Breakup to Blessing

After a breakup, it's common to hear advice telling you to "reconnect with yourself" and "build your self-worth." But knowing what to do and knowing how to do it — or whether it's actually helping — are very different things. In this episode, I explore why so many people feel stuck after a breakup, even when they're doing everything they're told should help. We look at what happens when self-worth has historically come from external validation, why breakups can feel like a loss of identity, and how the nervous system seeks reassurance when emotional safety is suddenly removed. I talk about why healing doesn't always feel better straight away, how to recognise whether your efforts are genuinely supporting you, and how to tell the difference between discomfort that's part of growth and patterns that may be keeping you stuck. This episode also explores how self-worth is rebuilt through self-trust, emotional self-containment, and learning to stay with yourself during difficult emotions — rather than outsourcing them. This conversation is for anyone who feels lost after a breakup, questions whether they're healing "correctly," or wants a deeper understanding of what rebuilding self-worth actually looks like in real life. Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation Work with Sylvia and Book a 10x session package: https://sylviasuwan.com

Starting over can feel like failure — especially after a breakup, divorce, or major life change. We tell ourselves we've wasted time, that we're behind, or that we should have tried harder to make it work. In this episode, I'm reframing the idea of starting over and exploring why it feels so heavy — and how it can actually become one of the most liberating and clarifying seasons of your life. We talk about the sunk cost fallacy, why staying just because you've already invested so much keeps people stuck, and how the meaning you attach to "starting again" shapes your future far more than the circumstance itself. This episode is for anyone who feels ashamed about having to begin again, feels rushed by comparison, or is struggling to let go of a past they thought would last forever. In this episode, we explore: Why starting over feels like failure — and why it isn't How the sunk cost fallacy keeps people stuck in relationships that no longer serve them The difference between learning from the past and ruminating on it How lessons can turn into wisdom — or emotional weight Why the belief that you're "behind" creates panic and poor decisions Letting go of timelines, comparison, and external pressure How starting over can actually be a sign of self-trust and alignment Practical ways to approach a new chapter without rushing or settling Key takeaways: Starting over doesn't mean you failed. It means you're listening. It means you're integrating what you've learned instead of repeating it. And it means you're choosing to move forward with more awareness, clarity, and self-respect than before. If you're in a season of rebuilding — after a breakup, divorce, or identity shift — this episode will help you reframe where you are and reconnect with the power of the present moment. Work with Sylvia: Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

After a breakup, everyone tells you to "find yourself" — but what does that actually mean? And more importantly, is it even the right question to ask? In this episode, I'm breaking down why the whole concept of "finding yourself" after a relationship ends might be setting you up for frustration, and what you should focus on instead. In this episode, we cover: Why "finding yourself" is the wrong framework (and what to ask instead) The neuroscience of heartbreak — why breakups feel like physical pain and why separation is so difficult How relationships create neural coupling and nervous system co-regulation (and what happens when that suddenly stops) The difference between losing yourself and becoming enmeshed — and why women are particularly vulnerable to this pattern Why the standard advice (yoga, journaling, solo travel) often becomes performative rather than transformative Values archaeology: Whose values have you actually been living? How to trace back what's truly yours vs what you inherited Desire mapping: How to relearn what you actually want when you've spent years accommodating others Boundary experimentation: Small steps to reclaim your space without isolating yourself Integration work: What becomes possible now that wasn't before? How to take everything you've learned and consciously choose what to keep The Emily in Paris example: How exposure to new experiences reveals parts of yourself that were always there but never had room to exist Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation If you are ready to work with Sylvia book a 10 session package: https://www.sylviasuwan.com/work-with-me

Starting the new year without your ex? Feeling that mix of hope and loneliness as you try to move forward? In this episode, I'm giving you the exact framework I wish I had during my first New Year after a breakup. This isn't about setting vague intentions that fizzle out by February. This is about creating real, sustainable change in your life using a proven 9-step goal attainment framework designed specifically for breakup recovery. In This Episode, You'll Learn: The 9 Steps to Transform Your Life After a Breakup: Get Crystal Clear on What You Actually Want - Move beyond "I want to be happy" and define what your life actually looks like when you've moved forward Identify Your Deep Why - Discover the real reason this goal matters to you (not just surface-level motivation) Make a Concrete Plan - Break down your goal into specific, actionable behaviors you can schedule and commit to Celebrate Small Wins and Build Belief - Learn why daily wins are more powerful than waiting for big transformations Track and Monitor Your Progress - Use the "engine momentum" approach to keep yourself moving forward Manage Your Emotions - Regulate your feelings so they don't derail your progress (emotions are signals, not signs to quit) Stay Flexible and Keep Learning - Adapt your plan as you discover more about what you want and need Surround Yourself with Mentorship - Choose your environment wisely and consume content from people who have the results you want Align Your Environment - Set up your space and routines to support your goals, not sabotage them Key Takeaway: You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to take the next step, and then the next one. That's how you build momentum. That's how you transform this heartbreak into your breakthrough. Resources Mentioned: Atomic Habits by James Clear Action Step: Pick ONE goal this week. Get specific, write down your why, identify three actionable steps, schedule them in your calendar, and track your small wins daily. Connect with Sylvia: Instagram: @sylviasuwan Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

