Keeping It Young

In this first episode of our Overcoming series, Dave and Bethlie discuss the topic of Anger.   Overcoming Anger Quote:  We are a society addicted to outrage. Martin Wickens In the social media world, outrage generates more "clicks" and ad revenue than anything else What does the Bible say about anger? Various words are used Anger Angry Wrath Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down on your wrath Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice A soft answer turns away wrath Fathers provoke not your children to anger   What does anger look like? an outward explosion a simmering resentment harsh words Rage An angry person is churlish, mean, unkind Illustration of Nabal churlish - difficult, fierce, intense Evil - bad, disagreeable, giving pain, unhappiness, or misery) An angry person is difficult to get along with Anger leads to bitterness and poisons an individual as well as everyone close to them - especially one's spouse and kids    What do we know about anger?  Some things to understand: If you are single, know this:  an anger issue always gets worse after marriage. "with a furious man you shall not go . . ." It is impossible to live with an angry man without making him angry Same is true for an angry woman The target of anger is not the cause You are not to carry the responsibility for a spouses anger or a parents anger  It is not your fault if your spouse is angry It is not your fault if your parents are angry Regarding men: anger is fueled by testosterone and is different than a woman's anger Anger is physical often before it is processed (think of punching a wall) Crying is a woman's response to feeling unloved; anger is a man's response to feeling disrespected Talking things out will not make things better A man has to process his anger before he can talk Talking about it in the moment will only increase his anger  give him time to golf, piddle in the garage, or whatever  This is how he processes his emotions Very few men process their emotions by talking Regarding women:   Anger is fueled by emotions and wounds Anger is often a result of unresolved conflicts  Anger is sometimes the result of unmet expectations

Overcoming   1 John 5:4 This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.   2 Corinthians 2:14 But thanks be unto God, who always causes us to triumph in Christ   Introduction:  As we enter 2026, we are going to explore the word Overcoming! How do you overcome (fill in the blank)?   Henry Ford "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently"   Proposition:  It is God's plan that we overcome every issue we face in our marriage and family and minstry. Here are four essentials The Word of God - what does the Bible say Use of proven methods but is not a proven method  and is a failed method but is a failed method Gentle parenting sounds so "cool"  Cohabitation sounds plausible  Use of proven resources Connection classes, Sunday School, life groups, etc Worship Preaching Counseling Books are a gift from God that most people never take advantage of When it comes marriage and family issues, you cannot get the help you need in video snippets and fast-paced graphics The church The investment of right steps over a long period of time Time is required to do the work Time is required to seek God through His Word in prayer Time is required for a continual application of right steps Time is required to develope new habits Time is required to make changes Time is required to sow seeds that can grow and bring fruit    

Today, Bethlie and I wanted to reminisce a bit; talk about the future of the podcast; and make a plea for your help.   Reminisce We have podcasted weekly for 5 years now.  A ton of study More than a few hours in recording Hundreds of messages and emails answered We have enjoyed getting to know so many new people through our podcast Lots of couples More than a few familes Quite a few singles and teens as well   The Future We know there is a need We know there is a growing need There is an ignorance of Biblical Truth  There is simultaneously a growing embrace of cultural norms Masculinity is downplayed Feminism is celebrated - indirectly, but celebrated nonetheless Marriage is feared and discouraged  Wait until college is over Wait until you have X amount of money and a secure enough job While Christianity is frustrated at the aggressiveness of liberal views, we sometimes are getting the same results when it comes to preparing our kids for work, for marriage, and for life Transgenderism and homosexuality and feminism destroy and damage the traditionally celebrated nuclear family. They also undermine it. There is a subtle refusal of Biblical Commands  An increasing favoring of cultural views The issue of leadership and submission The issue of modesty and standards relating to modesty The issue of child training A fear of correction It will damage a child It is negative  Our forefathers were too hard A fear of culture There is a failure of Biblical instruction in pulpits in homes Our boys are held back from being and becoming men who are prepared to be leaders, husbands, and fathers There is very little training There is also a disdain of male leadership Our daughters are redirected form being and becoming ladies who are trained and prepared to be wives and mommies There is almost no training in this area There is a disdain for male leadership  Shown in ridicule Shown in weddings Shown in women's Bible studies All this is to say, there is a growing need.    Our request We request your prayers We request your promotion Like and share on social media Give a rating if you are able to do so Tell others We request your support Many of you support us periodically Some of you support us monthly A few churches do Some individuals do Perhaps God would lead you to do the same We will be updating our giving site in coming months, but for now, you can give online at EvangelistDaveYoung.com or by check made payable to Dave and Bethlie Young at 2621 Woodstone Dr Poplar Bluff MO 63901   As we come to the end of yet another year, lets determine afresh and anew that "we will serve the Lord with gladness."     Happy New Year!  

