Beat Motel Zine

Look, we've all been there. You go to a gig at a university campus that looks like a concrete fever dream from A Clockwork Orange, you feel ancient because the students are all drinking a gallon of water from Stanley cups instead of proper ale, and then you have to question your own bowel integrity because someone in the crowd is weaponising their flatulence. This week, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive into the "Normal Lineup, Weird Noises" theme—basically, what happens when a standard rock band decides to make sounds that shouldn't exist. We've got Jerskin Fendrix (aka Jocelyn Dent Pooley, the man with a name like a removal firm heir), the sonic separation of Big Business, and the avant-garde chaos of Deerhoof. Also: Why do people heckle sensitive jazz drummers? Is every Ukrainian black metal band actually staffed by archaeologists? And why does Paul Westerberg spend the start of a Replacements track sounding like he's hoovering up a pharmacy floor? It's music, it's chaos, and it's probably the only podcast that mentions both Agathee Christie and the "Pissed Resistance" in the same breath.   Riffs of the Week Dr. Sam's Riff Jerskin Fendrix – Jerskin Fendrix Freestyle Andrew's Riff The Callous Daoboys – Distracted by The Mona Lisa Dr. Sam's Track Choices Big Business – Cats, Mice Deerhoof – The Perfect Me Victims Family – The Germ Adam and the Ants – The Day I Met God Andrew's Track Choices Caroline Polachek – Dang Everything Everything – Cough Cough The Charlatans – I Can't Even Be Bothered 1914 – 1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl) Email us: beatmotel@lawsie.com

In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam attempt to justify their existence as middle-aged men with a music podcast by discussing the "sheer fucking arrogance" of music journalism. Between reenacting being a hydroelectric dam and discussing the logistics of dressing up like a facade of the Pentagon, they actually manage to talk about some records. Expect a deep dive into the dry drum sounds of early Faith No More, the naive charm of The Fall, and the surprising revelation that Hanoi Rocks basically invented Guns N' Roses. We also learn about the "poo sick" (don't ask) and why being 5'11" and 11/12ths is a legitimate personality trait. It's 70 minutes of your life you aren't getting back, but at least you'll know which bass pedals make you sound like a Moog.   ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Big Business - The Moor You Know #### Andrew's Riff - Baroness - The Birthing ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Faith No More - As The Worm Turns 2. The Lookouts - I Saw Her Standing There 3. The Damned - New Rose  4. Hanoi Rocks - Tooting Bec Wrecked ### Andrew's track choices 1. The Fall - Rebellious Jukebox 2. Television - Marquee Moon 3. The Kinks - Villiage Green Preservation Society 4. The Velvet Underground - Sister Ray Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com The Fall episode -  https://beatmotel.com/podcast-episodes/revisiting-the-fall-with-mark-beaumont-thomas/  

In this episode, Andrew and Dr Sam tackle the high-brow topic of Autumn, which mostly involves Sam moaning about how grey Finland is and Andrew recounting the time he kicked a pile of dog muck while trying to be whimsical. We also dive deep into the world of Roy Orbison, specifically his secret life as a competitive remote-control car enthusiast and how he basically wore the same pair of filthy glasses for 25 years. Andrew finally sees the Rocky Horror Picture Show and is traumatised by middle-aged men in stockings, Sam tries to find a version of 'Autumn Leaves' that doesn't taste like high-fructose corn syrup, and we discuss why the Beatles were basically ancient by the time they hit 30. There's also some talk about Jeff Lynne (obviously), stealing cheese from Blur, and why you should never go to an all-you-can-eat buffet if you value your self-respect.   ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Roy Orbison - (All I Can Do Is) Dream You #### Andrew's Riff - Rocky Horror Picture Show - Sweet Transvestite ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Nat King Cole - Autumn Leaves 2. Cannonball Adderley - Autumn Leaves  3. Roger Williams - Autumn Leaves 4. Edith Piaf - Les Feuilles Mortes ### Andrew's track choices 1. Guns n Roses - November Rain 2. Autumn Almanac - The Kinks 3. Crowded House - Fall at your feet 4. Forever Autumn - Justin Hayward and Jeff Wayne Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam attempt to discuss "Great Songs with Questionable Lyrics" but mostly end up talking about accidental calls to the emergency services and the thermal advantages of having an itchy jumper for a face. We dive into the grottier side of grindcore with Edinburgh's CHOU, wonder why Wolf Alice has a drummer singing in a thicket, and Dr. Sam tries to justify why he once owned a Limp Bizkit record. Also featuring: Slade being sued for sounding like a brickyard, Jimmy Page "borrowing" songs again, and why you should never store your Lego boxes in a greenhouse. It's less of a music podcast and more of a documented descent into madness. Riffs of the week Dr Sam's Riff CHOU - Vulnerable Blether Andrew's Riff Wolf Alice - White Horses Dr Sam's track choices Slade - Let's Call It Quits Limp Bizkit - Counterfeit Public Enemy - Sophisticated Bitch Cannibal Corpse - I Cum Blood Andrew's track choices Led Zeppelin - Babe I'm gonna leave you Steve Miller Band - The Joker Sonic Youth - Kool Thing Suede - Stay Together Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