In this deeply personal episode, I'm sharing the most important lessons and reflections from my own growth journey this year. This isn't me speaking from my therapist lens—it's me as a human navigating the messy, uncomfortable, necessary work of growth. What You'll Learn: Learning to Be Okay with the Hard Why resistance makes everything worse, and how accepting discomfort changes everything Growth Requires Increasing Your Capacity Why you can't have different results without becoming a different version of yourself Taking Responsibility for Your Own Happiness How I stopped making my husband responsible for my emotional wellbeing (and why that actually improved our marriage) What Destroys Relationships—With or Without Kids The surprising truth about what makes or breaks relationships, regardless of your circumstances When You're in Growth Periods, Life is Mostly Miserable Why discomfort isn't a sign you're doing it wrong—it's a sign you're doing it right Essentialism and Prioritising Your Values How to stop saying yes to everything and start protecting what actually matters Don't Forget the Basics Why sleep, nutrition, and movement matter more than any productivity hack Why Simple is Best How we overcomplicate everything to avoid doing the simple (but hard) work Life is Too Short to Care What Other People Think Getting clear on your values and living by your own compass, not someone else's script It's Not Happiness We Should Chase—It's Peace and Contentment Why chasing happiness keeps you miserable, and what to cultivate instead 🎯 Ready to make 2026 YOUR breakthrough year? Join my FREE Masterclass: "Let Go of Your Ex and Move On" Register now  to watch live or get the replay Can't make it live? No worries—register anyway and I'll send you the replay 📲 Connect with me: Instagram: @sylviasuwan (DM me for the masterclass link!)

Quick bonus episode with an important announcement! I have a free live masterclass happening next week that I created specifically to help you kickstart your new year and finally move on from your ex. Live Masterclass Details: When: Monday, December 29th at 6pm AEST Where: Register at sylviasuwan.com or check the link in show notes Cost: FREE Replay: Available for all registrants (perfect if you can't make it live due to time zones) What This Masterclass Will Cover: Why you feel like your feelings are outside of your control and how that keeps you paralyzed Why it's not your fault (and nothing to be ashamed of) that you still want to be with your ex The real reason most people resist moving forward and what they make "letting go" mean Why some people seem to "handle" breakups better and move on faster (spoiler: nothing is wrong with you) What actually works to get you out of hopelessness and failure—and what doesn't The tangible things you need to do right now to get on with your life Who This Is For: This masterclass is for you if you've tried everything you're told you should do but still want to be with your ex or don't know how to be without them. It's for the person who is truly suffering and struggling to understand why. Why This Is Different: I've seen what works and what doesn't work in breakup recovery. This masterclass addresses exactly why healing works for some people and not others—and I'm sharing strategies you won't have heard before. Register Now Visit sylviasuwan.com or click the link above. Even if you can't make it live, register to get access to the replay.

The holidays can be brutal when you're still healing from a breakup. Everyone else seems to be celebrating with their loved ones while you're on the outside looking in. This episode isn't about making you feel better with platitudes—it's about empowering you to take control of your story. In this episode, I'm getting real about why sitting in hopelessness keeps you stuck, and what you can do right now to start building the life you actually want. Because the truth is, no one is coming to save you. But the good news? You have everything you need to save yourself. What You'll Learn: Why this difficult moment is temporary (even when it doesn't feel like it) How to shift from "there's nothing left for me" to "what can I create?" The question that will help you make this hard time count for something Why progress—not distraction—is what actually brings you up What makes someone attractive to be around (and whether you'd want to spend time with yourself right now) The biggest mistake people make about relationships that keeps them isolated How to stop waiting for someone else to make you feel better The Hard Truth: Relationships aren't about finding someone to fill the void. They're about what you contribute. If you're sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, you're not going to attract a great partner—you're going to attract someone just like you. And that's not who you want to be around. Your Next Step: Pick one thing you're going to do today to move yourself forward. Start building the life you want instead of waiting for someone else to create it for you. The life you want is on the other side of the action you take today. Work With Me: Book a free consultation https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

