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Welcome to an evolved "The Examined Lives" podcast! What started as a deep dive into the drama of the The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives reality show has evolved into a bold exploration of modern love, non-monogamy, and its portrayal in mainstream media.
Join hosts Lauren, an ENM relationship coach and swinger, and Ben, an ex-LDS polyamorist, as they bring their unique perspectives to mainstream media’s portrayal of ethical non-monogamy. From dissecting TV shows to sharing their own insights and experiences, Lauren and Ben invite you to laugh, learn, and rethink what love can look like.
Whether you're here for the spicy stories, thought-provoking discussions, or just some good company, this podcast is your go-to for real talk about relationships that break the mold. Buckle up—it’s about to get real, raw, and a little rebellious!
Still, unofficially representing real communities sometimes misrepresented in media
Hosted by: Lauren Hayes, Swinging Lifestyle Coach & her poly friend, Ben
22 Episodes
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Send us a text Ben and Lauren kick off this week’s episode with a few spicy tales from her latest swinger shenanigans at a lifestyle resort- because why ease in when you can dive right in? It’s late October, which means it’s officially Swinger Christmas (aka Halloween), so the party-talk begins. From there, they turn their attention to She’s Gotta Have It (2017), the bold, unapologetic series about Nola Darling - a free-spirited Black artist navigating love, sex, and identity as she dates thr...
Send us a text Lauren and Ben dive into Splitsville—the gloriously unhinged new movie where a handjob-fueled car crash leads to divorce, an “open marriage circus,” and a bro-fight so long it could’ve had intermission popcorn. Lauren actually saw the whole film (so you don’t necessarily have to), while Ben only managed the trailer—though that doesn’t stop him from handing out hot takes and wishing for raunchier American comedies. Along the way, we get weekend updates: cozy threesomes, Billy Id...
Send us a text Lauren and Ben kick off with Ben's hilariously mundane life updates - school stress and parties - while Lauren reveals about her French nudist swinger village jaunt, where badges are mandatory but clothing is not. This episode covers everything from unicorn cakes to awkward throuple jealousy. They dissect "Trigonometry," a slow-burn British gem where a couple accidentally throuples with their Olympic swimmer lodger, complete with vulva slip-ups, drag bar unicorn roasts, a...
Send us a text We started out as a reaction podcast to The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives because we haaaate it when our community is represented by those who know nothing about our community. Well, we were fooled by the click-bait, and it had little to do with our community. Ben and I pivoted and now we review shows with ENM themes. We review them and discuss how ENM is portrayed...and if the show is any good. We are a couple of friends - he's poly, I'm a swinger - and we love our commun...
Send us a text Fresh from the dusty desert plains of a Burning Man-esque festival, a sleepy Lauren and Ben kick things off with tales of naked bike rides, spanking vs. stomach-raspberries (you'll have to listen to find out who chose what), and a goddess statue with vape-juice teats. Then, they dive into the final season of "Compersion," a show with a plot so bonkers it leaves Ben speechless: a wife inviting her husband's affair partner over for lasagna to… get them back together?! Tune in for...
Send us a text Lauren kicks things off by humbling Ben’s enthusiasm—turns out she’s not soooo good, just “regular good.” From there, they dive into a lively pre-show chat that includes music festival misadventures and an unfiltered look at Lauren’s “Sacred Sluts” project. Then it's time for a no-holds-barred breakdown of Compersion Season 1: morning-after mishaps, questionable partner choices (maybe don’t date the kid’s teacher?), and the ever-controversial one-penis policy. There’s laughter,...
Send us a text Lauren and Ben trip over pleasantries straight into naked hot tubs, Tropicana slander, and the dread of floppy poolside antics. On this episode they dissect a movie about a polyamorous relationship (in the 20's!) and Wonder Woman's kinky origins. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women gets a solid review, along with plenty of made-up speculation. There are tangents on power dynamics and why Ben shouldn't date Sabrina Carpenter. As usual, it makes zero sense and perfect sense! ...
Send us a text Lauren’s fresh off a very successful swingers’ trip (tan lines included!), while Ben’s still mourning a flat tire that ruined his ski plans. Ouch! They dissect Netflix’s Wanderlust, calling out TV’s obsession with simultaneous orgasms and the awkwardness of meeting your partner's other partners. The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as they discuss the complexities of telling kids about polyamory, with Lauren and Ben sharing their personal experiences and the unexpected reac...
