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© 2026 Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
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Unprofessional, unsolicited and unwanted opinions from Dan and Tony as they watch movies and tell you what's wrong with them.
281 Episodes
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Send a text What happens when a movie you once despised suddenly makes you laugh out loud? We dive back into Strange Wilderness and pull apart why some of its dumbest jokes still work—and why the “movie” around them often doesn’t. We set the table with the film’s sketch roots, the Sandler-adjacent cast, and the loose, improv-first approach that leaves scenes searching for an ending. Then we zero in on the bright spots: the nature documentary parodies that deliver clean, quotable lines with a ...
Send us a text What happens when a massive sequel forgets the one thing epics can’t live without—emotion? We take a scalpel to Gladiator 2 and dig into why the arena feels quiet even when the crowd is screaming. From a “last free city” setup that strains belief to a retconned bloodline that muddies legacy, the movie races for scale without building the spine that made the original unforgettable. We talk through the action that should define character but doesn’t: a rhino fight with no ripple...
Send us a text A killer marionette, a sleepy music box, and a town that throws a FazFest for reasons no one can explain—welcome to our breakdown of Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, where the lore expands and the logic contracts. We dig into the 1982 prologue that binds Charlotte’s ghost to the puppet, the early-2000s reset that reopens old wounds, and the sequel’s habit of inventing rules only to ignore them when the plot needs a shortcut. We walk through the set pieces that actually slap: the gho...
Send us a text A ghost’s-eye horror should feel like slipping between walls, time, and truth. Instead, Presence hands us a floating wide-angle lens that wanders rooms, hides in closets, and forgets why it’s haunting anyone. We dive straight into why the concept is intriguing and how the execution leaves story, character, and suspense on the cutting room floor. We unpack the core craft problems: a viewpoint with no rules, cuts to black that read like scene avoidance, and power limits that shi...
Send us a text A goat gag, a blow dart, and one perfect Norm Macdonald riff walk into a movie. We dive into The Animal with our gloves off and our sense of humor intact, asking a simple question that unlocks the whole watch: can lowbrow comedy land when the lead can’t elevate the bit? One of us relishes the film’s shameless silliness and second-screen charm; the other sees a conveyor belt of half-built jokes that never earn their own punchlines. From the evidence-room meltdown to the press co...
Send us a text We had questions the moment Playdate 2025 opened on a joyless car chase and a baffling lacrosse scene—and then Isla Fisher strolled in with the “Mama Mafia” and Alan Ritchson arrived like a golden retriever with black-ops training. That’s the whiplash of this Prime Video action-comedy: when the energy is right, it’s hilarious; when the foundation wobbles, even a decent gag falls flat. We break down why the first act muddies everything a comedy needs to thrive—clear relationshi...
Send us a text A Vespa hums into Bakersfield, a church robe hides bondage gear, and a smooth-talking reverend runs a drug ring between sermons about macaroni. We dive into Honey Don’t with a simple litmus test for any detective story: does the protagonist actually want something concrete? When a PI drifts through clues without being hired, breaking in, or deducing much of anything, style and shock have to work overtime. Sometimes they do—there’s a killer dark-comic exchange where the reverend...
Send us a text A healing unicorn, a billionaire’s lodge, and a night that should have dripped with dread instead slides into confusion. We dive into Death of a Unicorn with fresh eyes and plenty of receipts—where the premise shines, why the scares fizzle, and how the story trades suspense for unfinished spectacle. From the first “we hit something on the road” beat to that jarring daylight time jump, we trace the exact moments the movie stops trusting mystery and starts overexposing its creatu...
Send us a text A leather jacket Santa, a melted plane, and a train to the wrong city—on paper it sounds wild. We hit play on the Jonas Brothers holiday special expecting cozy carols and earned nostalgia, and got a glossy tour of Europe where money and magic wipe away every consequence. The result is a Christmas road movie with no real road and no reason to hurry home, propped up by a handful of good jokes and one romance beat that almost redeems the trip. We unpack why the core premise falls...
Send us a text What happens when a brilliant concept crumbles under its own weight? We dive headfirst into The Truman Show and pull at every loose thread: a dome you can see from space, a moon that doubles as a control booth, rain on a dimmer, and a hero who behaves like a normal adult instead of someone raised by a stage. We’re not here to nitpick for sport—we’re asking how this story should work if it wants to be a satire, a thriller, or a character drama, and why it lands in a mushy middle...
