The PNW Dog Mom

Hello, reader. It’s time for me to explain what this project is so you can see if it resonates with you ✨ and in hopes that if you’d like to add any of these apparel pieces to you (or your dog’s) collection, you can appreciate the love & meaning they were born from.My name is Elisa Marie, and I’ve worn many hats until now - but I started & am ending with the title of Artist.As a lifelong & forever destined dog mom (I’ve never experienced the desire for bearing or raising human children), dogs have been one of the only constant sources of joy & meaning in my life. As a lifelong loner, the bonds I’ve had the privilege of forming with the best dogs in the world (don’t grab your pitchfork - the magic about dogs is that every single one of them is the best dog in the world. That’s what makes them so special.) have oftentimes been the only thing to get me through the unexpected & also universal heartbreaking seasons of life. There was my first deathbed dog, named Patch - who I’ve shared one story about before. He was a Brittany that was my best friend, partner in crime, and guardian as a child, while my father was building his commercial beekeeping business & my mom, who had immigrated from Colombia to a new world & reality, was figuring out WTF was up with america & learning how to be a mother. Although not deathbed dogs, a formative part of my love for dogs includes my mom’s unexpectedly successful empire she built breeding & homing Bichon Frisé puppies. What started out as maybe an unorthodox way of making some money doing something that our home had the space & my mom had the time & patience for ended up resulted in many, many happy families & the excitement that puppies brings, for me & my sisters. Although I feel like communicating with dogs, appreciating their simplicity & joy has been innate - perhaps it’s the years spent in the born - 8 week stage of life for several puppy litters that have made my knowledge of the care and repetition required to properly care for dogs something ingrained in who I am.As a child, where my mom’s dogs were less of human companions, and now an income stream (don’t worry, she cared for those dogs & they lived a great life on my family’s multi acre property), and my father’s dogs throughout my childhood were hunting dogs and nothing more, the greatest yearning I ever felt was for a dog of my own. The first adult death bed dog that changed my life forever was named Vixen. I was in my last year at University, nervous & unsure what the future held with my degree in Apparel Design & my soon to be husband having recently enlisted into the Air National Guard in hopes of providing for our family & leveling up his already impressive automotive mechanic skills. One of my best friends at the time had decided to adopt a tiny deerhead Chihuahua mix from the shelter, but wasn’t exactly dog savvy - nor did her parents even remotely let her think the dog was allowed to come home with her after graduation. The first time I saw Vixen (named “Luca” back then, if i remember correctly) - I experienced love at first sight, but with a dog. Let me know if this has ever happened to you, because I experienced it again, with one of my current pups - Villain.I offered to babysit Vixen whenever my friend needed, and fell increasingly in love with the little tan spitfire with half folded ears and a curly Q tail that literally stopped strangers in their tracks when they landed their eyes upon her cuteness. I’m not just saying this, it was a recurring experience.When my friend let me know that the ultimatum from her parents had been given, and there was now an ad on craigslist for her puppy, but did I maybe want her? My heart was set ablaze now that I would be able to call that little angel my own. And the adventures we had over the two short years of Vixen’s life were ones I’ll cherish forever. I spent countless hours training Vixen on my parents’ property in the summer heat of 2014, taking her to the elementary & middle school fields I had trekked to from my house for years, growing up through each grade, now as an “adult” to proof her commands & carry out my current studies as a hobby dog trainer.She got to explore the most beautiful parts of the Oregon wilderness with my husband & I, as light on her feet as a fairy, scaling boulders on hiking trails with ease.She was my constant shadow & companion throughout the scary & unmapped season of life after graduation. During life as a newlywed, during my first attempt to launch a financially successful clothing brand, through the years I spent apart from my husband while he was in Air Force boot camp & tech school. She kept me company as I spent hours getting ready for my life changing position at the MAC counter inside of Nordstrom, and even back then - I was known as the girl with the dog. And then, one day, after we had played in the idyllic summer late afternoon, Vixen romping around in the grass of the sprawling yard outside my parents’ house - I drove down the road to put in my time at the gym as I did daily back when my husband & I were long distance - and when I came home, opened the front door & called her name - I learned she was gone. Having made her way down to the main road, she had been hit by a vehicle and unable to save, like my first deathbed dog, Patch, before her. At 23 years old, it was my first, true and embodied experience with the death of a being far before it was their time. And two years after her death, my husband, Alex Serrano, was killed in a vehicle collision, too. As you can see, there’s quite a literal meaning behind this project. As an artist, art is how I’m returning to my roots to honor things that mean most to me in life, and as a physical form of expression that I can share with others who “get it.”Beyond the literal homage in the name of “Death Bed Dog Moms,” the unexpected embraces from death in my life have also changed everything about the way I live, and my philosophies in regards to happiness & the meaning of life - at least, for myself.In that sense, the name & this project also represent a reminder to live like a dog until you die. Loving others who care for you with your whole