Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow

Season 5, Episode 712:  What happens when creativity becomes both escape and healing? Dean Robert Holmes, a transmasculine author from St. Paul, Minnesota, uses writing to manage schizoaffective disorder and explore identity through fiction. Since 2020, he's written over 350 fanfics and 2.5 million words (that's equivalent to five copies of Stephen King's "It") before publishing his collection "Unlocked: Seven Titillating Tales of Gay Trans Love and Lust." Dean identifies as aegosexual, experiencing attraction only through third-person perspectives, and thrives in a relationship with his fiancée May through roleplay where he never portrays himself. In this conversation, Dean dives into his writing processes as a pantser who daydreams his way through stories. They discuss maladaptive daydreaming as a coping mechanism, the challenges of balancing creativity with social media, and how indie publishing has shattered traditional word count constraints (finally!). Both Dean and Ruan share experiences of losing mothers to suicide, which fuels an urgency in their writing careers. Dean's upcoming May release, "Treading Water," features a gender-fluid bi man and a plus-size woman with chronic pain navigating romance amid poverty and trauma. The book tackles serious themes while celebrating connection and joy, representation that's desperately needed in romance literature. Tune in to hear Dean read an excerpt from "Treading Water", his upcoming novel, and learn how writing serves as healing for both author and reader. Excerpt triggers: poverty, homelessness, explicit scene and language, chronic pain, body image issues, panic attacks, and mention of religion. Author Bio: Dean Robert Holmes (he/him) is an aegosexual, transmasculine author and artist who uses creativity to manage schizoaffective disorder. Like many alphabet porn purveyors, he got his start in the wonderful world of fan fiction. Through his saucy stories, he often explores psychological themes and the power of queer love. As someone who is autistic, fat, and disabled, he makes a point to represent those communities and possesses a strong belief in the healing potential of kink. After writing over 350 fan fics, including almost 200 requests and a feature on the celebrated podcast Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend, he recently self-published his first collection of short stories, "Unlocked: Seven Titillating Tales of Gay Trans Love and Lust," which is available at four bookstores throughout the Midwest. His debut novel, "Treading Water" will be released soon. Currently, he lives on stolen Dakota/Anishinaabe land, also known as St. Paul, MN, and enjoys spending time with his lovely partner, Mae.   https://deanrobertholmes.com/ https://www.instagram.com/fandomtransmandom/   Dean Robert Holmes's Book: Unlocked: Seven Titillating Tales of Gay Trans Love and Lust (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3LKtFxZ   Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links and books: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Season 5, Episode 711: Treading Water Spicy and Caring Sex Scene Excerpt written and narrated by Dean Robert Holmes. The characters are Susie and Westie. This is an excerpt from Dean Robert Holmes's upcoming book "Treading Water". Triggers with this excerpt include poverty, homelessness, explicit sex scene and language, chronic pain, body image issues, panic attacks, and mention of religion. Author Bio: Dean Robert Holmes (he/him) is an aegosexual, transmasculine author and artist who uses creativity to manage schizoaffective disorder. Like many alphabet porn purveyors, he got his start in the wonderful world of fan fiction. Through his saucy stories, he often explores psychological themes and the power of queer love. As someone who is autistic, fat, and disabled, he makes a point to represent those communities and possesses a strong belief in the healing potential of kink. After writing over 350 fan fics, including almost 200 requests and a feature on the celebrated podcast Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend, he recently self-published his first collection of short stories, "Unlocked: Seven Titillating Tales of Gay Trans Love and Lust," which is available at four bookstores throughout the Midwest. His debut novel, "Treading Water" will be released soon. Currently, he lives on stolen Dakota/Anishinaabe land, also known as St. Paul, MN, and enjoys spending time with his lovely partner, Mae.   https://deanrobertholmes.com/ https://www.instagram.com/fandomtransmandom/   Dean Robert Holmes's Book: Unlocked (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3LKtFxZ   Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links and books: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

