Parenting Different

Eating struggles in foster and adoptive homes are rarely about food alone. In this powerful and deeply affirming episode, Anna sits down with Madison a registered dietitian and adoptive mom to explore how trauma fundamentally reshapes a child’s relationship with eating. From food hoarding and extreme pickiness to fear, control, and shame at the table, this conversation names what so many parents experience but few know how to address.Madison shares why common advice like restricting snacks, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or locking up the pantry can unintentionally deepen fear and dysregulation. Instead, she offers a trauma-informed framework centered on felt safety, trust, and connection reminding parents that healing begins when children no longer have to protect themselves around food. This episode will help caregivers shift from fear-based feeding to relationship-based nourishment.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, judged, or worried you’re “doing it wrong” when it comes to feeding your child with trauma, this episode will meet you with clarity, compassion, and hope.What You’ll LearnWhy trauma often shows up as food hoarding or picky eatingHow food insecurity impacts a child’s brain and behaviorWhy traditional nutrition rules don’t work for traumatized kidsThe hidden harm of labeling foods as “good” or “bad”How trust and felt safety shape a child’s eating habitsTrauma-informed alternatives to restriction and controlHow parents can model a healthy relationship with food👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

What does it really mean to choose adoption, and how does that decision stay with you for life? In Part 1 of this deeply honest conversation, Janelle Basham shares her story of becoming a birth mother at 17 and the love, loss, and courage behind making an adoption plan. With vulnerability and clarity, Janelle takes us back to the beginning, navigating pregnancy, racial tension, limited support, and the painful realization that love alone isn’t always enough to parent well.Janelle challenges the myths and stereotypes surrounding birth mothers and adoption, speaking openly about grief, identity, and the lifelong “hole in the heart” that placement can leave behind. As both a birth mother and a leader in adoption advocacy, she offers a perspective rooted in lived experience, one that reminds us adoption is not about being unwanted, but about sacrifice, responsibility, and doing the best you can with what you have.This is Part 1 of a powerful two-part series that lays the emotional foundation for understanding adoption with greater compassion, honesty, and care.What You’ll LearnWhat leads a birth mother to choose adoptionWhy love alone isn’t enough to parent a childHow parenting plans and adoption plans can exist togetherThe long-term grief birth mothers carry after placementWhy adoption is not about rejection or abandonmentHow harmful stereotypes about birth parents affect everyoneWhat it really means to live with loss, not “move on” from it👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful and deeply vulnerable episode of Parenting Different, host Anna Bernacki talks with Julie Etter, teacher, mom of five, and adoptive parent trainer, about the silent grief that so many women carry after infertility and pregnancy loss. Julie shares her decade-long journey through medical dismissal, chronic pain, and nine heartbreaking losses before discovering the truth about her endometriosis and PCOS.Her story doesn’t end there. Julie opens up about stepping into adoption while still holding unhealed grief and how that journey reshaped her understanding of motherhood, loss, and love. Together, Anna and Julie explore how infertility trauma can show up in parenting, the importance of therapy, and why true healing begins when we give ourselves permission to grieve.What You’ll Learn:The emotional and physical toll of infertility and pregnancy lossHow medical dismissal shapes women’s health experiencesWhy adoption is not a “cure” for infertility griefThe impact of unresolved trauma on parenting and attachmentHow therapy and honest conversations foster real healingWhy comparison minimizes grief and how to lead with empathyPractical ways to advocate for your health and emotional wellbeingIf this episode touched your heart, share it with someone walking a similar road.Download your free resource: parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more real, healing-centered conversations on adoption, identity, and parenting.

In this episode, we explore the reality of international adoption through the powerful story of Jodi Slein’s journey to adopt her son from Romania. Host Anna Bernacki sits down with Jodi, a parent coach and adoptive mom, to talk about the moment she first learned about Romania’s orphanage crisis, what it was like to walk inside an institution where infants had stopped crying, and how she navigated the complex process of adopting a child internationally in the 1990s. Jodi opens up about the early signs of trauma, sensory challenges, and attachment needs that emerged after bringing her son home—and how adolescence brought even deeper layers of grief, identity, and healing. She also discusses the long-term impact of institutional care, the closure of Romania’s international adoption program, and what happened to children who were never adopted. What You’ll Learn: • The truth about international adoption in the 90s • Conditions inside Romanian orphanages • Early trauma and sensory needs in adopted children • How attachment forms after institutional care • Challenges during school years and adolescence • Reunion with birth family and its emotional impact • Why Romania closed international adoption and what came next If you want to understand the real, unfiltered story behind international adoption and the resilience of children who survive early neglect, this episode is essential viewing. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

