Guy Shrink

In this episode of The Guy Shrink Podcast, host Bill Roman interviews 26-year-old Devin Shaw, owner of Soul Patch, a thriving greenhouse and plant farm on his grandparents' former property in Swanton, Ohio. Devin shares how he traded a potential career in classical violin for horticulture after high school, earning a two-year degree in greenhouse management at Ohio State's Agricultural Technical Institute. Right after graduation in 2019, he built his first greenhouse on the family land, driven by a deep connection to his late grandparents and a desire to work with his hands instead of punching a clock. What began as a small hobby selling succulents at the Toledo Farmers Market has grown into a full-season operation with four greenhouses, thousands of mums, and a wide variety of flowers and container plants. Devin explains that the work is both physically demanding and creatively satisfying—he starts most plants from tiny cuttings shipped from around the world, roots them under careful misting, and spends long hours in 100-degree greenhouses while listening to Jimmy Buffett. Devin is candid about what keeps him up at night: disappointing a customer, financial pressures during the off-season, and the trial-and-error reality of growing and selling new varieties. He credits his persistence to the freedom of self-employment, a desire to honor his grandparents' legacy, and the simple joy of creating beauty that lights up customers' faces. Discipline shows up in tight financial management, daily 10–12-hour labor, meticulous record-keeping, and learning from failures (unsold plants often end up on the compost pile). When asked what advice he'd give a young man who wants to follow the same path, Devin's answer is blunt: "Go work in a greenhouse for one full season first—see if you can handle the heat, the sweat, and the daily demands." The conversation circles back to the podcast's core theme: becoming a good man through clarity, agency, and integrity—qualities Devin embodies by turning dirt, family roots, and personal passion into a meaningful life and livelihood.   Connect with the Guy Shrink Podcast across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

In this episode of Guy Shrink, host Bill welcomes guest David Bench to reflect on a remarkable adventure from nearly 20 years ago. As college seniors in 2006-2007, David and his lifelong friend Andrew embarked on a 15-month road trip across the U.S., interviewing 29 legendary college basketball coaches, including Rick Pitino, Thad Matta, Coach K, Rick Barnes, John Beilein, and the iconic John Wooden (at age 96). What began as a spontaneous project evolved into the book Destination Basketball, which captures not just basketball strategies but also profound insights into leadership, character, and personal growth. The conversation highlights timeless lessons from these coaching greats: prioritizing character over talent in recruiting, investing deeply in players as people, the value of being coachable, and turning young athletes into good men. Standout moments include Coach K's generosity, Rick Barnes crediting volunteering for his big break, and Wooden's heartfelt sportsmanship pledge and life creed. Ultimately, David emphasizes how the experience reinforced the power of relationships, friendships, and intentional growth—proving that the real game is about becoming better men, on and off the court.   Connect with the Guy Shrink Podcast across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

On the latest episode of the Guy Shrink Podcast, host Bill Roman welcomes seasoned therapist Jan Meyer to explore the fundamental differences between men and women in relationships. With over 50 years of friendship and professional expertise, Jan shares insights from her practice and personal life, highlighting how men often focus on solutions and efficiency, while women prioritize emotional connection and relational understanding. She discusses how men tend to let go of issues quickly, whereas women may dwell on them, leading to communication gaps—like when a husband forgets a morning disagreement by evening, leaving his partner still processing. Jan emphasizes the importance of recognizing these differences, noting that stereotypes hold true about 80% of the time, and encourages couples to study these distinctions to improve mutual understanding. Jan delves into practical strategies for bridging these gaps, such as women clearly stating whether they need a listener or a problem-solver, and men learning to validate feelings rather than jumping to fix issues. She introduces the concept of men having "drawers" in their brains, handling one issue at a time, while women's thoughts are interconnected, often leading to misunderstandings. Using analogies like men as "hunters" and women as "shoppers," Jan illustrates how men seek direct solutions, while women explore options relationally. The episode wraps with a call to honor these innate differences, with Jan's elevator pitch urging couples to understand that neither partner intends to create conflict—it's simply a matter of wiring.    Connect with the Guy Shrink Podcast across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