When was the last time you truly prioritized your own pleasure? For over two decades, Dr. Stacy Friedman has been helping women understand what many were never taught: basic knowledge about their own bodies. With 26 years in medical practice and 20 years specializing in sexuality, she's witnessed how inadequate sex education and cultural shame leave women disconnected from their anatomy (even something as fundamental as the body organ called the clitoris). The conversation reveals a surprising statistic, only a small percentage of women achieve orgasm through penetration alone, yet this misconception persists. Dr. Friedman shares her personal transformation from ignorance about her own anatomy to owning an extensive collection of high-quality sex toys, emphasizing that modern toys have become empowering tools rather than sources of shame. Fact: The clitoris contains over 10,400 nerve endings, double that of the penis, underscoring women's significant sexual potential when they explore without limitation. After experiencing painful sex for six years following childbirth, Dr. Friedman found her purpose: helping others redefine intimacy beyond traditional intercourse. She recently launched The Purple Passion Project podcast and previously authored "Confessions and Lessons of a Sexpert." Affiliate link to the book Paperback  https://drstacyfriedman.com/ Listen to discover how prioritizing pleasure can transform your relationship and break generational cycles of shame and lack of female pleasure with sex. Bio: Dr. Stacy Friedman is a Clinical Sexologist, certified sex & intimacy coach, and the unapologetically bold host of The Purple Passion Project. With 26+ years in the medical field and 20+ years working in the sexuality field, Dr. Stacy helps people break down taboos, communicate clearly, and build hotter, healthier intimacy—without shame. She works with all aspects of sexuality but specializes in mismatched sex drives, alternative lifestyles, women who experience painful sex, low libido, and the LGBTQ community. Known for blending expertise with humor and heart, Dr. Stacy makes conversations about sex feel safe, real, and seriously empowering. Her motto: "My passion is to help you create yours." Because at the end of the day, you deserve connection that's honest, exciting, and hot as hell. Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links and books: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow Key Takeaways: • **The clitoris contains over 10,000 nerve endings** – far more sensory receptors than commonly understood. Direct clitoral stimulation is essential for most women's pleasure rather than penetration alone. • **Most women don't orgasm through penetration alone** – challenging the widespread myth that vaginal intercourse is the primary or sufficient path to female orgasm, revealing a fundamental gap in sexual education and cultural bias. • **Sex toys are normalized tools for exploration, not replacements** – reframing vibrators and similar devices as legitimate aids for self-discovery and pleasure, equivalent to using any other tool, rather than signs of relationship inadequacy or dysfunction.

Season 5, Episode 709: Excerpt from Rejecting Queendom, a spicy Romantasy now in ebook, paperback, and audiobook. Rejecting Queendom Book Blurb:  A love too good. Power and intrigue can't fill a void in any heart but set it searching for something more. Gabriella and Nocter fell in love as most do, but the difference was theirs bloomed in the sea. Their world was surrounded by the magical realm of the ocean, so their hearts were easily lulled into pristine moments that promised to be shining collections of the most amazing golden memories. They couldn't get enough of each other, nor could they steal enough moments to be satiated. Nothing could separate them, nothing but what did. When things seemed too good to be true, the truth shattered their hunger for love and splintered it into a billion cells of heartache that not even the vastness of the sea could hold. Tropes & Triggers: - explicit language and spicy scenes - daring to love - their kingdom at risk - sudden royalty -kinky king - an impossible choice -shrinking woman -kidnapping -betrayal Rejecting Queendom is an HEA Open Door Romantasy, where the romance is first and foremost. Plus, bonus story replay Presenting Myself. Affiliate offers:  Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links and books: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Season 5, Episode 708: "Why are men so sexy in gray sweatpants?" she asked. (from the excerpt at the end of the episode from the book "Me + You" by Mallory Glass, coming soon! Narrated by Ruan Wilow.) What happens when an old friend's challenge sparks a secret writing career that garners thousands of views overnight? Mallory Glass found out! Twin Cities romance author Mallory Glass didn't expect her foray into sensual fiction to take off so quickly. After initially writing in secret, she published a 75,000-word story on Literotica that consistently earned ratings around 4.7 to 4.8 stars. Her debut novella "Stone Heart" and award-winning flash rom-com showcase her commitment to portraying positive communication and consent in romance, deliberately avoiding the tired miscommunication trope common in the genre, plus adding in humor. Beyond the page, Mallory shares her home with a surprisingly hostile New Zealand rabbit that roams freely while she works. (The rabbit's personality definitely keeps things interesting.) After medically retiring in 2015, she returned to writing as therapeutic practice, discovering an unexpected passion for revision and editing.  