Sex for Saints
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© 2025 Amanda Louder Coaching
Description
As a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life!
In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.
In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.
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If you've been trying everything to fix your sex life and nothing seems to be working, this episode might feel a little uncomfortable, but also like a breath of fresh air. I'm sharing why the harder you push for connection, the more distance you might actually be creating, and what's really going on underneath that dynamic. We'll talk about the subtle pressure that shows up in relationships (even with the best intentions) and why it can shut desire down completely. I'll walk you through a simple but powerful framework called the ABC Loop that helps you create change without resistance. If you're tired of feeling rejected or stuck, this episode will give you a completely different way to approach intimacy.
In this episode, I talk about a sexual experience that doesn't get discussed nearly enough, mutual masturbation, and why it can be so powerful for connection, communication, and intimacy in marriage. I walk you through how learning your own body is essential before you can share that knowledge with your spouse, and how this experience becomes one of the clearest ways to show each other what actually feels good. We will dive into the vulnerability that comes with being seen in your own pleasure, and why that vulnerability is often what creates deeper emotional and sexual connection. I will also cover the importance of consent, communication, and when this might not be the right fit for every couple. If you're looking to move away from performance-based sex and toward something more authentic and connected, this episode will give you a whole new perspective.
What if intimacy in your marriage didn't actually depend on your spouse showing up first? In this episode, I'm sharing a powerful shift that changes how we think about emotional connection and why so many relationships feel one-sided. We will talk about what intimacy really means and how you can choose to be knowable and curious about your partner, even when they're not meeting you there. I will introduce the concept of self-validated intimacy and how it frees you from waiting on your spouse's response to feel connected. We will also explore the role of reciprocity and why mutual intimacy is still the goal. If you've been feeling lonely in your marriage or wondering why your spouse won't open up, this episode will help you see your next step more clearly.
Many women assume their lack of desire means something is wrong with them, but in this episode, I am going to explain that the real issue is often passive sexuality. We'll explore the difference between waiting for a spouse to create desire and actively engaging with your own sexuality. Through stories from real clients, I'll show how small shifts, like noticing attraction, savoring memories of intimacy, or anticipating connection, can gradually change how you experience your sexual relationship. I will also connect this idea to the principle of agency, reminding us that sexuality in marriage is something we can actively cultivate. By moving from passive to active sexuality, couples can experience deeper connection, more engagement, and a renewed sense of ownership in their intimate relationship.
I want to talk about why sex can feel draining instead of connecting, even when it's happening regularly, and how that disconnect quietly impacts a marriage. What does nourishing sex actually look like and why does obligation, performance, and one-sided dynamics make intimacy feel heavy instead of life-giving? Through real client stories, I will break down how emotional safety, presence, and mutual desire change both the individual and the relationship experience of sex. With my normal directness, I will share practical ways couples can begin shifting from sex that depletes to sex that genuinely feeds connection. This conversation is about creating intimacy that both partners look forward to, not endure. You're going to love it.
When a woman says she'd be completely fine never having sex again, I know something important has already broken. In this episode, I unpack why so many women in faith-based marriages end up here, even when they once loved sex, and how obligation, pressure, and shame quietly kill desire over time. I walk through both sides of this dynamic, explaining why men often respond with more pursuit and why that panic makes things worse instead of better. I also share what actually helps desire return, including understanding responsive desire, removing pressure, rebuilding trust through touch without agenda, and learning skills most of us were never taught. If sex has started to feel like duty instead of connection, this episode shows why that happened and what makes real desire possible again.
Have you ever had the experience where your spouse walks past you in the kitchen and doesn't even acknowledge you? Or when it seems like they'd rather scroll on their phone than talk to you? In this episode, I break down what it really means to feel desired in marriage and why being wanted is different from being needed. I explain how desire shows up through thoughts, words, actions, and emotional presence, and how many couples misinterpret or block desire without realizing it. I also walk through common reasons desire fades, including exhaustion, resentment, fear of rejection, and misunderstandings about how desire works differently for men and women. Here is what I want you to hear: desire often grows through small, intentional actions rather than waiting to feel it first. With a practical invitation at the end, this episode is full of real ways to really desire your spouse and have them feel desired again. to shift connection and intimacy.
In this episode of Sex for Saints, I walk through the six stages of marriage and explain why so many couples feel stuck, disconnected, or ready to give up around stage three. I break down what each stage looks like in real life, from the honeymoon phase to frustration, growth, true love, and legacy, using real client stories to show what's actually happening beneath the conflict. We talk about why stage three feels like failure, how emotional triggers and unmet needs collide there, and why this stage is not a sign you married the wrong person but an invitation to learn new relationship skills. I also explain how emotional regulation, boundary setting, and clean communication move couples into deeper intimacy, passion, and long-term connection. If your marriage feels hard right now, this episode will help you understand where you are and what it takes to move forward together instead of drifting apart. Source: The six stages framework referenced in this episode comes from mental.aspect on Instagram.