In what can only be described as a new low for the Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into a theme so thin you can practically see through it: Water. What starts with Jackie Chan karate-chopping peanut packets somehow devolves into a harrowing discussion about men who refuse to wipe their backsides because it's "too gay," and the pungent aroma of a father's "beefy" morning ritual. Musically, we're forced to endure everything from Janet Jackson's "Moist" (a song that makes everyone's knees feel funny for the wrong reasons) to a Deep Purple video featuring a pilgrim on a Mad Max vehicle. We also touch on why Jimmy Carr is the Nigel Farage of comedy, the baffling rise of J-Pop sensation Ado, and why Weezer's Rivers Cuomo looks like he's constantly checking his watch for an exit strategy. It's damp, it's irreverent, and it's probably best listened to while weeping into a Victoria sponge.   ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Ado - Kura Kura #### Andrew's Riff - Zatokrev, Bolzer, Schammasch - Red Storm ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. TLC - Waterfalls 2. Aerosmith - Cryin' 3. Janet Jackson - Moist  4. Joan Armatrading - Water with Wine ### Andrew's track choices 1. The Stone Roses - Waterfall 2. Nirvana  - Territorial Pissings 3. Deep Purple - Smoke on the water 4. Weezer - Africa Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com Here's that Deep Purple video: https://youtu.be/Q2FzZSBD5LE?si=7lmp39n-ZpcOQPnn

We've got Drew Ailes (aka David Lunch, aka Egg Norton) from Minneapolis punk outfit Citric Dummies. We spend a suspicious amount of time talking about the horrors of SEO and marketing because, apparently, being a punk doesn't pay for the artisanal bread anymore. Drew explains how his background in "mucking about with systems" on the internet led to a career in corporate consulting, and why having a drummer who is actually a musical genius is the only reason the band hasn't folded in on itself. Expect tangents on the "blokey-bloke" culture of Oasis, the mystery of what on earth Arby's is, and why John Peel is the patron saint of record nerds. We also touch on the lighthearted topic of the political chaos in Minneapolis and ICE agents eating at the very Mexican restaurants they're supposed to be patrolling. You know, the usual cheery stuff. Drew Citric Dummie's track choices 1. Red Dons - Hard Feelings 2. Pinchers - Tonight 3. Sado Nation - Mom and pop democracy 4. Chipmonks Sludgefest - Diamond Dolls 5. Harry Chapin - W.O.L.D Dr Sam's track choices 1. Citric Dummies - Being Male is Embarrassing 2. Citric Dummies - I Can't Relate 3. Citric Dummies - Look Out World (I'm Eatin' At Arby's) 4. Citric Dummies - Life is so Horrifying

We're back, and frankly, if you've stuck around this long, you only have yourself to blame. After our first-ever break, Andrew and Dr. Sam return to discuss why cats don't actually like dope beats, despite what Aaliyah told us in 2000, and why fireworks and techno are a bad mix for pets. In this episode, we dive into the legendary Eric B. & Rakim, Japanese garage rock icons Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, and the "emotional grindcore" of Swarrrm. There's also a deeply unnecessary deep dive into The Queers' lyrical nuances from 1999 and a story about a band that split up because the singer decided to use the drummer as a urinal. We also explore why boredom is actually quite fast, the joy of "institutional Finnish pasta", and why Beat Motel is effectively just a sticking plaster on the gaping wound of your personal issues. Riffs of the Week Dr Sam's Riff Thee Michelle Gun Elephant - "The Birdmen" Andrew's Riff Blood Incantation - "The Stargate [Tablet 3]" Dr Sam's Track Choices 88 Fingers Louie - "Newspaper" Swarrrm - "13" The Queers - "No Tit" HIRS - "Public Service Announcement" Andrew's Track Choices System of a Down - "Chic 'N' Stu" Buzzcocks - "Boredom" Sub Focus and Grimes - "Entwined" The Bluetones - "Fast Boy" Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com Gabba dancing: https://youtu.be/FUD-HExh9ow?si=Kaq8OykylcVEUosL