Through her work and upcoming micro press Sloth and Envy, Mallory champions sex positivity and bodily autonomy, transforming once-taboo vocabulary into celebrations of consensual human experience. She believes authenticity and fun should coexist in storytelling, and her writing reflects exactly that philosophy. Listen to hear more about writing sensual fiction without shame. Mallory Glass enjoys creating worlds within worlds for her characters to explore. She writes for those who love to embrace a temporary escape from reality. When she's not engaged in vicarious angst over the antics of fictional characters, she digests too much media and suffers the antics of her hostile pet rabbit. Her debut novella, Stone Heart, was released March 2025 from Sloth & Envy Press. Mallory's flash rom-com recently won first place in Writing Battle's professionally judged Heart contest. In October 2025, her short story "Wade vs. Roe" was published in Dread Mondays, a workplace horror anthology from Whisper House Press. Mallory's college romance, Me + You, will be released in spring 2026. She live in the Twin Cities, MN. Find her on Bluesky as @mglaz.bsky.social or email mglass@slothandenvy.com Get Mallory's book Stone Heart (affiliate link) Stone Heart Coming soon to preorder Me + You (book this episode's excerpt is from) Stone and Flame in preorder Preorder Stone & Flame Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Season 5, Episode 707: Romance Book, Fiction Excerpt with an Older Woman and Virgin Younger Man, First Time Scene from the Book Me and You by Mallory Glass, narrated by podcast host and narrator Ruan Willow.  In this scene, the two MCs run into each other in the library on a Saturday night and adjourn to a basement office where they've been fooling around together for the past few weeks. They had planned to have sex for the first time earlier that week but were interrupted. That was followed by tension between the MMC crossed the boundary they had set on the limits of their relationship by inviting her to his apartment. This scene ends up being more spontaneous and unexpected for both of them. Because it's intended to be the MMC's first time, we are in his POV. About the author Mallory Glass: Come back for the author interview episode! Mallory Glass enjoys creating worlds within worlds for her characters to explore. She writes for those who love to embrace a temporary escape from reality. When she's not engaged in vicarious angst over the antics of fictional characters, she digests too much media and suffers the antics of her hostile pet rabbit. Her debut novella, Stone Heart, was released March 2025 from Sloth & Envy Press. Mallory's flash rom-com recently won first place in Writing Battle's professionally judged Heart contest. In October 2025, her short story "Wade vs. Roe" was published in Dread Mondays, a workplace horror anthology from Whisper House Press. Mallory's college romance, Me + You, will be released in spring 2026. She live in the Twin Cities, MN. Find her on Bluesky as @mglaz.bsky.social or email mglass@slothandenvy.com Get Mallory's book Stone Heart (affiliate link) Stone Heart Coming soon to preorder Me + You (book this episode's excerpt is from) Stone and Flame in preorder Preorder Stone & Flame Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Season 5, Episode 706: When Cozy Dubois started writing fiction in 2022, it wasn't about chasing publishing deals or awards. This queer, trans, and neurodivergent author from Minneapolis simply wanted connection during pandemic isolation, and what emerged was something far more powerful: the Confession series, an ensemble romance celebrating chosen family and authentic queer experiences. Here's what makes Cozy's approach refreshing. They write across the entire spice spectrum, from closed-door romance to books with up to ten intimate scenes, but always with consent and emotional connection at the core (because that's what really matters). Their upcoming 2027 character Esmer, a non-binary queer sex toy designer with OCD, exemplifies their commitment to representing diverse experiences without shame or stereotype. Cozy approaches storytelling with precision, outlining the entire book series before writing a single word. They batch their drafting, writing three thousand words daily for weeks, then spend considerably more time editing. They emphasize that writing advice is highly individual, and what works for their neurodivergent brain might not work for yours. Writers are all different. Their Confession books feature vibrant purple branding, and prove that love doesn't cure trauma, it simply walks alongside healing. Characters continue evolving beyond their happy endings through friendship and community support. Find Cozy's books on Amazon, Kobo Plus, and indie bookstores, or grab signed copies through Scribbles Bookshop. Enjoy an excerpt from the book "Tempting Tara", written by Cozy DuBois, narrated by podcast host Ruan Willow. Tempting Tara (affiliate link) Get the book Connect with Cozy DuBois http://cozydubois.com/ Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Season 5, Episode 705: Enjoy an excerpt from the book "Tempting Tara", written by Cozy DuBois, narrated by podcast host Ruan Willow, then come back and watch the full interview episode featuring Cozy DuBois! Tempting Tara (affiliate link) Get the book Book Blurb published online:  With a former fling now a cherished friendship, Tara secretly longs for more. But is desire enough to bridge two damaged souls? Tara Sanderson is determined to be a good friend when Lee and Antonio's upcoming wedding means countless hours in close company with Gabe Cooper, the best man and her secret ex-flame. Armed with her many rules and meager emotional resilience, she hides her feelings to protect herself. Friendship is more than enough; the man who unknowingly broke her heart has become a beloved friend. After years of therapy and seclusion to recover from a string of abusive relationships, Gabe feels whole enough to love again. His obsessive infatuation with the stranger who stole his shattered heart has healed into manageable yearning for the Tara he's come to know. Instead of pining after yet another person who will never love him back—or