Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner: Help With Healing CPTSD

Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences.  https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services   Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.

This episode continues my two-part reflection on the most important lessons I took from 2025. These are not mindset tips or abstract insights. They are lessons forged through real relationships, real consequences, and real decisions about power, responsibility, and alignment. If Part 1 focused on containment, completion, and trust, Part 2 turns toward power, reciprocity, preparation, and what actually creates sustainable alignment. In Part 2, I cover four additional lessons: 5. Relationships That Require You to Stay Small Are Hard to Sustain I talk about what happens when relationships quietly require you to manage someone else's insecurity in order to stay connected. When another person is not in their power, growth often gets reframed as harm. Expansion gets mislabeled as unethical or unsafe. Power meeting power is cleaner. It requires clear responsibility, clean contracting, and respect for each person's growth. 6. Give-to-Get Dynamics Always End Badly Giving that comes from an agenda, even a subtle one, eventually leads to over-giving, bitterness, and resentment. I explore the difference between giving from genuine overflow and giving in hopes of securing safety, approval, or future return. Reciprocity is not transactional. It is something that naturally flows back when alignment is real. 7. Good Outcomes Do Not Just Happen Strong outcomes require preparation, planning, and execution. This lesson reshaped how I think about where I invest my energy, what I say yes to, and how much I commit myself to at once. Saying less allows for doing things well. 8. Alignment Is Richer Than Boundaries or Safety I close by expanding the conversation beyond boundaries and safety into alignment. Alignment includes identity, attachment, and meaning. When those are in place, boundaries become simpler, safety becomes steadier, and decisions become clearer. Together, Parts 1 and 2 capture the lessons that are shaping how I move into 2026 with more clarity, fewer compromises, and a deeper commitment to clean responsibility and self-trust. If you want your next year to be your best year yet, this episode offers a grounded place to begin. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences.  https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

This episode begins a two-part reflection on my most important lessons from 2025. I am sharing these lessons not as theory, but as lived experience. What worked. What hurt. What required courage. And what fundamentally changed how I lead, relate, and take responsibility. If you want 2026 to be your best year yet, this episode will help you learn from my path rather than repeat my mistakes. In Part 1, I cover four core lessons: 1. Deciding Who and What You Are Responsible For I share why I closed my free community, and what that taught me about responsibility, containment, and sustainability. I also talk about how responsibility looks different with children, with partners, and in leadership, and why scaffolding matters more than sacrifice. This lesson directly led to the creation of I Choose Me. 2. Completion Changes Outcomes I reflect on a serious car crash involving Stevin and why fully dealing with what happens, instead of minimizing it, changes everything. We got support. We slowed down. We right-sized the situation. We prioritized completion rather than endurance. That choice created real space for healing and resolution instead of lingering stress. 3. You Cannot Control the Past, But You Can Release the Shame So It Stops Running Your Life Releasing shame around younger parts of ourselves is often easier. What is far harder is releasing shame around adult versions of ourselves who acted from trauma energies. I talk about what it means to live in a trauma ecosystem where history cannot be erased, and how painful it is to be treated as unsafe or harmful after you have done the work. You cannot control how others see you. You can only know your truth and let that be enough. 4. Trust Is Earned. Until Then, Protect Yourself. I break down how I now think about trust, contracts, agreements, reciprocity, and risk. This includes starting slow, avoiding fantasy investments, minimizing exposure to financial and reputational risk, and making sure everyone has equal skin in the game. Trust builds over time, not promises. This episode is for anyone who wants to lead with clarity, reduce regret, and enter the next year with stronger boundaries, cleaner responsibility, and less shame. Part 2 continues the reflection with additional lessons that shaped how I am moving into 2026. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences.  https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.

Much mainstream relationship advice completely misses the mark when you have unresolved CPTSD and are living inside a trauma ecosystem. What looks like clarity can actually be fear. What looks like empowerment can actually be protection. And many people make permanent relationship decisions from a nervous system that is still in survival mode. In this episode, I will walk you through the top 5 CPTSD-specific things to do before deciding to leave a relationship. This is not about convincing you to stay or go. It is about helping you make decisions from internal safety, self-trust, and clarity rather than trauma-driven urgency. If you live with CPTSD and feel stuck, confused, or pressured to "decide already," this conversation will help you slow down and orient to what actually matters. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences.  https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.

