The Conversation He Started

Sometimes talking about grief helps.Sometimes it just keeps you circling it.Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief, bereavement, and suicide.This episode explores the difference between processing grief and staying in it. Between naming what you feel and identifying with it. Between integrating loss and letting it define you.We talk about emotional suppression in men. Bottled-up stress. Why awareness can take away power instead of feeding it. And how grief can shift from something that traps you to something that sharpens you.Steve shares how reading and counselling changed his relationship with loss. We reflect on grief becoming praise, love honouring what it misses and what it means to adapt instead of becoming consumed.If you’ve ever wondered whether talking about your grief is helping or keeping you stuck, this conversation is for you.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

Four months after losing Mike, we started noticing something uncomfortable.We talk about grief every week.But is talking the same as processing?In this episode, we sit with that question. The point where the shock has faded, but you’re still learning how to live in a world that feels different.We explore the difference between a bad day and a grief wave.When reflection quietly becomes a loop.Why small daily habits can feel like survival.And what it actually means to live with loss instead of trying to get over it.Trigger warning: This episode contains honest discussions regarding grief, bereavement, and mental health.This isn’t a clinical conversation.It’s two men trying to work out what’s helping and what might be keeping us stuck.If this episode resonates, you’re not alone.If you’re struggling:UK Samaritans – 116 123US – 988New episodes every Wednesday.

How does grief change your identity? It doesn’t happen loudly or all at once. It happens quietly, stripping away pieces of who you used to be until you realise you’re no longer just "healing" - you’re trying to figure out who you are now.Trigger warning: This episode contains honest discussions regarding grief, bereavement, and mental health.In this week's podcast, we dive deep into identity grief and the "life audit" that follows a major loss. We explore the internal shift that happens when the roles we once held - like being a sibling or a best friend - suddenly disappear.In this episode, we discuss:- Identity after loss: Why we feel like different people after a bereavement- The Life Audit: Practical habits (walking, mindset, and health) to help process the "fog."- Reinvention vs. Distillation: Why grief doesn't "change" you, it strips you back to your core.- The Lone Sibling: Coping with the changing family roles after losing a brother or sister.- Living in the Present: How to carry a legacy forward without staying "frozen in time."This isn’t a conversation about "getting over it" or rebuilding a new you. It’s about distillation, finding clarity in what remains when everything has been stripped back.If you are struggling with your mental health after loss or wondering why you don't feel like "yourself" anymore, this conversation is for you.If you’re struggling, please reach out.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to stay with the story.

Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss.We are often told to "stay strong" and "hold it together" after a loss, but what happens when the adrenaline finally runs out?In this episode, we explore the Adrenaline Hangover - that physical and mental crash that often hits months after a tragedy. We discuss why the traditional definition of male strength often leads to burnout, and why "out-disciplining" your grief is an impossible task. From synchronised migraines to the reality of the 100-day wall, we’re breaking down why the hardest part of the journey often starts long after the funeral ends.In this conversation:• The physical toll of "performing" as if you're fine.• Why your body crashes when the initial survival mode ends.• Redefining strength as communication rather than silence.• The legacy of "Mike’s Fence" and returning to our childhood roots.If you’re struggling, please reach out.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988Listen to all episodes:https://linktr.ee/theconversationhestartedNew episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to stay with the story.

Around a hundred days in, life starts asking more of you again.More energy. More presence. More normality.And grief doesn’t get lighter to meet it.Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss.In this episode we talk about why grief can feel harder once life carries on. When the shock fades but the weight stays the same. When people check in less. When tolerance drops. When everyday moments demand more than you have to give.We talk about being a hundred days in. About the firsts you don’t prepare for. Birthdays and celebrations that feel heavier than expected. And the quiet guilt of not coping with what you think you should be able to handle by now.This episode doesn’t offer solutions.It sits in the part where life has picked back up and you’re still carrying the same thing, just with less room to carry it.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

A “good year” used to mean progress.Plans. Momentum. Moving forward.After loss, that definition changes.Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss.In this episode we talk about how grief reshapes the idea of a good year. What goals used to look like. What they look like now. The pressure to aim, improve, and achieve, and how those expectations shift after someone dies.We explore routine as an anchor rather than ambition. Looking ahead without forcing meaning. And where this leaves us as we move into a year that no longer fits the old framework.This episode isn’t about motivation or optimism.It’s about recalibrating what “good” means when survival, steadiness, and presence start to matter more than progress.If you’re questioning what a good year even looks like now, this episode is for you.If you’re struggling, please reach out.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988Listen to all episodes:https://linktr.ee/theconversationhestartedNew episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to stay with the story.

The New Year arrived, but nothing felt new.Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and loss.We talk about why the New Year feels strange after loss. When “New Year, New Me” doesn’t fit, goals feel different, and the reset everyone talks about doesn’t land.This episode names the disconnection between the calendar changing and grief staying exactly where it is.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

Everyone thought we were OK.Because we were functioning. We weren’t.Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide.This episode is about the stage of grief where life has resumed but the weight has not lifted. When support fades, messages slow down, and you start carrying everything quietly.We talk about functioning without being OK, deciding not to bring it up, and what happens to the things you start holding in.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

Christmas can amplify grief.The build up. The pressure to be OK. The empty moments nobody sees.Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicideIn this special episode we talk about what Christmas really feels like after loss. The moments that catch you off guard, the guilt when you laugh, opting out when you need to, and what genuinely helped.If this reaches you, follow the podcast so you don’t have to carry it alone.Full video on YouTube. Clips on Instagram and TikTok.

After the funeral, the messages stop and everything feels different.Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide.We talk about the first weeks after the funeral. The guilt. The silence. Trying to function. Wanting to talk and not wanting to talk. And how grief changes once the support fades and real life starts again.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

Episode 4 is about the days that followed. Eight to nine weeks into grief, when anger shows up and coping looks different for everyone.**Trigger warning: this episode discusses grief and suicide.**We talk honestly about how we’re really doing, preparing for the eulogy, counselling, music, memory, and how two people can grieve the same person in completely different ways.This is part one of the days that followed.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

Episode 3 is the day everything changed.This is the moment we found out Mike had taken his life and the hours and days that followed.Trigger warning: this episode discusses suicide and sudden loss.We talk honestly about the first twenty four hours after losing someone you love. The shock. The silence. The disbelief.Thank you for listening. New episodes every Wednesday.UK Samaritans 116 123US 988

** Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about mental health challenges, including references to suicide. These topics may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or local support hotline for help **Mike’s journey into looked steady from a distance, but privately he was carrying grief, pressure and moments that changed him. Losing another close friend. Trying to hold himself together. Slowly drifting into isolation without anyone realising how far it had gone.This episode opens up the parts people never saw:• the weight changes and bulimia he hid• the distance that grew between him and everyone else• the nights he went missing• the small signs that something was slipping• the good days that kept getting shorterThere were still flashes of who he really was. The Mike who spoke openly about mental health on local TV. The Mike who tried to pull himself back when he felt stronger. The Mike who kept going even as the difficult episodes became more frequent.This is the truth of who he was. Honest. Human. Trying his best in ways he rarely showed.Everything here leads directly to the moment everything changed in Episode 3.New episodes every Wednesday.

** Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about mental health challenges, including references to suicide. These topics may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or local support hotline for help **Episode 1 is us going back to who Mike was when we were kids.The stupid stuff, the daft confidence, the things he did that still make us laugh now.This isn’t a story about “signs” or warnings. It’s just the truth of what he was like back then — the small memories you only have of someone you grew up with.Before everything got heavy.Before any of us understood what he was carrying.This is Mike as a boy.For Mike.

Two men talking honestly about the friend they lost.This podcast was born from grief, love, and the conversations we wish we’d had sooner.In this trailer, Ryan and Steve share why they’re doing this, who Mike really was, and why starting this conversation now matters.This is where the story begins.For Mike.

Two men talking honestly about the friend they lost.This podcast was born from grief, love, and the conversations we wish we’d had sooner.In this trailer, Ryan and Steve share why they’re doing this, who Mike really was, and why starting this conversation now matters.This is where the story begins.For Mike.