The Surviving Siblings®

This is for all my forgotten mourners, for all my Surviving Siblings. In this podcast, I am going to tell you my story, the story of my brother, what happened and I will tell you how I went on my mourning and healing journey.

As a surviving sibling, there are defining moments in your journey. The first defining moment is the call, that call that changes your life forever, the call when we discovered what has happened, the call to provide information that you'd never want to receive. This week I'm sharing the first part of my journey, how that call changed my life and the first series of events that happened after that first call. In this episode, I'm covering: The first event [00:01:42] Getting to the hospital [00:09:00] Seeing my brother for the first time after the call [00:27:00]  Meeting my brother's girlfriend [00:35:00] Maya provides updates to the family [00:45:00] First encounter with a detective[00:57:00] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

The journey of a surviving sibling is full of ups and downs. Usually, people come to us to ask about how parents are, people forget that we have also suffered a loss, we are usually the forgotten mourners. This week I'm sharing the first pieces of information that the detectives were able to gather and share with us, as well as how it was seeing my sisters, my mother, and my father while they arrived at the hospital. In this episode I'm covering: Meeting the first detective [00:01:04] Organizing everything for the family arrivals [00:07:30] My sisters arrive [00:08:30] Another detective delivers more information [00:10:30] My mother arrives [00:16:00] Confronting my sister [00:18:07]  For full episode show notes and transcript, click here   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

Everything is so clear but yet blurry at the same time. When it's time to say our last goodbyes, we often find ourselves in disbelief. Disbelief that this is actually happening, disbelief that this is the last time that we will ever see our sibling again. This week I'm sharing how things were after my father arrived from Africa, more pieces of information we got from the detectives as well as my last goodbye to my brother. In this episode I'm covering: Supporting me and remembering my brother [00:02:20] Getting my brother ready [00:08:00] The first time reality hit me [00:15:00] Meeting with another detective and getting more details on what really happened [00:19:07] Saying our last goodbye [00:27:49] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

Death can be something that can unite or separate families. It's not natural for parents to lose their children, but what happens to the other siblings that are still on this Earth? Surviving the death of a sibling is not easy, every step of the journey is painful. On top of that pain, the siblings have to deal with so many other situations. Reality begins to hit and everything starts to feel real. You feel lonely, even if you're surrounded by a sea of people.  In this week's episode, I am sharing about when reality hit me, being abandoned by my family, and my mother's relationship with her boyfriend. In this episode I'm covering: Returning from the hospital [00:01:04] Efforts of trying to lift everyone's spirit [00:04:15] My mother and her boyfriend  [00:06:30] Walking to my father's hotel [00:09:45] Sleeping for the first time in days [00:15:00] The story of how I got my dog, Scarlett [00:15:15] Waking up to a party in my living room [00:19:15] The chaotic Thanksgiving dinner [00:29:15] Feeling abandoned by my family [00:32:00] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

Abandoned and alone, I had to wait for my family to call me back. When you're grieving, you really need a support system, someone that's going to be there for you and help you through the trauma. My family was not that for me. In this week's episode, I am sharing about how I was coping with not only grief but also abandonment, what happened before my brother's celebration of life, and disappointing moments with my mother. In this episode I'm covering: Abandoned and alone [00:01:00]  Memories of my brother [00:09:30] The parents come back [00:19:15] My friend Caleb [00:22:45] Running errands with my mother [00:26:30] Arriving at the hotel [00:37:25] Picking the urn for the ashes [00:47:30] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here

The purpose of a Celebration of Life is to remember a loved one, to tell their story and to come together to celebrate their unique personality. My mother decided to celebrate my brother by scattering his ashes in a creek close to where we grew up.  In this week's episode, I am sharing about the moments I shared with my mother before the Celebration of life, my thoughts and feelings during the event and what happened after, at my brother's girlfriend's home. In this episode I'm covering: Conversations with my mother [00:02:15] The Celebration of Life [00:15:15] Eulogy for My Brother [00:27:00] Words from the rest of the family [00:38:15] Scattering my brother's ashes [00:43:00] My brother's girlfriend house [00:45:45] The advice from the girlfriend's father [00:51:25] Hearing my brother's voice [00:56:15] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here

The pain of loss is overwhelming, it's something that we learn to cope with as we are going through this journey of losing a loved one. Big feelings always come to the surface, which makes coping with the loss even more challenging. In this episode I'm covering: What happened after walking away [00:01:02] Words of Wisdom from my father [00:08:45] Sharing moments with Caleb and Phillip [00:16:45] Heading home [00:22:30] My friend Walter and going back to work [00:26:30] Handing my notice [00:33:00] Finding Bonnie Blue [00:38:00] My different ways of coping [00:50:30] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here