In this engaging episode of Guy Shrink, host Bill Rothman sits down with Zak Vassar, CEO of the Toledo Symphony Orchestra, to explore why men should embrace the symphony as a powerful antidote to the chaos of modern life. Vassar shares his passion for classical music, emphasizing its ability to cut through the noise of "doomscrolling" and digital distractions, offering a visceral and authentic experience that fosters emotional depth and presence. From the transformative power of live performances to their role in enhancing leadership skills, this episode highlights how symphonic music can inspire men to feel deeply, think differently, and reconnect with what truly matters. Vassar recommends three must-hear works—Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony, and Tchaikovsky's Sixth Symphony—for their profound narratives of resilience, defiance, and vulnerability. These pieces, he argues, resonate with the male psyche, addressing struggles like anxiety, professional pressures, and personal identity. By attending a symphony, men can escape the urgency of daily life, tap into a primal connection, and walk away sharper and more grounded. Tune in to discover how the symphony can be a game-changer for mental clarity and emotional strength.   Connect with the Guy Shrink Podcast across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

In this episode of GuyShrink, host Bill Roman and guests Tim Lusch, Chris Niebaur, and Jordan Valdiviez delve into epistemology—the study of how we know what we know—and why men should critically examine their thinking processes. Drawing from his background in neuroscience, Chris explains how the brain often confabulates explanations for actions, as seen in split-brain studies, and how many thoughts aren't truly our own, urging awareness to avoid detachment from reality. Tim emphasizes staying grounded in truth to extract meaning from life and avoid self-deception, while Jordan highlights the shift from automatic, culturally influenced thinking to deliberate modes fostered by mentors, community, and institutions (though critiquing their current failures). The discussion critiques wokeism as a power-serving ideology, praises Peter Boghossian's street epistemology for challenging beliefs, and explores truth as objective rather than subjective, warning against conflating feelings with facts. The conversation also touches on practical ways to improve thinking, such as reading widely (and multiple books simultaneously), writing to clarify ideas, and engaging in Socratic dialogue. They stress the dangers of unchecked ideologies, cancel culture in academia, and the value of virtues like courage and wisdom for pursuing truth.   Connect with the Guy Shrink Podcast across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

In this episode of Guy Shrink, host Bill Roman discusses retirement's challenges with guest Joe Gerhardinger, a retired math and astronomy teacher from an all-girls Catholic school in Toledo, Ohio. After 25+ fulfilling years, including teaching his own daughters, Joe chose to "graduate" alongside his youngest child, recognizing he'd peaked and sought new adventures. He faces the "double whammy" of retiring amid becoming an empty nester, which leads to sleepless nights filled with questions about purpose, potential, and whether he's squandering opportunities. Joe tried handyman work, school scheduling gigs, and subbing—but realized teaching was behind him, emphasizing self-reflection and avoiding job-defined identity. Drawing from astronomy's "averted vision," Joe advises patience in seeking meaning without chasing "passion" or constant rapture; instead, aim for rapport with the world and a sense of responsibility. References to Viktor Frankl, Stephen Covey, and John Updike enrich the talk on redefining fulfillment. Perfect for those navigating career shifts or empty nests—listen for wisdom on embracing the journey. Connect with the Guy Shrink Podcast across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

In this  episode of GuyShrink, host Bill Roman reconnects with Jordan Keefe, an entrepreneur and coach who shares insights from his nomadic RV lifestyle and his work helping men overcome pornography addiction through his program, "Take a Break from Porn." Jordan discusses the challenge of letting go of the need to control unpredictable outcomes in life, drawing parallels to the entrepreneurial experience. It introduces his approach to addressing pornography use as a choice rather than an uncontrollable addiction, rooted in managing anxiety or boredom. Jordan outlines his coaching strategies, emphasizing mindful breathing to reduce reactivity, tracking urges to identify patterns, and providing a safe space for emotional expression to alleviate underlying pressures. He advocates for embracing boredom and building mental resilience, illustrated by an exercise where clients lie down in a grocery store aisle to confront discomfort. Critiquing reliance on external tools like porn blockers, Jordan encourages internal emotional work and invites listeners to explore resources at takeabreakfromporn.com to start their journey toward change. Learn more about Jordan Keefe at his website: https://takeabreakfromporn.org/  Connect with us across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