Send us a text Tune into "Examined Lives " where Lauren, the Swinging Lifestyle Coach, and her friend Ben dissect Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) in pop culture. This week, they discuss BBC's (now seen on Netflix) "Wanderlust", where a couple messily cheats their way into non-monogamy. They debate infidelity-as-a-gateway to non-monogamy, the perils of office masturbation (in a disabled toilet?), and whether train sex beats plane sex (it does). Lauren defends Utah's surprisingly secretive ENM scene...
Send us a text Lauren and Ben are back with their review and commentary on the rest of the Peacock series, Couple to Throuple. They'll break down the pairings, the swaps, and everything in between. Expect some drama, some laughs, maybe even a few tears—and of course, they’ll share their favorite contestants. Plus, stick around till the end for a fresh and funny take on the term compersion! STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swingin...
Send us a text If you’ve ever wondered what happens when The Bachelor meets ethical non-monogamy (ENM), here it is. Lauren and Ben dive into Couple to Throuple, the Peacock reality show that’s equal parts fascinating, cringe, and surprisingly educational. Spoiler: It’s not just about threesomes—it’s about feelings, boundaries, and the emotional ride of adding a third to your relationship. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach....
Send us a text Lauren and Ben are back with a fresh take on their podcast! Say goodbye to Mormon wife drama and hello to a spicier exploration of non-monogamy in mainstream media. In this episode, they dive into Netflix's "Easy," following the adventures (and misadventures) of Andy and Kyle - a power couple testing the waters of open marriage. Our hosts break down the show's portrayal of non-monogamy with wit and wisdom. They share their expert insights on everything from the "30...
Send us a text In this episode, Ben shares his experience at a body-positive, topless whiskey-tasting party, and Lauren recounts a comedy competition where swinging humor sparked mixed reactions—and some unexpected misunderstandings. With Halloween, aka “Swingers’ Christmas,” approaching, Lauren and Ben discuss their costume collections and themed parties. They recap The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives finale, covering Whitney’s departure from #MomTok, Jen and Zach’s uncertain future, and Taylor...
Send us a text Listen in as Lauren and Ben talk about episode 7 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which all takes place in Sin City. The women are getting along better than ever (sans Whitney) but now the husband and boyfriend cause most of the drama. Sexy male strippers & gambling are the backdrop, and we’ll discuss oily bodies, toxic monogamy & relationship and also the question of what it looks like to truly support a friend (sometimes it’s not pretty). STD Hero: or use coupon ...
Send us a text In this spicy episode Lauren and Ben discuss labiaplasty, why no one does paintings of balls and whether rubbing oil on a Chippendale's chest will keep you out of (Mormon) heaven. Speaking of heaven, Ben describes the Mormon afterlife and spoiler alert: the most obedient people still might get to have sex. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/inperson-retreats Get my book: For Better or Even Better: 7 Lesso...
Send us a text In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss friendship, ENM, stress, conflict and soda shops. While this episode focuses on the fracturing of the #MomTok gang, we discuss vulnerability and a different way to look at their conflict . We'll also discuss some Words of Wisdom in ENM / The Lifestyle as well as more on the LDS church. As always, join them for fun, silliness and a bit of education. STD Hero: or use coupon code Lauren10 at checkout. Retreats: https://www.swingingli...
Send us a text In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss Episode 4 of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives', sharing their personal updates before diving into THE key event, the “sh*t show” of the birthday celebration weekend. Ben educates us on the history and current use of Mormon garments, inspired by their favorite quote “Can we Door Dash garments?” The Truth Box serves its purpose at the party and certainly shakes things up within their friendships. Ben and I discuss it all, including their o...
Send us a text In this episode, Lauren and Ben discuss Episode 3 of 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives', sharing their personal updates before diving into key events such as a potluck confrontation, a controversial graduation party, and the impact of breaking community norms. They provide insights into Mormon culture, including health codes and gender roles, and compare these to norms within the swinger community. The episode concludes with an analysis of the growing divide between the 'saints...
Send us a text Lauren and Ben discuss the complexities of episode two from the series 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.' This episode, recorded 11 months post-Taylor's arrest, features Taylor's baby shower as a focal point. The hosts examine themes including the empowerment of women as breadwinners, the impact of swinging on their brands, and the pervasive shame surrounding sex in conservative cultures, particularly within Mormonism. They also explore the dynamics of non-monogamous relation...
Send us a text One host just got back from a 2500-couple sex convention. The other is sleepy by 11 PM. Let the games begin. Lauren and Ben tackle the profound TV show Dying for Sex. But not before they workshop the best story for a sprained finger. The whole thing descends into anarchy when Lauren realizes she missed the episode with all the kink, leaving Ben to explain dom/sub dynamics, dick-kicking, and the vital importance of bringing lasagna to a sex-party. STD Hero: or use coupon ...
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