worse, pursuing her and losing their friendship—he reluctantly agrees to the blind dates his mom sets up for him. Tara's self-control slips after learning he's looking for love with anyone but her, revealing she's not as content to be "just friends" as she pretends. Ever the hopeless romantic, Gabe tries to show Tara how good they could be together. Tara must break all her rules to accept the happiness she longs for, but her habit of running from her feelings may be more than Gabe's still-fragile heart can bear. Connect with author Cozy DuBois Cozy Dubois (they/them) thought writing fiction was a long-lost hobby. A longtime lover of romance novels, Cozy has renewed their love for writing by telling stories for and about LGBTQ+ people. They hope to bring more books into the world that represent the complex and entangled relationships between friends, lovers, and chosen family found in the queer community they love.  Based in Minneapolis, they enjoy life with their partner, two hound dogs, a regal queen of a cat, dozens of houseplants, and a garden that has seen better days. Find them with a beverage in hand on a patio anytime the temp is above freezing or planning their next vacation when it's not.  

A full amazing year of fantastic incredible interviews and people! Thank you so much to all my fabulous amazing guests all year long and thanks to all of you wonderful stellar outstanding lovely listeners, too! We had a great year! Time to celebrate! Happy New Year and cheers to another amazing year of interviews on the podcast!  This is a collection of all the images for the guest episodes, so if you only hear music, go to an app that has the video to see all the images like Apple podcasts or Spotify https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/tOmLhGVdvZb Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow

Season 5, Episode 703: Dive into an exhilarating conversation with the multi-talented Reagan Foxx, an award-nominated actress and passionate advocate for mental health in the adult industry. In this episode, we explore Reagan's journey from a shy individual to a celebrated performer, discussing her impressive nominations for Best Actress and her role as an ambassador for Pineapple Support, an organization dedicated to providing mental health resources for adult performers. Reagan shares her experiences navigating the complexities of the adult film industry, including the challenges of being shadow banned and the importance of authenticity in her performances. We delve into her thoughts on ageism in the industry, her personal growth, and how she balances her career with her role as a mother. With candid discussions about the stigma surrounding sexuality and the role of sex toys in personal empowerment, this episode is packed with insight and inspiration. Join us as we celebrate Reagan's achievements, her passion for acting, and her commitment to supporting fellow performers. This is a conversation you won't want to miss! Highlights:  You're the fourth performer to ever get two best actress nominations The award season for both XMA and AVN starts in January How did you get into camming? Was it a surprise to you Started at such a later age You want that genuine feel when you're acting, right What are your favorite scenes to film? You know, it's kind of interesting Do you feel like you putting your content out there is a challenge You are an ambassador for Pineapple Support, an anti-suicide and mental health organization X Biz Business Executive Award Is there anything you've done that you kind of regret? Do you enjoy doing the scenes or does it feel more like work? So are you a sex toy fan and do you have a favorite? People who are disabled can use sex toys, right? Yes. People, no people, should not feel ashamed of buying them, they are simply tools Do you have anything coming up beyond the awards season? Do you find where you have to work a ton or you can be selective? Do you feel like you've got a good base of content? Do you do a workout plan to keep yourself the way you want to be? What are some hobbies that you have that people may not know? We've just had a cold snap here. Yeah, it's cold. So we like, we're below zero... Do you have anything fun you do for Christmas that you'd like to share? Do you get recognized a lot when you're out and about? Where can people find you if they want to find your content? Instagram Reaganfoxx, on X The Reagan Foxx? Are you going to completely be done doing this and retire? Key takeaways: • Reagan entered adult entertainment through camming after her family's appraisal business collapsed during the 2008 housing crisis—a career pivot driven by economic necessity rather than long-term ambition. • She intentionally avoids rewatching her own performances to preserve authenticity in acting and maintain psychological distance from her work. • Social media platforms selectively censor sexual education content from adult performers and other educators while permitting other provocative material in ads for businesses, creating inconsistent standards that Reagan and Ruan both view as highly hypocritical, biased, and unfair, and violating the First Amendment right to free speech in the US. Other Holiday Erotic Fiction Stories: Holiday Smut: Santa Gives 12 Orgasms of Christmas The Smutty Little Holiday Audiobook Smutty Spicy Holiday Stories Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link, collect your body's health and sexual health info with a wearable device for men from Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Thanks for listening!