Host Anna Bernacki welcomes Parenting Different founder Isaac Etter to break down the biggest misunderstandings adoptive parents have and what truly helps adoptees thrive. From trauma-informed parenting and race, to curiosity, grief, and identity, Isaac explains why adoptive parents don’t need perfection, they need tools, community, and humility. Packed with insight and actionable wisdom, this episode gives families a roadmap for raising secure, connected, and emotionally supported adoptees. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this powerful and personal episode, host Anna Bernacki sits down with her adopted brother Jon DeWitt for their first-ever honest conversation about what it was like growing up adopted in the same home. Together, they revisit childhood memories, talk about attachment and belonging, and reflect on how adoption shaped their identities in different ways. With honesty, humor, and deep empathy, they explore what it means to find connection, heal family patterns, and become the kind of adults and siblings they needed as kids. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Host Anna Bernacki sits down with adoptive mom and advocate Alice Refauvelet to explore the messy, meaningful work of transracial parenting. Alice shares her journey through infertility and adoption, how she’s learning to raise a Black daughter in a white world, and why doing better starts with being willing to learn. A candid, hope-filled look at the power of reflection, repair, and community in adoption. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode of the Parenting Different Podcast, host Anna Bernacki speaks with Devon Anasiewicz, whose journey through foster care and adoption began with one unexpected phone call. Devon opens up about loving through uncertainty, grieving the children who leave, and holding space for both the beauty and the heartbreak that adoption brings. Her story is a powerful reminder that love in adoption isn’t about perfection; it’s about choosing to stay when it hurts. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode of the Parenting Different podcast, host Anna Bernacki sits down with April Ficklin, Director of Family Support Services at Flourishing Families of South Carolina. April shares her deeply personal story of adopting siblings through foster care, the unexpected challenges that came with parenting children from hard places, and the transformation that happened when she discovered trust-based relational intervention (TBRI). From sleepless nights and feeling alone to finding hope, new tools, and a supportive community, April’s journey offers practical wisdom and encouragement for adoptive parents navigating trauma, attachment, and the long game of building trust. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode, host Anna Bernacki speaks with adoptee Kristin Kirkland about the realities of adoption and identity. From uncovering long-hidden truths as a young adult, to navigating grief and ultimately finding validation through reunion, Kristin’s story highlights both the struggles and the joys of embracing one’s whole identity. This episode is an honest and encouraging resource for adoptees, adoptive parents, and anyone touched by adoption. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Host Anna Bernacki talks with adoptee and filmmaker Alexander King about adoption, identity, and the healing role of music. From being adopted from Ukraine to creating an upcoming short dance film, Alexander shares his journey of processing grief, redefining connection, and discovering belonging through art. This candid conversation offers adoptive parents insight into what it means to truly be known and wanted. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Anna Bernacki talks with Talia-Rae about growing up with adopted siblings, navigating jealousy, trauma, and “traumaversaries,” and how her family’s foster care journey shaped her perspective and empathy Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode of Parenting Different, host Anna Bernacki is joined by Raquel McCloud and Leah Outten to explore what healing looks like in adoption. Together, they share how retreats built around laughter, creativity, and community are helping adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents find space for both grief and gratitude. From discovering the freedom of play to launching The Ampersand Initiative, Raquel and Leah open up about their journeys as birth moms and the intentional ways they’re creating spaces for adoption-connected families to heal, connect, and thrive. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Episode one of the Parenting Different podcast with MaryBeth Murdock Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

Melissa Smallwood’s story is layered with resilience, heartbreak, healing, and deep commitment to children from hard places. Removed from her home as a child and placed into foster care, Melissa aged out of the system as a teen mom, never imagining that one day she would become both an adoptive parent and a trauma therapist working in child welfare. In this powerful conversation, she shares how her lived experience shaped the way she parents children with complex trauma and how her family ultimately grew to include seven children through a combination of step-parent adoption, foster care adoption, and unexpected family connections.The conversation dives into the realities many adoptive and foster parents face but rarely talk about—triggering moments when parenting mirrors your own childhood trauma, the painful decision to pursue residential treatment for a child, and the emotional toll of loving kids who are struggling deeply. Melissa offers wisdom on maintaining connection, prioritizing safety for the entire family, and showing up for children even when healing takes years.You’ll also hear practical guidance for parenting trauma-affected teens how to balance accountability with compassion, why consequences still matter, and how “scaffolding” life skills can prepare kids for adulthood when their developmental age doesn’t match their biological age. This episode is an honest, hopeful conversation for parents navigating the messy middle of trauma, healing, and unconditional love.What You’ll Learn:What it’s like to grow up in foster care and later become an adoptive parentHow trauma triggers can resurface when fostering or adopting childrenWhen residential treatment becomes necessary—and how to stay connectedWhy safety for the whole family must be the top priorityHow to parent trauma-affected teens using “scaffolding” instead of controlThe importance of relationship over rigid rules during adolescenceHow adoptive parents can support healing without taking responsibility for the outcomeJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

When racism makes headlines, transracial families feel it at home. What others may dismiss as politics often lands as something deeply personal for parents raising children of color.In this candid conversation, Julie Etter and Isaac Etter explore how racial incidents impact identity, trust, and family dynamics. They discuss the pain of community silence, the responsibility of white parents to speak up, and the challenge of preparing children for bias without defining them by it. This episode offers both practical guidance and heartfelt encouragement for families walking this road.What You’ll LearnHow racial incidents uniquely affect transracial adoptive familiesWhy silence from friends and community can feel isolatingAge-appropriate ways to talk about race at homeHow internet culture is reshaping racial awarenessThe balance between preparation and protectionWhy diverse community and racial mirrors matterJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

The foster care system feels massive. Broken. Overwhelming. And if you’re a foster or adoptive parent in the thick of it, it can feel like your voice doesn’t matter at all.In this powerful conversation, Kat Momen shares how she went from overwhelmed foster mom to grassroots advocate knocking on legislators’ doors, testifying at the state house, and fighting for children to have legal representation in court. But this isn’t a story about politics. It’s a story about courage. About choosing child safety over comfort. About learning to conflict well, document wisely, and speak up even when retaliation feels real.If you’ve ever walked into a courtroom and wondered, “When are we going to talk about the kids?” this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with practical, doable steps to advocate in your case, in your state, and in your own home. Change doesn’t happen all at once. It starts with one voice refusing to stay silent.What You’ll Learn:Why children in foster care often lack true legal advocacyHow to conflict professionally (without burning bridges)Practical steps to protect yourself through documentationHow to contact your state legislators—and what to sayThe power of showing up in court prepared and professionalHow to overcome fear of retaliation while advocating for child safetyWhy slow, steady grassroots work creates lasting changeJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

What happens when an adoptee becomes an adoptive mom?In this deeply honest conversation, Dolly Regier shares what it means to live on both sides of the adoption triad. Adopted from South Korea and raised in a multi-racial adoptive family, Dolly grew up hearing the beautiful parts of her story but not always the grief underneath it. When she felt called to adopt herself, the process unexpectedly reopened questions she had buried for years: identity, belonging, birth family, and the silent weight of loss that adoption carries.As her daughter entered the teenage years, Dolly found herself face-to-face with familiar struggles identity confusion, racial visibility in a small rural town, and the complicated tension between pride and privacy in adoption narratives. She shares what it means to guard a child’s story, to avoid oversharing, and to parent through trauma while still healing your own.The conversation turns to hope as Dolly explains how neurofeedback became a turning point for her family. After years of navigating trauma responses, therapy resistance, and parenting triggers, she discovered a brain-based tool that helped regulate not just her daughter, but the entire family system. This episode is a powerful reminder: healing is possible, and when the brain finds safety, the whole family can change.What You’ll LearnThe hidden grief many adoptees carry beneath the “chosen” narrativeWhat it’s like to adopt after being adoptedWhy protecting your child’s adoption story mattersIdentity struggles for transracial adoptees in small communitiesHow trauma shows up differently in teensWhat neurofeedback is and how it helps with trauma and regulationWhy nervous system healing works best when the whole family participatesJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Janelle Basham and host Anna move deeper into what adoption looks like over time when children grow up, technology changes everything, and honesty can no longer be delayed. Together, they explore open adoption, boundaries, and the importance of centering the child even when relationships are complicated, messy, or painful.Janelle shares why adoption is built on loss for everyone involved, birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents alike and why that loss doesn’t need to be fixed to be lived with well. This episode unpacks the dangers of secrecy, the harm of fear-based decisions, and the lifelong consequences when children are denied truth, medical history, or access to their own stories. With compassion and clarity, Janelle challenges adoptive parents to choose courage over control and connection over comfort.This conversation is an invitation to do adoption differently through honesty, humility, community, and a willingness to sit with the hard things for the sake of the child.What You’ll LearnWhy adoption is built on loss for birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parentsHow open adoption can evolve and why boundaries still matterThe harm caused by secrecy, fear, and delayed truthWhy children deserve honest, age-appropriate informationHow technology and DNA have permanently changed adoptionWhy adopted children cannot be responsible for healing adult woundsWhat it looks like to center the child, even when it’s uncomfortable👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

The holidays can bring warmth, traditions, and togetherness, but for adoptive families, they can also surface grief, trauma, sensory overload, and big emotions that don’t fit neatly into picture-perfect expectations. In this episode of Parenting Different, Anna sits down with adoptive mom Melinda Martin for an honest, compassionate conversation about what adoption and the holidays really look like behind closed doors.Melinda shares her journey from foster care to adopting a sibling set of three, and how the holidays became a season that required flexibility, grace, and a willingness to let go of “the way it’s supposed to be.” Together, they explore how trauma often shows up during celebrations, why dysregulation can spike after holiday events, and how parents can protect their children, and themselves, by prioritizing safety, connection, and nervous system regulation over performance.If the holidays feel heavy, chaotic, or disappointing this year, this episode is a reminder that you are not failing. Sometimes the most meaningful memories are made not by doing more, but by doing less and choosing your family over expectations.What You’ll LearnWhy the holidays can be especially triggering for adopted childrenHow trauma and loss surface during celebrationsLetting go of rigid traditions to meet your child’s needsWhy flexibility matters more than “perfect” holidaysHow to say no to events without guiltSupporting nervous system regulation during busy seasonsCreating connection-centered holiday memoriesJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here:👉 https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.