Practicing Love: Have the Best Love and Sex of Your Life After 40

Why do so many relationships feel frustrating, confusing, or disappointing, even when there's real love?  What if the biggest source of conflict in your relationship isn't your partner, but your expectations of them? In this episode, I talk with psychologist and author of Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. We explore how quickly we create stories about who our partner should be, and how those expectations erode connection, create resentment, and leave both people feeling like they're failing. You'll hear why your partner may feel like an "alien" at times, and how differences in wiring, nervous systems, and past experiences shape the way we love, communicate, and respond in conflict. This conversation also unpacks what actually creates win-wins in relationships, and why trying to "fix" your partner, or get them to change, often backfires. In this episode, we explore: How expectations get out of alignment with reality (and what that costs your relationship) The hidden fear of "not being enough" that increases conflict  Why your partner's strengths are often also their blind spots How to work with differences in personality, pace, and nervous systems What to do when your partner shuts down, pulls away, or seems unresponsive How to create connection without pressure, demands, or ultimatums Why people get defensive and how to stop unintentionally making things worse A more effective way to repair and create real understanding If you've ever thought, "If they loved me, they would…" this episode will challenge that assumption in a way that opens the door to more connection, compassion, and possibility.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: X6DOTPWFPO5ZGZDX

In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with tech modern mystic Renée Blodgett, about where science and spirituality meet in love and relationship. We explore real-life relationship dynamics, like how awareness, vulnerability, and presence directly impact and deepen intimacy, from Renee's spiritual perspectives. We talk about what's beyond traditional conditioning around love and sex, how overdoing and constant striving can create distance in a relationship, and what it takes to shift into deeper connection. We also explore masculine and feminine dynamics, the importance of communication, and simple practices that help partners reconnect. In this episode, we cover: Why we can't be truly intimate until we're willing to be vulnerable How over-functioning and constant doing create distance in love What shifts when we move from reacting to responding in relationship How to create intentional time for deeper connection Simple practices to deepen intimacy and feel more in sync with your partner What to do with past wounds and shadow patterns that show up in relationships This is a powerful conversation about love, consciousness, and how to create deeper intimacy without forcing, fixing, or overworking in your relationship. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: 15Q3WZOTKSNA4MJM

Most men want to please the women they love. But many don't understand what actually helps a woman open, relax, and experience truly satisfying sex. In this episode, I talk with Certified Sexologist Kevin Anthony, host of the Love Lab Podcast, about what men often miss about what women need to make sex great for them. For many women, great sex doesn't start in the bedroom. It begins with safety, trust, connection, and presence. When a woman feels emotionally safe and deeply connected, her body can relax and open to pleasure. Without that foundation, sex can feel tense, pressured, or disconnected — even when both partners have good intentions. Kevin and I explore: • Why safety and trust are essential for women's sexual pleasure • How connection starts long before the bedroom • The role of emotional intelligence in great sex • How presence creates much better sex than performance • The physical things many men misunderstand about foreplay • Why women's arousal is more fluid and responsive than many men realize • How you can create more harmony, connection, and passion This conversation will give you powerful new perspectives to create deeper intimacy, better sex, and a more connected relationship.    Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!       Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

What if calling in "the one" who is a soul-aligned partner isn't about doing more, but about coming home to who you truly are? In this episode, Shana James sits down with Self-Love & Relationship Coach Risa Gaull, who reminds us of a powerful truth: you are the love you seek. If you've read Calling in "The One" by Kathryn Woodward Thomas and wondered how to truly become and attract a soul-aligned partner, this episode is for you. Risa Gaull, who is a certified coach for Kathryn's program, joins me to explore how self-love, healing your wounds, and shifting your identity, help you call in conscious, commitment-ready love. We explore what it actually takes to call in a soul-aligned partner, not through manifestation tricks or self-improvement, but through deep self-alignment, emotional responsibility, and healing the wounded parts of ourselves that learned love had to be earned. Risa shares how to recognize when you're relating from your wounded self versus your true self, including the subtle body, emotional, and thought-based signals that reveal whether you're in alignment or operating from old survival stories. She also offers compassionate practices for reconnecting with your inner truth, without trying to fix or bypass your pain. This conversation is an invitation to stop outsourcing your well-being, stop making partners your source, and start relating from wholeness — where real intimacy and soul-aligned love can grow. In this episode, you'll learn: Why self-alignment is the foundation of soul-aligned partnership The three signs you're relating from your wounded self (and how to come back) How to meet anxious or insecure parts with compassion instead of judgment Why your partner is not your source of validation, and how that creates healthier relationships What changes when you stop needing someone else to be different for you to feel good Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: FTDWN40V3UIZ5PJL