Season 5, Episode 702: Two Hot Santa Stories, An Excerpt from Santa Gives An Erotic Gift (get the full story on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/posts/naughty-santa-75274414  and Unwrap Me (The Full Story is in the episode). Santa Gives An Erotic Gift:  Join a woman, let's call her Mrs. Claus, on a sensual erotic journey in this sexy story where her lover dresses up as Santa. He intends to give her what she's always wanted because she's been a good girl. She's waiting for her lover to return home for their annual Santa-spanking intimate holiday date. He instructs her to dress up in Mrs.Claus lingerie and put on a blindfold. She is to sit on the couch to wait for her sexy surprise. She's so horny and excited that she can hardly contain herself. Her holiday joy explodes when she realizes the erotic gift her lover has gifted her; she gets just what she wants for Christmas. The story is told in first person from the woman's perspective in mostly internal monologue style. Unwrap me by the tree: A fun loving spicy Christmas tale of an at home HOT date where she gets unwrapped by the tree, and she's wearing the paper! Told in 2nd person. Other Holiday Erotic Fiction Stories: Holiday Smut: Santa Gives 12 Orgasms of Christmas The Smutty Little Holiday Audiobook Smutty Spicy Holiday Stories Ruan's Links, Newsletter Signup, Affiliate links and Deals:  PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Thanks for listening!

Season 5, Episode 701: Topics include Relationships, Confessions, Personal story, sexuality and intimacy. Guest: Gallo Chingon  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gallo.s.chingon/ Reddit https://www.reddit.com/user/gallo-s-chingon/ Have you ever wondered where the line falls between enjoying sex and using it as an escape? Gallo Chingon sat through Celebrate Recovery meetings out of boredom, supporting a friend, when someone else's addiction story struck him with unexpected force. By mentally replacing "drugs" with "sex" in the speaker's words, he suddenly recognized his own patterns—nineteen out of twenty behaviors driven purely by pursuit. For nearly twenty years, he'd measured his masculinity by numbers, treating women disposably and manipulating without remorse (behavior that eventually contributed to homelessness). When his ex-wife revealed his betrayals to their daughter at age twelve, it severed their relationship for over twenty years. Through therapy and programs like Celebrate Recovery, Gallo learned the crucial distinction between sex and intimacy. "They're fundamentally different experiences," he explains. While he now maintains a polyamorous relationship and works actively with therapists to build emotional connection, he still struggles to link physical intimacy with genuine feelings. His damaged dopamine and oxytocin systems leave him emotionally numb during sex, even as he pursues healthier long-term partnerships. By understanding the difference between using sex as stress relief and creating meaningful connection, it transformed everything. Listen how recognizing addiction patterns can open pathways to genuine intimacy and personal growth. Key Takeaways: • **Sex addiction operates identically to substance addiction, though are not the same because no substance is involved** — Gallo's compulsive sexual behavior triggered the same dopamine-seeking cycle as drugs, revealing that behavioral addictions can be neurologically equivalent to chemical dependencies rather than mere moral failings. • **Chronic sexual compulsion creates emotional numbness** — Rather than seeking pleasure, his addictive patterns actually dulled his capacity to feel, making genuine intimacy impossible and trapping him in a paradoxical cycle where more sexual activity meant less actual sensation. • **Recovery doesn't eliminate the struggle** — Even within a polyamorous relationship with therapeutic support, Gallo continues wrestling with integrating physical and emotional connection, demonstrating that healing is ongoing rather than a destination, and structured recovery alone cannot solve the deeper relational work required. PodNation Podcast Affiliate link, Get 15% OFF with code podna15 on Ryze Coffee at https://www.ryzesuperfoods.com/ Support the show and get exclusive content Sign up for Ruan's Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow All Ruan's links: https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate link Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow  