If you've ever wondered why some bassists look like they're having a conversation with a ghost or why your favorite punk record sounds like it was recorded in a cupboard, Mike Watt is here to explain it all. We sat down with the Minutemen and Stooges legend to talk about everything from the physics of why playing too many notes makes you "smaller" to the absolute bigotry drummers face in the industry. Watt walks us through his "third opera," why he wrote an entire album on a Telecaster instead of a bass just to spite himself, and how he ended up playing with the Stooges for 125 months. We also get into the weeds on the early Hollywood punk scene, the "autonomy" of major labels (or lack thereof), and why the internet is basically just a tool for collaborating with people in Peru. It's rambling, it's philosophical, and it's probably the most intellectual we've ever been on this show. Don't get used to it.

Welcome to a truly unhinged episode, where Andrew's cold-ridden brain meets Sam's particular brand of chaos. This week, we're diving into Musicians in Odd Places—which, let's be honest, is mostly an excuse for us to get wildly off-topic and fact-check things on the fly (and usually get them wrong). Andrew even managed to misspell the theme title on his notes. We kick off by debating the horrors of modern parenting and screen time, reminiscing about the simple joy of having the TV just... turn off. From there, it's a short, unsettling skip to a discussion about Conkers, which, inevitably, turns into a mention of "Bollock Conkers". You're welcome. The main theme gets a slightly more musical start with Sam's Riff of the Week—a deep, pumping slice of dub that Andrew associates with summer. This somehow leads Andrew to mix up Jeff Lynne and Jeff Wayne (an ongoing national embarrassment). ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Jacob Miller - Keep on Knocking #### Andrew's Riff - Buggery Act - Rusted Pliers ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Mike Patton - Teenage Mutant Nina Turtles Theme 2. Johnny Cash - Don't Take Your Ones to Town 3. D.O.A. - That's Why I Am An Atheist 4. Tiny Tim - Living in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight ### Andrew's track choices 1. The Wombles - Remember You're A Womble 2. War of the worlds - The Spirit of Man 3. Labi Siffre - I Got The... 4. Public Image Ltd - Rise On the Menu of Oddness: * Mike Patton's Paycheck: Faith No More's Mike Patton pops up where he has no business being: singing the theme for a video game version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He said he did it so his nieces could enjoy something he was involved in. * Wombles Rock: Andrew's choice of session musicians in unusual places is Chris Spedding lending his guitar skills to The Wombles. * Johnny Cash vs. His Ones: Sam digs up the horrifyingly earnest Sesame Street parody of "Don't Take Your Guns to Town," where Johnny Cash sings about the little cowboy Billy Joe trying to take his number ones (as in toys and cookies) to school instead of sharing. * The Jeff Wayne Fiasco: Andrew confesses a lifelong belief that Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds was an ELO side project, before Sam sets the record straight that the producer/composer is actually a TV theme tune guy. Also, a surprisingly passionate and improvised vocal performance from Phil Lynott is on the album. * Joey Shithead for Council: The legendary frontman of hardcore band DOA is now a local politician, serving as a city council councillor in Burnaby, British Columbia. * Chas and Dave: Funk Brothers: The unlikely Cockney duo were session musicians (the 'fuckbrothers', apparently) for Labi Siffre's fantastic tune "I Got The...". * The Tiny Tim / SpongeBob Connection: The ukulele-wielding oddball is apparently part of a kid's playlist because his song "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" was on an early SpongeBob episode. This leads to the discovery of his truly offensive Christmas single, "Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS This Year". * PIL's All-Star Band: A surprising lineup for Public Image Ltd's "Rise" featured Tony Williams (Miles Davis's drummer) and Steve Vai (guitar) on the album version. A lot of questionable facts and even more questionable chat. Get stuck in, you awful people.

