Undressing Intimacy

Have you ever had an amazing night of intimacy, only to wake up the next morning with completely different reactions? In this episode, Greg and Amy dissect the "Rinse and Repeat" phenomenon—where the spontaneous partner wants to immediately replicate the experience, while the responsive partner simply wants to bask in the afterglow. They explore why trying to "produce" that same magic again often kills the mood, the fine line between desire and neediness, and how to savor the connection without suffocating it with expectations 📢 SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: We are looking for a brave couple to be coached LIVE in our next community meeting! If you want to experience a breakthrough and help others by sharing your journey, please email us @ amy@langfordlifecoaching.com Join the Community: Don't miss our next gathering on Tuesday, Feb 24th, where we will connect, share, and learn together.

Are you looking for the "10 steps to perfect intimacy"? In Episode 73, Greg and Amy explain why looking for certainty and checklists often kills the very spark you are trying to create. If your sex life feels like a production or a to-do list, this episode reveals why "eroticism hates a job description" and how to shift from doing to being. In this episode, we cover: The "Checklist" Trap: Why couples crave the safety of "steps" (do A, get B) and why this mechanical approach sabotages aliveness and connection,. Simmering vs. Sizzling: We discuss the art of "Simmering"—finding a space to be physically close without an agenda—and why turning up the heat to "sizzling" too fast often backfires,. The "Rinse and Repeat" Failure: Why trying to exactly replicate a great sexual experience ("It worked last night, let's do it again!") kills the mood by turning a living moment into a routine,. Performance to Presence: How to stop trying to "produce" arousal and instead use Dr. Steven Snyder's 2-step approach: 1) Transitioning/Closing mental tabs, and 2) Letting arousal find you,. Navigating Ebbs and Flows: Learning to trust that the low points in intimacy are just part of the cycle, not a sign that your relationship is broken,. 📢 SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: We are looking for a brave couple to be coached LIVE in our next community meeting! If you want to experience a breakthrough and help others by sharing your journey, please email us @ amy@langfordlifecoaching.com Join the Community: Don't miss our next gathering on Tuesday, Feb 24th, where we will connect, share, and learn together.  

Do you find yourself fighting to win arguments rather than fighting for your relationship? In Episode 72, Greg and Amy dive deep into the difficult but necessary work of forgiveness and why holding onto resentment is a barrier to true intimacy. If you are stuck in a cycle of defensiveness or feel like you constantly need your spouse to validate you, this episode offers a roadmap out. Greg and Amy discuss: • The Trap of Validation: Greg shares his personal struggle with being a "validation seeker" and how constantly looking for credit prevents true self-reflection and growth,. • "Unjustifying" Yourself: Why the most important skill in marriage isn't proving you are right, but having the courage to "unjustify" your behavior and look at your own role in the conflict. • Honesty vs. Brutality: How to move from damaging accusations to "healing honesty"—digging a layer deeper to understand why you feel insecure or hurt rather than just listing your spouse's flaws,. • Navigating Betrayal & Pornography: Drawing on insights from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, they discuss how to look past the behavior of pornography use to understand the deeper meanings and brokenness behind it, rather than just focusing on the act itse

The kids are gone, the house is quiet... now what? In this milestone episode, Greg and Amy navigate the emotional and relational transition of becoming empty nesters. They open up about their own recent experience dropping their youngest off at college and the identity crisis that often follows. If you are wondering how to fill the void when the "domestic bucket" of parenting shrinks, this episode is for you. Greg and Amy discuss: • The Identity Shift: Moving from "Co-CEOs of the Household" back to being partners and lovers. • The Two Buckets: Why the "erotic bucket" often feels empty after years of parenting and how to refill it. • Navigating Grief: Handling the "happy grief" of children launching while managing your own feelings of loss. • Marriage 2.0: How to intentionally design the next phase of your life so you don't end up as just roommates. Plus: We are celebrating being Empty Nesters with a free giveaway! Tune in to find out how to enter our Empty Nesters Giveaway for a chance to win three free coaching sessions.