Season 5, Episode 700: By the Bonfire Sex Game Excerpt. We are by the bonfire one steamy night and things get extra hot. Enjoy this sexy bonfire sex game told in the second person, so "you" participate in this sexy scene where pretending to be horny fireflies turns into kinky intense hide and seek. This story is a yummy display of consensual desires and a rendering of delicious exciting masculine dominance and alluring lush feminine submission. Contains light BDSM elements, language, and rich moaning. Get the full audio on Ruan's Patreon: Ruan's Patreon Ruan's books: Ruan's Spicy Books FREE erotica and erotic romance books through 12/17/25 Access to FREE erotica books Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate deal: Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow  

Season 5, Episode 699: Eleven Years of Anonymity and Sex Confessions: How Radical Non-Judgment Built a Top-Charting Confessions Podcast...meet the podcaster Kathy Kay! She has interviewed people about their secret sex lives for 11 years and turned her favorite stories into a book! *THE BOOK IS NOW OUT!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/47ApifU Want to share your sex story? *Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Follow Kathy Kay on: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcas Subscribe for Ruan's exclusive content: Exclusive Content Key Takeaways: • **Anonymity enables radical honesty** — Removing the host's identity, combined with genuine non-judgment, unlocked unprecedented vulnerability from callers that wouldn't occur in traditional media formats. • **Hosting changed the host more than the audience** — Years of listening to others' intimate confessions made Kathy significantly less judgmental of herself and others, fundamentally shifting her personal worldview. Hosting the podcast helped her in personal growth and self discovery. • **Success requires protecting loved ones from it** — Despite building a top-charting show, Kathy deliberately hides her professional identity from family to shield them from potential social judgment, suggesting visibility and intimacy can't always coexist. Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow  

Season 5, Episode 698: Kevin is Candy's Dom. She revels in being his sub and triggering him into his dominant, intense, sexy Dom mode. He's working. But she's horny. She's got plans and it involves pulling out her sexual charms from her tool belt. As he comes down the stairs, she ambushes him with her talents and what she gets is exactly what she wants. The results are delicious to them both. **Enjoy this short smutty story which was originally spun as erotic improv by podcaster Ruan Willow as she narrated this story live as a recording for her podcast Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow. Want the full story? Subscribe to get it: Seduction of Her Dom, the Full Story View all the exclusive content

**Shame doesn't just make you feel bad, it fundamentally shapes how you experience your own body and desires.** Returning guest Dr. Alison Ash breaks down exactly why shame is so destructive to sexual wellness. Unlike guilt (which says you did something wrong), shame tells you that *you yourself* are wrong, creating a deep fear of rejection that literally dysregulates your nervous system. This isn't something we're born with. It develops through early experiences where we internalize negative reactions, eventually becoming that harsh inner critic voice. The contradictory messages are especially confusing: women should look desirable but not actually desire, while men should always be sexually available yet their desire is somehow dangerous. These cultural and religious influences create confusion that conscious rejection alone can't fix. Here's where it gets interesting: empathy is shame's antidote. When someone truly accepts you without judgment, healing becomes possible. (This is why finding sex-positive communities matters so much.) Dr. Aly explains how even BDSM can be healing for trauma survivors through consensual power exchange—reclaiming control over experiences where they previously had none. What if the fantasies or interests that make you feel broken are actually completely normal? Ready to understand the difference between your own feelings and society's expectations? This conversation offers practical strategies for recognizing shame's sources and reclaiming your agency. Estimated Timeline: 00:00:00 - Moving Through Shame and Sexual Wellness 00:02:09 - Guilt vs Shame: Understanding the Inner Critic 00:04:47 - Inner Shame and Sexuality's Cultural Conditioning 00:08:56 - Shame's Impact on Sexual Pleasure and Embodiment 00:10:48 - Shame, Empathy, and Healing Through Connection 00:14:33 - Power Exchange as Healing and Shame Reframing 00:17:43 - Reading Fiction as Healing and Normalization 00:19:14 - Shame Prevents Us From Enjoying Pleasure 00:21:33 - Building Trust Through Gradual Vulnerability 00:26:02 - Understanding Sexual Non-Concordance and Shame 00:28:45 - Unpacking Body Shame Through Conversation 00:32:56 - Lubrication Myths and Sexual Shame 00:35:17 - Being Selective About Who You Share With 00:37:09 - Sex Toys as Tools, Not Shame 00:41:12 - Internet's Role in Community and Identity 00:44:00 - Building Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Dr. Alison Ash, aka Dr. Aly, is a trauma-informed intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. As a sociologist with a PhD from Stanford, she has a comprehensive understanding of the complex societal challenges that often lead to unsatisfying and disempowering intimate experiences. She designs workshops, courses, and retreats and offers individuals and couples coaching to give others the tools to be able to cultivate and sustain nourishing emotional and sexual intimacy. Dr. Aly invites you to TurnON pleasure, intimacy and love at www.TurnON.love  Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills online course on Tues, Jan 27th-Mar 17th We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame and disconnection. Featuring 8 classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off! Coaching:   Last but not least, reach out to Dr. Aly for individual, couples, and ENM coaching support!    All links: www.TurnON.love  Sustainable Intimacy Retreat: https://www.turnon.love/sustainable-intimacy-retreat Sustainable Intimacy On Demand Rental: https://www.turnon.love/sustainable-intimacy SEIS course: https://www.turnon.love/sexual-and-emotional-intimacy-skills Coaching: https://www.turnon.love/sex-and-intimacy-coaching Support the show Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow  

Episode 695: From Threesomes to Non-Monogamy: One Man's Journey Beyond Jealousy and Shame with author Adam Darrow about his edgy, honest, and raw memoir "Seek the Risk" (affiliate link) https://amzn.to/3KrboVR When Adam Darrow met Jane at forty, he thought he was the adventurous one. After all, he'd spent his twenties competing in extreme sports and had explored threesomes—that made him pretty edgy, right? Then Jane, a PhD psychologist who spoke five languages, told him she didn't do boyfriends (and she meant it). Drawing from his background in extreme sports, Darrow spent two and a half years transitioning into non-monogamy, followed by three challenging years of emotional work before finding equilibrium. The journey wasn't easy. When Jane publicly announced their arrangement on Facebook in 2009, Darrow watched his life wildly transform. His best friend called him derogatory names. But over time, he discovered something unexpected: jealousy could be channeled into motivation to become a better partner. What initially felt emasculating became an opportunity to overcome deep-seated insecurities like imposter syndrome and validation-seeking. His memoir chronicles this transformative experience through vulnerable storytelling that includes explicit extreme sexual details and uncomfortable emotional truths, as well as healing and growth. How did keeping emotions bottled up nearly break him? The book explores that question while advocating for moving beyond societal shame around sexuality, relationship conformity, and focusing on personal authenticity rather than rigid beliefs about relationships. Estimated Timeline:  Adam Darrow's Journey Into Non-Monogamy 00:03:40 - PhD Psychologist with Unconventional Past 00:06:43 - Extreme Sports Skills Applied to Non-Monogamy 00:09:13 - Separating Sex from Emotion in Relationships 00:19:57 - Managing Jealousy Through Don't Ask, Don't Tell 00:22:26 - From Jealousy to Compersion in Open Relationships 00:25:11 - Breaking Through Shame and Choosing Each Other 00:28:42 - Walking the Beach: Questioning My Limits, book excerpt 00:33:17 - Understanding Nesting Couples and Non-Monogamy 00:39:43 - Letting Go of Control in Relationships 00:46:22 - Vulnerability and Authenticity in Memoir Writing 00:51:51 - Writing the Book and Her Reaction 00:58:17 - Identity Beyond Sexual Acts, sexuality 01:06:44 - Overcoming Jealousy Through Personal Growth 01:11:27 - Healthy vs Unhealthy Jealousy in Relationships Connect with Adam Darrow:  Link to the books website  www.seektherisk.net Substack seektherisk.substack.com Email for folks to contact Adam at adam@seektherisk.net insta:   @seektherisk Support the show Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Episode 693: Ruan does erotic fiction improv, spinning a sexy spicy hot story right off the top of her head roleplaying, getting into playing the character of Maria, a new hotwife. Maria is the new hotwife that Harry, her Daddy Dom has gotten her interested in being. Once Maria agrees to trying out the free-use hotwife role, Daddy sets up a party with all of his friends. Maria is very excited and slips on the sheer pink