Money can feel even more vulnerable than sex. In this episode of Practicing Love, I sit down with money coach and Gentle Money author Adam Koren to explore why finances carry so much emotional weight — and why so many couples struggle to talk about them without tension, shame, or defensiveness. Most of us were never actually taught how to manage money in a grounded, relational way. And yet we often carry deep shame if we believe we're "bad" at it. That shame keeps conversations surface-level, creates distance in partnership, and quietly erodes trust. Money isn't just about numbers. It's about safety, power, freedom, identity, and worth. Together, Adam and I explore how family history shapes financial patterns, why restrictive budgeting often backfires, and how approaching money with gentleness instead of fear can increase both emotional and financial intimacy. We also talk about practical ways couples can create regular money conversations that build connection instead of conflict. If you want more peace — not just in your bank account, but in your relationship — this conversation will open new doors.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: HDF76SDCD7O26RO5

Menopause isn't just a women's issue. It's creates a relationship struggle for both partners. And for many couples, it's the moment things fall apart. In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Most men enter relationships with what Mark calls "Prince tools." They try to fix, perform, or avoid conflict. But menopause often brings emotional intensity, physical changes, and deeper truths to the surface. The old tools stop working. When this isn't seen as a problem to solve, it's an invitation to grow. In this episode explore: • Why so many couples struggle or separate during menopause and andropause • The difference between "Prince" and "King" energy • How to stop shutting down or taking things personally • The biggest mistakes men make during this stage • How midlife becomes a rite of passage into emotional maturity • What real intimacy is, beyond just sex • How vulnerability becomes strength, not weakness If you love a woman in midlife — or you're moving through this season yourself — this conversation will help you show up with steadiness, heart, and depth. Because menopause doesn't have to be the end of intimacy. It can be the beginning of the most honest and connected love of your life.   In this episode of Practicing Love, I talk with men's guide Mark J. Platten about why relationships during menopause and midlife feel so challenging, and what men are rarely taught about how to show up. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC

What happens when desire fades, sex feels effortful, or intimacy keeps getting interrupted by resentment, pressure, or exhaustion? In this episode of Practicing Love, I'm joined by Elana Auerbach, author of The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark, for a refreshing and deeply human conversation about desire differences, sensual connection, and what actually helps when intimacy takes a back seat. Rather than pushing through, fixing, or forcing desire, Elana offers a radically different orientation: pleasure as a practice of presence, intention, and safety. We explore: Why desire often disappears in long-term relationships, even when love is strong How resentment, withholding, and "trying to get it right" block sensual connection A new definition of orgasm as how much you can surrender to pleasure Why Responsive Desire needs context, safety, and curiosity to arise What to do when intimacy gets interrupted, and why nothing is lost when you pause How short, intentional pleasure practices (even 10 minutes) can rebuild closeness Learning to know what you want, and how to ask for it without pressure How devotion, play, and self-attunement can reignite the spark over time This conversation is for anyone who wants more aliveness, more connection, and more honesty around pleasure, whether you're partnered, single, or somewhere in between. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CHROXRSGACRHE8NP

Reclaiming eros can impact every area of your life!  In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James is joined by Erotic Wholeness Guide Darshana Avila, whose work has been featured on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and more. Together, they explore an expanded understanding of eroticism — not as performance or sexuality alone, but as the life force energy of Eros that supports your creativity, intimacy, passion, and aliveness. Darshana invites us to rethink everything we've been taught about erotic energy, showing how cultural conditioning, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and nervous system dysregulation often suppress our erotic vitality — leaving us exhausted, and disconnected from our authenticity and from one another. This conversation weaves together somatic wisdom, relational insights, and deep compassion as Shana and Darshana explore how reclaiming erotic wholeness creates safety, presence, and intimacy in sex and intimacy, as well as every area of life. In this episode, you'll explore: What erotic wholeness (beyond sex) actually means  How erotic energy fuels creativity, connection, and vitality Why many people feel disconnected from desire and aliveness The role of nervous system regulation in intimacy and pleasure How people-pleasing and perfectionism suppress erotic expression Why integrating grief, shame, and protective strategies is part of erotic healing How safety and relaxation allow erotic energy to flow naturally This episode is an invitation to let go of pressure, performance and shame and find more of yourself -- your body, truth, and the full spectrum of your aliveness. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

A Conversation on Real Connection & Ecstatic Intimacy What do we actually long for in love? In this episode, Shana James is joined by Joanna Shakti, founder and facilitator of Ecstatic Intimacy, for a rich conversation about authentic connection, emotional depth, and intimacy that doesn't require shrinking, over-giving, or shape-shifting to be loved. Joanna introduces the concept of ecstatic authenticity — the shift from hiding parts of ourselves to keep the peace, to honoring who we truly are in relationship and lovemaking. From this place of authenticity, deeper emotional intimacy, trust, and soul-level connection become possible — and passion becomes grounded in honesty, support, and delight. Together, Shana and Joanna also explore masculine and feminine energy not as rigid roles, but as living polarities (like yin and yang) that can create greater attraction, freedom, and aliveness in conscious relationships. In this episode, we explore: Why authenticity is the gateway to deeper intimacy What it really means to feel fully seen, understood, and "gotten" in love How conscious conflict can become communion instead of disconnection A more liberating approach to masculine and feminine dynamics in intimacy The conscious path from authenticity → intimacy → ecstasy If you're longing for a relationship where you can be fully yourself — and experience passion, devotion, and real connection — this conversation is for you. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: OHMHFXBSHHFV307Z