You did it. You made it through 28 days of choosing yourself when it felt impossible. Now what? In this FINAL episode of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're talking about what happens next. The challenge might be ending, but your journey is just beginning. This episode covers how to move forward with intention, stay connected to yourself, trust your judgment again, and build a next chapter you're genuinely excited about - plus two special bonuses to support your continued transformation. What You'll Learn: Why completing 28 days is the foundation, not the finish line How to avoid slipping back into old patterns after the challenge ends The commitment that keeps you connected to yourself when life gets busy again How to rebuild trust in yourself and your judgment What to do if your ex reaches out now (and how to know if you're ready) How to build a life that feels great with or without a relationship The difference between filling a void vs. adding to something that already exists Why you need to keep doing the work even when you feel better Key Topics Covered: Moving forward with intention vs. sliding back into old habits Maintaining connection with yourself when you have other options The non-negotiables that keep you grounded no matter what Trusting yourself doesn't mean never making mistakes Building trust through keeping commitments to yourself How to know if you're ready to respond if your ex reaches out Creating a life that a relationship enhances, not defines Using momentum from the challenge to create lasting change The power of visualising your future self This Episode Is For You If: You've completed (or nearly completed) the 28-day challenge, you're wondering what happens next, you're afraid of slipping back into old patterns, you want to know how to maintain your progress, you're ready to build something you're actually excited about, or you need guidance on what to do if your ex reaches out now. The Truth About What Happens After Day 28: Completing 28 days of no contact is an achievement, but it's not the finish line - it's the foundation. What often happens: People complete the challenge → feel better → slowly slip back into old patterns → start checking social media again → respond when ex reaches out → stop doing helpful routines → end up back where they started What should happen: Moving forward with intention - making conscious choices about what to keep doing, continuing practices that helped you heal, staying vigilant about patterns and triggers. Staying Connected to Yourself: The biggest shift during this challenge is reconnecting with yourself - remembering who you are outside the relationship and building a life that feels like yours. The challenge now? Maintaining that connection when: Life gets busy Things feel good again The pain isn't as sharp anymore Someone new shows interest You have other options Solution: Create non-negotiables that keep you connected to who you are, no matter what happens in your life. Trusting Yourself Again: Breakups make you doubt your judgment, intuition, and decision-making. You think: "I chose this person, I stayed - clearly I can't trust myself." But here's the truth: You CAN trust yourself. Every day you chose not to reach out during this challenge, you were building trust with yourself. Trusting yourself means: You know that even when things don't work out, you'll be okay You'll handle it, learn from it, and keep going You honour your boundaries and commitments to yourself What If Your Ex Reaches Out Now? Should you respond? It depends on: Why they're reaching out What you actually want Whether you've genuinely healed or still hope for reconciliation You're probably NOT ready if: You immediately feel that pull, excitement, or hope Your first thought is "maybe this means they've changed" You're thinking "maybe we can work it out now" You might be ready if: Your first thought is "I need to think about whether I even want to engage with this" You have distance and perspective You're clear about what you're hoping to get from the interaction Building Your Next Chapter: This challenge was about getting over your ex. Now it's about creating a life you're genuinely excited about. Questions to ask yourself: What have I discovered about myself during this challenge? What do I want to keep building? What kind of life do I want to create? The goal: Build a life that feels great with or without a relationship. When someone does come along, they're adding to something that already exists - not completing something that feels incomplete. Choose from abundance, not scarcity. Key Quote: "Your breakup doesn't define you, but how you respond to it does. You can let it break you, or you can let it build you. You can stay stuck in what was, or you can start creating what's next." 🎁 FREE BONUS: Guided Visualisation Audio Connect to your future self - the version of you who's already living the life you want, who's healed, confident, and built something incredible. This visualization helps your brain create a blueprint for where you're going, making your future feel real and tangible, not just a distant hope. Get it free: https://www.sylviasuwan.com/freeresources DM "perfectday" @sylviasuwan on Instagram Use this regularly - it's one of the most powerful tools for rebuilding your life. Ready to Go Deeper? Book your Breakthrough session now: https://sylviasuwan.com/breakthrough What's Possible: "What if it were possible for me to have an even better life than I had with my ex? What if I could be the creator of something incredible that wasn't so dependent on having them back in my life? What if THAT were possible?" Final Action Steps: Acknowledge yourself - You did something you weren't sure you could do Commit to your non-negotiables - What will you keep doing no matter what? Download the free visualisation - Use it regularly to connect to your future self Decide if you're ready to go deeper - If you felt momentum during this challenge, use it Key Truth: "You've already proven you can do hard things. You've already proven you can choose yourself. Now keep going. This is just the start of your next chapter and you get to write it however you want."