Merry Christmas!!! We love this time of year! We love that it is a time of celebration We love that it is a time of joy and singing and lights and decorations We love that it is a time of feasting We love that it is a time of gifts and giving We love that it is a time of remembering that Jesus Christ came into the World -as the Savior -as Diety We love the Christmas story   Matthew 1-2 Geneaology of Joseph - to list Jesus legal right to the throne of David TheAngel's message to Joseph The Angel's insistence that He be called Jesus The Angel's insistence that he be called Immanuel The arrival of the Wise Men their knowledge The star The way the events completely fulfill the OT prophecies about the Messiah Called out of Egypt Weeping for the loss of Children Called a Nazarene (lived in Nazareth) Luke 1-2 is the most detailed account Emphasis on prayer multitude was praying Zechariah was praying Anna and Simeon were praying Emphasis on faith Mary just accepted it and acted on it Joseph did the same Emphasis on Messiah's deity Mother of my Lord (Elizabeth) He who is Mighty hath done great things for me Emphasis on Jesus as the Messiah He fulfilled the OT prophecies He claimed Diety and had the power of Diety He was cut off just like Daniel had said he would be He died and lived again just like Isaiah had said he would   Celebrate Him this week! Read the story Attend church Teach it to your kids and grandkids Sing the songs Turn to Him 

Dave and Bethlie discuss the book Manhood by Senator Josh Hawley.  About the Author: Represents Missouri in US Senate First Amendment Lawyer and law professor Former Attorney General of Missouri They live in Ozark MO and have three children About the Book: Senator Hawley addresses an issue that concerns many in our world today - the issue of masculinity under attack.   He calls this issue a crisis and I agree Why I love the book: It is good and offers a perspective that is sometimes outside of my realm He shows how manhood was perceived in the Greek and Roman era He has great illustrations from his own experiences growing up in a rural area He build a model of manhood following the Bible, the Word of God What is the point? Senator Hawley shows the essential virtues a man should cultivate Shows why a man has to be a warrior, builder, priest, and king Show the important of courage and commitment as the starting point for manhood Shows the philosophy behind modern liberalism and offers evidence of why it is so destructive to our nation as a whole. The chapters; 2 Parts 10 chapters In the Beginning A Man's Mission A Man's Battle  A Man's Promise Husband Father Warrior Builder Priest King Chapter 1  General patterns Living Habits and Work More and more young men remain at home 50 % of Lower skilled young men in their 20s who have a job still live at home (or with a close relative) If they don't have a job, 70% still live at home. 2015 - 1/4 of young men 20-20 had no work at all In 1970, 95 percent of 30 years old made more money then their fathers had In 2014, only 44 percent did Underperformance at school 70% of Ds and Fs are given to boys By 8th grade, only 20% of boys are proficient in writing At same age, only 24% can earn proficient scores on reading exams Boys now make up 2/3 of students in remedial programs, not because their intelligence is lower, but because they aren't trying! What do young men do with their time? Screens Leisure Porn Another way of saying it is:  Socializing, relaxing, leisure Vast amount of leisure time includes video games and porn These young men are now battling depression and drug abuse at historic levels and the results have been disastrous Liberalism is the philosophy behind it all Liberalism believes that western society is unequal unjust and corrupt to its foundations Masculinity is one of the foundations and it must be "smashed" for man to be free Senator Hawley's point is that the answer to our masculine crisis is "the oldest and most profound story there is. It is the story of the Bible"   Chapter 2 places an emphasis on man's purpose by tracing our story back to the garden of Eden   Chapter 3 places an emphasis on man's responsibility and duty   Chapter 4 is especially worth considering It details how masculinity became something oppressive, something to be avoided and eradicated In chapter 3, he introduces the readers to Epicurus and to Rousseau and showed how that their ideology lead to men throwing off all responsibility and choosing only to do what they wanted to do.  Their happiness and their fulfillment was the only reason to live In this chapter, he show how the followers of Karl Marx paved the way for the attack on modern masculinity It saw traditional culture as the enemy; especially Christianity From there, it attacked femininity and masculinity Senator Hawley gives ample illustrations of how this is being taught in our schools and in our institutions and how it is destroy our nation as we know it