After coping through different mechanisms after the homicide of my brother, I am left thinking "what now?". What happens now that all the chaos and the spiraling stops? What happens when everything has "calmed down?" In this episode, I'm talking about what happened with my boyfriend at the time during the holidays, how I was dealing with my anxiety and taking medication, the reunion of the reality show I was in, and feeling something for the first time as I was traveling in Mexico. In this episode I'm covering: Coping and wondering what happens next [00:01:03] Dealing with my anxiety and changes in the medication [00:06:00] My boyfriend, Holiday celebrations and the laundry list of events going on in my life [00:08:45] The Reality Show Reunion [00:23:15] Getting a new job and traveling to Mexico[00:44:30] Feeling for the first time [00:49:26] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Mentioned in the episode YouTube | Andreas Roffler   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

We all process grief in different ways, we all do different things to feel "at peace" when losing a loved one. As a surviving sibling, I wanted to do everything in my power to bring justice to my brother's death. I had been there from the very beginning and it seemed like I was the only one that cared about it.  In this episode I'm talking about how miscommunication with my father led to me being frustrated with him, how I started to move on with my life and my career, the start of my entrepreneurship journey, the birth of MaYapinion, feeling frustrated for the lack of progress the detective had made on my brother's case, hiring a Private Investigator and letting him go and how I found a lead before the PI did. In this episode I'm covering: Miscommunication with my father [00:01:03] Moving on with my life and career [00:11:30] Start of entrepreneurship and the birth of MaYapinion [00:13:15] Trying to reach out the detective [00:16:20] Going back to a dark place and coming back out again [00:18:00] Hiring a Private Investigator [00:28:40] Going on a quest to gather all the information that the PI needed [00:32:00] Firing the PI [00:45:00] Cryptic messages and a shocking finding [00:45:30] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Andreas' Music YouTube | Andreas Roffler   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

During your grief journey your feelings and emotions ebb and flow. I dont believe there's such thing as "highs" in the grief journey, more like lows and hope. Going into year 2 of losing my brother, I was losing hope because I felt that I had failed him in so many aspects. However, I have to remind myself that I haven't, that this is part of the journey and that Andreas is always with me. In this episode I'm talking about the updates (or lack thereof) on my brother's case from the "Dirty Detective", how I was trying lo live a "normal life" when there's no such thing as normal anymore, spending a different Thanksgiving, seeing my family again at my sister's graduation, how I felt abandoned and alone, my now husband, and more. In this episode I'm covering: Updates from the "Dirty Detective"  [00:01:03] Trying to live a "normal" life [00:06:04] My youngest sister contacts me [00:07:20] A different Thanksgiving [00:16:00] My sister's graduation [00:20:20] Feeling abandoned and alone, again [00:31:00] Fighting the good fight [00:40:24] Honoring my brother [00:42:45] Getting married [00:51:22] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Andreas' Music YouTube | Andreas Roffler   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings 

When you're going through your grief journey, you're always looking for "closure", that something that is going to make it ok, that something that's going to finally let you breathe and "get over" your loss. But as I have learned, there's no such thing as closure, really the main goal is to get answers for everything that's unresolved.  In this episode I'm talking about how I felt like I was regressing in my grief journey as the pandemic hit, looking for closure or something to be able to "move on" from my brother's death, finally finding a detective that actually cared, getting much needed answers and more. In this episode I'm covering: Regressing in my grief journey [00:01:04] Seeking closure [00:12:49] Taking care of myself [00:18:21] Finding Detective G [00:21:40] Updates on my brother's case [00:28:42] A long conversation with Detective G [00:32:30] There's no such thing as closure [00:42:30] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Andreas' Music YouTube | Andreas Roffler   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

Going into year five of losing my brother to a homicide, thanks to Detective G I already had most of the answers I was looking for, but in the middle of a global pandemic, I felt like I was regressing in my grief journey. I went through a mixture of feelings, excited because of my entrepreneurial journey but sad at the same time.  In this episode, I'm talking about the evolution of my grief journey, how my brother came to me in dreams several times to deliver messages, my spiritual journey, why I decided to get a sunflower tattoo, and how I found out that we had a name: surviving siblings, why I felt compelled to seek out a  medium and how I found him. In this episode I'm covering: The evolution of the grief journey [00:01:02] Signs from my brother / My brother pays me a couple of visits [00:04:30] The sunflower tattoo [00:08:54] My spiritual journey [00:13:54] Seeking resources for Surviving Siblings [00:21:30] Compelled to seek out a medium [00:31:10] My grief journey continues [00:45:10] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Book recommendation Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread that Connects Us Through Life and Death by Dawn DiRaimondo Grief Guide by Maya Roffer Get The Grief Guide for Surviving Siblings here Andreas' Music YouTube | Andreas Roffler   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

