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© 2026 My Inner Torch
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My Inner Torch offers direct and personal insight with help for those of us in a relationship with someone who is undiagnosed/diagnosed with a Cluster B Personality Disorder. This is a safe place to come for words of inspiration that draw from my personal experiences and is produced to gain understanding and to find direction as we navigate through the often difficult relationships with those we love who suffer with a Cluster B personality disorder that includes BPD and NPD. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is NOT for those who suffer with these disorders. This podcast is for survivors of these challenging and difficult relationships.
272 Episodes
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Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I accept that I cannot change someone with Cluster B pathology. I redirect my hope toward my own growth and freedom. Personality disorders are deeply ingrained and resistant to change. Trying to change them comes at a significant personal cost. I shift my focus from fixing them to protecting myself. Acceptance means seeing reality clearly, not approving of harmful behavior. 🔍 Summary The Impossibility of Changing Cluster B's I’ve learned that I c...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Relationships with cluster B personalities won’t develop into typical, stable love.Practice emotional detachment by stopping your search for reassurance and explanations.Set firm, non-negotiable boundaries around acceptable behavior.Your suffering doesn’t prove love or loyalty.Focus on healing yourself rather than fixing the other person.Real love is stable, honors your identity, and doesn’t harm your wellbeing.🔍 Summary Understanding Pathological L...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Recognize Cluster B “Supply” Dynamics: I understand that cluster B individuals view love and affection as “supply,” not nourishment. My efforts are consumed, not absorbed.Identify Unreciprocated Sacrifice: I acknowledge that my deep sacrifices are expected, not cherished, and that my efforts to please will not create lasting change or reciprocity.Distinguish Healthy Love from Cluster B Dynamics: I differentiate between healthy love’s reciprocity and...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I build emotional resilience by creating healthy boundaries.I recognize that my Cluster B partner’s behavior is not personal.I shift my focus from building for others to building for myself.I invest in my personal healing and identity, separate from the relationship.I accept that permanence is not possible in unstable relationships.I continue to build and hope, acknowledging the value of my efforts.🔍 Summary The Emotional Sandcastle Metaphor The cor...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Cluster B love is conditional—rooted in need and survival, not empathy.Their “love” is a performance designed to meet their own needs.Their emotional world operates differently, focused on survival rather than genuine connection.You deserve mutual, unconditional love—they may not be capable of giving it.Heal by letting go of the fantasy and grieving what you gave.Seek love from someone who can truly reciprocate.🔍 Summary The Nature of Cluster B Love...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: My love for my Cluster B wife is real and valid, even though her “love” isn’t healthy or reciprocated.My urge to rescue or fix her comes from my past and a natural human desire to heal.What feels like deep connection is often just their neediness, not genuine emotional intimacy.I’m learning to redirect my healing energy inward, toward myself.My compassion and empathy deserve to be turned toward my own growth and recovery.My capacity for love isn’t a...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’m learning to lower my expectations for holiday interactions with Cluster B individuals.I’m aiming for holiday neutrality rather than magical moments.I’m accepting that I cannot control their reactions; their behavior isn’t my responsibility.I’m creating a holiday safety plan with clear boundaries and an escape route.I’m letting go of the fantasy of a perfect holiday to protect myself from disappointment.I’m prioritizing my well-being and self-pre...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve adapted to toxic environments by developing tolerance to harmful behaviors—a survival mechanism, not healthy coping.I recognize that normalizing abuse and emotional numbness represent damage, not resilience.My relationships with Cluster B individuals created trauma bonds, not mutual benefit.I’m healing by feeling the pain, acknowledging the dysfunction, and understanding it’s not my fault.I deserve environments built on genuine connection, not ...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Behaviors like mirroring, intensity, and jealousy from Cluster B individuals are control tactics, not love.Love bombing feels intense but isn’t true intimacy—it’s a high that eventually crashes.Possessiveness stems from insecurity and fear, not affection.Intermittent kindness is psychological conditioning and trauma bonding, not genuine growth.Others may not love the way I do, and consistency may be absent.Naming dysfunctional behaviors clearly help...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Staying with a Cluster B individual reflects a trauma bond—a powerful emotional connection that deserves compassion, not judgment.The “spell” combines charm, manipulation, love bombing, and sporadic affection used for control.Trauma bonds operate through intermittent reinforcement, creating addiction-like patterns driven by control, not genuine love.I can break free by recognizing the bond, seeing the person clearly, and rebuilding boundaries and se...