In this deeply personal episode of Guy Shrink, host Bill Roman sits down with his friend Matt Kutz, a professor at Florida International University, to discuss a life-altering diagnosis of advanced metastatic prostate cancer. Matt shares his journey from being an active, symptom-free athlete to facing a challenging reality that affects not only him but his family. With candid vulnerability, he opens up about the emotional and physical toll of treatments, the stigma surrounding prostate cancer, and the importance of routine checkups. Matt also introduces his initiative, Battle for the Bulge, aimed at raising awareness and supporting prostate cancer research. This episode is a powerful reminder to prioritize health, embrace a positive attitude, and lean on community in the face of adversity. Tune in for an inspiring conversation about resilience and hope. Connect with us across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink 

In the season premiere of Guy Shrink, host Bill Roman welcomes back friend Tim Lusch for a deep dive into why every man should embrace philosophy. This episode explores the concept of living intentionally in a distracted world. Tim shares how a personal crisis at 21, sparked by his father's 20-year affair, led him to question his identity and purpose, finding answers through philosophy and mentorship. Drawing on the insights of Stoic thinkers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, as well as the resilience of figures such as Jim Stockdale, they discuss navigating existential crises, from daily routines to life-altering events. The conversation touches on the suicide of Fandango founder Michael Klein, reflecting on what keeps us grounded. Tim emphasizes the importance of staying off "autopilot" to live fully, offering practical insights on morning routines, self-examination, and learning from literature such as *A Man for All Seasons* and *The Moviegoer*. A compelling call to ask big questions and live with purpose. Connect with us across all platforms here: https://linktr.ee/guyshrink   

To be human is to be in relationships. Ugh. Red flag hoisted! We can't survive without them but at the same time, it's in our relationships that we can so easily get unraveled. This is the stuff that keeps a guy up at night. How to navigate the sticky wicket of significant others: wives, partners, spouses, along with parents, kids, coworkers, and friendships, is tough going. Dr. Jenny Brown, founder and now retired Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute in Sydney, Australia, joins Bill on this GuyShrink episode to talk about how to bring your best into all of life's relationships. Speaking through solid experience Jenny will cause you to take a deep look at the ways you present yourself in all the places where you show up. She offers no quick fixes nor 5 easy tips to win, but her words will speak directly to wherever you might be in your life's journey. Her book Growing Yourself Up is the best guide out there to do just that. We thoroughly enjoyed this interview and know you will, too.

Ever fantasized about getting even? You're not alone — and it turns out revenge isn't just satisfying… It's literally addictive. Clinical psychologists Bill Roman & Dan Schaefer dive deep into: Why revenge triggers the same dopamine rush as cocaine How harboring resentment is a "behavioral addiction" (new brain science!) The dark reason Hollywood revenge movies (John Wick, Kill Bill, Gladiator) make billions Why "venting" your anger actually makes it worse The one thing that finally breaks the cycle: forgiveness (and it's harder than it sounds) If you've ever replayed "that moment" in your head, chopped wood while imagining someone's face, or cheered when the bad guy finally gets it — this episode is for you. Listen now wherever you get podcasts: search "GuyShrink" 🎧 Apple | Spotify | YouTube #Guyshrink #Revenge #Psychology #Dopamine #Forgiveness #MentalHealthForMen

Jim Herrington is an inspirational voice of authority in the millions of other voices claiming leadership knowledge. Jim has a significant track record of over four decades of sustained, creative, and engaged transformational leadership in the most precarious of places—the church. His career spans the work of a pastor, author, conference leader, coach, and podcast producer. He teams up with Trish Taylor on the highly successful podcast The Leader's Journey.  Jim and Bill talk about how to equip people to grow in their capacity of emotional intelligence, adapt to change, and work for the common good. Most of us suffer from "infobesity"—too much fattening information; Jim and Bill present ways to slim down infobesity into effective practice. Take notes as you listen to this and share it with a friend.