Part 2 Dave and Bethlie discuss the book And The Bride Wore White.    Chapter 2-4 about Satan's lies. His lies haven't really changed (Gen. 3:1-13) "Did God really say that?" "God is keeping something good from you." "A little won't hurt you." "Now that you've fallen, God has no use for you."  There is no debating with the devil.  We must learn truth and shut him down with truth.   Chapter 6 about Purity being a process.   Realizing: *I was not born pure. (We are born innocent, but we are also born sinners.) *I will face the beast of lust, perhaps over and over again, but that in itself is not  a sin. Rather it is a chance to develop my purity by talking to God, talking to a  friend, and making a fast, strategic exit.  *I can become pure. (Pg 57)   Chapter 7 about envisioning a Godly Husband. One of Charity's favorite chapters, simply because the author encourages girls to dream about and pray for the man that God has for them. (Incidentally, when I was praying for David Young, I was dreaming of a handsome man with dark, curly hair, blue eyes, and dimples. The Lord loves me! Ironically, David wasn't even saved when I started praying for him!)   Chapter 8-12 give practical and Biblical tools to maintain purity including awesome dating advice. *Woven throughout the book is Bob and Dannah's love story, how they met, how they dated, broke up, got back together, became engaged, and eventually married.   Self-control and self-denial Modesty in dress and conduct Having the right kind of conversations. ("Foul lines"—things you won't discuss until you are ready to be married.) (pg 98-99) Be sure you (and the one you're interested in) love God MOST. Being open to wise counsel, particularly from parents.   Conclusion The book finishes with God's beautiful, sacred plan for sexuality.  There are "letters" in the appendix which deal with things like sexual abuse pornography fatherlessness abortion singleness