being, unconditionally.Living simply, with gratitude for the blessings the world gives us.Appreciating & soaking up every moment spent outdoors.Living in the moment.Being absolutely and unequivocally unapologetic about who you are, and unafraid to set boundaries with those who you don’t respect your way of being.Honoring your physical, mental, and somatic physiological needs as a creature with a body to take care of. Taking baby steps to overcome your struggles, or to achieve your goals.Being thankful for something as small as a ball, or a stick.And most important of all -taking any chance you can get to play. This is just a handful of lessons I’ve learned from my dogs. I would loveeee to hear the lessons your dogs have taught you. So with that context being given, I hope you can get a sense of how much meaning these pieces hold, the way they honor my dogs and yours, and how I hope they can serve as a physical reminder when you wear them of how to live your life - Like a dog. 💖 I would hope it wouldn’t have to be said, but since I’m the one in charge here - I’ll say it anyways.I know there’s new clothing brands being made every day, people with a dream just like mine, and also empty money grabs made by savvy entrepreneurs who know how to calculate what clothing and designs might sell to consumers. This is not that.This is an art project born from love and pain, and it’s uncertain what the future holds for it. If enough people resonate with this project to keep it going, that would be so lovely. But if it’s a limited time project that can’t sustain itself forever, then that’s okay too. It’s an experiment, and I’m so grateful to anyone that has taken the time to listen, & to hop on this ride.Every piece has been made with intention - and as I’ve said before, quite selfishly. I’ve always viewed clothing as a form of expression, evident by the craaaaaazy styles I’ve sported over the decades and, of course, my decision to spend four years acquiring a degree learning about the history, construction, and business behind clothing. Getting to learn & help structure the ins & outs of our boutique style, wholesale operated silk screen printing production facility & service based business in Oregon was the last puzzle piece this project needed.I’ve had the opportunity to learn the ins & outs of different clothing pieces made for different garment decoration methods, I’ve gotten to see what sets pieces apart from the rest and also what shortcuts are made to deliver budget conscious options for those who aren’t looking to offer a premium piece of decorated clothing.This means these pieces set for sale by me, and made possible by my partner’s screen printing shop, Don’t Lose Hope Screen Print, are pieces made by those who have the experience, discernment, and professional ability to provide what many brands wouldn’t be able to:* afford* receive the appropriate ROI on* even be able to offer at this small of scaleI’ve been able to be as hands on as you can get in this process of bringing these pieces to fruition, while collaborating with other professionals to cover the areas I’m unable to carry out myself.Okay, now I’ll clarify who this brand is for…..Essentially, anyone who resonates with the visual aesthetic, and/or the deeper meaning behind the collective art project.Thanks to my marketing & psychology training, & natural taste, it’s been SO FUN using the “alt dog mom” niche as the simplified target market, because of course that’s who this brand is for when you take it at face value.Macabre graphics like skeletons & scythes, nods to the occult with pentagrams & moons - oooooof what alt girly doesn’t LOVE???My personal twist is to also offer this vision in soft & neon PINK…because that’s also me. And maybe it’s more girls, too. We’ll find out! As an artist,

For someone who’s never wanted children, I sure do think about my legacy a lot. I think it started when I reached the peak of small business ownership burnout in 2025, because a lot of small business owners will endure indescribable sacrifice in hopes of their children inheriting a successful business that will support them in the future.But as (it feels like) the rest of (white) American society is being forced to come to terms with current events & now being emotionally impacted by the pain being inflicted upon our collective society - it seems to be a topic I keep returning to as I spin my mental wheels, contemplating what I, a random dog mom in the PNW, can do that could leave a positive legacy for the next generations. Because the more I educate myself on the (intentional, let’s not forget this) racist undertones that are woven within the fabric of every single thing we encounter in our lives - part of my grieving process for the future I once imagined is also accepting that the battle against evil, racism, patriarchy, aka the current regime pulling the strings worldwide - is not a new battle. It’s just new to those who have either sought out or have had the dots connected for them. And it’s a battle that will continue on after I’m gone, I think. Because unprogramming centuries of racism, and combatting decades of imperialist & capitalistic propaganda doesn’t happen overnight.When I first began embodying my resistance - this was something I simply could not bear to accept. That things have been, are, and will continue to be SO WRONG, SO UNJUST, and my lay heart bleeding on the floor for those who have suffered, are suffering, and will suffer.For those experiencing this stage of your resistance, I have felt your despair. A little secret is that I still feel it, too. It will never go away. The way I’m surviving this war is to use it as motivation. To DO SOMETHING. Anything. I will now give you some tough love that helped shift my mindset last year. It’s not exactly comforting, but it’s a way to work through the pain. Let the suffering of others be what mobilizes you - not paralyze you.Now that the horrors (that have always happened to minorities) are being highlighted & in our faces daily - “staying informed” can easily become misconstrued as resistance. The thing is, subjecting your mental state to absorbing that information constantly is going to negatively