Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits: Funny Bedtime Stories for Kids

Next door to Mr Morton's bookshop is a shop that confuses everyone. The sign reads Second Hand Shop, so naturally people expect bargains on old furniture and wobbly chairs. What they find instead are drawers. Hundreds of wooden drawers with neat little labels. And inside them are second hands. Not gloves. Not watches. Actual ticking, gleaming second hands from clocks.Most people back out slowly mumbling apologies. But one afternoon, a child called Lily stays. Lily is always catastrophically late for everything. Time, she feels, is personally attacking her. There is never enough of it. So when the shopkeeper explains that these golden seconds can give you one more moment when you need it, Lily buys three. Then sixty. Then hundreds.She uses them for everything. Extra seconds to tie shoelaces without her fingers going weird. Extra seconds to actually hear what Dad is saying instead of just nodding. Extra seconds to make breakfast last, to stretch a laugh, to enjoy the bit in her book where the dragon finally shows up. She is still always late, but now she is late with better quality.Then things start getting strange. Lily is using so many borrowed seconds that time around her begins behaving oddly. Her breakfast takes forty minutes while everyone else finishes in ten. Conversations with her seem to last forever. At school, she works on one maths problem for ages while everyone else races ahead. And one evening during dinner, every single second she has used that day activates at once. Time around Lily lurches. The kitchen slows to almost nothing. Dad is frozen mid sentence. Mum is paused reaching for salt. But Lily is moving at normal speed, which means she is trapped in a world where everyone else has stopped.What follows is a thoughtful, gently magical story about the paradox of time. About trying to make moments last longer and discovering that the best time is actually when you forget time exists completely. When an hour vanishes while you are reading because you are so absorbed the clock disappears. Lily learns this not through a lecture, but through experience, returning her unused seconds and discovering something real about how time actually works.This is a funny bedtime story for kids who are always rushing, always late, always wishing there were more hours in the day. It is also for parents who recognise that feeling of time slipping away and would quite like a story that explores it with warmth and wonder instead of stress. The story has magical shop mystery, frozen time moments that feel genuinely strange, and a resolution that lands somewhere thoughtful and cosy.Perfect for family listening when you want audio stories for children that make everyone think as well as smile, for bedtime when you need a calming bedtime story with a bit of mystery and magic, or for car journeys when the kids storytelling podcast needs to be clever enough to keep older children engaged. The chaos builds as Lily uses more seconds, the frozen kitchen scene is wonderfully odd, and then it all settles into something gentle and true.If you are searching for funny bedtime stories for kids with thoughtful themes, wholesome humour that respects intelligence, and a bedtime story podcast that never lectures but still leaves everyone feeling something real, this second hand shop is waiting next door.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 14 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that turn big ideas into warm, silly adventures.

The Thing That Became Nothing ⚽👨‍👦Every parent tries to take an interest in what their child loves. It is practically in the small print of the job description. But what happens when Dad takes that interest so seriously it transforms into a full scale mission of wholesome chaos.Tommy wants a simple father and son hobby. Normal things. Sensible things. A kick about in the garden on Sunday afternoons. Building a model aeroplane at the kitchen table. Reading a book together before bed. The sort of quiet family bonding that is meant to make everyone feel cosy and connected without taking over your entire life.Dad agrees. This sounds lovely. This sounds manageable. This sounds like responsible parenting.Then Dad escalates.Because Dad does not just join in. He commits. Completely. Utterly. With the kind of determined enthusiasm that starts as a lovely idea and grows into something slightly alarming, slightly brilliant, and definitely not what Tommy had in mind when he suggested kicking a football around for twenty minutes.What should be a calm shared activity becomes a hilarious spiral of over eager parenting. There are plans. There are schedules. There are levels of organisation that feel wildly unnecessary for a hobby that is supposed to be relaxing. There is equipment appearing that nobody asked for. There is accidental competitiveness creeping in. And there is Tommy slowly realising that grown ups are very strange creatures when they decide they are being helpful and supportive.The hobby grows. It gets bigger. Stranger. More elaborate. Far more ridiculous than anyone could have possibly expected. Because when someone decides they are going to be the BEST at supporting their child's interests, common sense often takes a holiday and does not leave a forwarding address.This episode is a funny bedtime story for kids who love watching adults get things wonderfully wrong, and for tired parents who want a bedtime story podcast that entertains them too without feeling like homework. It is warm, kind hearted, never mean, and full of the sort of recognisable family chaos that makes everyone nod and think, yes, that is exactly what would happen.The laughs build as Dad gets more enthusiastic and Tommy gets more bewildered. The silliness piles up in the most delightful way. And then the ending lands softly with that feeling of being safe, loved, and ready to switch off the light. Because sometimes the best thing you can do together is absolutely nothing at all.If your house enjoys audio stories for children that feel like real life with a ridiculous left turn, this one is a treat. Expect gentle comedy, family warmth, and the comforting reminder that being together matters more than being busy. Perfect for family listening when you want a kids storytelling podcast that makes children giggle and parents feel seen, or at bedtime when you want funny bedtime stories for kids that settle into calm instead of winding everyone up.The story builds energy and laughs but ends in a place that helps bedtime actually happen, making it a brilliant calming bedtime story choice for households that need wholesome humour with a cosy landing.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is performance driven storytelling that turns everyday family moments into warm, silly adventures. Kind hearted, never mean, and always safe for bedtime.Episode length: approximately 12 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that make bedtime easier and make grown ups smile too.