Congratulations, we've actually made it to episode 150—time to lower the bar even further. Andrew and Dr Sam reluctantly delve into the world of sport, finding the few tracks they can tolerate that actually cover the theme. Before they get there, they waste a solid half hour arguing about: * The proper spelling of Lemmy from Motorhead's surname. * A bizarre 1994 scuffle involving Neil Diamond and Lemmy in a Billeriki Toys R Us. * The viability of starting a new podcast called "Liberal Filth". * A tangent on Viking history, property rights, and why Vikings had itchy bums. * Defining "Aerosmith Money"—the huge financial windfall from unexpected licensing (like Guitar Hero), which is apparently a "well-known phrase". The Music Choices (Finally): Riffs of the week: Dr Sam's Riff: Reagan Youth - Jesus Was a Communist Andrew's Riff: Smote - The opinion of the lamb Pt.1 Dr Sam's Track Choices: 1. Richard Dawson - Jogging 2. Hanson Brothers - Stick Boy 3. Dead Kennedys - Jock-O-Rama (Invasion of the Beef Patrol) 4. Fleshies - Runner's Legs Andrew's Track Choices: 1. Kraftwerk - Tour de France 2. Chemical Brothers - Theme for Velodrome 3. Fu Manchu - King of the road 4. Pansy Division - He Whipped My Ass In Tennis (Then I Fucked His Ass In Bed) If you've made it this far, you deserve a chocolate bar. We're heading off to the loo. Enjoy the filth. Email us with your hate mail, facts, or spelling corrections: beatmotel@lawsie.com

Who says taste can't evolve? This week, Andrew and Dr Sam go on a full-blown U-turn, confessing their love for bands they once treated with the kind of disdain normally reserved for traffic wardens and warm lager. Expect shocking revelations: Bonnie Tyler's absurdly overproduced 80s epic is now basically gospel. Cradle of Filth? Once unlistenable black metal, now "charmingly chaotic". The Beastie Boys go from party-clown pariahs to filth-toned bass gods. Deep Purple gets a love letter. And Split Enz? The band nobody asked for suddenly gets a sparkly redemption arc. Also: Finnish shopping centre linguistics How a Mercedes almost caused an international incident Traffic wardens, German police, and the time an entire road of cars vanished Folk music's stealthy mission to win your heart through Pete Seeger-related Stockholm syndrome Basically, it's the usual chaos with a theme loosely stuck on like a peeling gig poster on a damp venue wall. Stick around for ludicrous Hard-Ons album titles and an exploration of music that makes your genitals not catch fire (unlike Bonnie Tyler's). Riffs of the week Dr Sam's Riff: Gorilla Toss – Panglossian Mannequin Andrew's Riff: The Stone Roses – One Love Dr Sam's track choices: Bonnie Tyler – Holding Out for a Hero Cradle of Filth – Desire in Violent Overture (Remixed) Japan – The Art of Parties Hamish Imlach – Johnny O'Breadislee Andrew's track choices: Split Enz – I See Red Hard-Ons – Carrot Top Deep Purple – Speed King Beastie Boys – Gratitude 💌 Email us your confessions of musical flip-floppery: beatmotel@lawsie.com  

In this week's episode of Beat Motel, Andrew and Dr Sam dig deep into the muddy puddle of nostalgia. We've got: Lycra-based band trauma John Barnes rapping about... something An important public health warning about Coco Pops Dead Kennedys covered in Parisian jazz cafés A little gig promotion wrapped in existential dread The legacy of punk, rewritten by whoever was shouting loudest in 1978 We also explore vital global topics like whether "buggery" is too rude for a poster in Costa, how to polish your ring the Rimmer way, and why listening to football songs from the 90s might be causing irreversible brain damage. Oh, and there's music chat too. Sort of. Riffs of the week Dr Sam's Riff The Black Dahlia Murder – A Shrine to Madness Andrew's Riff These Are End Times – The Pit Dr Sam's track choices A Tribe Called Quest – Excursions Cock Sparrer – Where Are They Now Nouvelle Vague – Too Drunk to Fuck Thee Sinseers – Can't Do That To Her Andrew's track choices Adam and Joe – Football Song New Order – World in Motion Paul Simon – Duncan (Live 1973) Los Lobos – La Bamba