Dave and Bethlie discuss the book And The Bride Wore White.  And The Bride Wore White takes the "purity talk" to a whole new level. Dannah Gresh is conversational, humorous, vulnerable, and frank, all while supporting every point with Scripture. Reading the book is like hearing from a loving big sister. It's written for high school through college aged girls, and we recommend that moms and their girls (or youth pastor's wives and teen girls) read it together. Charity and I read it together, and we had some great conversations. Be advised that Dannah is careful but frank about cultural struggles and purity issues. If we're being honest, our children, even if we feel they are totally protected from outside influences, are hearing what our world has to say about sexuality. It is worth it to prepare them with truth for the lies that our culture presents.   Dannah is also open and honest (again, carefully) about her own purity failure as a teen. My fear when I first picked up the book, was that it would present her "fall" or "struggle" in such a way that it would give license to sexual sin because, after all, that's what grace is for, right? But that is not at all Dannah's heart. Her desire is to keep girls from the shattering heartache and years of guilt and shame that Satan and our world never promises, but always delivers. The book also addresses how to allow the Lord to free you from sexual sin and to live in victory and healing grace.   *Charity told me that she felt the frankness of the book is needed to make sure every area of purity is well-covered and there is no room for "loop-hole" mentality. She said, "Mrs. Gresh makes sure she tells you every area that is wrong." Chapter Titles Include: And the Bride Wore White: Deciding to Live a Lifestyle of Purity   Satan's Big Fat Sex Lies: Learning to Recognize the Truth   Satan's Biggest, Fattest Sex Lie: Resisting the Lure to Sin   Breakin' Up is Hard to Do: Breaking off Sinful Relationships in Three Steps Purity is a Process: Defining Innocence and Purity Purity Dreams of Its Future: Envisioning a Godly Husband Purity is Governed by Its Value: Discovering Your Value in God's Eyes Discovering Your Value in the Eyes of Others Purity Speaks Boldly: Preparing Your Tongue for Dates Purity Loves Its Creator at any Cost: Pursuing a Love Relationship with Jesus  Purity Embraces Wise Guidance Inviting your Parents into Your love Life Purity Watches Burning Flames: Finding M.O.R.E. to Help You   Each chapter begins with a testimony from a teen or college student who is walking or learning to walk in purity. One of the teen girls to whom I gave this book said that those testimonials really spoke to her.     Every Chapter also begins with Scripture, the very first passage being Titus 2:11-13, "For the Grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;" And so chapter one starts with saying NO to ungodliness and worldly lust, but emphasizing that we cannot maintain that purity on our own.   Every chapter ends with a reflection prompt allowing the reader to journal some ways that the Lord is convicting or encouraging them.

Join Dave and Bethlie as they look at Psalm 107.  Get in the spirit of thanksgiving together. Happy Thanksgiving and thank you SO much for listening to the Keeping It Young Podcast!

In this episode, Dave and Bethlie discuss "Good Pictures Bad Pictures," a critical resource for porn-proofing today's young kids in an age where internet pornography is accessible, affordable, anonymous, and aggressively seeking out our children. This book provides parents with practical tools and age-appropriate language to help children develop their own internal filter against harmful content before they're exposed to it. We'll explore why protecting our kids from pornography is essential and how this book equips families with a proactive plan to address one of the most dangerous threats facing children today. Young children are being exposed to Internet Pornography They tell several devastating stories of real kids damaged by it These kids prompted the book Porn is accessible to children and is anonymous and affordable (free) When it comes to kids and pornography, ignorance is risk. A child's brain is wired to imitate what it sees A child is therefore more vulnerable to porn Viewing porn alters a child's brain in such a way that it easily leads to an addiction that is harder to overcome than drugs or alcohol 100% of kids who choose to continue to view porn after an initial exposure are negatively influenced  Today's porn has metastasized into degrading violence, rape, sex with children, group sex, and horrors that cannot be spoken outlaid. Addiction is very real Porn is a sinister counterfeit because it teaches that sex is a form of self-gratifying and often violent diversion instead of a way to build a loving committed relationship with someone they trust. Kids must develop their own internet filters.  Its called porn-proofing It teaches kids what porn is It teaches them why it is harmful to their brains It teaches them how to minimize impact once they have been exposed   About the chapters   Chapter 1 defines pornography Chapter 2 defines addiction Chapter 3 discusses the "feeling brain" (as opposed to the "thinking brain") Chapter 4 discusses the "thinking brain" Chapter 5 discusses how to put the two together Chapter 6 My brains attraction center Chapter 7 How Porn tries the brain into an addiction Chapter 8 A CAN DO plan Chapter 9 Escaping the poison of pornography   About the CAN DO plan   Close my eyes immediately Always tell a trusted adult Name it when I see it Distract myself Order my thinking brain to be the boss