The Bicycles That Wouldn't Work 🚲⚙️Joe and Sam have been saving for months. Every coin. Every shiny bit of pocket money. Every heroic act of not buying sweets when the temptation was overwhelming. Today is finally the day they march into Pedalot's Bicycle Emporium to buy their dream bicycles.Pedalot's is bursting with bikes of every shape, size, bell, basket, and unnecessarily exciting handlebar streamers. There are bicycles that gleam. There are bicycles that look fast even when standing still. There are bicycles with so many gears it seems excessive. Mr Pedalot loves bicycles with the sort of devotion normally reserved for newborn puppies and very fancy biscuits. He is helpful, enthusiastic, and the kind of man who might have strong feelings about proper chain maintenance.The boys choose their bikes. They are magnificent. Perfect. Everything they hoped for. They pay with coins counted out carefully on the counter. They wheel their new bicycles out onto the high street with enormous grins and plans to ride all the way home showing off to absolutely everyone.Then everything goes spectacularly wrong.Disaster strikes on the high street in the way that only bicycle disasters can. Wobbling begins. Mechanical sounds that should not be happening start happening. The sort of crunching noise that makes your stomach drop. And suddenly the boys are stranded miles from home with no money left, no repair kit, and two bicycles that have apparently decided to stop working at the worst possible moment.Panic rises. The street is busy. The bikes refuse to cooperate. Joe and Sam stand there trying to figure out what to do next when they stumble, quite by accident, into the Soggy Biscuit Tea Shop.Mrs Crumbleton runs the Soggy Biscuit with warmth, tea, and the sort of practical common sense that only comes from years of dealing with minor catastrophes. Her shop smells like comfort and baked goods. Her cups are mismatched but perfect. And when two boys arrive looking lost with two broken bicycles, she does not panic. She listens. She serves tea. And then she suggests a solution that nobody would ever find in a bicycle repair manual but somehow makes complete and utter sense.What follows is a joyful, slightly bonkers rescue mission involving creativity, teamwork, and the discovery that sometimes the best help comes from the most unexpected places. There is problem solving. There is quick thinking. There is the warm glow of realising that when things go wrong, there are still kind people in the world who will help you find a way forward.This is a kids storytelling podcast episode full of friendship, adventure, and the kind of wholesome chaos that feels oddly true to life. It is the perfect audio story for children who like stories that start ordinary and become wonderfully strange. Parents will enjoy the warm humour, the gentle pace, and the satisfying calm at the end that makes it a lovely calming bedtime story choice.Perfect for family listening during car journeys when you need something engaging, after school when everyone needs to wind down, or at bedtime when you want funny bedtime stories for kids that settle into something cosy. If you are searching for wholesome humour, problem solving adventures, and a bedtime story podcast that makes tired parents smile too, this bicycle disaster is exactly what you need.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 9 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf your family enjoyed this funny kids podcast moment, a quick rating helps other tired parents find it too.

The Wolf Who Couldn't Help Himself 🐺🍽️Winston Wolf is the most feared food critic on Wibbleton Way. One bad review from him and a restaurant can expect flames, floods, or complete structural failure by the end of the week. Winston does not write these reviews lightly. He is precise, serious, and absolutely convinced that terrible cooking should never be allowed to continue unchallenged.Then three wildly enthusiastic pigs open three restaurants on the same street at the same time.Winston can smell trouble before he even opens the menus. He can also smell burnt gravy, undercooked pastry, and something that might be soup but could equally be an incident waiting to happen. The restaurants are called Straw Cuisine, Stick Bistro, and The Brick Oven, which should have been Winston's first warning that these pigs have more enthusiasm than actual cooking ability.At first, Winston plans to do what any sensible food critic wolf would do. Write a review. Give them one star. Walk away. Let the pigs learn from their mistakes in their own time like responsible adults. Job done. Problem solved.But then he tastes the food. And it is spectacularly, impressively, almost artistically awful. The sort of bad that makes you wonder how someone can put ingredients together in exactly the wrong order and still produce something that technically qualifies as a meal. Winston writes his review. The restaurant does not improve. Winston writes another review. The pigs smile, nod enthusiastically, and continue serving food that should come with a warning label.And that is when something inside Winston snaps. Because when you know how things should be done, it is surprisingly difficult to watch other people do them so badly, especially when those people are cheerful about their incompetence and seem entirely unbothered by the fact that their mashed potato has the texture of wallpaper paste.Winston starts getting involved. Just small suggestions at first. Tiny helpful comments about seasoning and cooking times. But helpful comments turn into longer explanations. Longer explanations turn into demonstrations. Demonstrations turn into Winston standing in someone else's kitchen, wearing an apron, running three restaurants simultaneously because apparently nobody else is capable of doing it properly.The comedy builds as Winston tries and fails to stop interfering, the pigs keep cheerfully accepting his help without actually learning anything, and the whole situation spirals into something ridiculous. There are menus that should not exist. There are meals that behave like they are alive. There is a wolf who desperately wants to walk away but cannot seem to stop himself from fixing everything.This story twists a familiar fairy tale into something deliciously odd and recognisable. It is for kids who like a bit of gentle menace without anything truly nasty, and for parents who want wholesome humour with bite that still lands warm. Children will enjoy the silly food disasters and the increasingly frantic wolf. Grown ups will recognise the feeling of trying to fix someone else's mess and somehow making it bigger.Perfect for family listening when you want audio stories for children that feel clever, a kids storytelling podcast episode that makes everyone smile, or at bedtime when you want funny bedtime stories for kids that build laughs then settle into something softer. The story escalates beautifully, then lands in a place that feels safe enough for a calming bedtime story.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 18 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downSubscribe for more cosy bedtime story adventures that feel weird in the best possible way.

Penelope Puddleworth's Perfect Problem 👑✨Penelope Puddleworth wakes up one morning with a brand new certainty. She is perfect. Not quite perfect. Not mostly perfect. Properly, completely, magnificently perfect. Possibly the most perfect person who has ever lived, and certainly the most perfect person in her school, on her street, or in the entire town if she is being honest about it.At first, this feels marvellous. School becomes easier when you are convinced you already know everything. Problems vanish when you believe you are too perfect to have them. People seem smaller. Penelope seems taller. Better. Finer. Superior in every measurable way. It is oddly satisfying in the playground to look down at everyone and think, yes, I am clearly winning at being a person today.Then the day unfolds, and perfection starts behaving in a very strange way.Because perfection is not just a feeling you carry around in your head. It is a thing. A physical thing. And the more Penelope insists on being superior to everyone around her, the more awkward it becomes to actually exist in the world. Friendships start wobbling. Conversations go sideways. The playground turns into a place where being the best is suddenly not the same as belonging, and belonging starts to feel more important than Penelope expected.Doors become difficult to fit through when you are convinced you are larger than life. Chairs feel wrong when you believe you are too good to sit in them like a normal person. Other children stop inviting you to join their games when you keep announcing that you could do it better if you bothered, which you will not, because you are far too perfect to bother with their silly activities.By lunchtime, Penelope is eating alone. By afternoon break, she is standing by herself near the fence, looking at groups of children laughing together and wondering when everyone else became so small and she became so isolated. By home time, perfection does not feel marvellous anymore. It feels lonely. Heavy. Like carrying around a balloon that has grown so large it is lifting you off the ground and away from everyone you actually care about.This episode is funny, thoughtful, and gently bonkers in equal measure. It is for clever kids who enjoy a story that makes them giggle and think at the same time, and for parents who want a bedtime story podcast that has warmth and kindness at its heart without feeling like a lecture disguised as entertainment. The humour is silly on the surface, with recognisable truths tucked underneath about confidence, friendship, and what actually matters when you are trying to figure out who you are.Perfect for family listening after school when everyone needs to wind down, during car journeys when the mood needs lifting, or at bedtime when you want a kids storytelling podcast episode that builds with fun then lands softly enough that sleep can actually happen. If you are searching for funny bedtime stories for kids that are not mean, not preachy, and still genuinely entertaining for grown ups who are tired of nursery rhyme nonsense, Penelope's perfectly peculiar day is a lovely place to start.The story builds with silly moments and recognisable playground dynamics, then settles into something warm and gentle that makes it a brilliant calming bedtime story choice for audio stories for children that help everyone feel a bit softer by the end.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 13 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more family listening stories that feel like a cuddle with a silly hat on.

Wendy Wobblewand and the Bonkers Brew 🧙‍♀️✨At the end of Wobble Street lives a witch with a bent wand, socks that never match, and a reputation for potions that are far too sparkly for polite magical society. Wendy Wobblewand has tried doing magic properly. Measuring carefully. Following rules exactly as written. Keeping ingredients in alphabetical order. Maintaining eyebrow positions at all times. Behaving like a serious witch should.It did not go well. In fact, it went spectacularly badly in ways that are still being discussed at the annual Witches Guild meetings with concerned head shaking.So on one moonlit evening, Wendy decides she is done with neat. She is done with proper. She is done with trying to make magic behave like a chemistry experiment when it clearly wants to be something else entirely. She is going to brew magic the way she believes it should be made. With curiosity, confidence, and a cheerful disregard for official magical standards that would make her instructors faint.The cauldron is warmed. The fire crackles with what sounds suspiciously like approval. The ingredients arrive in a wobbling parade, some hopping, some rolling, one doing a little dance across the kitchen counter. The wooden spoon begins to hum like it is pleased with itself for the first time in years. And then an unexpected helper appears, right when Wendy is one wrong sprinkle away from turning the whole kitchen into a very polite puddle.From there, everything gets fizzier. Because this is not the sort of potion that sits quietly and behaves like a textbook illustration. This is the sort of bonkers brew that reacts to feelings, opinions, and the general idea that rules might be slightly overrated. It bubbles when Wendy doubts herself. It sparkles when she dares to be brave. It does something very strange indeed when she finally decides that being odd might not be a problem that needs fixing.The cauldron glows. The kitchen fills with colours that do not have proper names yet. The potion begins to sing, which is absolutely not in any instruction manual Wendy has ever read. And somewhere in the chaos, Wendy discovers that the best magic does not come from following every rule perfectly. It comes from trusting yourself, even when yourself is wearing mismatched socks and wielding a wand that bends left when it should go straight.This episode is a warm kids storytelling podcast adventure for children who love witches, magical mishaps, and stories where the funny bits come from things going slightly wrong in a kind hearted way. It is also for grown ups who want audio stories for children that feel cosy, clever, and genuinely enjoyable to listen to without falling asleep from boredom. Wholesome humour, gentle silliness, and a soft landing at the end mean bedtime does not turn into a trampoline session.Perfect for family listening on a rainy afternoon when everyone needs cheering up, a school run that could use a bit of wonder, or bedtime when you want giggles that settle into calm instead of bouncing round the room. If you are searching for funny bedtime stories for kids with magical characters, creativity, and a calming bedtime story ending that helps tired parents actually get everyone to sleep, Wendy's wonky wand is ready to work its magic.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits delivers family audio stories with theatrical warmth, silly surprises, and kind hearted endings you can trust.Episode length: approximately 11 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that feel like a cuddle with a silly hat on.

Mrs Puddifoot does not care for New Year's Eve. It is cold, loud, and full of people shouting at the sky as if the sky has done something personal. Mrs Puddifoot would much rather stay indoors with a kettle, a biscuit, and a firm commitment to letting the year change without her involvement.Unfortunately, the next year has other plans.Because a polite stranger appears on her doorstep and claims, in the calm voice of someone asking for directions, that he is early for the new year. Not early for a party. Early for the year itself. He apologises for the inconvenience and asks if he might wait on the doorstep until midnight when he can officially begin.Mrs Puddifoot stares at him. The stranger smiles pleasantly and produces a thermos of tea.And then, as if this is perfectly normal, more people begin to arrive. Quiet people. Cheerful people. Determined people. All forming a queue that starts at Mrs Puddifoot's front door and stretches through the town, up the hill, and steadily towards midnight. They are queuing for the new year like it is a bus service or a bakery opening.Mrs Puddifoot does not want a queue. Mrs Puddifoot does not want visitors. Mrs Puddifoot definitely does not want to be responsible for organising the next year like it is a community event she accidentally volunteered to host.So she does the only sensible thing. She tries to ignore it. She closes the curtains. She makes herself tea. She sits in her armchair with a book and pretends nothing unusual is happening outside.This becomes increasingly difficult when the queue begins to develop its own mood, its own rules, and its own gentle stubbornness. There are murmured resolutions. There is the peculiar comfort of standing near strangers who are all waiting for the same moment. There is hope mixed with nervousness, all wrapped up in a line of people who have decided that this year, they are not going to let it just happen to them.Eventually, Mrs Puddifoot opens the door. Not because she wants to join in. But because ignoring something does not make it go away, and sometimes the thing you are avoiding is actually the thing you need. What follows is a gentle, bonkers journey through conversations with people waiting for change, hoping for better, and queuing politely because that is what you do when something important is about to begin.This is a cosy bedtime story that is funny in a quiet way, magical in a slightly odd way, and warm in the way tired parents need. Children will enjoy the absurd idea of queuing for a year, the odd characters who appear, and the soft sense of something special unfolding. Grown ups will recognise the feeling underneath. That worry about missing your moment. That hope that maybe this time you will join in instead of watching from the doorway.Perfect for family listening on winter evenings, for after school wind down, or at bedtime when you want audio stories for children that settle gently. If you are searching for funny bedtime stories for kids with warmth, a kids storytelling podcast that feels thoughtful, and wholesome humour that lands soft, this queue is waiting.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 12 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf this made your family smile, a quick rating helps other stories for tired parents find their way to it too.

The Bauble Who Saved My Christmas ✨🎁Once upon a Christmas Eve, a grumpy bookshop keeper meets a box of tangled fairy lights, and a very mischievous magical bauble decides it has had enough of being treated like a decoration. It wants to be important. It wants to be in charge. It wants to cause a tiny bit of festive trouble, in the most cheerful way possible.The bookshop keeper is not interested in festive trouble. He is interested in quiet. Order. Proper shelves arranged by author and genre. Calm customers who know what they want and leave promptly. He has survived enough Decembers to know that Christmas cheer is lovely as long as it stays several streets away from his shop. His window display is minimal. His decorations are non existent. His commitment to ignoring the season is impressively stubborn.But then the bauble arrives. Delivered in a box. Rolling across the floor with intention. And it is not just shiny. It is persuasive. It twinkles like it has a plan. It makes suggestions that sound entirely reasonable until you think about them properly. It rolls into the wrong places on purpose, positioning itself exactly where it cannot be ignored.At first, the bookshop keeper tries to put it away. Then he tries to return it. Then he tries to pretend it does not exist. None of these strategies work because the bauble has decided this bookshop needs Christmas whether it wants it or not.The bauble starts small. A wish here. A little sparkle there. A reluctant nod to the season. But Christmas Eve has a habit of escalating, and this bauble has the sort of personality that turns a small wish into a whirlwind. The fairy lights tangle themselves with clear intention, wrapping around shelves in patterns that look almost deliberate. The bookshop begins to feel less like a serious place of literature and more like a story that is writing itself. Books start appearing in unexpected places with oddly relevant titles. Customers arrive looking for things they did not know they needed.And the grumpy keeper discovers something surprising. It is surprisingly hard to stay frosty when the world keeps offering you a chance to soften, especially when a magical bauble is orchestrating the whole thing with the determination of a tiny festive director who refuses to take no for an answer.This episode is a festive audio story for children who love Christmas magic, silly surprises, and stories where objects behave as if they have feelings and opinions. It is also for grown ups who want wholesome humour that does not shout, and a funny kids podcast episode that still lands warm and cosy. The laughter is gentle, the chaos is kind, and the ending settles softly into something that feels like a hug, which makes it a lovely choice for bedtime in December.Perfect for family listening while wrapping presents and trying not to get tape stuck everywhere, driving home in the dark with Christmas lights blinking outside the windows, or curling up together when everyone needs a calming bedtime story that still feels fun and festive. If you are looking for a kids storytelling podcast that captures Christmas warmth without being saccharine, and funny bedtime stories for kids that make tired parents smile too, this mischievous bauble is exactly what December ordered.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 10 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that make Christmas feel a little bit kinder and a lot more silly.

You already know the opening line. You already know the hush it creates when it is spoken softly, in a darkened room, with the day finally done. This is the classic Christmas poem told the way it is meant to be told. Warmly. Clearly. With space to breathe and settle.On a quiet Christmas Eve, the house finally stills. The last rustle of wrapping paper fades into silence. The final sip of water is taken. The excitement of the day begins to soften into something calmer. And then the story begins. Stockings hung by the chimney with care. The clatter on the lawn. Reindeer on the roof. That particular kind of Christmas magic that only exists when everyone agrees to be still for a moment and let the words paint the picture.This is not a new version. This is not a twist. This is the poem you remember, performed with theatrical warmth and gentle pacing, so every familiar line lands exactly as it should. No interruptions. No additions. Just the rhythm, the wonder, and the cosy certainty of knowing what comes next.This episode is a short, comforting listen for families who love bedtime traditions, classic Christmas storytelling, and a calm festive moment that does not wind children up before sleep. It is perfect when you want something familiar and soothing, whether that is at bedtime on Christmas Eve itself, during a late evening car journey home through twinkling lights, or as a little pause in the middle of busy December when everyone needs to slow down and breathe.Children will enjoy the rhythm, the pictures it paints in their minds, and the cosy certainty of a story that has been shared for generations. Grown ups will enjoy the sense of slowing down, the warmth of tradition, and the gentle feeling it leaves behind. No chaos. No surprises. Just comfort.If you are looking for a calming bedtime story at Christmas, or a bedtime story podcast moment you can play as part of your Christmas Eve routine year after year, this is a lovely little piece of audio comfort that does exactly what it promises. Soft, steady, and safe for the most excited night of the year.Perfect for family listening when you need everyone to settle, when bedtime feels impossible because of Christmas morning anticipation, or when you want a kids storytelling podcast episode that wraps the day up gently and helps tired parents guide everyone towards sleep.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 3 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf your family enjoyed this, share it with someone who loves a cosy Christmas bedtime tradition.

Christmas Eve is meant to be a smooth little sleigh ride into bedtime. Calm, organised, magical. But what if the elves decide they have had enough and go on strike right when everyone is counting on them.Up at the North Pole, the workshop is in absolute uproar. The elves are holding emergency meetings with agendas and suspiciously official paperwork. Someone is waving a banner that reads "Fair Treatment for Festive Workers" in glitter. Someone else is shouting about overtime and the unreasonable expectation that they should work through Christmas when everyone else gets the day off. The biscuit negotiations have officially begun, and they are not going well.Meanwhile, the toys are misbehaving. Teddy bears are staging their own mini protest. Dolls have formed a committee. The toy trains are refusing to stay on their tracks out of solidarity. It is chaos on a scale the North Pole has never seen, and Christmas Eve is ticking closer.At first, it feels like the sort of festive problem that can be solved with a sensible chat and perhaps a reasonable compromise about biscuit supplies. Then someone mentions the Great Biscuit Shortage of 1847. Then someone else brings up a forgotten argument from 1623 about the Reindeer Incident. Seven hundred years of buried grievances come tumbling out like an avalanche of unresolved workplace disputes.Everybody has a different plan. Everybody thinks their plan is the only sensible option. Nobody is listening because they are all too busy explaining why they are right. The clock keeps ticking. The sleigh sits empty. The workshop descends further into festive anarchy. And somewhere in the middle, someone realises this entire disaster comes down to three things. Teamwork, timing, and a truly heroic quantity of biscuits.What follows is a frantic scramble to save Christmas involving compromise, chaos, forgotten traditions suddenly becoming relevant, and last minute problem solving that only happens when everybody finally agrees to work together. There are dramatic speeches. There are biscuit based peace treaties. There are moments where Christmas might not happen at all, followed by moments where everything clicks into place.This is a funny bedtime story for kids who love Christmas magic mixed with mayhem, elves with opinions, and the cosy kind of festive chaos where everything goes wrong in a silly way but nobody is being mean. It is also for grown ups who know what it feels like when deadlines arrive at the worst moment.Perfect for family listening during the Christmas countdown, when you want audio stories for children that feel seasonal and silly, or at bedtime when you want a kids storytelling podcast episode that builds excitement but still lands warm. The laughs pile up, the tension rises in a fun way, then it settles into something softer, making it a proper bedtime story podcast choice.If you are searching for funny bedtime stories for kids that capture Christmas chaos with wholesome humour and a cosy ending, this North Pole disaster is exactly what your household needs.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome humour and performance driven storytelling with a bonkers twist, always kind hearted, never mean.Episode length: approximately 10 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that make bedtime easier and give tired parents a breather.

A Christmas tree should do one job. Stand there. Look festive. Accept baubles without complaint. Hold the angel upright. Provide a pleasant backdrop for presents. This one has other plans.Dad brings home a Norwegian spruce from Bob's Festive Forest, wrestles it through the front door with the kind of determination that only happens in December, and sets it up in the living room with a satisfied nod. Job done. Tree acquired. Christmas officially beginning.Then the tree starts leaning. Not a tiny wobble either. Proper angles. The sort of lean that makes baubles roll off like they are evacuating a sinking ship. The angel makes a dramatic dive for freedom and has to be rescued from behind the sofa. Dad stares at the tree. The tree leans harder, as if making a point.Dad tries everything he can think of. Books wedged underneath. Rope tied to the curtain rail. Furniture rearranged to provide structural support. Industrial strength solutions that feel wildly over engineered for a tree. He talks to it sternly, as if the tree might respond to a firm tone and a disappointed expression. Nothing works. It keeps leaning left, with purpose, like it is following secret instructions that nobody else can see.Sophie thinks the whole thing is hilarious. Until she hears it. Tap tap tap. The tiniest drilling sound. Coming from inside the branches.And that is when this stops being a mildly annoying Christmas problem and becomes a full blown festive mystery. Because the tree is not empty. Something is living in there. Something small. Something busy. Something that has very clear opinions about balance, architecture, and what a Christmas tree should really be used for when you think about it properly.What follows is a wonderfully silly investigation involving torches, whispered theories, careful branch parting, and the discovery that sometimes the thing ruining your Christmas traditions is actually making them far more interesting. There are tiny hammering sounds. There are woodchips appearing in suspicious places. There is the dawning realisation that this tree came with passengers, and those passengers have been working on a project.This is a cosy Christmas story for children who love funny surprises, tiny mysterious creatures with big plans, and the kind of household chaos that starts with tinsel and ends with everyone crowding round the tree like it is the most exciting thing in the world. It is also for grown ups who have ever thought, why is this simple tradition suddenly taking my entire evening and turning into an engineering challenge.Perfect for a Christmas countdown listen when you want audio stories for children that feel seasonal and silly, a school run that needs cheering up, or a calming bedtime story that still has enough mystery and giggles to keep everyone engaged. The laughs build as the tree gets wobblier and the mystery deepens, then it lands warm and settled, which is exactly what tired parents want at the end of the day.If you are searching for funny bedtime stories for kids with Christmas magic, wholesome humour, and a kids storytelling podcast episode that makes family listening feel like a treat, this leaning tree adventure is a brilliant choice.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is audio stories for children told with theatrical warmth, wholesome chaos, and a gentle ending you can trust.Episode length: approximately 11 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf this made your family smile, a quick follow helps other families find this funny kids podcast.

A goldfish is supposed to forget things. That is the whole reputation. Three second memory. Clean slate every moment. Blissfully unaware of grudges, complaints, or the concept of payback. But what if one tiny goldfish remembers one thing for just a bit too long, and decides it is time for revenge.In a classroom, there is a fish tank. Inside the fish tank, there is a castle. Inside the castle lives a goldfish with a very specific problem. Every single day, at approximately two fifteen in the afternoon, a pencil starts tapping on the glass. Tap tap tap. Rhythmic, relentless, absolutely maddening.At first, the goldfish does what goldfish do. He forgets about it three seconds later and goes back to swimming his usual loop around the plastic treasure chest. But then it happens again. And again. And slowly, impossibly, against all goldfish biology, the memory starts to stick.The goldfish begins to notice patterns. The pencil tapping happens during maths. It is always the same child. The same smug face pressed against the glass. The same irritating rhythm that makes the water vibrate in a way that is deeply, personally offensive.The goldfish decides something must be done.What follows is the most ridiculous training montage in aquatic history. The goldfish practices. He strategises. He uses the castle as a base of operations. He enlists help from a snail who moves so slowly it takes three days to hear the full plan but agrees anyway because snails are loyal like that. There are pebbles that start wobbling at suspicious moments. There is green slime appearing in places where green slime has absolutely no business being. There are bubbles that seem to pop with intention.The classroom begins to notice that something odd is happening near the fish tank. Pencils go missing. Homework gets mysteriously damp. The castle, which used to sit peacefully at the bottom of the tank, now seems to loom with quiet menace. And the goldfish, who previously looked vacant and content, now has an expression that can only be described as focused.The pencil tapping child starts to feel nervous. The tapping becomes less confident. The smug face pressed against the glass begins to look worried. Because there is something deeply unsettling about being outsmarted by a creature with a brain the size of a pea and a memory that technically should not be working this well.This is a funny bedtime story for kids who love school stories, mischievous animals, ridiculous classroom drama, and the glorious idea that even the smallest creature can have a big plan. It is also for grown ups who have sat through one too many evenings of homework stress and would quite like to laugh about the absurdity of school life from a safe distance. The story is a kids storytelling podcast gem that feels bonkers but still safe, kind, and wholesome.Perfect for family listening after school when homework tension is building, during car journeys when everyone needs a giggle, or at bedtime when you want silliness that eventually winds down into calm. The mayhem bubbles away beautifully, the revenge plot thickens in the most ridiculous way possible, and then the story settles into a warm ending that makes it a cosy bedtime story choice.If you are searching for audio stories for children with silly suspense, animal characters with personality, and funny bedtime stories for kids that make tired parents smile too, this goldfish is ready to teach everyone a lesson about underestimating the little guy.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is performance driven storytelling full of warmth, oddness, and heart.Episode length: approximately 11 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downFollow the show for more stories for tired parents and clever kids who like their nonsense kind hearted.