In this episode, I talk about a struggle I hear from women all the time but that rarely gets named out loud: loving your husband deeply while feeling disconnected from his body. I discuss where that discomfort often comes from, especially for women who grew up with strong messages about modesty, safety, and avoiding anything sexual before marriage. I explain how that conditioning can quietly shape how you see male bodies, how it affects your intimacy, and what your husband may be experiencing on the other side of it. I also share how attraction can be learned, how safety and curiosity can replace fear and avoidance, and the real steps you can take to begin seeing your husband's body differently. This episode is an honest, compassionate look at how body acceptance can transform not just your sex life, but the emotional connection in your marriage too.
In this episode, I'll talk about one of the most painful sexual dynamics I see in marriages: when a wife has been self-betraying for years by having sex she doesn't want, while her husband still feels unsatisfied. I'll explain why orgasms aren't the same thing as satisfaction, and how duty sex can actually block the connection both partners are craving. I'll unpack how this pattern creates deep resentment for her, confusion for him, and eventually a crisis point that forces the relationship to change. I'll also share what real repair can look like, how couples can move from obligation to genuine desire, and why quality and connection matter far more than frequency. This episode will be especially helpful for anyone who feels stuck in a painful sexual stalemate and wants clarity on what's really going wrong and what healing could look like.
In this episode, I talk about what happens when a spouse's sexual past becomes a source of anxiety, comparison, guilt, or secrecy inside a marriage. I unpack why obsessive thoughts about a partner's past aren't really about what happened then, but about fear and insecurity now, and why no amount of details ever brings peace. We also look at the other side of the equation: carrying a past you never disclosed, how secrets quietly create distance, and how to thoughtfully decide whether disclosure is actually the right step. Throughout the episode, I separate repentance before God from emotional healing in marriage, and explain why believing in the Atonement doesn't mean you're required to feel nothing. This episode is for anyone struggling with jealousy, rumination, moral superiority, or the weight of an unresolved sexual past in a faith-based marriage.
In this episode, I want to talk about something a lot of women quietly wonder but rarely say out loud: what if sex isn't bad, but it's also not very good? In this episode, I unpack why so many women experience sex as "meh," even in loving marriages where both partners are trying. We look at how expectations, anatomy, mental patterns, and our relationship with pleasure all shape how sex actually feels. I explain why nothing is broken about you if sex hasn't lived up to the hype, and how pleasure is something that's learned, not automatic. If you've ever wondered why sex feels underwhelming or why you'd rather do almost anything else, this conversation will help you understand what's really going on and what can change.
In this episode, I'm inviting you to look at a pattern that might be quietly shaping your sex life without you realizing it. We're talking about what happens when sex becomes a way to soothe anxiety, seek reassurance, or calm uncomfortable emotions instead of a place of desire and connection. I share real examples of how this shows up in marriages, why it feels helpful in the moment, and why it often leaves both partners feeling disconnected afterward. Most importantly, we explore what becomes possible when sex no longer has to carry the weight of proving everything is okay. If you want a sex life that feels lighter, more present, and rooted in genuine connection, this episode is for you.
Have you ever noticed how sex can feel like something you "check off," followed by days or weeks of not thinking about it at all? In this episode, I'm inviting you to consider a different way of relating to your sexuality that doesn't require pressure, performance, or forcing yourself to feel desire. The idea is called "simmering" and I will explain how staying gently connected to your sexual self between encounters can make sex feel easier, more natural, and more mutual. We'll talk about how anticipation and awareness create desire over time, especially if you're the lower desire partner. If you want sex to feel less like a mountain to climb and more like something you can ease into, this episode will help you see what's been missing and how to change it.
In this episode, I'm talking about the lies your brain tells you about sex and how those thoughts quietly sabotage connection in your marriage. I explain why your brain is wired to see sexual vulnerability as a threat, how past experiences and conditioning shape the stories you believe, and why those stories feel so true even when they aren't. We look at the specific lies that tend to show up for both higher-desire and lower-desire partners, and how those patterns keep couples stuck in fear, shame, and disconnection. I also share practical ways to recognize when your brain is lying, how to question those thoughts without judging yourself, and how curiosity can open the door to real intimacy again. If sex feels complicated, heavy, or confusing in your marriage, this episode will help you understand what's actually happening and how to move forward with more clarity and compassion.