Part 4 in the series on the book  The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships. Chapter 5. How to Argue with Teenagers and Come Out as Closer Friends 5,000 adults asked what they wished their parents had done differently during times of conflict They wished their parents had listened more They wished they could have talked about feelings more. They wished they had talked to their parents more Begin by listening - James 1:19 Sometimes we men don't know what to say to connect to our children's emotions - listening is a huge part of the battle Allow their emotion to touch you Take time to feel their pain Take time to feel their sadness Four destructive ways to argue Continually withdrawing from an argument Letting them escalate into hurtful name calling fights Belittling or invalidating each other during an argument Believing that a family member is tryin to hurt, frustrate, or cause fear on purpose. Drive-thru talking!   Chapter 7 Democracy can bring responsibility to your home This is the chapter where they talk about making a contract  See p. 118 for the why have one And p. 118 on how to develop one p. 125 They give advice on Dating

Part 3 in the series on the book  The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships. Chapter 6 Finding the Best solution to any conflict Making Wise decisions is having the ability through discretion and extensive knowledge to sensibly discern and judge something before receiving and acting upon it.  Power struggles cause the most issues with teens The key is to find a solution that both can feel good about Keys: Establish rules about discussing conflicts 10 rules for fair fighting The calmer the argument, the better the chance of an honoring outcome. With teens agree ahead of time on what the consequences of poor choices will be. Chapter 7 Democracy can bring responsibility to your home Real freedom is having the inner power to do what is best for all concerned. Immaturity is lacking the power to do what we know is right and not being able to delay gratification This is the chapter where they talk about making a contract  See p. 118 for the why have one A written and signed document has tremendous power to keep peoplein harmony with agreed-upon, loving rules And p. 119 on how to develop one You have to read the book for all the details, but here are a few thoughts:   Younger kids need less contract Teens need more Use precise wording that makes expectations clear We have recommended this in blended families especially The more involved in the agreement the greater the outcome There is a section here with some very practical advice: On asking questions - important to teach our teens We taught ours the Daniel method based on Daniel 1 On Cleanliness is good too Their rooms had to be clean before leaving for school or no TV for 24 hours

Dave and Bethlie continue their series on the book  The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships.   Chapter 5. How to Argue with Teenagers and Come Out as Closer Friends 5,000 adults asked what they wished their parents had done differently during times of conflict They wished their parents had listened more They wished they could have talked about feelings more. They wished they had talked to their parents more Begin by listening - James 1:19 Sometimes we men don't know what to say to connect to our children's emotions - listening is a huge part of the battle Allow their emotion to touch you Take time to feel their pain Take time to feel their sadness Four destructive ways to argue Continually withdrawing from an argument Letting them escalate into hurtful name calling fights Belittling or invalidating each other during an argument Believing that a family member is tryin to hurt, frustrate, or cause fear on purpose. Drive-thru talking!

We're taking a break from our book study this week and focusing on a very important topic in our society.  During this season of high emotions in our country, join Dave and Bethlie as they look at emotions and personality from a Biblical standpoint.  This episode originally aired on episode 142.  

Dave and Bethlie begin a new series on the book  The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships.   This is a great book about navigating the teen years. I love the quotes that are at the beginning of each chapter: Any adult who behaves the way that teenagers behave would be judged as certifiably insane.  Ana Freud In no order of things is adolescence the simple time of life.  -Jean Erskine Stewart   Fifty years from now it will not matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account, or what your clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because you were important in the life of a child.  -anonymous   Many of the others are verses. Here are some of the subjects he tackles: How to make the teen years the best years How to keep anger levels low How to argue with a teen and come out as closer friends Finding the best solution in any conflict How democracy can bring responsibility to your home Strengthening your relationship with your teenager Helping teens make lemonade out of life's "lemons" Helping teens maintain and regain their virginity When teenagers walk away from the light Leaving home in honor   Chapter Three  - Keeping Anger Levels Low Unresolved anger is the number one enemy of our teen's healthy development and spiritual growth. Three faces of unresolved anger Hurt feelings Frustration Fear/Feeling unsafe What does it look like? Relationally - We distance from others Spiritually - We walk in the dark  Emotionally - we close our heart What provokes anger? Sarcastic jokes and comments Refusing to let them think on their own That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard You are too young to understand Who asked you?  Four steps in opening a teen closed spirit Reflect tenderness Lower your voice Become gentle in heart Speak slowly Get down on one knee Relax your facial expressions Increase your own understanding Empathy is identifying and understanding the other person's situation, feeling, and motives Admit the offense Write a note of apology And so forth Seek Forgiveness