You've made it through the hardest part - but what happens after day 28? And how do you make sure you don't just repeat the same patterns with someone new? In Episode 7 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're looking ahead. No contact isn't forever - it's meant to give you space to heal and gain clarity. This episode reveals the 5 signs you're actually ready to move forward, what healthy love looks like (so you can finally recognize it), and the deeper work you need to do to break your patterns for good. What You'll Learn: The 5 signs that tell you you're actually healed (not just feeling better temporarily) What healthy love looks like: consistency, security, boundaries, and growth Why healthy relationships still have conflict (but it feels completely different) The red flags you absolutely cannot ignore anymore How to recognize YOUR OWN patterns (not just theirs) The questions that reveal what you need to work on Why rushing into something new will just recreate the same dynamic The deeper work that actually changes your relationship patterns Key Topics Covered: The difference between healed and just distracted Why there's no clear "finish line" to healing Healthy love is consistent (not hot and cold, not anxious) The difference between "relationships take work" and "constantly struggling" Security: being yourself without fear of judgment or rejection Boundaries in healthy relationships (togetherness AND separateness) Why healthy conflict doesn't feel like the end of the world Red flags: inconsistency, avoiding conversations, dismissing boundaries If you're more anxious in the relationship than single, something is wrong Understanding the role YOU played in the dynamic Where your relationship patterns come from (and how to change them) This Episode Is For You If: You're wondering if you're actually ready to date again, you want to know what healthy love looks like so you can recognize it, you're afraid of choosing the same type of person, you keep repeating the same patterns, or you're tempted to rush into something new to prove you're over your ex. The 5 Signs You're Ready to Move Forward: You can think about your ex without it disrupting your day - You might feel a bit sad or nostalgic, but it doesn't send you spiraling for hours You're no longer checking up on them - No social media stalking, no asking mutual friends, no "accidentally" showing up places You can see the relationship clearly - Both the good AND the bad. Not romanticizing or villainizing. Just seeing it for what it was. You're excited about your own life again - Not just surviving, but actually looking forward to things that have nothing to do with them You can genuinely wish them well - Not "I hope they realize what they lost," but truly hoping they find happiness even if it's not with you What Healthy Love Actually Looks Like: ✓ Consistent - Not hot and cold. You know where you stand. Actions match words. No constant anxiety about whether they still care. ✓ Secure - You can be yourself without fear. Your needs are met with care, not defensiveness. You're not walking on eggshells. ✓ Has Boundaries - Both maintain individual identities, friendships, interests. Beautiful balance of togetherness and separateness. ✓ Navigates Conflict Together - Disagreements happen, but they don't feel like the end. You work through issues without threatening to leave or bringing up the past. ✓ Grows You - You become better because they inspire and support your growth, not because you're trying to be good enough for them. ✓ Feels Like Teamwork - Relationships take work, but it shouldn't feel like you're fighting to keep something alive that wants to die. Key Truth: "If you were constantly trying to convince your ex to choose you, to show up for you, to prioritize you - that's not what healthy love looks like. Healthy love is two people who are both in, both trying, both committed." Red Flags You Can't Ignore Anymore: 🚩 Inconsistency - Interest fluctuates based on their mood or stress level. You feel like a nuisance when life gets hard for them. 🚩 Avoiding Difficult Conversations - They shut down, get defensive, or turn it around on you every time you try to address an issue. 🚩 Not Respecting Boundaries - They dismiss, minimize, or repeatedly cross boundaries you've expressed. 🚩 Making You Feel Too Much or Not Enough - You constantly prove your worth or apologize for your needs and emotions. 🚩 More Anxious With Them Than Single - If you feel more secure alone than with them, something is fundamentally wrong. The Deeper Work: Breaking YOUR Patterns: It's not just about recognizing red flags in other people - it's about recognizing your own patterns. Ask yourself: What role did I play in the relationship that just ended? Was I the one who gave too much? Ignored red flags because of potential? Lost myself trying to be what they needed? What did this relationship show me about myself? What patterns of behavior did I notice in myself? What beliefs about love and relationships were driving my choices? These patterns don't just happen TO you - you participate in them. Until you understand why you do what you do, you'll keep choosing the same type of person or playing the same role with a different person. Important: Go back and listen to the red flags again. Be honest - do YOU exhibit any of those behaviors? If you want to be part of a healthy relationship, you need to show up healthy too. The Danger of Rushing Into Something New: Don't rush into a new relationship just because you're feeling better. Don't use someone new to prove you're over your ex or to fill the void they left. You need time to: Integrate what you learned Work on your patterns Build your life Know yourself outside of a relationship If you haven't done the work, you'll just recreate the same dynamic with a different person. Key Quote: "These patterns don't just happen to you - you participate in them. And until you understand why you do what you do, you'll keep choosing the same type of person or playing the same role with a different person." Action Steps: Assess your readiness - Review the 5 signs. Where are you honestly at? Write down what healthy love looks like to you - Use this episode as a guide. What are your non-negotiables? Identify YOUR patterns - What role did you play? What kept showing up? Be brutally honest. Trace your beliefs - Where did your beliefs about love come from? Childhood? Past relationships? What you saw modeled? Don't rush - Give yourself time to integrate everything before dating again. Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation Download the Workbook: https://www.sylviasuwan.com/no-contact-workbook

