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© 2026 Forty Thousand Hurts
Description
A podcast for people who don't know much about Warhammer by us - three people who don't know much about Warhammer.
El, Rosa & Holly are here to lead you by the hand as we stumble face first into the vast world of Warhammer 40,000.
16 Episodes
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This week it's a waffley one! We talk about how we've learned, grown, changed since starting the pod. We talk about how we feel about things now, Lumi talks about the T'au and cannot be stopped, we bitch about Games Workshop, we decide to start three other podcasts. And so on. But most importantly we have a lot of fun, at a time where various podmates have been feeling the strain somewhat. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts
This week we take a detour away from 40K, to talk about El's most recent fascination, Trench Crusade! The initial idea was to compare 40K and TC a lot more, but, uh, it's mostly just El talking about her various opinions. Sorry. Along the way, we lose Lumi to a warp portal, discuss why tit armour is very stupid, and look at several of the ways that Trench Crusade's online resources are hilariously better than 40K's. Seriously, just google for yourself and you'll see. Episode artwork by M...
![Episode 14: A Legionary Primer (FUN edition) [Featuring: Dan]](https://storage.buzzsprout.com/s2a32vcygq2gxri906a2qzgo8crl?.jpg "Episode 14: A Legionary Primer (FUN edition) [Featuring: Dan]")
Settling into an already distressing 2026 we're rounding out our little trio of episodes on Space Marines by skimming along each Traitor legion. Much like episode 11, we give you a taste of the various legions - who they are, how they came to be, and what their general issue is. By the magic of editing we're joined by friend of the show Dan to hear about why the Iron Hands are relatable to the over 40s. ALSO Lumi does a scream that was SO LOUD I had to muffle it down to about 20% of the origi...
Happy new year everyone, I'm sure it will be better than last year and that several geopolitically insane things haven't already happened. BUT DID YOU KNOW that in the dying days of 2025, Holly had her first game? Well she did, and you better bet that we're gonna talk about it. This episode, El and Holly chatter about the value of cool moments, why being overconfident is an excellent way to invite comeuppance, and how satisfying it is to destroy a Warlord by running him over with a tank (spoi...
Ho ho ho! It's a time of wonder and joy and we'd all like a break please. So we're having a fun one. We go round the table and bounce around the various magical wishes we have, hoping for a christmas miracle to make them turn up in the game please. We also debate if the Emperor controls the weather, Lumi argues that the Skaven should be part of the the T'au empire, and most importantly Holly wishes for more tanks. Have a lovely holiday. For Holly's guest appearance on the lesbian book po...
This week we're back and continuing the journey of talking Space Marines, this time with specifics! El, Lumi and Holly take turns teaching each other (and possibly you) about each of the loyalist legions, touching on colour schemes, combat style, leader, and just general vibe. That's right, we actually do some educatin' in this one! And it's not nearly as dry or boring as the rules explanation episodes! We're improving!! Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts
Yes, it's time. We're talking about the big blue boys, the original fridges, the chunky poster child of 40K: Space Marines. Serving as a gentle primer on who and what exactly Space Marines actually are, we talk about who, what, why, and how much attention they get. Holly also makes sure to tell us which legions are which Spice Girl, and Lumi only brings up the Tau three times. If you don't know who the Space Marines are, or why you should care I guess, then this is the place to start! Le...
We're a member down this week as Holly is seeking guidance from The Emperor. But fear not, we have guest on the pod, and it's only bloody Riley Quinn (Trashfuture, No Gods No Mayors). Arriving at high velocity from his drop pod of "I am so busy please free me" (a real quote, probably) to reminisce all about his history with Warhammer, why it's definitely not a special interest, and the ways it which is still has hold of him now. Along the way we cover why 12 year olds should be able to annoy ...
This week Lumi's taking over and is here to convert you to the T'au'va. That's right, it's faction focus time and Lumi is taking us on a combined book report/Tau lore journey. With no Holly this episode, and El suffering from a demonic illness of some kind, it truly is Lumi's show. She talks us through Tau history, culture, style, appeal and a whole bunch more. More concerningly, she does such a good job that evil-forever El keeps getting more and more interested. Distressing stuff. There's s...
This week we are back (albeit late), and El & Lumi have some exciting things to report. Fresh off the back of a recent game (thats right, we actually played!) we return to talk about the many, many, many ways in which we made mistakes. From dummy deployments to not understanding the actual dice, El & Lumi give an after-battle report to our attentive scribe and surrogate audience Holly. It turns out this game is kind of fun. And it doubly turns out that doing that in Crusade (where you...
This week Holly takes the wheel as she tells us (and you) all about her faction, the Adepta Sororitas, the nuns with guns. She tells us who they are, what their vibe is, and most importantly why Holly chose them as her army! Because she's a treasure, Holly has even created a handy little system of critera to evaluate her faction through (which we will definately be stealing for future episodes). We look into our favourite zealots through the lenses of lore, look, cost, gameplay, and space. Du...
This week we are back baybeee! No more dry stuffy rules to wade through, we've got a palette full of energy and more discussion than you can shake a paintbrush at. Which is to say El, Rosa & Holly are back to share our feelings on starting to paint. The joys, the roadblocks, and some of the most important things to keep in mind when you start (in our expert opinions). We talk about basing, acrylic paint, what airbrushes are (and why you don't super need one unless you're Rosa), and all so...
In this episode we finish off our intro to rules, as El desperately tries to hammer through A LOT OF RULES while Rosa and Holly continue to be excellently patient students. We cover setting up your table, missions, terrain, deployment AND ALSO cover each of the five phases of a player turn, explaining all the way. (El here: this was entirely too much talking from me, I’m looking forward to taking off my teacher’s tie next time). But of course we deviate as well, so Holly talks football, Rosa ...
Today El dons the role of teacher, and starts to lead us through the basics of how 10th Edition 40K works, up to and including what an 'edition' is. Our episode-cum-classroom is set up as an easygoing space, as repeatedly demonstrated by Rosa and Holly's tangents (and El's as well). We talk editions, pre-game things to choose, and the core dice trio that allows so many of the 40k factions and units feel distinct. (Also it helps understand the game a lot too). Holly also discloses her hatred o...
With a whole episode under the belt, El, Rosa & Holly take our second outing and paddle around in the shallow(ish) end of the Big Behemoth that is 40K lore. Of which there is so much. There is just SO MUCH. We talk about the imperium (a bit), what the warp is and why it is bad, how Orks are fun. Also El does a dramatic reading of the 40K quote. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts
El, Rosa & Holly take our first steps into podcasting and talking 40K. In this pilot episode, we skim loose frameworks of the hobby - from playing wargames to niche internet arguments. Staying strictly on target, our conversation also includes mention of Graham's Number, mech suits, and the inevitable Estonian empire. Let us know! All our stuff: https://linktr.ee/fortythousandhurts
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