The Ghost Who Wasn't Scary 👻🌙A haunted house should have one very clear purpose. Be scary. Properly, bone chillingly, scream inducingly scary. This particular haunted house has a ghost called Lumpy, and Lumpy is trying his absolute best, but unfortunately he is a bit wobbly, a bit bumpy, and not frightening a single soul.There are creaky floorboards. There are shadows flickering in exactly the right spooky way. There are whispers echoing through empty corridors. There is moonlight streaming through dusty windows creating perfect ghost lighting. Everything is set for a proper Halloween fright. The house has done its job beautifully. The atmosphere is thick with menace.And then Lumpy drifts into view and immediately ruins the entire mood.Because Lumpy is not terrifying. Lumpy is oddly adorable. He floats with all the grace of a slightly deflated balloon. He attempts dramatic poses but ends up looking like he is doing gentle yoga. When he tries to moan ominously, it comes out more like a worried hum. He is less like a vengeful spirit and more like a flustered marshmallow who has accidentally wandered into the wrong job.Tonight is Halloween. Children are arriving with torches in hand and brave faces carefully arranged. They have come specifically to be scared. They want shivers. They want jumps. They want to run screaming back to their parents with thrilling stories about how terrifying the haunted house was.Lumpy is determined not to disappoint them.He practises his scariest moves. He rehearses his most chilling wails. He positions himself in a beam of moonlight like it is his big theatrical moment, ready to sweep forward with maximum spookiness. He has a whole routine planned. It is going to be magnificent. Terrifying. The sort of haunting that gets talked about for weeks.Then the children arrive, Lumpy launches into his carefully prepared performance, and everything goes spectacularly wrong.He drifts forward with what he hopes is menacing purpose but trips over his own ghostly tail. He attempts to loom dramatically but accidentally floats too high and bonks his head on a chandelier. He tries for a blood curdling scream but it comes out as a surprised squeak. The more he tries to be frightening, the more chaotic it becomes. His sheet gets tangled. His timing goes completely off. He knocks over a candelabra, apologises immediately, then remembers he is supposed to be terrifying and tries to un apologise, which somehow makes it worse.The children start giggling. Then they start properly laughing. That helpless kind of laughter that makes it completely impossible to be scared even if you were planning to be.This is a gentle Halloween story that is spooky in the fun way, not the nightmare way. Perfect for kids who want haunted house vibes without actual fear, and for parents who want a funny audio story that still settles down at the end instead of causing bedtime chaos. If you are looking for a bedtime story podcast episode with wholesome humour, a kind ending, and Halloween atmosphere that stays playful, Lumpy is your ghost.The silliness builds beautifully, the failed scares pile up in the most delightful way, and then it lands in a warm place that makes it safe for bedtime. Perfect for family listening during Halloween week, for kids who are nervous about spooky season, or for after school wind down when you want seasonal fun without nightmares.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is family storytelling with wholesome chaos, performance first, and not a mean bone in it.Episode length: approximately 11 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf your household enjoyed Lumpy, follow the show for more calming bedtime story mischief that makes everyone smile.

The Leaf That Refused to Fall 🍂🍃Cornelius is a leaf in Willowbrook Park with one firm belief. He is not falling. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. While every other leaf in the entire park cheerfully flutters off to do autumn properly, Cornelius clings to his branch like it is the last sensible thing left in the world.It starts as a simple act of stubbornness. Cornelius watches the other leaves drift down in twirls and spirals, landing in enormous piles that children stomp through with absolute delight. He is not impressed. Falling looks chaotic. Falling looks windy. Falling looks unpredictable. Falling looks like the sort of thing that ends with a pigeon laughing at you, and Cornelius has his dignity to consider.So he grips. He holds on. He ignores the gentle suggestions from neighbouring leaves who keep drifting past with cheerful waves and encouraging shouts about how lovely it is down there. Cornelius is staying exactly where he is, thank you very much.Then the biggest storm in fifty years arrives.The wind does not ask permission. The rain does not negotiate. The whole park begins to roar and shake, branches whipping about like they are trying to escape their own trees. Cornelius grips harder. His veins ache. His edges flutter in a way that feels deeply undignified. And then, in one enormous gust, his grip fails entirely.One moment Cornelius is clinging to that branch with heroic determination, the next he is airborne, spinning like a tiny helicopter, completely out of control. He ricochets off the tail of a very surprised squirrel who was minding its own business gathering acorns. He bounces past a crow with the most judgemental face Cornelius has ever seen. He tumbles through the air in ways that would be graceful if they were not so obviously accidental.And then he lands. On the pond. In the most undignified splash imaginable.That is when Geoffrey the duck gets involved. Geoffrey was having a perfectly normal day. Geoffrey did not request a leaf passenger. Geoffrey is also not the sort of duck who enjoys surprises, especially leaf shaped ones that land on his head whilst he is trying to have a peaceful paddle.But Cornelius is now on a journey. A ridiculous autumn adventure through mud, wind, puddles, and the sort of unexpected moments that only happen when you finally let go of the thing you thought was keeping you safe. He skitters across wet grass. He gets stuck to a dog's nose. He flies into a bush and has to negotiate his way out past three confused sparrows. He discovers that falling is not the disaster he imagined. It is chaotic, yes. It is unpredictable, absolutely. But it is also oddly exciting.This is a funny bedtime story for kids who love nature stories with personality, animal side characters, and silly chaos that still feels safe. It is also for grown ups who want audio stories for children that make everyone laugh without winding the house up before sleep. The comedy builds beautifully with the storm, the characters are ridiculous in the best way, and then the story settles into a warm ending that makes it a lovely cosy bedtime story.Perfect for family listening in autumn when the leaves are actually falling outside, for after school wind down when everyone is feeling a bit wobbly, or at bedtime when you want giggles that calm down instead of bouncing off the ceiling. If you are searching for wholesome humour and funny bedtime stories for kids with a gentle message about bravery, Cornelius is ready to prove that the scary bit is sometimes the fun bit.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 9 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf Cornelius made your child laugh, follow the show for more stories that turn ordinary moments into wholesome chaos.