affect your ability to fight & stay focused. And we need that from you. This is going to be a long game, not a sprint.As I’ve mentioned before, reducing my scrolling time by like 99% has massively improved my mental health. Right now that’s a frame of thought that others are shaming right now - and I get it. I used to think that way, too. But as with anything, your intention matters.If your reaction to the reality we are living in is to actively ignore the truths being publicized in order to selfishly soak up & coast along from whatever amount of privilege you have, then that’s cringe and yucky, dude.If your current habit is to soak up the evil occurring through your screen in order to “see it to believe it” per say, and to spread awareness, fact check claims, etc, well…that’s another way to process things.But the thing is, absorbing all of the violence and anger for no reason other than to feel the pain & be negatively affected, out of the guilt that looking away makes you an “ignorant person” - That’s frankly just not very helpful for me, for my loved ones, and for the others on the receiving end of the suffering. But I get it. I’ve been “not working” (in quotes because honey, I’ve been working my tail off. Just not in the capitalistic sense.)for almost a year now, and now that I’ve begun to dismantle the addiction ingrained in me to produce in order to prove my worth - I’ve experienced myself how unfair it is to ask anyone who’s in shackles to the system of capitalism to be able to dive in head first into activism & become a ⭐️shining example⭐️ of all the ways to fight against the soulless puppeteers pulling the strings in our world. At first, this made me skip & hop back into the pit of despair I have handy (it’s been there since I was a child, so it’s a familiar place, at least?) because I was all “okay, welp it’s gonna take allllll these people to make change, and they can’t! They’re all workin’ like dogs, slaves to the system - I don’t have the right to expect them to show up in the way experts say we need to do to overthrow the government.” And you know how easy it would be to just call that the end of it? Go on and live my little life & see how far I can get with my white privilege by proxy?Yeah, it would be easy for some, but NOT FOR ME……because I’ve got the blood of a fighter in me, I guess. Kind of annoying, actually!! (joke)But like life has forced me to practice before, acceptance is the last stage of grief, and it was the first stage of enlightenment & autonomy over my own life. Now that I’ve reached this stage of grief for the country I thought I knew, and as a result, the future I expected - I’m accepting the things I cannot change. With this comes an intentionally detached state of mind. And I’ve said, intention is everything.My intention by purposefully avoiding violent & cortisol heightening media is to use the bandwidth I’ve gained back to resist. Someone online shared a viewpoint, and I think it’s a more helpful & pointed one that could help direct those who are unsure of what to do.They said that right now, the people who are able to do the most will be the ones with the most privilege. Not everyone can afford the financial or mental toll it takes to resist in the common ways I see repeated often.But don’t let that discourage you, no matter what amount of privilege you do or don’t think you have.Let it empower you. I know it feels good for the ego to make grand displays of resistance, to imagine leading a charge upon the white house (too soon?), to envision winning the powerball prize & giving the winnings to the houseless population in your town…But it’s perhaps a bit more realistic to thing smaller. To think creatively. To think emotionally. Less immediate cause & effect. Because the effects of racism and the patriarchy (because all concentrated power leads back to these freakin’ roots) are such deep rooted, core programming and normalized ways of being that simply “having more money” or placing decision making power with “other” men won’t actually solve the problem(s) that result in these injustices.We kinda have to reprogram all of humanity……at least, the ones who don’t believe in equality for all. And that’s a tallllllllll order, I know. Wait, don’t jump back in your pit of despair just yet!!Because like we talked about, that doesn’t help. You’ve got to do what you can do, after taking an honest & zoomed out look at yourself and your life and your bandwidth. Shop small more often. Meet your neighbors. Strengthen existing connections with people in your life to where you have people you can ask for help if you REALLY needed it, and you know they would help you out. And you would do the same for them.Find ways to live outside the matrix that our lives have dropped us into. Those in power see us as consumers, nothing more - so an amazing form of resistance you might not even realize is doing absolutely ANYTHING that doesn’t involve buying something.Going on a walk? Resistance.Playing with your dog? Resistance.Reading a book, painting, dancing, giggling with friends on your living room floor - resistance.The first step of resistance I want you to reclaim is your own mind. Instead of spending your precious life on earth spent looking at life through a screenBegin seeking out real life experiences by yourself, in nature (my fav), or with like minded people to keep your spirits up and remember what it is we are fighting for. And it will take people like you and I, chipping away.Putting “safe place” hand made signs in front of your house? Resistance. Offering sliding scale pricing for your services if you’re self employed? Resistance.Giving art away to loved ones? Resistance.Making it clear to everyone you know what you stand for & not being afraid to show it?The biggest resistance of all.But the first step of the war is taking care of yourself, so that you can gather whatever energy and power you have to fight, in honor of those who came before you, and those who will come after.Because like I spoke about in my last piece, we are all one. Healing yourself will heal others around you. So it’s an act of discipline and resistance just to stay sane. So don’t feel shame by