Send us a text The trailer had us hopeful; the movie had us baffled. We dive into The Pickup and pull apart why a slick heist premise, a stacked cast, and a veteran director still yield a comedy-thriller with no real stakes and a whole lot of shrugs. From the opening bank “meet-cute” with a drawn gun that triggers zero fallout to an armored-truck chase that looks slow because it’s shot too wide and scored too flat, we track how craft choices drain momentum and mute laughs. Eddie Murphy sets u...
Send us a text A time machine that behaves like a fax, a grenade that hops centuries, and an ear that turns into destiny—this conversation goes deep on why Timeline is both ridiculous and ridiculously enjoyable. We break down the movie’s soft science with a smile, from wormholes that sometimes sync to the minute to medallions that only work when the plot says so. Then we zoom in on what actually sells the ride: Gerard Butler’s early-era charisma, Anna Friel’s spark as Claire, and Michael Shee...
Send us a text Dinosaurs, portals, and a chorus line of pterodactyls should be a slam dunk. We dove into Land of the Lost to figure out why a movie with so many toys keeps losing the game—and how a few smart changes could have turned chaos into comedy that sticks. We start with the core misfire: Will Ferrell is asked to play a straight-man scientist and a clueless clown at the same time, which erases any clean arc and drains the stakes from every set piece. Absurd can be brilliant when the ru...
Send us a text What happens when a sharp horror-comedy premise gets tripped up by soggy jokes and TV-flat reactions? We dig into Little Evil with a filmmaker’s eye and a comic’s ear, mapping the moments that could have soared if the setups, POV, and character logic actually aligned. From the tornado wedding and the defensive videographer to the CPS visit with Sally Field and the clown-on-fire gag, we point to where the movie almost clicks—and how a few simple escalations could have turned “he...
Send us a text A supermoon turns the world wild, Frank Grillo grabs a shotgun, and we grab our notes. We break down Werewolves with the kind of scene-by-scene nitpicks and love for schlock that only come from watching too many creature features at 2 a.m. The premise is killer—moonlight triggers global transformations—but the movie keeps stepping on its own paws with lens-flare-heavy cinematography, shaky rules, and a finale that forgets what it promised. So we do what we do best: call out the...
Send us a text A Superman movie where the dog makes more choices than the Man of Steel? We dove into James Gunn’s take and found a shiny spectacle that keeps dodging the heart of the character. From a midstream opening to a city-leviathan set piece shot through a fish-eye lens, the film races past the moments that would make us care, then tries to land on a heartfelt message about humanity it doesn’t quite earn. We dig into why the quiet scenes sing—the Pa Kent farm talk and the final reflec...
Send us a text Two horror titans enter, consistency takes a vacation, and we can’t stop talking about why it still works. We rewind to 2003 and pull apart Freddy vs. Jason from its crisp, newcomer‑friendly recap to the outsized, fire‑lit brawls that the whole campaign was built around. We’re honest about the warts: clunky teen dialogue, jump scares with no crescendo, and lore that forgets its own rules. We’re also here for the highs: Robert Englund having a blast as a razor‑fingered showman, ...
Send us a text Nuclear theft, a smirking supervillain, and a train sequence that refuses to quit—our rewatch of John Woo’s Broken Arrow is a love letter to the wildest corners of ’90s action. We kick off Todd’s birthday stream with a question we can’t stop asking: why do some “bad” movies age into perfect Friday-night fun? From the opening boxing match that telegraphs John Travolta’s heel turn to the copper mine countdown and that infamous dummy shot, we break down what’s silly, what’s sharp,...
Send us a text Ever watch a movie that feels like it was built out of wild props and late-night dreams—and then realize no one bothered to build the world around it? We dive headfirst into Nothing but Trouble, tracing how a killer cast (Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, John Candy) and a bonkers premise wobble into an unappealing blur of gadgets, traps, and gross-out gags. From the courtroom rollercoaster and the infamous Bone Stripper to a Hawaiian Punch dinner and a cameo from Digital U...
Send us a text What happens when you take a cult classic like "The Blues Brothers," remove its electric star, add a random child, strip away all profanity, and film it entirely on sterile soundstages? You get "Blues Brothers 2000," one of the most bewildering sequel disasters in cinema history. Our deep dive into this 1998 misfire reveals how profoundly the filmmakers misunderstood what made the original special. The first film thrived on John Belushi's chaotic energy playing against Dan Ayk...
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