Join Dave and Bethlie discuss as they discuss part 2 of thei 4th book in this series. Solving Marriage Problems by Jay E. Adams. Part 2 Chapter 5 - More Unbiblical concepts about marriage One's priorities must change radically with marriage.   Marriage is a commitment to become a new person.   Chapter 6 deals with handling Stubborn Habits that wreck a marriage A habit is dislodged only by crowding it out with its biblical alternative. No change commanded by God is unrealistic for those who know Christ as their Savior and are willing to do things His way.   Chapter 7 deals with communication Communication is essential for developing and maintaining the deep intimacy that God designed for the marriage relationship. The Christian walk (subject of Ephesians 4-6) is not a solitary walk.  Harmony in walk requires harmony in talk. Mishandled anger is one of he biggest hindrances to communication Clamming up Blowing up Truth may hurt, but in the long run it will not hurt like a lie And truth can be told to another, if it is relevant and spoken in the right manner   Chapter 10 The parent-child relationship is temporary: God says it must be broken.   The husband wife relationship is permanent.  

Dave and Bethlie discuss the 4th book in this series. Solving Marriage Problems by Jay E. Adams. Chapter 1 p. 2. Husbands and wives must grow as individuals in conformity to Christ in order to be compatible with each other. What this book is all about? Marriage problems of all sorts. Causes of these problems Ways of detecting, categorizing, naming and describing problems in a biblical manner. Ways of reaching biblical solutions to marriage problems    Chapter 3 - What causes Marriage Problems? The basic cause is always sin. But sin manifests itself in two ways: in erroneous concepts and in sinful attitudes or practices p 11 Wrong living will be changed only by rooting out the fundamental cause in a person's thinking. P. 12 Correcting organic problems do not make everything better.  An organic problem may include bad attitudes to develop or cause a breakdown in communication.  Correcting the problem does not automatically correct the attitude and the communication. Those have to be corrected separately.   Chapter 4 - UnBiblical Concepts about Marriage The purpose of marriage is to meet man's need for companionship. Marriage was designed to defeat loneliness.  Companionship, therefore, is the essence of marriage. This is why fornication, adultery and polygamy are wrong. They vitiate true companionship because they destroy the intimacy of a constant, close relationship.   The Obligation of marriage is to vow to provide companionship for another for the rest of their lives.   It is not about receiving companionship but about giving it.