looking away from the graphic and spirit crushing truths being broadcast, if you don’t need them to confirm what you already know.Let the suffering inspire you to make small habits of resistance. And let those habits turn into a lifestyle. And let that lifestyle show others you meet that there’s actually a different way of being. As your bandwidth in each season of your life changes, adjust your ways and intensity of resistance accordingly.I’m learning it takes feeling, experiencing, embodying, witnessing - to change people’s minds, as opposed to facts & logic. Let your life be the example. Let your life be the spark. Well, now back to the first thought I had for this piece. As I’ve said before, I never really know where my mind will go once I start writing. But in regards to my legacy, and everything I’ve said in this piece, the heavily ironic thing that has come to mind for me is children. So much of who you are is formed by what you experience as a child. And so much of what your worldview becomes is formed by reading and the healthy or unhealthy forms of expression & way of being you are raised with. I already told you I’ve never wanted children of my own, but the idea of showing young children a different path than the one society lays for them (worker, consumer, passive follower) gives me some hope that it would carry on some positive butterfly effects after I

As I’ve grown more confident in my understanding of the world & of the way every single thing is connected - when I came across the term “artist of consciousness” (I’ll admit, I don’t recall where I came across this term, but it clearly resonated with me)It felt like the appropriate title for myself, and to encompass my work & vision.Let’s set the scene.Erase everything you thought you knew about the modern world, the concepts of “good” and “bad,” the expectations that have been placed upon you by society, family, religion, & the monetary definition of “success.”Science, physics, and philosophy have shown us that every action (or thought) has the power to affect reality.When you look back at your own life, I’ll bet you can draw the lines between the butterfly effect of a decision you made or action you took that changed your life forever - whether you expected it or not.Stay with me here -The last idea I want to share with you about the idea of “consciousness” is one that will really turn all you knew on it’s head, especially if you’ve been programmed with a traditional religion as your way to understand “life.”The thing is, we’re all little bits of the one consciousness.There isn’t really a man up in the sky, pulling the strings - punishing some people for doing “wrong” and bestowing others with salvation because they lived the “right” way.We are all the universe. The saints, the janitors, the convicts, the animals, the wind, the earth.And when you understand that we each hold the power to use our own mindset, and therefore actions, to influence the environment & interactions with others around you - you might realize that you have a lot more power to change the world than you might think.Have you ever received a random compliment from a stranger & it sparked something lovely in your heart? They were an artist of consciousness, influencing your state of mind & perhaps inspiring you to also spread some cheer by way of a compliment.Have you (like myself) been influenced by the atrocities happening currently (and that have been happening since the dawn of humanity…..but that’s a rabbit hole for another day.. but I’ll give you a hint - patriarchy!)and as a result fallen down into a pit of despair? Yeah, I know that’s putting it lightly.Unfortunately, even the billionaires & corrupt people in power are also artists of consciousness.I hope I’m getting my point across while trying to simplify these concepts as much as I can.The funny thing about language is that when you become more open minded about words, you begin to realize the importance about not taking things so literally. You might begin to understand that things written in the Bible, religious preachings - can also be taken as allegories, and metaphorical stories meant to bestow certain mindsets. Not facts. Not literal historical occurrences.So the moral of THIS story is - we are ALL artists of consciousness.We are all parts of a greater consciousness, we are all interacting with our world which is also parts of the same greater consciousness, and this cause & effect of everything happening simultaneously across our universe is this greater consciousness evolving.When Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage”, it’s the same concept. All of us are actors in this play, but unlike what your parents, your peers, your church, modern society, & your habits have ingrained in you - you have the ability to walk your own path. You can change what you’re doing and who you are any time. You can live your life on your terms.This doesn’t have to mean crazy examples that may be coming to mind.It can mean dressing a way that may be a little funky. It can mean listening to different music. It can mean smiling at strangers instead of ignoring them. It can mean not using social media, making friends with elderly, volunteering at a mutual aid organization, or boycotting a group that’s causing harm to others.It can mean choosing not to continue to be a part of the religion you were raised with, it can mean dyeing your hair crazy colors, it can mean marching to the beat of your own drum.By making small tweaks in the way you live - embracing things YOU like and that give YOU peace and joy - you will be living as an artist of consciousness, too.The art (your life) that you create is up to you. Your art will influence others whether you realize it or not. Your art will influence how you feel about yourself whether you believe it or not. Your art has power. The way you live has power.As someone who has grown up with many, many unconventional and non traditional experiences and mindsets programmed & deprogrammed out of me, and someone who has lived through the unexpected death of a spouse at a young age, and someone who spent all of 2025 trying to understand how the US is where it is now - being a self proclaimed artist of consciousness & sharing my explanation of it is how I am empowering myself to make change while still soaking up every bit of happiness and love I am lucky enough to experience - guilt free.Because terrible things ARE happening. And I’ll be vulnerable, because the world could use more of it - the hurt & sorrow that our corrupt government is inflicting upon myself & my loved ones drove me to a very unstable place that made me feel like there was only one way out.My unexpected response to this feeling of being cornered is to take my power back, and to zoom out to look at the whole picture. I may be just one particle of the collective consciousness, but the action I take could have the domino effect of spreading positive change.So I will take my privilege of having the ability to receive inspiration from source & produce my physical artworks in order to financially support myself to further distribute My Work. I do not take the ability for granted, whatsoever.The surface level explanation for My Work is creating “cool dog mom merch” and “pretty affirmation posters” - but if you read between the lines, My Work (and yours) is the way I do everything - the words I write, the way I dress, the way I interact with anyone I meet, the choices I make - all of these things combined create the fabric of the reality I live. It may not make the horrors stop. But I can die at peace, knowing I did what I could.To finish, I’ll share a message that came to my mind out of the ether:if all the world’s a stagethen i’ll create a realitywhere i will be able to play the part that Iwant to playI am the alchemistPeace & Love,E.S.Thank you so much for taking the time to witness my work. ✨ If this piece made you think, I’d appreciate if you shared it on a platform of your choice or sent it to a loved one directly to help my mission of resistance through my art works ✨I encourage you to check out my work on these platforms to see if maybe my other projects strike your fancy, too 💖Shop human clothing, dog hoodies, & fine art prints at thepnwdogmom.comApple PodcastsSpotify PodcastsTikTokInstagram This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thepnwdogmom.substack.com

As I’ve grown more confident in my understanding of the world & of the way every single thing is connected - when I came across the term “artist of consciousness” (I’ll admit, I don’t recall where I came across this term, but it clearly resonated with me) It felt like the appropriate title for myself, and to encompass my work & vision. Let’s set the scene.Erase everything you thought you knew about the modern world, the concepts of “good” and “bad,” the expectations that have been placed upon you by society, family, religion, & the monetary definition of “success.”Science, physics, and philosophy have shown us that every action (or thought) has the power to affect reality. When you look back at your own life, I’ll bet you can draw the lines between the butterfly effect of a decision you made or action you took that changed your life forever - whether you expected it or not. Stay with me here - The last idea I want to share with you about the idea of “consciousness” is one that will really turn all you knew on it’s head, especially if you’ve been programmed with a traditional religion as your way to understand “life.”The thing is, we’re all little bits of the one consciousness. There isn’t really a man up in the sky, pulling the strings - punishing some people for doing “wrong” and bestowing others with salvation because they lived the “right” way. We are all the universe. The saints, the janitors, the convicts, the animals, the wind, the earth. And when you understand that we each hold the power to use our own mindset, and therefore actions, to influence the environment & interactions with others around you - you might realize that you have a lot more power to change the world than you might think. Have you ever received a random compliment from a stranger & it sparked something lovely in your heart? They were an artist of consciousness, influencing your state of mind & perhaps inspiring you to also spread some cheer by way of a compliment. Have you (like myself) been influenced by the atrocities happening currently (and that have been happening since the dawn of humanity…..but that’s a rabbit hole for another day.. but I’ll give you a hint - patriarchy!)and as a result fallen down into a pit of despair? Yeah, I know that’s putting it lightly. Unfortunately, even the billionaires & corrupt people in power are also artists of consciousness. I hope I’m getting my point across while trying to simplify these concepts as much as I can. The funny thing about language is that when you become more open minded about words, you begin to realize the importance about not taking things so literally. You might begin to understand that things written in the Bible, religious preachings - can also be taken as allegories, and metaphorical stories meant to bestow certain mindsets. Not facts. Not literal historical occurrences. So the moral of THIS story is - we are ALL artists of consciousness. We are all parts of a greater consciousness, we are all interacting with our world which is also parts of the same greater consciousness, and this cause & effect of everything happening simultaneously across our universe is this greater consciousness evolving. When Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage", it’s the same concept. All of us are actors in this play, but unlike what your parents, your peers, your church, modern society, & your habits have ingrained in you - you have the ability to walk your own path. You can change what you’re doing and who you are any time. You can live your life on your terms. This doesn’t have to mean crazy examples that may be coming to mind. It can mean dressing a way that may be a little funky. It can mean listening to different music. It can mean smiling at strangers instead of ignoring them. It can mean not using social media, making friends with elderly, volunteering at a mutual aid organization, or boycotting a group that’s causing harm to others. It can mean choosing not to continue to be a