lingerie dress Daddy picked out for her. As she says, "It's like swiss cheese!" There's a perfectly delicious reason for this! Daddy gets a pre-party treat from Maria's mouth. Maria explores her humiliation and free use kinks. Pleasure abounds! But in the end, it's Daddy's turn to reclaim his sub and make her 'his sub' again. Oh the sheer luscious deliciousness! Enjoy this power exchange Dom/sub hotwife story I created right off the top of my head... it's erotic improv sex scene time again--so all you grammar police take a hike! This was live narration and damn did I have fun! Spicy fiction to heat up your ears in a flash! Ge your wife sharing fetish met, kinky vibes! A friends with benefits story, free use party style! Black Friday to Cyber Monday sale on Ruan's site! Get ebooks, signed paperbacks, and audiobooks for 50% OFF! Sale runs from 11/25/25 to 12/2/25 https://payhip.com/RuanWillowBooks $0.99 cents ebooks on sale https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/ninetyninecentsbookssales Support the show Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Episode 692: People pleasers and all people listen up! Surprisingly, boundaries don't push people away, they actually strengthen connection. Dr. Alison Ash returns to unpack sexual boundaries, especially for those who struggle to say no. Boundaries aren't just about your values; they're about your capacity, the fluctuating energy and resources available to you based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation. When you're dysregulated and operating outside your window of tolerance, you become reactive and frustrated. (Most of us consistently overestimate what we can handle.) Dr. Aly shares a practical three-part formula for setting boundaries that helps others feel heard rather than rejected. Key Takeaways: • Boundaries aren't selfish, they're based on your actual capacity, which fluctuates daily based on sleep, stress, and nervous system regulation, making them a realistic necessity rather than a character flaw. • The "window of tolerance" explains why you get reactive. When dysregulated, you become irritable and struggle to enforce boundaries, so managing your nervous system is as important as stating your limits. • Healthy boundaries actually filter out unhealthy relationships, meaning people who respect your "no" strengthen the relationship, while those who don't reveal incompatibility, not rejection of them as people. Discussion topics; Sexuality, sexual health, sexual wellness, relationships, mental health Understanding Your Capacity and Setting/maintaining Healthy Boundaries without guilt and while maintaining connection  Feeling Safe Saying No Builds Trust Understanding Trauma and Nervous System Dysregulation Managing Trauma Response Through Nervous System Care Communication and Pacing in Exploring Kink Substance Use and Consent in Sexual Exploration Learning From Past Experiences and Building Intimacy Skills Sex Gets Better With Age and Confidence Connect with Dr. Aly: Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills online course on Tues, Jan 27th-Mar 17th We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame and disconnection. Featuring 8 classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off! Last but not least, reach out to Dr. Aly for individual, couples, and ENM coaching support!http://www.turnon.love/ Support the show Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

Ep 690: MFF Waking to His Alarm Cock, The Bed Scene, written by podcast host, and author, Ruan Willow, narrated by Ruan Willow and Motorboatin' Matt, an erotica excerpt from a hot short story. Waking to His Alarm Cock, A FFM Erotic Story. One night, Zane, his high school sweetheart Maria, and Lissa fall into bed together and fall asleep after hot threesome sex. That event launched them into a sexy triad and no one wants it to end. In fact, they wanted it to strengthen. The problem is, they'd need to hide their relationship from their daughter and the elementary school because Lissa is a kindergarten teacher there, and their daughter's teacher. They wake up when Zane's morning wood announces that it's time to have sex again. Who needs an alarm clock when he's got an alarm cock? Lissa starts it off and the three fall into a lust-filled, and very hotly satisfying morning. Enjoy this short fiction story of erotic fiction, erotic romance, and group fun! Sexuality at it's best, a threeway love fest! Read how this throuple met in the excerpt in the anthology, The Best Bi Erotica of the Year, Volume 2 https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thebestbieroticaoftheyear Support the show Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliate Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow