Hold My Baby

Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising children, enforcing rules, and quietly wondering why we’re the only ones paying attention. In this episode, Erik and Kira break down the real family hierarchy: Who’s actually in charge? Who’s the sheriff? Who doesn’t even know the dentist’s name? And why does Hollywood insist dads are one step away from burning the house down? Things spiral beautifully into: * Parenting roles: regional manager vs part-time supervisor * Hollywood dads being unrealistically helpless * Kids using AI to cheat smarter, not harder * The nightmare of Chromebooks + YouTube Shorts at school * HOLD MY BABY: braggadocious parents who can’t stop one-upping * The reverse-psychology compliment strategy to humble them If you’ve ever wanted to say “please stop talking” at a school pickup… welcome home.--- #holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #chatgpt #modernparenting #raisingteens #comedypodcast --- If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or want to fight a braggy parent in the school parking lot: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your biggest parenting pet peeve 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s chaos 📤 Share this with a parent who also hates the “dumb dad” trope And remember: if you’re leaving less than 5 stars… **absolutely not.**

Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… and also want them to be *slightly impressive* someday. Not even famous. Just… employable. Athletic. Motivated. Alive. In this episode, Erik signs his 13-year-old up for **water polo** (because scholarships don’t grow on trees), only for it to become his son’s **first and last class**. We get into the eternal parenting battle: Do you push your kid to stick with something… or do you let them quit immediately and raise a future adult who “doesn’t like hard things”? Then we spiral into: * Parenting teamwork (and when your spouse sabotages your discipline plan) * How kids have zero spark now (sorry, but it’s true) * Why hobbies like golf and running are basically rich-people time travel * Home Depot vs IKEA parenting budgets * FedEx customer service rage and “Is there anything else I can help you with?” Be a friend. Tell a friend. And please… stop letting kids quit after ONE practice.--- #holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #kidssports #comedypodcast #raisingteens --- If this episode made you laugh, rage, or immediately sign your kid up for a sport out of guilt: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment: are you a “push them to stick with it” parent or a “quit if you hate it” parent? 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who’s one FedEx email away from snapping Be a friend. Tell a friend. And remember: **Absolutely not.** ---

In this episode, Erik and Kira return from a hiatus with the kind of energy you only get after **three weeks of Christmas break** and zero personal space. They break down why winter break is basically a hostage situation, why camps cost more than rent, and what happens when you’ve already taken away TV, video games, and phones… and your kid is still acting like a villain. Then things get worse (in the best way), because we also get into: * Remodeling a kid’s room while stepping on decapitated Barbie heads * Husbands with garages that look like **Home Depot got punched in the face** * Why kids don’t learn basic life skills anymore * HOLD MY BABY: If you don’t have kids… stop telling parents you’re tired * Doodle dogs, allergies, Whole Foods supplements, and **anal gland expression** (unfortunately) You’re welcome. Now go drink water and send your kids outside.---If this episode made you laugh, rage, or quietly throw something into a donation bin: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most unhinged thing your kid did over break 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss our weekly parenting therapy session 📤 Share this with a parent who’s also fighting for their life 💖 ---#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #ParentingBurnout #christmasbreak #modernparenting #comedypodcast #parentinghumor

We get into: * Why your wedding ring is a “speed bump,” not a stop * Stage names, DJ names, and why we refuse to call you “Sandman” * The worst bombing stories of Erik’s career * Snoring on planes and why it should be illegal * HOLD MY BABY: getting scolded at a comedy show like it’s church If you’ve ever wanted to say “absolutely not” out loud to a stranger… congratulations. This is your episode.--- If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or immediately get mad at a stranger in your head: 👍 Like the video 💬 Comment your worst airplane etiquette story (we WILL judge it lovingly) 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode of parenting chaos 📤 Share this with someone who tries to trade a middle seat for a window It costs you nothing… except your dignity if you’re the “be nice” lady. ---#HoldMyBaby #parentingpodcasts #comedypodcast #standupcomedy #AirplaneEtiquette #travelstories #funnyparents #millennialparents 