Does anyone else quietly question the tools therapists give you? For many people living with CPTSD, boundary work brings relief and calm, but at a steep cost. Relationships end. Distance grows. Connection narrows. You may feel safer, yet lonelier than ever. In this episode, I speak directly to the unspoken confusion many high-achieving survivors carry about boundaries. Questions like: How do I set boundaries without feeling like a bad person? Why do boundaries feel aggressive or isolating? Why do I either over-explain or completely shut down? Why do I enforce boundaries and still feel unsafe? Why do boundaries seem to make my relationships worse? Why do I feel calm but alone after setting boundaries? This conversation reframes boundaries through a CPTSD-informed lens. Not as rigid rules or protective walls, but as signals of internal trust. When boundaries are built on fear, they often isolate. When they emerge from Self-trust, they become simple, neutral, and relational. This episode introduces a CycleBreaker's way of understanding boundaries, one that prioritizes internal safety, clarity, and connection rather than control or withdrawal. If you live with CPTSD and feel exhausted by boundary work, this episode will help you understand why and show you a more sustainable path forward. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences.  https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

When you live with CPTSD, the urge to control often has nothing to do with power and everything to do with perceived threat. In this episode, I explore how controlling patterns emerge from Protective Parts that learned vigilance when something essential was once truly at risk: safety, attachment, stability, or dignity. Control became a strategy for survival when support and trust were not available. Over time, however, control can create instability in relationships. What begins as an attempt to prevent pain can unintentionally make others feel unsafe, reinforcing the very isolation and threat the system is trying to avoid. I share how CPTSD shapes these protective responses, why responsibility and hyper-vigilance become intertwined, and how you can begin to locate more trust both internally and externally. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences.  https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.    

Thought loops are one of the most painful and confusing parts of living with CPTSD. You try to stop thinking about something, but your mind keeps spiraling. You feel stuck, ashamed, and exhausted. In this episode, I explain why CPTSD creates these loops, why they feel impossible to escape, and how you can interrupt them without force, judgment, or shame. You will learn a step-by-step process called HONOR that helps CPTSD survivors work directly with the fear, prediction, and inherited family narratives driving the loop. Instead of wasting precious time trapped in anxiety, you will learn how to transform the loop into an opportunity for healing, clarity, and Self Leadership. We will explore: • Why CPTSD thought loops form in the first place • The role of fear and inherited family patterns in creating mental spirals • Why simply telling yourself to "stop thinking about it" never works • How to interrupt the loop using HONOR • How to reclaim your internal leadership so the loop no longer runs your day If you live with CPTSD and want practical, real-world guidance to break free from the mental spirals that steal your time, energy, and peace, this episode will meet you right where you are and show you a way forward. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

So many childhood trauma survivors carry the same belief: If I explain myself clearly enough, they will finally love me the right way. This urge to over-explain is a predictable pattern inside CPTSD. It keeps you working far harder for safety than the other person ever will. This is not a communication issue. It is a capacity issue. You cannot talk someone into being safe, and you cannot use vulnerability or emotional labor to create secure attachment in someone who cannot sustain it. In this episode, I break down the trauma pattern underneath repeated explaining, including younger Parts protesting, reenactments of unpredictable childhood love, and the CPTSD belief that connection is earned through clarity, effort, or emotional performance. You will learn how to recognize the real signal CPTSD is sending: If you must teach someone how to offer basic respect, that is information about the relationship itself. We walk through the Self Leadership move that changes everything. Stop explaining. Start observing. See who they become without your coaching. You will also hear what the dream outcome looks like when your CPTSD is no longer running the show. You choose relationships where you do not need to narrate your worth. You choose people who show care, consistency, and genuine prioritization without being trained. This episode helps you interrupt over-explaining, reclaim your power, and recognize when a relationship cannot meet the safety your healing requires. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

Clinginess is not desperation. It is the body's attempt to secure safety in a system shaped by unresolved CPTSD. What people label as "needy" or "too much" is often a trauma-driven response rooted in one belief: I cannot trust others, and I cannot trust myself. In this episode, I break down the attachment injuries created by CPTSD, how they form in environments where affection is unpredictable or conditional, and why clinginess is not a fixed personality trait. When your system finally experiences real safety, clinginess softens because your body no longer braces for disappearance. You will learn how CPTSD shows up as clinginess in adult relationships and healing spaces, including the need for constant reassurance, panic when you do not hear back, attaching too quickly, or leaving before you can be left. These are trust injuries, not personal flaws. We end with practical steps to soften clinginess over time and prompts to help you identify which Parts are using closeness as a survival strategy and what they need to feel safe enough to trust again. Your clinginess is not who you are. Your system is still trying to locate safety. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