part of the religion you were raised with, it can mean dyeing your hair crazy colors, it can mean marching to the beat of your own drum.By making small tweaks in the way you live - embracing things YOU like and that give YOU peace and joy - you will be living as an artist of consciousness, too. The art (your life) that you create is up to you. Your art will influence others whether you realize it or not. Your art will influence how you feel about yourself whether you believe it or not. Your art has power. The way you live has power. As someone who has grown up with many, many unconventional and non traditional experiences and mindsets programmed & deprogrammed out of me, and someone who has lived through the unexpected death of a spouse at a young age, and someone who spent all of 2025 trying to understand how the US is where it is now - being a self proclaimed artist of consciousness & sharing my explanation of it is how I am empowering myself to make change while still soaking up every bit of happiness and love I am lucky enough to experience - guilt free.Because terrible things ARE happening. And I’ll be vulnerable, because the world could use more of it - the hurt & sorrow that our corrupt government is inflicting upon myself & my loved ones drove me to a very unstable place that made me feel like there was only one way out. My unexpected response to this feeling of being cornered is to take my power back, and to zoom out to look at the whole picture. I may be just one particle of the collective consciousness, but the action I take could have the domino effect of spreading positive change.So I will take my privilege of having the ability to receive inspiration from source & produce my physical artworks in order to financially support myself to further distribute My Work. I do not take the ability for granted, whatsoever. The surface level explanation for My Work is creating “cool dog mom merch” and “pretty affirmation posters” - but if you read between the lines, My Work (and yours) is the way I do everything - the words I write, the way I dress, the way I interact with anyone I meet, the choices I make - all of these things combined create the fabric of the reality I live. It may not make the horrors stop. But I can die at peace, knowing I did what I could. To finish, I’ll share a message that came to my mind out of the ether:if all the world’s a stagethen i’ll create a realitywhere i will be able to play the part that Iwant to playI am the alchemistPeace & Love, E.S.Thank you so much for taking the time to witness my work. ✨ If this piece made you think, I’d appreciate if you shared it on a platform of your choice or sent it to a loved one directly to help my mission of resistance through my art works ✨I encourage you to check out my work on these platforms to see if maybe my other projects strike your fancy, too 💖Shop human clothing, dog hoodies, & fine art prints at thepnwdogmom.comApple PodcastsSpotify PodcastsTikTokInstagram This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thepnwdogmom.substack.com

I’ve always been PETRIFIED of being the center of attention.I think we’ve all been there. Knowing the answer to the teacher’s question in class, but being afraid to raise our hand - because what if we’re wrong? What worse scenario could there be???? The other peers would undoubtedly stand, point, and jeer at you, throwing tomatoes at you and pushing you out of the classroom into the hallway, never allowed to return.Yeahhhh when you put it like that, it seems a little silly to be afraid to share something you believe to be true.But that fear is something that’s taken me all my life to overcome.Maybe it was growing up a girl, when we’re programmed to blend into the background.Maybe it was growing up in a cult (Abrahamic religion) that threatened eternal damnation & misery if you identified with anything other than what they preached was okay.Maybe it was being the child of a parent who was from another country, and a parent who had an untraditional vocation (commercial pollination) that made me second guess if I was ever “right.”Safe to say - I never really fit in with the “normal” crowd.(As I know now after having lived what feels like several lifetimes - there is no such thing as normal.)I remember sharing a poem about my love of story in my fifth grade class, hands & voice shaking - but it was my passion to share my art that overrode my fear.I was required to take a public speaking class in university, and when it was my turn to present - I’m pretty sure I blacked out from the experience of having the entire room’s eyes on me. I was forced to do so in order to pass the class and obtain my degree.Don’t get it twisted, I could still maintain polite conversation & function as a member of society - I wasn’t a freakin’ mime or anything.But it was only when I was forced to overcome my disdain for speaking to people I don’t know - that I realized speaking with (and to) others from a place of authenticity would unlock opportunity for connection…something I strongly feel our modern world starves us of. But that’s a story for another day.I found this magical way that speaking with others can connect our hearts in what might be an unlikely place - The MAC makeup counter inside of Nordstrom.For those who don’t know, working for MAC is a role that requires you to take it pretty seriously. Since your purpose is to sell product that buyers will enjoy (and NOT return, which is a challenge due to the absurdly lax return policy that made Nordstrom famous), experienced sales people know that this requires you facilitate a rigorous discovery phase with your potential buyer.On top of this, you must use tact, personality, and charisma to construct an effortlessly enjoyable experience for the buyer - because we all ALSO know the stereotype of the sleazy car salesman or the snake oil salesman trope.Most women are pretty intuitive & discerning.It’s a power we hold because of good reasons, and bad.We are creators of live, the primary caretakers for children in most circumstances, and we are the victims of violence from angry men who snap when we may unintentionally trigger them.As women, we have had the