Join Dave and Bethlie as they discuss the third book in this series entitled Books That Can Help and Why. This series they'll be discussing Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman. About the author Dr. Leman is a psychologist and best-selling author He is also a radio and tv personality  He is a speaker About the book Dr. Leman says that sex is about the quality of your entire love life His book is a challenge to give your spouse the best gift ever—a sexually enthusiastic mate Not just a how to book but a do it yourself look at why to do it and how to do it better He writes about what goes on in our brains and in our relationship with our spouse and how to overcome some errors and also to use what we learn to our advantage A few good points "The physical aspect will usually take care of itself if the relationship is healthy. If you decide to become sexually adventurous as a couple, you're not going to do things perfectly, anyway; you're going to fail, and hopefully, you'll laugh about it when you do. Nobody's sex life is such that every experience is a ten. You may have to be satisfied with regular eights or sixes and even an occasional three. P 10 This book is written "to hep you understand what a unique and wonderful gift you are to each other, as well as the unique and wonderful ways you can express your love in a very physical and pleasurable sense." P 10 "Sex is part of a relationship." P 12 "Why do you think that God reserves sex for marriage? I believe that one of the reasons (which gets very little attention, unfortunately) is that good sex is not easy and it's very personal." "Abstinence doesn't make the loins grow hotter, it just begets more abstinence." P 184 "We live in a world that glorifies youth, uncommitted sex, and bodies that require a ridiculous amount of self-serving time in the gym. Let's turn that around. Let's reaffirm the bodies of women who have generously and selflessly produced life for one, two, three, or four babies. Let's appreciate those men who work hard to support their families and who don't have time to stop off at the gym and lift weights because they're eager to get home and play with their kids" p 238[';;  A  few challenges from the author about reading the book One to you who are living together but not married - this book is not for you "If you are living with someone outside of marriage, I suggest you move out and start over. The two of you may still make it work, but if you can't make it work outside of marriage without being sexually active, odds are that the marriage will soon fall apart anyway." p. 19 One for those who are uncomfortable talking about sex in a forthright manner. He is rather frank. So be warned! So some good quotes: Good lovers learn to know their lover better than they know themselves. You've got to stop viewing sex through your perception alone and start viewing in through your spouse's eyes." P 32 Great marital sex is about learning to love someone else the way he or she wants to be loved. p. 33 Some recommended chapters Learning to make music, the first night and beyond Very good for those about to get married Very good in preparing for the honeymoon For women only For men only 31 flavors (not ice cream) 31 suggestions for keeping your love life exciting and fresh Turning off the turnoffs Sex's greatest enemy For women - weariness Chapter 14 is called "too pooped to whoop" It gives practical advice for dealing with weariness For men - lack of pursuit on the part of the wife A man wants to be needed and wanted and prized Sex in the Winter - about getting older and how to face it and handle it well and enjoy sexual relations as you do

Dave and Bethlie continue their  multi-part series on the book Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp.   PART 3 4.  His comments about the ROD are really good in chapter 11 Children are not born morally and ethically neutral If they are they don't need correction, just direction If they are not, then they need correction Our child's problem is that he or she is a sinner! p. 102. Folly is the problem we have to address according to proverbs Folly is not childishness Folly describes the person who does not fear God A fools life is run by his desires and fears The fool lives out of the immediacy of his lusts, cravings, expectations, hopes, and fears The issue is authority Will a child live under the authority of God and his parents? Will he/she live under their own authority? All children choose to live under their own authority: I don't want my diaper changed I don't want to sit quietly at the table during this meal You are going to make me and if you do I will scream and throw a huge fit Leave this to take root and grow, and it produces "a rebellious teenager who will not allow anyone to rule him." "God has ordained the rod of discipline for this condition." p. 103 "Confrontation, with the immediate and undeniably tactile sensation of a spanking, renders an implacable child sweet." (p. 103) The quote on p 103 is massively important            4.  The rod's function It imparts wisdom Pr 29:15, which is tied to the fear of god "It creates an atmosphere in which instruction can be given. The spanking renders the child compliant and ready to receive life-giving words."  (p 104) Tripp deals with the question - don't all children eventually learn to obey? He say NO!! Proverbs 29:15, 17