On today's Practicing Love podcast, Shana James is joined by divorce coach and NLP practitioner Rachael Sloan for a powerful conversation about how relationships break down — and how they can be repaired before it's too late. Rachael works primarily with men navigating separation and divorce and is the creator of the Better Beyond Divorce program. Together, Shana and Rachael explore emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, survival responses, and the unconscious patterns that couples bring into relationships. This episode is for anyone who wants to communicate more effectively, stay connected during conflict, and build a relationship that can weather hard moments with greater compassion and clarity. It's a hopeful conversation about staying in love longer, even when things get hard, and how to stop the downward spirals that couples get stuck in.   Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: 3XO0LDATK42BXEXU

Why does connection and communication break down in long-term relationships, even when love is still there? In this episode of Practicing Love, Shana James and Hannah Chapman explore the hidden dynamics that cause couples to talk past each other, shut down, or feel chronically misunderstood. Drawing from vulnerable relationship experiences and decades of coaching, this conversation illuminates how defensive communication forms, what matters more than "being right," and how to rebuild connection over time. You'll learn: Why long-term couples often repeat the same painful communication cycles The difference between defensive communication and open, connected dialogue How curiosity and nervous-system safety change dynamics What it really takes to rebuild emotional intimacy and trust How partners feel seen, heard, and met again Whether you're feeling disconnected, stuck in recurring arguments, or longing for deeper closeness, this episode offers practical insight and hope for creating a relationship where communication becomes a source of connection, not conflict. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E

Dating feels brutal for so many relationship-ready singles, especially over 40. In this episode, Shana James talks with Adam Cohen Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, about how AI is reshaping modern matchmaking and how AI makes it easier for people to date and find real, emotionally available love. They explore dating burnout, why the apps are failing people, the power of intentional dating, and how AI can even support deeper human connection. A must-listen for those who want to stop unconsciously swiping and start consciously dating and creating meaningful relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: IHVPCN3F5C1BO2Q0

Passion doesn't fade because "that's just what happens." Passion fades because couples are missing a few essential skills. When you learn them, you can create spark and reignite it in long term relationships. In today's video, I break down some deeper reasons passion fades in long-term relationships and marriages, based on 20 years as a dating and relationship coach and the teachings from my book Honest Sex.

How do you have a relationship that feels peaceful and loving, rather than feeling like a rollercoaster? In all phases, from dating to long term relationships, this is something clients tell me they want most. Therapist and author Jessica Baum joins me to explore why safety is essential for real love, and what the foundations of a healthy relationship are. We dive deep into attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and the biology of trust, exploring how early attachment wounds shape your adult dynamics, and usually not for the better. You'll learn what healing requires, and how to create the secure, loving bond you've always longed for, but were never taught how. We talk about how to heal, and even bypass, the struggles most people face in love and relationships. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: CNP489SMTIUXHOMC

We explore what happens when being "the one who saves" starts costing you connection with yourself and others. Brent Perkins joins me to unpack how overgiving and self-abandonment can masquerade as love, and what it really takes to move from trying to be the hero to letting yourself be human. You'll learn to give without depletion, create agreements instead of expectations, and practice the art of receiving love as fully as you give it. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

Trust can break in small ways, or shatter completely. Craig and Michelle Pera, founders of The Mindful Habit, join us to talk about how they help couples navigate trust challenges — from minor breaches to sex and porn addiction. Drawing on their professional experience, and own healing journey, they give you practical tools to rebuild trust, deepen connection, and restore intimacy in your relationship. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: ELRUV6G8JHUP8JAW

If you want to feel more loved and respected in your relationships, this episode is for you. Shana talks with Karen McMahon, founder of Journey Beyond Divorce about how claiming your self-worth and setting healthy boundaries can transform your love life. The more you stand in your truth, protect your heart, and create deeper, more fulfilling connections Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: WGWRQANBJDWAVVM6

Most of us never got the "emotional potty training" we needed as kids. Instead, we learned to hide, suppress, or ignore our feelings, which often wreaks havoc in our adult love lives. In this Practicing Love episode, I talk with therapist Rachel Kaplan, author of Feel, Heal, and Let That Sh*t Go, about why learning to feel our emotions is the missing key to deeper intimacy, resilience, healing, and keeping a relationship alive. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!     Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: X6DOTPWFPO5ZGZDX

If you think shared values are the key to making a relationship last, think again. Shana James talks with Nick Brancato, author of Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test, about why relationships fall apart despite shared values. We discuss the real keys to lasting love and intimacy. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: 3XO0LDATK42BXEXU

If you've ever found yourself replaying childhood wounds in your romantic relationships, this episode explores how parent-child dynamics often show up in love. And how you can break the cycle and create a relationship rooted in wholeness, sovereignty, and joy. We look at the path from codependency to conscious connection — and what it takes to truly heal the mother and father wounds. Find out how to have the best love and sex of your life!   Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burbleLicense code: JYEBEACXSYUOYD5E