Why do relationships hurt so much for me? If you are asking this question as a childhood trauma survivor who ended up with CPTSD, this episode will help you feel seen and understood. I share how, at both the micro and macro level, CPTSD shapes the way you interpret other people's behavior, how you respond during interactions, and how repeated stressors and betrayals in your early attachment context alter your development in ways that follow you into adulthood. You will learn how CPTSD affects your relational filters, why certain reactions feel automatic or overwhelming, and what actually shifts once you begin healing the internal system that has been trying to protect you for decades. Questions answered in this episode: Why are relationships so painful for people with CPTSD? How does CPTSD distort my sense of safety in relationships? Why do I react so strongly to small moments of conflict or distance? How do I stop repeating the same painful patterns? Can CPTSD healing help me build healthier, steadier connections?   I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

Unresolved CPTSD creates internal pressure that often shows up as pushing people away, even when you desperately want closeness. When your nervous system is running trauma energies, connection feels like danger. You flip between caretaking and harsh judgment because your original attachment loop was never closed. The result is confusion, shame, and the painful sense that you are either too much or not enough in your relationships. This episode breaks down exactly why this happens inside CPTSD and how to interrupt the pattern in real time. You will learn the developmental gap created by anxious attachment, why other people's emotions overwhelm you so quickly, and what it looks like to regulate before you relate. Healing begins when you understand the CPTSD blueprint driving your reactions. Questions answered in this episode: Why do I push people away when I want closeness? Why do I flip between caretaking and resentment? Why do other people's emotions overwhelm me so quickly? How can I stay grounded instead of running or attacking? How do I break the pattern of anxious attachment? 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop If you have the time and the money for your healing but no real plan, this workshop is for you. Over four live sessions, I teach "The Map" for a two-year "had CPTSD" journey so you can stop improvising and start following a diagnosis-based plan that actually makes sense. You will leave with clear direction, practical next steps, and the confidence to move forward with purpose. → Save your seat at cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.

Unresolved CPTSD shapes what you may believe is your personality. When you are running trauma energies, your nervous system does not yet believe you are safe. That constant sense of danger drives behavior that feels rigid, confusing, or self-defeating, but these patterns are not fixed. They are survival programs that can be unlearned and reorganized through CPTSD Resolution. This episode explains why you sometimes feel difficult to be around, why certain reactions repeat, and how to understand the deeper architecture beneath these patterns. When you see the mechanism clearly, you can stop blaming yourself and begin changing what once felt immovable. Questions answered in this episode: How can I change my personality? Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes in relationships? Why do I always attract the same people? How can I reprogram my subconscious mind? 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Learn the exact framework Dr. Wallace uses to help students resolve CPTSD at the root. You'll leave with a personalized plan for your CPTSD Resolution, new insight into how to leverage your existing supports more effectively, and renewed clarity about your healing path. → Save your seat at cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.

When should I leave a relationship if I have CPTSD? Many complex trauma survivors find themselves in relationships that feel consuming, confusing, or impossible to let go of. These patterns do not emerge because you are weak or needy. They emerge because your nervous system learned to bond through fear, urgency, and survival rather than safety, steadiness, and choice. In this episode, you will learn how to create the kind of love that feels safe and real. You will understand the internal map that helps you move out of trauma-driven attachment cycles and into partnership that honors your worth, your needs, and your future. How can I start to learn that I am worthy of the kind of love I want? How can I get better at recognizing red flags before I give my heart away? 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Learn the exact framework Dr. Wallace uses to help students resolve CPTSD at the root. You'll leave with a personalized plan for your CPTSD Resolution, new insight into how to leverage your existing supports more effectively, and renewed clarity about your healing path. → Save your seat at cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