 You've made it through the hardest part - now it's time to build something new. But how do you fill all that empty space where they used to be? In Episode 6 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're getting practical about rebuilding your daily life. Healing isn't just about what you don't do (like not texting your ex) - it's about what you do instead. This episode gives you the exact framework for creating routines that support your healing, filling the void they left, and redirecting all that mental energy toward something meaningful. What You'll Learn: Why routines are the key to healing (and how they rewire your brain away from them) How to create a morning routine that doesn't start with checking their social media The exact strategy for filling the hardest times (weekends, evenings, your old "date nights") Why movement and exercise are non-negotiable for releasing trapped grief How to rebuild your social life when your circles overlapped What to do with all that mental and emotional energy that has nowhere to go Why discipline (not motivation) is what gets you through Key Topics Covered: Why your brain defaults to thinking about them (and how new routines change that) The morning matters most: setting the tone for your entire day Identifying your three hardest times and planning for them in advance Why consistency beats intensity (one walk won't change anything, daily walks change everything) How movement helps release grief, stress, and anxiety trapped in your body Using heartbreak as fuel instead of letting it drain you Why some of your best healing moments happen during walks Creating new social patterns so you're not relying on one person for everything The difference between distraction and intentional redirection This Episode Is For You If: You're past the initial shock but don't know what to do with yourself now, your entire routine was built around them and now there are gaps everywhere, you keep defaulting to checking their social media because you have nothing else to do, weekends or evenings feel impossible, or you have all this energy with nowhere to put it. The Gaps They Left Behind: When your ex was woven into your daily life, they left gaps: The person you texted good morning Who you had dinner with every night Who you spoke to after work Your weekend plans Your evening routine If you don't intentionally fill these gaps, your brain will default to thinking about them, checking on them, imagining scenarios. You need new routines. The Morning Routine That Changes Everything: What's the first thing you do when you wake up? If it's checking your phone for their social media or reading old texts, you're starting your day from a place of lack and pain. Instead, create a 15-20 minute morning routine: Make your bed and open the curtains Go for a walk around the block Do some stretching or movement Journal for 5 minutes Make a proper breakfast The key is consistency. Do the same thing every morning until it becomes automatic. Why Movement Is Non-Negotiable: Your body is holding grief, stress, anxiety - all of it. If you're not releasing it, it stays trapped. This is why you feel physically heavy or exhausted even when you haven't done anything. Movement releases it. Not intense workouts - just consistent movement. Walking, yoga, dancing, whatever gets you moving. One walk won't change anything. Daily walks change everything. Redirecting Your Mental Energy: After a breakup, you suddenly have all this mental and emotional energy with nowhere to put it. Energy that used to go toward your relationship is now just... floating. If you don't redirect it intentionally, it will default to obsessing over them. So redirect it: A project you've been putting off Learning a new skill Working toward a goal Starting a business Changing careers Moving somewhere you've always wanted to experience Use this heartbreak as fuel instead of letting it drain you. Channel that energy toward something you can control, something you can call your own. Key Quote: "How you start your day sets the tone for everything that follows. You're not looking for perfection, you're looking for progress - however small. The more you stick to your routines, the easier they become. What felt forced becomes natural. What required willpower becomes automatic." Action Steps This Week: Create a simple morning routine - Commit to it for one week. Start small, even 10 minutes counts. Identify your 3 hardest times - Make a specific plan for each one. Don't leave it vague - actually plan what you'll do. Schedule movement every day - Even just a 15-minute walk. Put it in your calendar like any other appointment. Reach out to one person - Make actual plans with a date and time. Not "we should hang out sometime." Sydney Meetup Group: Join Sylvia's Sydney meetup group for social events, fun activities, free workshops, and webinars designed to help you connect with others going through similar experiences while rebuilding your life. Join here Truth About Discipline: Creating new routines requires discipline. There will be mornings you don't want to get up. Evenings you don't want to go out. Moments when lying in bed thinking about them feels easier. But you have to show up anyway. Not because you feel like it, but because you committed to yourself. Because on the other side of this discipline is the life you want. Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