This episode marks my 400th conversation about sex, marriage, and building a relationship that actually feels good to live inside, and I'm incredibly grateful you're here for it. To celebrate, I dive into why flirting can either create connection and desire or quietly turn into pressure that pushes your spouse away. I explain how flirting is meant to be playful and connective, not a disguised request for sex, and why the underlying dynamic matters more than the behavior itself. We talk about different flirting styles, how mindset shapes how flirting lands, and what to do when affection has started to feel loaded or tense. If you want flirting to feel lighter, safer, and genuinely connecting again, this episode will help you understand what's getting in the way and how to shift it. Find the Podcast Guide here.
In this episode, I'm talking about what it really looks like to infuse sexual energy throughout your marriage, not just during planned intimacy, but in the everyday moments that make you feel desired, connected, and alive together. I share stories, examples, and real quotes from couples who've learned how to build a playful, pressure-free erotic undercurrent that carries through their whole day. You'll hear how touch, texting, flirtation, emotional intimacy, and even mindset shifts can help you create that simmering connection you loved when you were first dating. I also walk through the difference between healthy sexual energy and unwanted pressure, and how each partner can contribute in ways that feel safe and genuine. If you want a marriage where sexual energy is woven into your daily life in a natural, meaningful way, this episode is for you.
In this episode, I will walk you through a question I've heard from so many women over the years: How do I know if I'm actually having an orgasm? I'll explain what weak orgasms, subtle climaxes, and full-body releases really feel like and why it's so common to be unsure. I'll share the most frequent reasons orgasms feel muted and teach you practical techniques—like the plateau method, pelvic floor engagement, deeper breathing, and mindset shifts—to help you build stronger, more satisfying orgasms. I'll also guide you through why solo and partnered orgasms can feel different and how to bring that same confident pleasure into your relationship. If you've ever wondered whether your orgasms could feel clearer, stronger, or more intense, this episode will feel like the conversation you've been needing.
In this episode, I'm breaking down the practical side of sexual hygiene and why it matters so much for intimacy, confidence, and overall sexual health. I walk through the basics of caring for your body, hands, nails, toys, and the environment you're having sex in, and I explain the common mistakes couples make that lead to infections and discomfort. I share real examples from clients to show how small hygiene habits can make a big difference in your relationship and your body. You'll also hear simple, actionable intimacy tips to help you build safer, healthier, more comfortable sex routines with your spouse. If you've ever wondered what actually matters when it comes to better sex and good hygiene, this episode will give you clear guidance without the overwhelm.
I get asked all the time how to keep sex and intimacy alive after having a baby, so in this episode I'm breaking down what really happens during this huge transition. Last week we talked about sex during pregnancy, and today we're looking at what comes next, because bringing home a baby reshapes your relationship in ways you can't always prepare for. Whether you're expecting your first or remembering those early days, I want you to feel seen, supported, and reminded that nothing is "wrong" with you if things feel off. I'll walk you through what the research shows about why so many couples struggle, and the practical habits that help the strongest partnerships find their way back to connection. My goal is to help you understand what's normal, what's fixable, and how you can rebuild intimacy with compassion - for yourself and for each other. Book mentioned: And Baby Makes Three
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BS. This is why there is confusion in our entire health model. Experts keep changing the definitions. Unless the goal happens to be to become a expert via perpetual confusion. A good expert would call BS on other experts whom love to change the definitions.
such a fascinating topic! loved this.
I used to enjoy this podcast, and one of the episodes started a conversation with me and my husband that was needed. But something she said really bothered me. She said the church "retracted" a stance on something which APPEARED to be true because it wasn't in the place it used to be. But I knew it was somewhere. And after months of searching in the wrong places, I found it in the right place. They had moved the guideline and stance from the FSY booklet to the Parent's Guide. In other words, Amanda didn't research enough and said something as a fact when it was only an assumption. She's preaching advising something is okay with her church when it isn't. Several podcasts after seem to deviate from that core religious belief. She can believe what she chooses, but to twist what a religious organization has said and state it as a fact instead of an opinion proves she is sharing the "philosophy of man mingled with scripture" and I no longer feel comfortable listening to her. Episode 139, by
I love listening to your podcasts, and this episode, aka "therapy session" episode, was exactly what I needed to hear right now. Yet, forgiving my husband and moving on has been so hard for me! what would you recommend for me who's struggling? I need to call you...
I love that you say to drop the manual. Every time I have ended a friendship it seemed that one of us wasn't holding up our end of the friendship agreement. Great content!