PART 2   3. Some important quotes stand out!  4.  His comments about the ROD are really good in chapter 11 Children are not born morally and ethically neutral If they are they don't need correction, just direction If they are not, then they need correction Our child's problem is that he or she is a sinner! p. 102. Folly is the problem we have to address according to proverbs Folly is not childishness Folly describes the person who does not fear God A fools life is run by his desires and fears The fool lives out of the immediacy of his lusts, cravings, expectations, hopes, and fears The issue is authority Will a child live under the authority of God and his parents? Will he/she live under their own authority? All children choose to live under their own authority: I don't want my diaper changed I don't want to sit quietly at the table during this meal You are going to make me and if you do I will scream and throw a huge fit Leave this to take root and grow, and it produces "a rebellious teenager who will not allow anyone to rule him." "God has ordained the rod of discipline for this condition." p. 103 "Confrontation, with the immediate and undeniably tactile sensation of a spanking, renders an implacable child sweet." (p. 103) The quote on p 103 is massively important The function of the rod It imparts wisdom Pr 29:15, which is tied to the fear of god "It creates an atmosphere in which instruction can be given. The spanking renders the child compliant and ready to receive life-giving words."  (p 104) Tripp deals with the question - don't all children eventually learn to obey? He say NO!! Proverbs 29:15, 17 The rod defined - p. 104 "The rod is a parent, in faith toward God and faithfullness toward his or her children, undertaking the responsibility of careful, timely, measured, and controlled use of physical punishment to underscore the importance of obeying God, thus rescuing the child from continuing in his foolishness unto death."  It is a parental exercise It is an act of faith in God and His Word It is an act of faithfulness - an expression of love and comitment It is an act of responsibility - not a parent determining to punish, but a parent determining to obey It is an act of physical punishment Not venting or parental anger Not frustration Not based on a feeling of my child is bothering me It is always measured and controlled It is a rescue mission Rescues the child from continuing in foolishness To ignore your child's rebellion against God's authority is to ultimately brings God's greater chastisement into their lives. The Rod clarified Not unbridled temper Not the right to hit my child Not venting or frustration not retribution Not payment but restoration Not vindictive The Rod objected I love my child too much too spank You love yourself too much to spank them I am afraid I will hurt them "Biblically-balanced discipline never physically endangers a child" I am afraid it will make him rebellious and angry Proverbs 29:17 teaches the exact opposite I am afraid it will teach them to hit Only if you spank in anger It doesn't work It doesn't when you spank in anger or out-of-control It doesn't when you are inconsistent It doesn't when you fail to be persistent It doesn't when you aren't effective I could be arrested for child abuse Only spank in the privacy of your home and do it right

Join Dave and Bethlie as they embark on this multi-part series on the book Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. What is the point of the book? It is written to parents with children of any age and provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child's heart into the paths of life. Several things stand out in Part 1 His comments about Behavior on page 4 If behavior becomes our only focus, we miss an important part of training "Parents often get sidetracked with behavior. If your goal in discipline is changed behavior, it is easy to understand why this happens.   . . . You think you have corrected when you have changed unacceptable behavior to behavior that you sanction and appreciate. "What is the problem? You ask. The problem is this: Your child's needs are far more profound than his aberrant behavior . . . If you are to really help him, you must be concerned with the attitudes of heart that drive his behavior. " "A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable; it is condemnable." Don't miss the balance there . . . "What must you do in correction and discipline? You must require proper behavior. God's law demands that. You cannot, however, be satisfed to leave the matter there. You must help your child . . . expose the attitude of the heart that has resulted in wrong behavior." A few suggestions from be and Bethlie If your child is younger, behavior is the first priority. They don't understand yet, but you can't wait until they have the capacity to reason and think.  You will be way behind if you do.  So go ahead and focus on their behavior. Give me your attention. As they then begin to grow and understand, you can then begin working on their heart.   Give me your heart His comments about influences that shape who a person is and what they become as a result What are the influences? Structure of their family life Family Values Illustration of Vases or Disobedience on p 12 Family Roles Family Conflict Resolution Family Response to Failure Family History What are the mistakes we often make regarding these influences? We assume they are just helpless victims because of their We assume they are unaffected by their experiences We rely on determinism: if the environment is right, the kid will turn out right We have to remember that the clay is not passive This is why the heart is so important