You can picture your past with them and you were planning a future with them - but can you picture yourself without them? If the answer is no, this episode is for you. In Episode 5 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're diving into something uncomfortable but essential: who you actually are outside of this relationship. We'll explore how you lost yourself, what you've been settling for instead of what you actually need, and how to start rebuilding an identity that's genuinely yours. What You'll Learn: What a relationship identity crisis is (and why you're experiencing one) The questions you need to ask yourself about who you were before them What parts of yourself you minimized, hid, or gave up in the relationship The difference between your actual needs and what you've been settling for Why you keep repeating the same relationship patterns (and the beliefs driving them) How to rebuild your identity from the inside out (not just "pick up old hobbies") Why building a relationship with yourself comes before finding healthy love with someone else Key Topics Covered: How the "me" and "we" blur in relationships (and why that's a problem) Were you happy in the relationship or just happy to be in a relationship? The subtle ways you made yourself smaller to fit Confusing intensity for compatibility (passion isn't the same as security) Core needs vs wants: emotional safety, consistency, respect for autonomy Accepting breadcrumbs and calling it a meal Why reconnecting inward comes before going outward Developing self-awareness while living your life (not obliviously) This Episode Is For You If: You struggle to imagine a future without them in it, you can't answer "what do you like to do?" without referencing the relationship, you've realized you don't know who you are anymore, you keep choosing the same type of person, or you suspect you've been settling for less than you deserve. The Hard Questions You Need to Ask: Before this relationship, what made you feel alive? Did those things fall away? What parts of yourself did you minimize or hide to fit the relationship? Were you happy in the relationship, or happy with the idea of being in a relationship? Were your actual needs being met - consistently, not just when things were good? What's familiar about this heartbreak? Have you felt this way before? What role do you play in relationships - the giver, the fixer, the one who tries harder? Why do you accept less than what you need? The Pattern You're Repeating: Maybe you keep choosing emotionally unavailable people. Maybe you keep attracting people who need fixing. Maybe you give too much too soon and lose yourself every time. These patterns happen because of core beliefs about yourself, what you deserve, and what love is supposed to look like. How to Actually Rebuild Your Identity: Step 1: Reconnect inward FIRST Pay attention to your physical and emotional world throughout the day Develop self-awareness before trying to "fix" your life with activities Be connected to the process while living your life Step 2: Then go outward Try new activities while being aware of how they make you feel Learn new skills that force you to focus (instruments, sports, etc.) Notice what feels right vs what you're forcing Key Quote: "You won't find lasting, healthy love with someone else until you have that foundation within yourself. Someone else can't fill a void you haven't learned to fill yourself." Action Steps This Week: List who you were before - Your interests, goals, quirks before the relationship. What changed? What did you lose? What do you want to reclaim? Identify your 3 core needs - Not wants, but non-negotiables. Were they consistently met in your last relationship? Do one thing just for you - Nothing to do with your ex, healing, or future relationships. Something that makes you feel like yourself. 20 minutes of complete solitude - No phone, no distractions. Go to the beach or a park. Just sit with yourself. Notice what comes up. Truth Bomb: Were you accepting breadcrumbs and calling it a main meal? Did you make excuses like "they're just going through a tough time" or "they're not good at expressing emotions"? It's time to get honest about what you've been settling for. Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

You're in week two and the urge to reach out has never felt stronger. Before you text them, listen to this. In Episode 4 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're getting brutally honest about what actually happens when you break no contact - not the fantasy in your head, but the reality. We'll break down the five things breaking no contact costs you, and what you gain by staying strong even when it feels impossible. What You'll Learn: The fantasy vs. the reality of reaching out (and why it never goes how you hope) The 5 things breaking no contact actually costs you (time, self-respect, clarity, power, and future opportunities) Why breaking no contact is worse than going back to day one What you gain by staying strong: clarity, emotional stability, and genuine transformation How reactivating those neural pathways resets ALL your progress Why the urge to reach out doesn't mean you should reach out Concrete strategies for handling the moments you desperately want to text them Key Topics Covered: Why week two is when reality sets in and urges feel strongest What happens to your brain when you break no contact (neural pathway reactivation) How breaking no contact erodes trust in yourself The difference between temporary relief and lasting healing Why reaching out gives them power over your emotional state How no contact creates the clarity you can't see when you're entangled The transformation waiting for you if you protect your healing This Episode Is For You If: Week two is hitting you hard, you're questioning if you can really do this, you keep fantasizing about what would happen if you reached out, you're looking for permission to text them "just this once," or you need to understand what you're actually risking by breaking no contact. The Fantasy vs. The Reality: Fantasy: You reach out → they respond warmly → meaningful conversation → closure or reconnection Reality: You reach out → they don't respond (spiral) OR brief/polite response (confusion) OR warm response (false hope) → days of analyzing → more anxiety than before → ALL progress reset What Breaking No Contact Costs You: Time - You extend your healing timeline from weeks to months Self-Respect - You betray the commitment you made to yourself Clarity - You can't see the relationship objectively when you're still entangled Power - You give them control over your emotional state Future Opportunities - You miss what's in front of you while looking backward What Staying Strong Gives You: Clarity - You'll see the relationship (and the red flags) objectively Self-Respect - You prove you can do hard things and are worth choosing Emotional Stability - The roller coaster levels out; more good days, softer bad days Your Energy Back - Mental space for friends, hobbies, goals, growth Genuine Transformation - This becomes your turning point, not just your breaking point Free Resource: Download the Week 2 Survival Worksheet with practical strategies for when urges hit, how to handle specific triggers, what to do instead of reaching out, and action steps to stay strong. DM @sylviasuwan on Instagram Key Quote: "The urge to reach out is not a sign that you should reach out. It's just your brain doing what brains do. You can have the urge and not act on it. The discomfort you feel right now is temporary. But the self-respect you build by staying strong is permanent." Action Steps: Remind yourself of the real cost every time the urge hits Use the worksheet strategies when you want to reach out Remember: having the urge and choosing not to act on it is where your power lives Protect your progress - it's worth more than temporary relief Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation Download the Workbook: https://www.sylviasuwan.com/no-contact-workbook