After losing her brother in 2004, Dr. Dawn DiRaimondo became interested in bereavement work. It wasn't until later that she found out that there are almost no resources when it comes to sibling loss, so she decided to write a book Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread That Connects Us Through Life and Death. Dr. Dawn DiRaimondo Psy. D. was the inspiration behind this podcast.  In this week's episode, I am sitting down with Dr. Dawn DiRaimondo and sharing about Dawn's sibling loss history, how she dealt with losing her brother, the impact that it had on her family, how her book Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread That Connects Us Through Life and Death came to existence, how therapy can help you move forward in your grief journey and so much more. In this episode I'm covering: Intro [00:00:00] Dawn's Sibling Loss Story [00:02:38] The impact of losing Michael [00:04:14] Dawn's Grief Journey [00:08:49] How grief evolves[00:21:00] Resources and how therapy helps in the grief journey [00:33:50] The spiritual side of grief [00:41:10] Advice for Surviving Siblings [00:51:45] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here  Connect with Dr. Dawn DiRaimondo Instagram | @drdawndawn Website | Dr. Dawn DiRaimondo Book | Surviving Sibling Loss: The Invisible Thread That Connects Us Through Life and Death Facebook | Dawn DiRaimondo, Psy.D. Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

As a surviving sibling or anyone that has experienced loss in their life, birthdays, holidays and milestones are always difficult days. Mostly because it is a reminder that our siblings' physical form is no longer with us. What I do is have a glass of champagne by myself every year, that is for my brother and is one of the many ways I decided to honor him on his birthday, a birthday that we share. In this week's episode, I am sharing about how I have dealt with celebrations and holidays in the past six years, my first ever memory during my third birthday - the day that Andreas was born, and how I decided to honor and commemorate my brother during his birthday and other holidays and so much more. In this episode I'm covering: Intro [00:00:00] How I've dealt with Celebrations and Holidays [00:02:00] My first vivid memory [00:08:30] What I focus on as I get older[00:15:00] How I commemorate my brother on our birthday [00:21:30] How I commemorate him during other holidays: Thanksgiving and Christmas [00:28:50] The most challenging year in the grief journey [00:35:50] My advice as a surviving sibling [00:39:10] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Thank you to our incredible sponsor - Sibs Forever Website | Sibsforever.org Instagram | @Sibs.Forever   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

Support groups can be very overwhelming, so even Jen surprised herself when she decided to join a sibling loss support group just a couple of days after losing her brother LB. It's been six years since that time and now she is co-president of the COPE Foundation.  Connecting Our Paths Eternally (COPE) is a nonprofit grief and healing organization dedicated to helping families living with the loss of a child. COPE offers professionally facilitated support groups, a grief support phone line, and monthly healing workshops, including yoga, meditation, Reiki. In this week's episode, I am sharing about how Jen found out about LB's passing, what led her to join a support group program for surviving siblings, her advice to fellow surviving siblings, Jen's grief journey and what she has done to move forward with her grief, as well as COPE Foundation and how it can help surviving siblings.  In this episode I'm covering: Intro [00:00:00] Jen and LB's story [00:02:11] What happened after losing LB [00:14:50]  How Jen found COPE and acknowledging her grief [00:19:01] Jen's first time at a COPE's support group [00:22:13] Advice for Surviving Siblings [00:26:52] Jen's grief journey [00:30:09] Moving forward in her grief journey [00:36:52] Everyone experiences grief in a different way [00:46:07] COPE Foundation [00:58:30] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here    WORKSHOP DETAILS Sign up for the FREE ONLINE WORKSHOP here October 11th, 7:00 - 8:30 PM E.T. ✨Mark your calendars!✨   Connect with Jen Schwartz Instagram | @cope.foundation Facebook | COPE (Connecting Our Paths Eternally) Website | COPEfoundation.org Email Jen |  Jen@copefoundation.org   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

When Audree Kropen unexpectedly lost her sister Robin at the age of 12, her whole life changed. Her family decided to stop talking about Robin completely and not acknowledge the fact that she had passed. Now 50+ years later, Audree feels ready to share her healing journey and how that single event has immensely impacted her life and who she is today.  In this week's episode, I am sharing Audree and Robin's story, how her family dynamics affected Audree's life, and how they decided to deal with her death, what Audree has done to heal as a Surviving Sibling. In this episode I'm covering: Intro [00:00:00] Audree and Robin's family story [00:01:32] Robin's story [00:13:08] How the family was dealing with Robin's death [00:19:56] Moving out [00:36:43] Starting to move forward [00:40:29] Audree's perspective on therapy for Surviving Siblings [00:44:22] Becoming a mother and honoring Robin [00:47:28] Advice for Surviving Siblings [00:54:12] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Connect with Audree Kropen Website | Sibs Forever Facebook | Sibs Forever Instagram | @sibs.forever TikTok | @Sibs.forever Twitter | sibsforever   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