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: My love cannot cure Cluster B disorders and can become harmful to my own well-being.Cluster B individuals prioritize survival and control over genuine emotional connection.I must distinguish between someone’s potential and their current reality.My self-love and well-being come before trying to change them.I accept them as they are, not as I hope they’ll become.I shift focus from their inability to love me to my own healing.🔍 Summary The Illusion of ...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: Cluster B individuals cannot offer unconditional love due to emotional deficits.Their “love” is an illusion based on infatuation, not genuine connection.Their past trauma explains behavior but doesn’t excuse emotional damage.One cannot “fix” a Cluster B partner; they need self-awareness and therapy.Prioritize personal well-being by stopping the pursuit of impossible love.Embrace peace by recognizing their limitations.🔍 Summary The Illusion of Love w...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I accept that it is okay to love a Cluster B individual. My real love does not simply disappear.I recognize the issue is loving at my own expense. I will protect my identity by separating compassion from self-sacrifice.I will set clear boundaries to safeguard myself. These boundaries will foster connection without self-destruction.I will practice emotional detachment. I will observe their behavior as a disorder, not a personal attack.I will stop try...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I understand that Cluster B individuals lack emotional permanence. Their emotions are fleeting, not constant. This means their feelings of “love” shift rapidly.I recognize that their sense of self is not stable. Love they show is often a temporary construct, reflecting what they need me to be in that moment.I accept that vulnerability is a threat to them. They mimic love externally, but remain emotionally guarded due to past trauma. True connection ...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I accept the reality of a cluster B individual’s behavior without approval; they will not change. This stops my fruitless struggle.I adjust my expectations within the relationship, no longer seeking genuine apologies or emotional fulfillment from the other person.I practice emotional detachment by focusing on my personal boundaries, responses, and self-care, stopping their emotional storms from affecting me.I avoid reactive responses to provocations...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I now recognize the intense initial affection from Cluster B individuals as idealization, reflecting their desires rather than genuine love for who I truly am.I understand that Cluster B personalities often have an emotional void, making them unable to offer consistent, reciprocal, or lasting love.I observe that their “love” is conditional, serving their needs for validation and control; it disappears when my personal boundaries are set or expectati...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I understand that reactive abuse happens when I, as a survivor, respond to intense provocation from a Cluster B individual, which leads to my own regret and makes me appear abusive.I recognize that reacting to Cluster B provocation is a trap that fuels their narrative and strengthens their control.I will avoid engaging in unwinnable arguments or using “JADE” (justifying, arguing, defending, explaining) as these tactics are ineffective.I choose to cu...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I now recognize Cluster B relationships as “Ponzi schemes.” They start with intense love bombing, mirroring, and promises that feel tailor-made to me.I understand that early “returns” in these relationships are illusions. These are funded by my own emotional investment, not a genuine connection.I’m aware of intermittent reinforcement used to keep me invested. This involves alternating cruelty with small acts of kindness that manipulate my emotions.I...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I now understand that Cluster B relationships start with idealization, making me feel deeply understood, but it’s a false persona, not real love.I recognize that trauma bonding keeps me in the cycle, confusing intense highs and lows with love, similar to addiction.I’ve learned that the hope that the idealized person will return fuels the cycle, despite that person never existing in reality.I now see how my familiarity with chaotic dynamics from chil...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve questioned my Clustered B partner’s love because of the deep pain I’ve experienced and my desperate desire to understand if their behaviors could coexist with genuine affection.What I once believed was love was actually an allure - a manipulative tool used for control, supply, and validation, not a genuine connection of mutual care.Their version of “love” was always conditional and transactional, entirely dependent on my ability to fulfill thei...
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This really highlights the danger of confusing potential with reality. Clarity—without illusion—often brings more peace than hope alone. I’ve seen the same principle apply in well-structured guides that clearly explain limits and functionality, like this one: https://robloxmoddapk.com/
This really resonates, especially the distinction between potential and reality. A lot of harm comes from believing something can become what it fundamentally isn’t. I’ve noticed this same clarity principle applies in other areas too — whether relationships, tools, or even digital products. The healthiest shift happens when information is presented clearly, without illusion, so people can make grounded decisions instead of acting on hope alone. Well-structured guides that explain limitations, boundaries, and real functionality can be surprisingly grounding. Resources like this do a good job of breaking things down without false promises: Different topic, but the same idea — understanding reality instead of projecting potential is often where healing begins.