In this impromptu episode, I'm breaking down exactly what it looks like to work with me and making an offer I don't usually make - because I know how much coaching can transform your life when you're actually ready to do the work. What You'll Learn: Why waiting for the "perfect time" keeps you stuck in the same patterns How coaching actually works and what transformation looks like in practice The difference between people who get results and people who stay stuck Why insight without action changes nothing What you can expect from working with me over 10 sessions The Offer: 40% off my 10-session coaching package (regularly $1200) Valid until June 2026 - use them on YOUR timeline Available for both new and existing clients Book weekly, fortnightly, or take breaks between intensive periods No limit on how many packages you can purchase at this rate Sale ends December 1st 2025 This package is for you if: You want to heal from past relationships and break the pattern You're ready to date but lack confidence to put yourself out there You're co-parenting and every interaction feels emotionally draining You want to improve your relationship with your children You don't know what you want, but you know you want a different life You're tired of repeating the same patterns Book Now: Visit sylviasuwan.com → Work With Me page Use code BLACKFRIDAY40 at checkout Questions? DM me on Instagram @sylviasuwan

It's 2am and you're staring at your phone, fighting every urge to text them. This episode gives you the exact system to stop yourself before you hit send. In Episode 3 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're getting tactical. You can't rely on willpower alone to get through this - you need a safety plan. This episode walks you through exactly how to set up barriers now (while you're thinking clearly) to protect Future You when you're not. What You'll Learn: Why willpower isn't enough (and what to use instead) The exact steps to remove access: delete, block, and create friction How to identify your vulnerable moments before they hit 5+ emergency strategies for when the urge to contact them feels unbearable What you're REALLY trying to get by reaching out (and how to give it to yourself instead) What to do if they reach out to you (and why you still shouldn't respond) How to recover if you slip up without spiraling Key Topics Covered: Creating systems, not relying on willpower The 15-minute rule that helps urges pass Understanding breadcrumbing and why responding keeps you stuck Writing the text without sending it (and what it reveals) Why reaching out never gives you what you think it will What to do with "just checking in" messages from your ex Recovering from a slip-up without giving up This Episode Is For You If: You keep almost texting them late at night, you're struggling to delete their number, you don't know what to do when the urge hits, you're afraid they'll reach out and you'll respond, or you've already broken no contact and feel like you've failed. Action Steps: Remove access NOW - delete their number, block/mute social media, delete text threads Write out your vulnerable moments (late nights? weekends? after drinking?) Create your emergency response list (at least 5 alternative actions) Identify your accountability person and tell them what you need Practical Tools You'll Get: ✓ The complete access removal checklist ✓ Emergency response strategies that actually work ✓ The question to ask yourself before you reach out ✓ How to handle it if they contact you ✓ What to do if you break no contact Key Quote: "The urge to contact your ex isn't actually about them. It's about what you think contacting them will give you. And reaching out doesn't give you any of those things - at least not in a lasting way." Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Are you missing who they actually were, or who you hoped they would become? This is the question that changes everything. In Episode 2 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we get real about the difference between facts and the stories you're telling yourself. We'll explore why some days feel impossibly hard even when you thought you were making progress, and why grief doesn't follow a straight path to healing. What You'll Learn: The difference between missing the person and missing the potential How to separate facts from the story you're hoping is true Why living in delusion keeps you stuck (and costs you your agency) Why grief comes in waves and doesn't follow the "stages" you've heard about What progress actually looks like (hint: it's not about feeling good every day) Exactly what to do on the really hard days Key Topics Covered: Reality vs. the fantasy you're holding onto How delusion steals your power and keeps you waiting Why your ex would be with you if they wanted to be (the hard truth) Non-linear grief and why setbacks don't mean you're failing Why some days feel harder than others for no reason Measuring progress by your responses, not your feelings This Episode Is For You If: You keep replaying conversations hoping they'll come back, you're struggling with days that feel like you're back at square one, you're holding onto the potential of what the relationship could have been, or you need permission to have hard days without judging yourself. Action Steps: Write down the facts vs. your interpretation - get brutally honest Give yourself permission to have hard days without judgment Notice your grief patterns - when are you most triggered? Tough Love Truth: "You can't heal from a fantasy. You can only heal from reality. If your ex wanted to be with you, they would be with you. That doesn't mean you have to like it - but you do have to accept what is actually happening so you can heal from it." Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Going through a breakup and can't stop thinking about your ex? Your brain is literally in withdrawal - and understanding why changes everything. In this first episode of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, I break down the neuroscience behind why breakups feel like physical pain, what's happening in your brain when you can't stop checking their Instagram, and why no contact is the most powerful tool you have for healing. What You'll Learn: The science behind breakup pain (and why you're not weak for struggling) What dopamine withdrawal actually means and how it affects your healing Why any contact - even "just checking in" - resets your progress The truth about closure (and why you can't get it from your ex) What no contact really is (and what it's NOT) How to identify your vulnerable moments before they derail you Key Topics Covered: Neuroplasticity and rewiring your brain after a breakup The dopamine highway your brain built with your ex Why cortisol is keeping you exhausted and anxious The closure myth and why you need to stop waiting for answers Creating distance to gain perspective on your relationship This Episode Is For You If: You're struggling with the urge to reach out, wondering if no contact actually works, questioning whether you can make it through, or feeling like you need "one more conversation" to get closure. Action Steps: Recommit to no contact - for yourself, not them Identify your vulnerable moments (late nights, loneliness, after drinks) Practice self-compassion - you're going through withdrawal, not weakness Book a consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation Work with Sylvia and Book a 10x session package here