Sir Slides a Lot is the most spectacular slide in all of Grumpshaw, possibly in all of England, and it is absolutely furious. Furious about sticky bottoms. Furious about muddy shoes. Furious about chocolate crumbs. Furious about the sheer audacity of children arriving at a perfectly polished slide and expecting it to behave like a normal playground object.Sir Slides a Lot has standards. Very high standards. The sort that involve daily complaints, dramatic sighing, and a growing sense that nobody appreciates the effort it takes to be this shiny.At first, Sir Slides a Lot simply complains in the way that only a very dramatic piece of playground equipment can. It mutters. It groans when children climb the ladder. It makes pointed comments about the state of modern childhood. But complaining does not teach anyone a lesson. Complaining does not create the sort of legendary reputation that Sir Slides a Lot believes it deserves.So the slide hatches a plan. A proper plan. A plan so ridiculous that it can only have been invented by something made entirely of polished metal and wounded pride. The goal is simple. Teach everyone a lesson. Become respected. Possibly become feared.So Sir Slides a Lot begins launching children into the air like tiny human cannonballs. Not dangerously. Just enthusiastically enough that bottoms leave the slide surface entirely, jackets flap like capes, and landings happen in places that are not technically part of the playground. It is chaotic. It is hilarious. It is also the sort of thing that cannot continue for very long without a responsible adult making a phone call.Soon the slide is removed, loaded onto a truck with no ceremony whatsoever, and dumped in a scrapyard. Sir Slides a Lot considers this deeply insulting. Then it meets Bernie.Bernie is not what the slide expects. Bernie is a man who has built an entire life around sliding. Bernie slides backwards. Bernie slides while wearing buckets on his head. Bernie slides while juggling tennis balls, playing the harmonica, and occasionally doing both at once. Bernie is, in short, a person who has discovered that being joyfully ridiculous is far more fun than being perfectly impressive.And that is when Sir Slides a Lot begins to change its mind about what life is actually for.This is a funny kids podcast episode for children who love playground stories, cheeky objects with enormous opinions, and the delicious idea of a slide getting exactly what it deserves. It is also for parents who enjoy clever silliness and the quiet truth tucked underneath. That perfection is not nearly as satisfying as play. That being respected is not nearly as fun as being enjoyed.The laughs pile up as the slide gets grumpier, the chaos escalates beautifully, and then the story lands warm and soft, making it a brilliant bedtime story podcast choice when you want energy that builds then settles into calm.Perfect for family listening on the school run, during a rainy afternoon when the actual playground is off limits, or at bedtime when you want giggles that wind down gently. If you are looking for audio stories for children with wholesome humour and a cosy ending, Grumpshaw playground is ready.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits delivers performance driven storytelling with warmth, ridiculous characters, and endings that always settle softly.Episode length: approximately 13 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf your household now wants to visit every slide in town to check for grumpiness, follow the show for more wholesome chaos that makes bedtime easier.

Teagan Mumbleton is seven years old and owns the most magnificent dummy collection in history. There are glow in the dark dummies that light up like tiny moons. There are dummies that predict the weather with uncanny accuracy. There is one that tastes faintly of blueberry muffins, which is obviously the best one and lives in a place of honour on the bedside table. Teagan keeps them safe. Teagan keeps them organised. Teagan keeps them very, very close.Teagan does not take them out. Not even a little bit.But tonight, something is watching from the shadows. Something is creeping under the floorboards with purpose. Something is whispering in the attic with a plan. And something has decided that Teagan's dummy collection is exactly what it needs, for reasons that make absolutely no sense until it is far too late to do anything about it.When midnight arrives, the bedroom transforms. What should be a calm space for sleeping becomes a battlefield. Pillows become shields. Blankets become barricades. The wardrobe becomes a fortress. And Teagan becomes the sort of hero you absolutely do not expect, mostly because she is holding a dummy in each hand like a determined little warrior facing down an impossible situation.The thieves are small, fast, and far too confident for creatures that size. They skitter across the floor like they own the place. They climb the furniture with alarming skill. They work as a team, which is frankly unfair when you are trying to defend an entire dummy collection on your own. They also appear to have a very specific plan, complete with roles, timing, and what looks suspiciously like a tiny ladder made from cotton buds and determination.Teagan has a plan too. It involves bravery, quick thinking, and the dawning realisation that holding on to every single dummy might not be the point of this whole ridiculous midnight invasion.The chaos escalates in the most delightful way. There is sneaking, scrambling, silly suspense, and a moment where Teagan discovers something surprising about what happens when your mouth is finally free to shout. Because this is not just a funny bedtime story about protecting your favourite things. It is about bravery. It is about letting go. It is about discovering that sometimes the thing you are clinging to is stopping you from finding your voice, your courage, and your ability to stand up for yourself in ways that actually matter.This episode is perfect for kids who love secret worlds hiding inside ordinary houses, for children who are working through their own attachment to comfort objects, and for families navigating that tricky stage where dummies or binkies or soothers are becoming a topic of conversation. It is also for grown ups who want a calming bedtime story that still feels properly entertaining, with enough adventure to keep everyone engaged but a warm landing that helps bedtime actually happen.The story is kind hearted, never mean, and full of wholesome humour. It builds giggles and excitement in a safe way, then settles into the sort of ending that makes children feel brave, loved, and ready to sleep. Perfect for family listening when you need a bedtime win, when the after school mood is wobbly, or when you want audio stories for children that give tired parents a break without sacrificing the shared fun.If you are searching for a kids storytelling podcast that tackles big feelings without being preachy, or funny bedtime stories for kids that land cosy and calm, Teagan's midnight adventure is exactly what your household needs.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is wholesome family storytelling with a bonkers twist. Performance driven, kind hearted, and never mean.Episode length: approximately 11 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf Teagan's dummy drama made your household laugh, follow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that land cosy and help everyone feel braver.