Is your sex life becoming a "to-do" list? In this special 69th episode, we are tackling the elephant in the room: sexual positions and the pressure to perform. Many couples think that introducing a specific act—like the 69 position, a new toy, or a fantasy scenario—will magically fix their connection. But often, hyper-focusing on the "act" actually kills the intimacy. Join Greg and Amy as they break down the difference between Production vs. Connection. If you are trying to "produce" an orgasm or "achieve" a position, you aren't present with your spouse. We discuss why setting sexual expectations is a trap and how to move from checking boxes to truly consuming and enjoying your partner. In this episode, we cover: The 69 Trap: Why hyper-focusing on specific positions or toys makes you lose track of your partner.  Production vs. Connection: How to stop trying to "produce" an experience and start actually experiencing it. Killing Expectations: Why measuring success by whether you hit a specific goal (like orgasm or a specific act) destroys eroticism. The "Checklist" Failure: Greg shares his personal failure of having a "checklist" of things he wanted Amy to do, and why it led to disappointment rather than connection. 🎉 SPECIAL GIVEAWAY! 🎉 To celebrate our 69th Episode, we are giving away 3 FREE Coaching Sessions! To enter: 1. Rate and Review the podcast on Apple Podcasts (or leave a comment here on YouTube if you are on Spotify/other platforms). 2. Send us an email letting us know you did it! We will announce the winner in two weeks. Resources Mentioned:  Book a Free Consult: Join our Community:  #MarriageAdvice #Intimacy #SexualPositions #RelationshipGoals #UndressingIntimacy #CouplesTherapy #BetterSex

In episode 68, we kick off the new year by reflecting on a rejuvenating holiday in Sedona, Arizona, and delve into the transformative power of rituals in marriage. Inspired by Esther Perel's work, we explore the significance of balancing the domestic and erotic aspects of life with actionable advice for creating meaningful rituals. We share personal stories, including our journey from routine to ritual in various aspects of our relationship, offering insights into how these practices foster deeper connections and intimacy. Join us in discovering ways to make 2026 the year of enriched partnerships through the power of rituals.

In this episode, we explore the intriguing connections between human and horse nervous systems, particularly the limbic brain. We discuss how calming the limbic system enhances human and horse interactions, making horse riding a more connected and intuitive experience. Reflecting on personal stories and recent articles, we delve into the significance of regulating emotions for deeper connections in marriages and intimate relationships. Join us as we share insights on calming practices, the importance of daily rituals, and how understanding the limbic brain can transform relationships.

In episode 66, we dive deep into the topic of body image issues and how they impact intimacy and self-worth. Amy, despite being under the weather, joins us as we explore the emotional and mental barriers women face about their bodies. We discuss how societal expectations and personal criticism often lead to a disconnect from the body and its pleasures. Through personal anecdotes, we share the journey of waking up to one's desires and learning to embody sensuality. We also highlight the importance of a supportive partner in this journey. Join us as we unravel the complexities of body image and intimacy, offering insights and encouragement for couples navigating similar struggles.

In episode 65, we delve into the phenomena of couples fighting more during the high-stress holiday season. We discuss the importance of physical touch and connection to replenish emotional bandwidth and reset the nervous system. Through personal anecdotes, we underscore the need for grounding moments of holding each other without any expectations. We explore the concept of being on the same team, learning to coexist with differences, and the role of non-demanding physical touch in maintaining emotional intimacy. Tune in to understand how to navigate holiday stress and fortify your intimate relationship.

In episode 64, we explore the significance of our online community and dive into a discussion about the core concept of intimacy and co-creation in relationships. Reflecting on personal experiences, we share insights about the challenges and growth related to writing, business ventures, and understanding integral values in sexuality. We also delve into the stages of adult development, the importance of integrating personal desires with our partner's needs, and share practical tools such as the Melt Stories app to create mutual fulfillment. Join us as we discuss how co-creation, honesty, and emotional safety can enhance intimacy and connection in marriage. Join Our Community

Welcome to episode 63! In this episode, we discuss the importance of balancing domestic work and erotic passion in a marriage. Reflecting on our community gatherings and personal experiences, we talk about the invisible labor and mental load often carried in relationships, especially during the holiday season. We emphasize open communication, partnership, and checking egos to create a thriving marriage. Join us as we unpack these dynamics and share tips for fostering intimacy and teamwork during challenging times.  

In episode 62, we are thrilled to welcome Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a guiding mentor in our personal and professional lives. Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses her new book, That We Might Have Joy: Desire, Divinity & Intimate Love, which beautifully explores the profound connection between sexuality and spirituality. She shares insights about the three stages of adult and sexual development and emphasizes the importance of conflict in fostering intimacy and growth within relationships. We dive deep into how couples can navigate the complexities of sexuality and spirituality to create more fulfilled and intimate lives together.

In this episode, we discuss our upcoming community gathering scheduled for November 25th and encourage listeners to join by clicking here. We share personal anecdotes about surprises and family moments, particularly focusing on a recent birthday celebration involving our children and grandchild. Additionally, we delve into the challenges of menopause, hormones, and female health, offering advice on finding the right healthcare support. Emphasizing the importance of flexibility, love, and gratitude in intimate relationships, we discuss ways to maintain intimacy and sexual health as we age. Resources such as Dr. Mary Claire Haver are recommended for further information on menopause support.

In this episode, we are thrilled to announce the launch of our new community for couples. We aim to create a monthly space where couples can come together to share their struggles, wins, and experiences face-to-face. Our first community call will be on November 25th at 7:30 PM Central time. Visit https://langfordlifecoaching.com/blog to subscribe to our weekly email and receive an Community Invite. Additionally, we share a heartwarming story of our journey with our horse, Clifford. From highs to lows, Clifford has been a source of joy and healing for us. We also delve into the importance of honesty and risk-taking in building strong, intimate relationships. Join us as we navigate through life's peaks and valleys, celebrate victories, and learn from our struggles.

In episode 59, we reflect on last week's engaging conversation with Dr. Snyder and discuss pivotal insights on authentic intimacy. We highlight the importance of foundational elements in relationships, moving beyond the need to produce arousal towards truly enjoying and consuming each other's presence. The discussion touches on personal growth, experiences of success and failure, and real-talk about sustaining erotic energy. Throughout, we emphasize the value of honest communication, the willingness to disappoint, and the vital process of cultivating trust and connection for deeper intimacy.

In episode 58, we welcome Dr. Stephen Snyder, one of America's leading authorities on sex and relationships. Dr. Snyder, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai in New York City, shares his expert insights on maintaining passion and intimacy in long-term relationships. We discuss key concepts from his book 'Love Worth Making,' including the importance of transitioning from a state of doing to awareness, the benefits of 'lazy sex,' and why passion in sex comes from a healthy kind of selfishness. Tune in as we explore how couples can foster intimacy by being present in their bodies and focusing on mutual enjoyment rather than solely on the goal of orgasm.  You can find Dr Snyder @ https://sexualityresource.com/ and don't forget to go and order his book it is highly recommended. 

In Episode 57, we tackle the tricky topic of covert expectations in marriage, sharing personal anecdotes and lessons learned. We begin with updates on a recent contest and an inspiring coaching session with the winning couple. The conversation shifts to overcoming personal anxieties—highlighted by an experience with naming and confronting fears, specifically related to dental visits. We then dive into the core topic: how covert expectations, especially around intimacy and household tasks, can lead to resentment and misunderstanding. We explore the importance of honest communication, self-reflection, and mutual respect in building a strong, intimate partnership. Join us as we share insights and practical advice to help you improve your relationship and deepen your intimacy.

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Kathleen Smith, a licensed therapist and author, to discuss her two influential books, 'Everything Isn't Terrible' and 'True to You.' Amy shares her excitement for these books, emphasizing their practicality and relatability in the realms of self-help and therapy. Dr. Smith elaborates on the importance of curiosity in managing anxiety and describes how her works provide practical tools for personal and relational development. We delve into various aspects of relationships, including marriage, family, and broader social interactions, offering insights on how to better understand and navigate them. We also explore the concepts of over-functioning and people-pleasing, discussing how to shift focus from trying to control others to taking responsibility for our own actions. This episode is packed with valuable information and tips to help you observe, understand, and improve your relationships and personal anxiety management.

Welcome to episode 54! We express our gratitude to everyone who submitted ideas for our contest and announce Suzette Moody as the winner. Following Suzette's suggestion, we delve into strategies for balancing busy lives so that sex remains a priority. We discuss the importance of re-framing meanings around sexual intimacy, creating intentional time together, and removing expectations. Emphasizing the role of personal meaning and presence, we provide actionable tips to maintain a fulfilling sexual relationship amidst life's demands. Going beyond obligations and making sexual intimacy a priority in our busy lives.

In this episode, we discuss the importance of emotional connection in marriage. We explain how emotional awareness and processing can enhance intimacy, not just sexually but overall in the relationship. We break down the basics of emotions, their physical manifestations, and steps to process them effectively. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, we emphasize the need for daily emotional check-ins to maintain a healthy, intimate connection with your spouse. Join us for an in-depth look at how emotions shape our relationships and ways to foster emotional well-being in your marriage.