skills to read others body language, speech inflection, and behavior patterns in order to stay alive.As you might presume, most buyers of MAC makeup are women.Women are humans I’d had the least experience connecting with, seeing as I was essentially raised as if I was a small man thanks to a father who’s wishes of having sons would forever remain unfulfilled. I shopped in the boys section at the store until high school. I was forced had the opportunity to experience work for many years within the system of my father’s commercial “bee business,” was a hunter & a deep sea fisherwoman(??), and forever the odd one out when it came to the girls in my class all throughout school.So when it came to making bonds with women in order to sell to them………I was a fish out of water.I’ll do a deeper dive on my experience at the MAC counter & how it changed my life another day, but for now I’ll bring you to the present.It has taken years - decades - (ooo I’m old baby) accidentally becoming stronger in my self confidence & being brave enough to share my most vulnerable thoughts with the world.Every time, my growth has been the result of the desire to accomplish my goal being stronger than my fear of what others might think of me for speaking my truth.Sometimes that looks like a customer at the MAC counter buying product per my recommendation, and then later returning it to the dismay of my counter manager.Sometimes it looks like putting a display of political signs up in front of my house, decals stating my political dissent & outrage on my vehicle, and cutting ties with people in my life who have shown they have different morals than I do.When you’re older, when you have friendships you’ve invested years into, when you run a business, have connections with people & have more at stake that can suffer the consequences of your free speech - that’s when it’s definitely more scary to be unmistakably different from the crowd, and unapologetically so.But I know what it’s like to live in fear of being different.I know what it’s like to feel alone.I know now that part of my purpose as a human being in this timeline, this reality - is to act as the person I always needed in my own life growing up.I’ve gone through so many evolutions over my 33 years of living, and I hope you have, too.Something that has brought me comfort is the science of quantum physics - the study of how our perception can change reality, how time is not linear, and how the way we heal ourselves in turn positively affects others around us in a ripple effect.There’s a concept that the actions you take, and the way you interact with yourself in the current moment will actually be felt by your past self. Because your past self is still there, still living in that timeline, in fact everything everywhere is happening simultaneously - I encourage you to explore studies on that from folks far more equipped to teach it than I -The point is - my motivation is myself. My past self, my current self, my future self.And as someone who has always felt aligned with the art & power of language, it’s been rewarding & strengthening for me to dedicate time & energy to this writing practice.I know that there’s a pressure now with the push for monetization of content to only really do things to document them, to publicize them, to perform for the purpose of consumption by others.But I would implore you to think about what you can do without any attachment to an outcome that will strengthen your self identity and make you proud of who you are and help heal the wounds that have also made you who you are.As someone coming to terms with the darkness happening in our current timeline due to those who have intentionally designed our society to distract us from realizing how much power each of us truly have to change the world - this is one way I am resisting.Resisting can look like violence, protest, education, participation in mutual aid - but it can also be done by putting in the reps to feel brave enough to speak out in public.I know so many who feel the same way I do, but who haven’t had the reason to strengthen their self identity enough to shamelessly stand up for what they believe in.So I hope this piece made you maybe think about things from a different perspective. I hope to encourage you to love yourself enough to do what your younger self needed. I hope you try to heal yourself. Because by healing yourself, we can have the strength as a collective to help heal the world.Thank you so much for taking the time to witness my work. ✨ If this piece made you think, I’d appreciate if you shared it on a platform of your choice or sent it to a loved one directly to help my mission of resistance through my art works ✨I encourage you to check out my work on these platforms to see if maybe my other projects strike your fancy, too 💖WebsiteApple PodcastsTikTokInstagram This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thepnwdogmom.substack.com

For those familiar with my work, you know that I’ve been developing a clothing line for the last couple of years.As I reach the end of the preparation for beginning this new venture - I’m beginning to feel pinches of doubt creep into the edges of my mind.No matter how much self reflection I do, how enlightened I aim to become, how much I speak out on how I release the shackles of expectation - I can’t deny that I care.This clothing line means a lot to me.On the outside, I know it’s just another wannabe clothing brand made by no one special (by the industry’s standard, not in MY opinion 💅).But behind the scenes, the driving force behind this clothing line is a tidal wave of absolutely everything I’ve learned over the past 15 years.Alt fashion, apparel, marketing, business, sales, copywriting, advertising, promotion, customer service, fulfillment, logistics - this combines everything I feel like I’ve learned and I know.So the pressure I’m feeling to be able to pull this off and make it into a profitable side hustle is pretty big. Not because of anyone else, not thanks to my higher self. But the human, primal part of me is genuinely hoping that this leap of faith will pay off.And the human, primal part of me is pained to feel the sting of