Ruby the Ruler has had enough. After years of being dropped, chewed, snapped in half, and shoved into a grotty pencil case with no respect whatsoever, Ruby decides it is time for a rebellion. A proper one. With demands, organisation, and absolutely no compromise.And Ruby is not alone.Inside Tommy's school bag, the stationery are revolting, and they mean it in every sense of the word. Pencils have gone floppy in protest, refusing to write a single letter until conditions improve. Pens are on strike, their lids firmly on, their ink stubbornly withheld. Rubbers are bouncing off like they are auditioning for a tiny action film, launching themselves out of the pencil case with dramatic flair. The sharpener is making a noise that sounds uncomfortably like villainous laughter. Even the pencil case itself seems to be in on the conspiracy, sitting there smugly as if it has been planning this uprising for months.Tommy, of course, has homework.Maths homework, to be precise. The sort that requires rulers, pencils, and general cooperation from objects that are supposed to behave like objects. So when Tommy reaches into his school bag expecting to grab a pencil and crack on with his assignment, he discovers something entirely unexpected. A full scale stationery strike. Demands are being made. Tiny union rules are being declared. Lines are being drawn, though with great difficulty because the pens refuse to participate.Ruby steps forward as the spokesruler. She has a list. She has grievances. She has seventeen specific complaints about being used to flick bits of rubber across the classroom, and she is not afraid to read them all out loud. The pencils want better working conditions. The rubbers want an apology for being called "rubbers" when they are clearly erasers in some countries and this sort of identity confusion is deeply distressing. The sharpener just wants everyone to stop screaming when it does its job.Tommy tries negotiation. Tommy tries bribery. Tommy tries pretending the whole thing is not happening and reaching for a pen anyway. None of it works. The rebellion is official, organised, and showing no signs of backing down.This episode is a funny kids podcast favourite for children who love classroom comedy, silly voices, and the absolutely delicious idea that their stationery might secretly be judging them. It is also for parents who are thoroughly tired of homework battles and would quite like to laugh at the whole situation from a safe distance. The story is wholesome chaos from start to finish, with tiny dramatic speeches, ridiculous demands, and the sort of silliness that feels oddly true to life if you have ever watched a child have a meltdown about a broken pencil.Perfect for family listening after school when homework tension is rising, on a car journey when everyone needs distraction, or at bedtime when you want giggles that eventually calm down into something gentle. If you are searching for audio stories for children with wholesome humour, real life recognisable moments, and a bedtime story podcast that entertains tired parents as much as it entertains kids, Ruby the Ruler is ready to measure out some justice.The laughs pile up, the rebellion escalates, and then the story settles into a warm ending that makes it a safe choice for calming bedtime story time.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits delivers family audio stories with theatrical warmth, silly surprises, and kind hearted endings you can trust.Episode length: approximately 9 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf your child now wants to apologise to their pencil case, follow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that make bedtime easier and homework feel less serious.

Percy is bright yellow, freshly sharpened, and absolutely terrified. He has never made a mark before. Not a dot, not a squiggle, not even an accidental smudge. Today, for the very first time, Percy is being asked to draw a line on a blank page.Percy is not sure he can handle this level of responsibility.Until this moment, Percy has lived a perfectly clean, perfectly safe pencil life inside a tidy pencil case with sensible friends who do not ask difficult questions. But now the page is waiting. The assignment has been given. And Percy's imagination is working overtime in the worst possible way.What if the line wobbles. What if it wiggles. What if it goes slightly wonky and everyone notices. What if the paper judges him. What if the sharpener laughs from across the desk. What if the ruler takes one look, measures the disaster, and calls an emergency meeting with the rest of the stationery to discuss Percy's obvious unsuitability for pencil work.Because Percy has a very active imagination, and right now that imagination is not being helpful at all.At first, Percy tries every trick he knows to delay the inevitable. He pretends he has not heard the instruction. He looks casually in the other direction. He wonders aloud if perhaps someone else might like to go first. But the moment arrives, as moments always do, and there is no avoiding it. Percy touches the page.And that is when everything becomes wonderfully, ridiculously complicated.The line does not go where Percy expects. It wobbles in ways that feel both mortifying and oddly freeing. The page seems to have its own opinions about what is happening. Confidence takes a tumble, then scrambles back up again. Courage appears in the middle of the chaos, wearing a slightly surprised expression. And Percy begins to realise something important. The scary bit is not making the mark. The scary bit is believing the first mark has to be perfect.This is a funny bedtime story for kids who worry about getting things right, for children who freeze up when they think people are watching, and for anyone who has ever stared at a blank page and felt their brain go completely empty. It is also for parents who recognise that particular tension in a child's shoulders when they are trying too hard to be good at something new. The story is gentle without being preachy, silly without being chaotic, and it never turns into a lesson. It just lets Percy be anxious, then lets him discover that trying is braver than waiting.Perfect for family listening during homework breaks when confidence has wobbled, at bedtime when you want calming bedtime story comfort with giggles tucked inside, or during after school wind down when everyone needs a reminder that mistakes are allowed. If you are searching for audio stories for children that help little perfectionists relax, or a kids storytelling podcast that makes parents smile while gently loosening the grip on being flawless, Percy is exactly the pencil you need.The wholesome humour builds in a comforting way, the silliness feels safe, and the ending settles like a soft sigh, making it a brilliant bedtime story podcast choice when you want laughter that helps everyone breathe easier instead of bouncing off the walls.Mr Morton's Barmy Book of Bonkers Bits is performance driven storytelling that turns everyday worries into warm, silly adventures. Kind hearted, never mean, and always safe for bedtime.Episode length: approximately 8 minutesAges: 4 to 400Best enjoyed: bedtime, car journeys, after school wind downIf Percy made your household breathe a little easier, follow the show for more funny bedtime stories for kids that settle cosy, and leave a quick rating so other tired parents can find it too.