Ever bought an album just because you should love it... only to file it under "respect, but no thanks"? This week, Andrew Culture and Dr. Sam go full chin-strokey and dive deep into the bands, albums, and entire genres that make them go, "I get it. I just don't want it." We're talking Flux of Pink Indians' sonic assaults, John Zorn's sex-jazz chaos, Minutemen's minute-long jazz-punk spasms, and yes, that unholy racket from Merzbow. Along the way we also chat about Damon Albarn's trouser-based stage antics, Janis Joplin's wardrobe malfunctions, and what happens when Rick Wakeman tries to write a stadium-rock opera about Henry VIII's wives. Seriously. It's an episode filled with love for the bold, the bizarre, and the borderline unlistenable. So grab your brandy, light your pipe, and stroke your chin in a disapproving-yet-respectful fashion. What you'll learn this episode: Why Andrew would rather chew tinfoil than listen to Merzbow again What makes Dr. Sam say "this is basically an angry Jackson Pollock painting" Who wins the battle of "I admire them, but no thanks" — Apex Twin or The Minutemen? Why Flux of Pink Indians were literally banned by the police (hint: it wasn't for being catchy) The sexy noises of John Zorn and why jazz speedrunning should be a sport Plus! Music recommendations, tangents about driving in America, dodgy cod reggae, and why you should never trust someone who plays saxophone and wears a beret.   🎸 Riffs of the Week 👉 Dr. Sam's Riff: Danny Brown – Copycat 👉 Andrew's Riff: Die Spitz – Throw Yourself to the Sword 🎵 Dr. Sam's Track Choices: 1. Flux of Pink Indians – The Fucking Cunts Treat Us Like Pricks 2. John Zorn – Erotico (The Burglars) 3. Taraf de Haidouks – The Return of The Magic Horses 4. Merzbow – Woodpecker No. 2 🎵 Andrew's Track Choices: 1. Aphex Twin – Windowlicker 2. Rush – Spirit of Radio 3. Minutemen – This Ain't No Picnic 4. Primus – Tommy the Cat 📧 Email us: beatmotel@lawsie.com

In this episode, we dive into the slightly baffling and often hilarious world of musicians turning up in films that have absolutely nothing to do with their own music. Some do it well. Some… should've just stayed on stage. From Joe Strummer's pigeon-themed songwriting to Damon Albarn's dodgy gangster role, we shine a flashlight on cinema's most unexpected rock star cameos. Expect righteous rambling, questionable facts, and a whole lot of chaos as Andrew and Dr. Sam chew over: Flea appearing in Back to the Future II as a race-happy chancer Joe Strummer pretending a traffic cone is a megaphone David Bowie's aggressively tight trousers in Labyrinth Placebo showing up in Velvet Goldmine dressed like sexy peacocks Tom Waits being better at acting than most actual actors Tim Armstrong from Rancid randomly playing a tramp in The X-Files And that time a song was written just to impress a member of Bananarama Also in this episode: We slag off Spotify for kicking us off their platform, complain about camping at festivals (again), and attempt to remember what the word "railway" sounds like without sounding like we've joined the Bullingdon Club. This one's for the cinephile who loves music, or the punk who accidentally sat through Straight to Hell thinking it was a Clash documentary. Subscribe, tune in, and remember: just because you're in a band doesn't mean you should be in a film.     Riffs of the Week Dr Sam's Riff Alpha Male Tea Party – Probably Just Hungry Andrew's Riff Ditz – Don Enzo Magic Carpet Salesman Dr Sam's Track Choices Joe Strummer – Evil Darling Alan Silvestri – 4 x 4 Tom Waits – Kommienezuspadt Rancid – Rats in the Hallway Andrew's Track Choices Spandau Ballet – True Placebo – 20th Century Boy Blur – Sing David Bowie – Magic Dance Email us – beatmotel@lawsie.com