I'm so excited to announce something I've been wanting to do for you all—a 28-Day No Contact Challenge starting next Monday. If you've been struggling to maintain no contact on your own, if your resolve keeps wavering, or if you just need support to keep going, this is for you. Over the next 4 weeks, I'm releasing 2 episodes per week to walk you through this journey together. This isn't just about not texting your ex—it's about rediscovering who you are, understanding your patterns, and using this experience as a catalyst for genuine transformation. With the end of the year approaching, this is your opportunity to show up as a different person so you can create a different outcome for next year. In this episode, I break down what to expect, why now is the perfect time to start, and what's waiting for you on the other side of these 28 days. We'll talk about connecting to your why, the opportunity in front of you, and how to set yourself up for success. This challenge is for everyone—whether you're actively reaching out or your ex just occupies too much mental space. If you're ready to redirect all that energy back to yourself and step into what's possible, let's do this together. Get the 28 Day Challenge episode sent straight to your inbox https://sylviasuwan.kit.com/28daychallenge Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

In this episode, Sylvia explores how our need for control and rigid life plans often block the very love, joy, and opportunities we're hoping to find. From relationship timelines and dating expectations to the stories we tell ourselves about how things "should" unfold, Sylvia unpacks why flexibility and openness are key to true connection and happiness. Through real-life examples and client stories, she reveals how letting go of rigid beliefs allows life to surprise us in the best possible ways. You'll learn how to recognize where control is holding you back, how to question the beliefs you've inherited from others, and how to open yourself up to the unexpected paths that lead to growth, love, and fulfillment. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your need for control might be blocking love and happiness How rigid beliefs and timelines create unnecessary pressure in relationships The difference between having standards and being inflexible Practical ways to become more adaptable in dating and daily life How letting go of "the plan" helps you attract what's truly meant for you Show Links: Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation Ready to work with Sylvia? Book a 10x session package and start your healing journey today: 10x Coaching Session Package

In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, we're diving into one of the most powerful shifts you can make in your relationships — learning the difference between speaking from fear and speaking from true vulnerability. So often, when we feel hurt, rejected, or misunderstood, our words come out as accusations, defenses, or silence. We push the people we love away while desperately wanting them to come closer. But what if there's another way — one that actually builds trust, intimacy, and safety instead of conflict? In this conversation, I unpack: ✨ The three ways fear-based communication shows up (and why it never works) ✨ What true vulnerability really sounds like — and why it's not weakness ✨ How to create emotional safety while expressing your needs ✨ What someone's response to your vulnerability actually reveals about them ✨ How to rebuild trust and rewire your fear of rejection through small, safe steps If you've ever found yourself saying things you don't mean when you're scared — or shutting down when you most want to connect — this episode will help you understand what's really happening underneath and how to change it. Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation If you are ready to work with Sylvia book a 10x session package and start today: https://sylviasuwan.com

If you've ever found yourself lying awake replaying conversations, analysing every text message, or feeling an overwhelming wave of panic that makes you want to pull away from someone you care about — this episode is for you. In today's episode, we're diving deep into anxiety in dating and relationships — what it looks like, why it happens, and how to begin healing it. You'll learn: The hidden ways anxiety shows up in your dating life Why your nervous system reacts as if emotional vulnerability is a threat How to tell the difference between intuition and anxious overthinking Why the right person can help you rewire your nervous system — and the wrong person can reinforce your fears What it actually takes to feel safe, secure, and open in love again Sylvia also shares a personal story about her own experience with anxiety in a healthy relationship, and how understanding her body's trauma response helped her rebuild trust and calm within herself. This episode will help you: ✨ Understand what's happening beneath your anxious thoughts ✨ Learn how to regulate your nervous system in the moment ✨ Identify whether your relationship is healing you or hurting you ✨ Realise that you are not broken — you're healing If you've ever thought "Why can't I just relax and enjoy dating?" — this conversation will give you clarity, compassion, and hope that you absolutely can. Key Quotes: "Your anxiety isn't trying to ruin your relationships — it's trying to protect you." "The goal isn't to eliminate anxiety, but to create safety so you can stay present even when it shows up." "With the right person, your nervous system learns that vulnerability can be safe." Show Links: Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation If you are ready to commit to your dating and relationship goals, work with Sylvia: 10x Session Package