Why do I have the fear of abandonment? When you live with CPTSD, attachment threats activate the oldest and most overwhelming survival responses in your system. The fear of being left is not simply emotional discomfort. It can feel like a full-body alarm, a collapse in your sense of safety, and a terror that you will not survive the pain. This experience is common, deeply uncomfortable, and confusing. In this episode, you will learn why abandonment fear feels so intense, how it forms, and what actually helps you begin to soothe it. Healing begins when you understand the internal mechanics rather than blaming yourself for the reactions you cannot yet control. What are the signs of abandonment issues? How do I heal my fear of abandonment? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

Am I recreating my trauma in my work life? Many survivors build entire careers from fear, hypervigilance, shame, and the need to stay one step ahead of disappointment. These patterns can drive impressive achievement, but the cost is steep. Instead of feeling proud, you feel trapped. Instead of feeling fulfilled, you feel depleted. Instead of choosing your work, it feels like it is choosing you. This episode explains how trauma can shape professional success, how to spot when your career has been built inside survival mode, and what it looks like to reclaim your work as a reflection of your True Self rather than a response to unresolved CPTSD. Is my productivity a coping response to unresolved CPTSD? Is my entire personality a trauma response? Have I used achievement to feel safe? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

How do you become more confident? Confidence is not a personality trait. It is a nervous system state. When you live with CPTSD, confidence often feels out of reach because your body is wired for caution, preparation, and self-doubt. Trauma patterns can disguise themselves as humility, politeness, or carefulness, even though they are really strategies for staying safe. In this episode, you will learn what confidence actually feels like in the body, how to recognize the trauma-driven patterns that mask themselves as "being realistic," and what it takes to rebuild trust in your own strength and perspective. How do I deal with low confidence? What steps can I take to feel more confident in myself? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.      

What are the trust issues with C-PTSD? Self-trust collapses when you grow up in an environment where your perceptions were dismissed, your emotions were minimized, or your needs were ignored. Over time, you learn to outsource your judgment, second-guess your instincts, and assume others know better than you. This is not a flaw. It is conditioning. In this episode, you will learn three practices that begin rebuilding self-trust today. These shifts help you move from confusion and self-doubt into clarity and confidence. When you understand how CPTSD disrupts your internal guidance system, you can finally begin strengthening it from the inside out. Do people with C-PTSD self-sabotage? How do I learn to trust myself? How do you overcome trust issues? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

How do you know when it is time to call it quits in a relationship? This is one of the hardest decisions a survivor of CPTSD will ever make. Emotional intensity, fear of abandonment, hope for repair, and old attachment wounds can collapse into each other, creating urgency and confusion at the exact moment when you need clarity the most. This episode offers five powerful inquiries to explore before you choose to stay or go. These practices help you pause, contain the emotional surge, and bring discernment to a decision that may shape the rest of your life. When you understand what is happening inside the trauma ecosystem of CPTSD, you can choose from stability instead of fear. How do I know whether to stay or go in a relationship? What are the signs a relationship is failing? A protocol for tapering long-term antidepressant use https://www.releasetoolkit.com.au/release-toolkit-for-consumers#antidepressant-tapering-plans NOTE: I recommend that you share and discuss the RELEASE resources with your doctor. The information in the RELEASE resources is not medical advice. The RELEASE resources have been designed to help your doctor to help you. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

Is it impossible to create or keep close relationships with CPTSD? No. But unresolved CPTSD makes relationships confusing, fragile, and emotionally overwhelming. Many survivors try to hold relationships together by over-functioning, people-pleasing, suppressing their needs, ignoring their body signals, or staying stuck in survival mode dynamics. These missteps are not failures. They are adaptations that once kept you safe. This episode names the patterns that keep you locked in painful cycles and explains what secure attachment actually requires when CPTSD is present. When you understand the relational architecture beneath your reactions, you can begin building real connection instead of recreating old wounds. How does CPTSD affect relationships? Do people with CPTSD sabotage relationships? Can I have a healthy relationship with CPTSD? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD   Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.  

Why is CPTSD so hard to live with? Because it shapes how you see yourself, how you read other people, and how you choose relationships. The hurt is not random. It comes from old patterns that formed when you had no protection, no support, and no space to be fully yourself. Those same patterns show up today in the moments when you feel misunderstood, unseen, or unchosen. This episode invites you to evaluate your past relationships, and even your present ones, from a place of strength rather than self-blame. When you finally understand the dynamics shaped by CPTSD, you can begin building healthy love from clarity instead of pain. Why does complex PTSD hurt so much? How do I comfort someone with CPTSD? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.