disappointment if this risk doesn’t pay off. It’s one of my last ditch efforts to monetize my skills, but in a way that is truly rewarding for me, mentally and physically manageable, and is an an art practice all in one. At least that’s the plan. Maybe I launch this and end up HATING it.But there’s only one way to find out.I have been working to keep my expectations low, that way any action that happens is purely some sugar on top. As I’ve told everyone around me, if this side hustle goes nowhere - so be it. My goal was to bring into fruition the dog mom clothing line of my dreams, catered to my lifestyle and the way I like to dress. Getting to bring that vision to life, when I zoom out, is honestly super rewarding in itself.But right now, as it feels like I’m about to step off a cliff (yet again) to see whether the parachute I packed will help me soar - I’m trapped in the in-between.The Schrödinger effect of quantum physics being put to the test with my manifestation practices & trust in the universe. Until this clothing line is actually released for purchase to the public, it’s a figment of success or failure in my mind. I can endlessly think out scenarios for whichever path this ends up taking me on.But there’s only one way to find out what will happen on this timeline.And that’s to jump. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thepnwdogmom.substack.com

Something that has recently dawned on me as I’ve been stepping into a new season (or a new timeline, if you’re savvy) is just how intentional it requires me to be when imagining the new life I will be living. As I’ve been exploring further into the synergies of spirituality & quantum physics, it genuinely TICKLES MEE when I’ve connected the dots on how to intertwine mental & physical practices to create a new reality. For example: I’m working on building a life as an artist, where I can financially support myself & my dreams through my art. Okay…cool…so how do you get from a sentence, to reality?A problem I think many of us face is how to translate what we are manifesting into a regular practice. This leads me to wax poetic about my love of language - let’s dive into the word itself. Practice. If you look at the definition of the word, you’ll find this definition: to do or perform often, customarily, or habitually.The definition of the word itself explains what I think gets lost when we feel stuck at how to turn our dreams into reality. Let me now shift gears into tutorial mode. I will use myself as an example. I am not a great example, but perhaps a more realistic one than short form content these days likes to showcase. Because true, embodied learning, exploration, & experimentation is not a quick process. It is something you must make a part of your life. Whatever you are dreaming of doing or becoming - it must become a part of your life. It must become who you are. As I’ve come to terms with returning who I’ve always been - an artist!! this summer, I decided to commit to practicing art on a regular basis. Okay, well what does that mean?????In practical terms, it meant that I:* Placed enough value on my goal of living as an artist * Understood it would require me to dedicate chunks of time to my art practice* Felt EXCITED to explore the possibilities that could unfold from playing around with new ideas* Understood it would require me to research, and learn about new techniques * Began intentionally looking for & saving inspiration for my worksThe results since incorporating a regular art practice into my life have been so fulfilling - but that’s an article for another day. Up until now, I’ve been working on my art practice as a form of healing & self care for my mental health - which means it’s been something I’ve done when my bandwidth allows. It’s not necessarily been a top priority for me. This means my progress has been slow - but it has been steady. And steady, regular, consistent attention to anything is still growth. I know we all want results fast, and that our modern world is great at making us think that things should happen quickly. But when it comes to learning & practicing a skill - it takes time, baby. And a year may seem like a LOOOONGGG time to be exploring something - but when the result is something that will last the rest of your life, is it really so long? Once I began to reframe things in this way, it helped me to quell the incessant pinching at the back of my neck to make progress faster. Because that’s what led me to the stage of burnout that got me here in the first place 🫠 le sigh. But I’m still a realistic hippie. And now that I’m ready to up the anté on my goal of financially supporting myself through my art, I know that it will require me to get super intentional with my days in order to explore this goal.I’m reframing my days & my schedule to reflect the idea that art will be my “job,” and taking it seriously, along with my dedication to not following through if I don’t “feel like it” each day. Today is day TWO of my writing practice, and I already felt negative because when I sat down to write, my mind was blank. I wanted to start organizing the method I’m going to begin using to organize my daily schedule for my dream life. And boom - it then inspired me to write this. Which brings me to now explain the idea behind the title of this piece - Your Practices Are Who You Are. I’m going to create a physical Trello board using magnets, which will each read one of the practices or habits that will be required to make this new venture actually amount to something. Luckily now that I’ve worked on two businesses, I’ve got the true knowledge of what it takes to build a digital & financial ecosystem for what I’m planning. It requires so much more time than you’d think, oh my lanta. But instead of adding more to my plate, I’ve removed just about everything from my plate to make room, instead. Not everyone has this luxury. But it is what it is. And I am going to try. And no matter what happens, I will be kind to my heart & I will do my best to share the lessons I’m learning & that I’ve learned along the way. Thank you for reading 💖 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thepnwdogmom.substack.com