What do stoner-era ZZ Top, a mountain named Billy with a tree girlfriend, and a kid who astral projects into Rasputin's beard all have in common? Concept albums, mate. And not just any old proggy b*llocks – this week we're diving into the oddest concept albums we could find (and a few we just wanted to waffle on about anyway). Andrew is joined by first-time Beat Motel guest host James Kindred – a fellow Ipswich musician, longtime mate, and possibly the only person who can explain a Mastodon plotline without crying blood. Together, they take you on a journey through the weird, the wonderful, and the "what the hell were they thinking?" of the concept album world. Expect the following nonsense: ZZ Top as proto-stoner gods (with bonus slipper sales) Agriculture's queer-core black metal positivity Mastodon's astral plane + Rasputin collab (yep) Frank Zappa's 40-minute tale about a mountain fighting the US government The madness of Mansun's Six – A.A. Milne gone rock Mark Lanegan scaring the life out of everyone (including Josh Homme) Brian Eno inventing ambient music while still in nappies NoFX writing an 18-minute punk symphony just to piss everyone off Throw in some jazz-metal tangents, disdain for ska-punk, and why John Hopkins makes Andrew need a wee, and you've got a classic Beat Motel episode. Warning: contains opinions. Also, possibly bears.     ### Riffs of the week   #### Kindred's Riff - Precious & Grace - ZZ Top (opening) #### Andrew's Riff - Agriculture - Bodhidharma   ### Kindred's track choices 1. Mastodon – Crack the Skye (cosmic metal odyssey) - Song - The Czar (1. Usurper, 2. Escape, 3. Martyr, 4. Spiral) 2. QOTSA – Songs for the Deaf (desert-drive fever dream) - Song - Songs for the Dead 3. Pink Floyd – The Wall (psychological rock opera) - Song - Comfortably Numb 4. Brian Eno – Music for Airports (ambient architecture for calm) Song - 1/1   ### Andrew's track choices 1. Frank Zappa and the mothers of invention - Billy was a mountain 2. Mansun - Legacy 3. NoFx - The Decline 4. John Hopkins - Tayos Caves, Ecuador i   Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

If you've ever flipped a vinyl and thought, "well that was a limp finish," then this episode is your new religion. Andrew and Dr. Sam dive into the fine art of ending Side A—the lost craft of crafting a sonic cliffhanger that makes you want to flip that record like your nan flips a Digestive into her cuppa. We've got: The Clash's perfectly measured chaos An R.E.M. song even the R.E.M. boys can't remember Richard Dawson punching you in the feelings A mystery smackhead guitar hero who wandered into a Funkadelic session and laid down one of the greatest solos of all time And very strong feelings about Brett Anderson's 12" misadventure with Suede's "Stay Together" (hint: the band hate it, and Andrew can't stop hearing horn sections) Throw in some serious digressions about class consciousness, cat whiskers, baked beans in mouths, and Gregg's colonisation of the high street, and you've got yourself a full-fat Beat Motel stew. Dave Rowntree of Blur sues PRS over 'black box' royalties All creatures will evolve into crabs Cats' whiskers = biological gap gauges Stripper Vicars: helping painters and decorators since 1995 Midori – "Yukiko-san" Gorillaz ft. Sparks – "The Happy Dictator" Grab a pint, slap on your headphones, and ask yourself – how does YOUR favourite album end Side A? Stuff that might be true (but we didn't check):     ### Riffs of the week   #### Dr Sam's Riff - Midori - Yukikosan (0:19) #### Andrew's Riff - Gorillaz Ft. Sparks - The Happy Dictator   ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. The Clash - Straight to Hell (4.30) 2. Funkadelic - Get Off Your Ass and Jam (1.33) 3. Armstrong & Ellington - Do Nothing 'Til You Hear From Me (opening) 4. Richard Dawson - Two Halves (0.29)   ### Andrew's track choices 1. The Stone Roses - Bye Bye Badman 2. Mansun - Stripper Vicar 3. REM - Can't get there from here 4. Suede - Stay Together   Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

Ever watched a music doc and thought, "Cor, this band's story is brilliant!" only to press play on their actual music and feel your soul quietly retreat into your ankles? This week, Andrew and co-host Dr. Sam put the needle on the record and realise some bands should've stayed in the cutting room. We take a scenic drive through the trainwreck glory of Milli Vanilli, the baffling existential crisis that is Metallica's St. Anger, and the CIA's alleged soft-rock psy-op via The Scorpions. Plus, there's a detour through the fever-dream nonsense of Brian Pern, Joan Jett's bad reputation, and the ongoing mystery of why The Sex Pistols are still interesting despite sounding like a wasp in a tin mug. Expect spiky opinions, tight trousers, and the occasional descent into lyrical despair. And yes, there's hummus chat. Of course there is. What's inside: Bands who are great… as a subject, not as a sound Can AI replace all pop music? (And should it?) Was Wind of Change written by the bloody CIA? Stretchy testicles and Mob Dad: Your new Cartoon Network faves Come for the music chat. Stay for the jalapeño hummus.     ### Riffs of the week   #### Dr Sam's Riff - Barbara Dane - I Hate the Capitalist System (opening) #### Andrew's Riff - I'll pay you more if you let me watch - Crippling Alcoholism (3:40)   ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Milli Vanilli - Take it as it comes (opening) 2. Scorpions - Loving You Sunday Morning (2.43) 3. Metallica - "Shoot Me Again" (0.35) 4. Joan Jett - "Bad Reputation" (0.30)   ### Andrew's track choices 1. Bros - When will I be famous (2:09) 2. Brian Pern 3. Sex Pistols - Silly Thing (0:36) 4. The Lurkers - Ain't got a clue   Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com   We dig music podcast - https://pod.link/wedigmusic   This is the episode with Crippling Alcoholism on it -   We Dig Music - Series 8 Episode 9 - Now Playing Sept 2025 - Magdalena Bay, Crippling Alcoholism, & Ethel Cain   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-dig-music-series-8-episode-9-now-playing-sept-2025/id1246759934?i=1000728773079   https://open.spotify.com/episode/0wBWpR24jRvxRKw7YL1Z8b?si=LbwRnR38RnOhOaC-09MSpg

This week on Beat Motel, Andrew relives his childhood by rolling down Ed Sheeran's hill into a pile of dog muck, and Dr. Sam reveals he's spent more time chasing cheese than dignity. Somewhere along the way, they accidentally remember this is supposed to be a music podcast. The theme? Cats. That's it. Not subtle. Not deep. Just cats. From SpongeBob's snail-pet Gary to the purring sleaze of Queen's "Cool Cat," we dig into feline-inspired tunes like they're buried in a litter tray. Expect: A semi-academic breakdown of The Cure's "Lovecats" A loving rant about Citric Dummies reviving Dr. Sam's faith in punk The Stray Cats (who aren't British, but fooled us all) Psychobilly hair, ska that doesn't suck, and why Jules Holland might secretly be a dog person A jazz track from 1931 that the BBC had to rename because it was "too rude" (spoiler: it wasn't about a cat, but we're pretending it was) Andrew's website gets cyber-attacked mid-show (presumably by a Japanese feline overlord), and we waste far too much time translating song titles through every Nordic and Baltic language available. We also discover the only way to pick a cat from a rehoming café is to let it slap you in the face. It's a mess. It's musical. It's got Matt Berry rubbing a snail on his face. It's Beat Motel at its most confusingly brilliant. ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Citric Dummies - I Am Your Napkin #### Andrew's Riff - vildhjarta - + byta ut alla stjärnor på himlen mot plustecken + ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Spongebob - Gary's Song 2. Stray Cats - Stray Cat Strut 3. Queen - Cool Cat 4. Presidents of the United States of America - Kitty ### Andrew's track choices 1. The Cure - Love cats 2. Squeeze - Cool for cats 3. The Slackers - El Gato 4. Harry Roy & His Bat Club Boys - My girl's pussy Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com

If you've ever wondered what a Finnish man in a bedroom with a broken keyboard sounds like, then you're weird. But also in the right place. This week, Dr. Sam joins Andrew for a dive headfirst into the murky swamp of obscure music genres, where rules don't matter and the cats are in charge. Expect tangents galore: from liturgical black metal to folk electronica via squee (yes, it's a thing), this episode is a chaotic tour of sounds you probably never asked for. There's also rants about Winamp, philosophical crises over Adam Buxton's new album, and an alarming amount of discussion about bodily functions—human and feline. Other highlights: Discover why Primus are their own genre. Chatpile vs. Nick Cave (don't @ us). The truth about the Super Mario cartoon theme. What happens when cats demand mid-podcast poo patrol. Childhood trauma via 70s UK sitcoms and cartoons. So, whether you're sickening for a new genre or just want to hear two middle-aged blokes descend into sonic madness, this episode will either enlighten or deeply confuse you. Either way, you'll come out the other end feeling like you've learned something. Probably. ### Riffs of the week #### Dr Sam's Riff - Adam Buxton - Doing it Wrong (0.18) #### Andrew's Riff - Chatpile - Shame (2:24) ### Dr Sam's track choices 1. Primus - Restin' Bones (2.13) 2. Ana Lua Caiano - Ando Em Círculos (opening) 3. Thomas Ignatius - Sum qui sum (1.00) 4. Super Mario Rap (0.2) ### Andrew's track choices 1. Suicide - Ghost Rider (1:24) - No Wave 2. Eero Johannes - We Could Be Skweeeroes - Skweee 3. Batushka - Yekteniya I - Liturgical Black Metal 4. Phace - Hot Rock - Neurofunk Email us - beatmotel@lawsie.com