In the middle of the night have you ever wrestled with the thought that the world would be better off without you? Do you ever feel like you have to pretend you're not broken and pray that your struggle doesn't get passed onto your kids as the family legacy? Do those midnight ghosts haunt you with the message that you're so messed up beyond any hope of figuring life out? Bullseye! You're not alone, ever. Joe Reid has been there so many times he's lost count. In this GuyShrink episode, he and Bill talk about how to make that daily struggle of more than barely making it to a rigorous climb up to real mental health. Joe has authored the unique Mental Health Scale that these two guys will explore and make practical use of. Joe is the author of the honest, raw and authentic book, Broken Like Me. This is no self-pity conversation but one that can empower every man. After you listen, you'll have a first-class toolkit to help you thrive. Find out more about Joe Reid and his resources by visiting https://www.broken-people.org/ 

As a successful varsity baseball player Todd learned early on that baseball, alone in sports, considers error as part of the game, part of its rigorous truth. Todd joins Bill in this episode to discuss how this truth gets played out in his own life and in his thriving practice as a life coach. Part of this conversation will take listeners down the road to consider that your personal life vision and mission can move beyond present circumstances and that you can enjoy a life that is more than just OK. Focusing on the three ideas of curiosity about where you are; developing self-regulation; and hanging in there with perseverance, will empower you to do more than just learn from mistakes but how to use misfortune as the platform from which to launch a fulfilling life. Here's another GuyShrink episode worth listening to several times.

As a young man, Tony's mom told him: "Never lose what makes you YOU." At age 13 that unique young man began a torturous journey of self-destructive behavior and near hopelessness. For three years Tony was the victim of sexual abuse and the traumatic trail it leaves for all. Ruminating on pain and revenge was a lethal cocktail that led him to drug and alcohol abuse as a way to smother the rage. Today Tony is more than a survivor, he is a resilient warrior for others in pain and sorrow. In this episode, Bill and Tony talk heart to heart, and Tony's blunt honesty speaks volumes of hope and the personal cost to not just survive, but to thrive and build a life of meaning and purpose. You will want to listen to this whole conversation several times.

Josh Bowen is the principal broker and owner of LaPlante Real Estate in Toledo where he and his team craft an expanded vision of real estate as an ethical arena where the right choices help communities to grow in healthy and functional ways. Duty and Responsibility are Josh's two guiding principles that lead him to view his three clients of owners, renters, and community, as a small town of over 8000 people. Bill and Josh discuss his personal journey through some tough ordeals and the small choices that make a big difference. They also talk about Stoicism as a discipline to help us get that life and recommend Ryan Holiday's podcast The Daily Stoic and Ryan's books. This episode will open your thought world to consider the impact you can make in your own little realm of influence and the daily habits needed to enhance a fulfilling life.

Matt Kutz is a professor of athletic training at Florida International University, and former professor at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, and a Fulbright Scholar in Rwanda. Matt and Bill have an enjoyable info-packed conversation about Contextual Intelligence as a proven way to resolve complexity and ambiguity in our decision-making. Matt goes a long way to help us think about our thinking and this episode is peppered with some funny stories, deep original thinking and lots of practical direction for those racing thoughts in our heads Enjoy.

RICHARD FERNANDEZ, PT, DPT. is a licensed physical therapist who works in a hospital-based outpatient orthopedic clinic in Toledo. He is a gifted and innovative clinician who believes that his job is less about solving a patient's problems and more about coaching him to navigate the inconsistencies of pain that many of us use to define our identity. Richard and Bill talk about the gift of pain and how we can use that physical intrusion to lead us to a new understanding of ourselves and our unique place in the world. This episode will captivate you and give you a refreshing perspective.

STEPHEN RIDELLA, Ph.D. is the Director of the Office of Defect Investigation for the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration of the Fed.  Yep, he's the seat belt guy, always looking out for consumer safety on the highway.   He is also a major thought leader in engineering organizations whose personal commitment to excellence helps form new strategies and policies for the good of all.   Stephen and Bill get down to the nitty-gritty about a subject near and dear to both of these men---growing up and being a man of integrity and goodwill.   The added gem to all this is that these two guys have known each other their whole lives as first cousins.  

KATHLEEN SMITH, PhD. is the author of the supremely enjoyable book, Everything Isn't Terrible, offering some down-to-earth, humorous, and very practical advice on managing your anxieties and fretting. She is a licensed therapist working in the most anxious city in America, Washington, DC. She is an associate faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, also in DC. Kathleen and Bill chat about calming one's self down and taking charge of one's responses to life's curveballs. We had a lot of fun on the episode and can guarantee that just by listening to her talk, you will find yourself in a new headspace. Enjoy!