NOTE: THIS IS A TWO-PART EPISODE, TO LISTEN TO PART ONE CLICK HERE There are so many layers to Audree's story, as mentioned in part one, she lost her sister Robin when she was 12, and they were only two and a half years apart. To this day, it has been the event that has impacted her life the most and has changed her trajectory of it. Audree moved forward in her grief journey and had two children, and one of the ways that Audree honored her sister, Robin, was to give her daughter Robin's name, as her middle name. In this week's episode, we will be sharing the second part of Audree's story, the loss of her grandson Hayden, who has a twin sister. Hayden's passing was not sudden, so Audree had the opportunity to share with her granddaughter her experience as a surviving sibling. Shortly before Hayden's death, Audree decided that she really wanted to honor him, she wanted to build something that would keep some aspect of him alive, and that's how Sibsforever.org was born. In this episode I'm covering: Intro [00:00:00] Audree and Hayden's story [00:02:13]  Moving the needle for Hayden's health [00:15:05] Sharing her experience as a surviving sibling with her granddaughter [00:22:09] Honoring Hayden [00:23:40] Creating Sibsforever.org - a way of honoring Robin and Hayden [00:32:34] Audree's experience with a Medium [00:40:35] How Sibsforever works [00:48:35] Audree's advice as a grandparent [00:54:17] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here Connect with Audree Kropen Website | Sibs Forever Facebook | Sibs Forever Instagram | @sibs.forever TikTok | @Sibs.forever Twitter | sibsforever   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings 

Myesha and Maya are probably the ones that have the most in common because both of their younger brothers were murdered, so they were left looking for answers. The call that changed Myesha's life forever, the one where they told her her little brother, Tony, had passed, was the beginning of a nightmare. It wasn't until years later that she began her grief journey, and one of the ways she has decided to honor her brother is by creating SAVED. In this week's episode, I am sharing Myesha and Tony's story, how she felt after she received "The Call" and what she wanted to do, her relationship with her mother, how she has decided to honor her brother like SAVED, and Love Notes to Heaven and so much more Get The Surviving Siblings Guide HERE In this episode I'm covering: Intro [00:00:00] Myesha and Antonio's story [00:01:57] Myesha's feelings after "The Call" [00:13:33] Family dynamics [00:17:10] Looking for answers [00:22:17] Myesha's grief journey [00:27:16] Carrying out Tony's legacy [00:31:15] Love Notes to Heaven [00:46:55] Advice for Young Myesha and Surviving Siblings [00:50:39] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here. Connect with Myesha Myesha's Instagram | @pretty.women.watch.sports SAVED Instagram | @saved_dmv Facebook | Myesha TikTok | @mymymygemini   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings

For Margaret, everything started when her mother passed. A few months after that, her brother Julian was killed in a motorcycle accident. This event made Margaret develop an understanding of everything surrounding death and grief from a completely different perspective. She now runs the Good Grief AUSTRALIA website - https://good-grief.com.au/ which helps others understand their grief journey. In this week's episode, I am sharing Margaret and Julian's story, what she considers the grief bubble and how that affected her grief journey, what was like for Margaret moving forward and coming out of the grief bubble after Julian's funeral, how she navigated the relationships after losing her brother and so much more. In this episode I'm covering: Intro [00:00:00] Margaret and Julian's story [00:02:05] The "Grief Bubble" [00:13:39] How the grief bubble affected Margaret's journey [00:16:41] Coming out of the grief bubble [00:25:16] Wanting accountability [00:36:07] Navigating relationships after the loss of Julian [00:48:06] How Good grief was born [00:57:02] Advice for Surviving Siblings [01:02:33] For full episode show notes and transcript, click here  ✨Get The Surviving Siblings Guide HERE✨ Connect with Margaret Rice Website | Good Grief Facebook | Good Grief Margaret Rice Instagram | @goodgrief_oz Margaret's Book | A Good Death, A Compassionate and Practical Guide to Prepare for the End of Life   Connect with Maya  Instagram | @survivingsiblingspodcast | @mayaroffler  TikTok | @survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter | @survivingsibpod Website | The Surviving Siblings