/19) you suggest that often, domestic violence claims are brought for the purpose of gaining an advantage in the initial stages of divorce. What is the basis for this statement? It seems to me that you may be oblivious to the harm of a claim like this. The fact is, women are victims of domestic violence at a rate more than three times that of men, which would naturally account for their claims of such being more common in divorce and
I love this idea definitely trying this out
just started listening to this super excited to hear what u guys have to say I'm involved in a classic high conflict situation and I need help!!!!
this is great! thank you for putting this together.