This episode starts with denim debates and pajama pants denial, spirals into family photos we *swore* we’d never take, and somehow ends with public speakerphone etiquette, airplane seating warfare, and mustache-based childhood trauma. Erik and Kira unpack: * Pajama pants disguised as “real clothes” * Family portraits, matching pajamas & becoming the parents you mocked * Growing up without photos and why it hits later * Old-school parenting discipline (the *look*, the whisper, the dressing room) * Teen mustaches, shaving politics & rites of passage * Puberty, grooming, and projecting your childhood onto your kids * Speakerphone psychopaths in public * Comedy Store parking lot chaos * Exit-row airplane survival strategies (again, because people are animals) If you’ve ever said *“I used to make fun of those parents… and now I am them,”* welcome home.---If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or rethink that outfit your kid is wearing right now: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment with the parenting habit you *used* to judge 🔔 Subscribe so we can keep oversharing responsibly 📤 Share this with someone who uses speakerphone in public We’re not perfect parents. We’re just loud about it.---#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #familylife #teenparenting #comedypodcast #publicetiquette #parentinghumor

This episode starts with smiling anger (the most dangerous kind), detours into crying on airplanes, and somehow lands squarely on **why Crocs are ruining society**, why airline seating should come with photos, and why **your child is absolutely not allowed to poop in our house**.Erik and Kira cover:Crying on planes over movies you thought were harmlessWhy airlines should let you preview seatmatesPassive-aggressive airplane survival strategiesPajamas, presentation, and parenting standardsSleepovers, pull-ups, and crimes against plumbingIf you’ve ever said *“not in this house”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.---#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #crocs #airportcomedy #parentingboundaries #millennialparents  #comedypodcast---If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or aggressively agree:👍 Like the episode💬 Comment with your own *“not in this house”* rule🔔 Subscribe so we can keep saying the quiet parts out loud📤 Share this with a parent who lets their kid wear CrocsWe’re not saying we’re right — We’re just saying we’re consistent.---

Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids, fear school administrators, and are just trying to survive modern life with our dignity (and credit score) intact. This episode starts with a brutally honest breakdown of **how much money it costs to look like a woman over 40**, spirals into YouTube phrases your kids should *never* repeat at school, and somehow ends with school lunch rules that feel like minimum-security prison. Erik and Kira get into: Why beauty routines should be covered by insurance White teachers panicking, parents clarifying, principals saving the day Schools micromanaging kids like inmates Safety supervisors who are allergic to logic Sex-ed videos we now desperately want to watch If you’ve ever thought — welcome home.If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or whisper *“yep, that tracks”*: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment with **your Hold My Baby moment** 🔔 Subscribe so we can keep parenting out loud 📤 Share this with another parent who hates school emails We’re not perfect parents — but we are paying attention. You can also follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/erikriveracomedy/ https://www.instagram.com/kiracomedy/

Welcome back to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where instincts kick in, patience runs out, and somebody is always about to fight… politely.This episode starts with a classic Hold My Baby moment: a kid in a full black leather trench coat, gloves, and Terminator sunglasses… in 70-degree Southern California weather. From there, Eric and Chiara spiral (responsibly) into parenting instincts, emo kids, trench coats, “big feelings,” and why some things are simply “not in my house.”We also get into:When parental intuition overrides “don’t judge”The difference between self-expression and warning signsWhy parents need to do a quick up-and-down before kids leave the houseEmo phases, theater kids, and The Cure traumaPlaydates ruined by “big feelings”Complaining about cake at a fancy restaurant (a crime)How to shut things down outside the restaurantLocker room selfies at hot yoga (straight to jail)If you’ve ever thought “I feel bad… but also absolutely not” — congratulations, this episode is for you.#HoldMyBaby#ParentingPodcast#FunnyParents#BigFeelings#GentleParenting#ModernParents#ComedyPodcast#ParentingBoundaries#RaisingKids 

Welcome back to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… and are absolutely exhausted by them. In this episode, Erik and Kira tackle Disneyland chaos, stroller etiquette crimes, screen-obsessed children, video game addiction, and why 5:30 a.m. is not a reasonable time to play Roblox like a hedge fund manager. From leash backpacks (no), to stroller-sized teenagers (also no), to comedy audiences who demand to speak to the manager — this one is pure parental rage therapy. We also get into:* Stroller kids with mortgages* Phones, babies, and losing faith in humanity* Roblox, “admin abuse,” and digital capitalism for children* Comedy audiences, offended strangers & automated apology emails* Why comedy is like lactose intolerance — it’s not for everyone If you’ve ever thought “Am I the bad guy here?” — congratulations, this episode is for you.---#holdmybaby  #parentingpodcasts #disneyland #screentime #millennialparents #funnyparents #comedypodcast #roblox #parenting #raisingkids---If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or whisper *“thank god it’s not just me”*: 👍 Like the episode💬 Comment with the parenting hill you’re willing to die on🔔 Subscribe so we can continue judging behavior together📤 Share with another parent who hates strollers but loves their kids We’re not perfect parents — but we are consistent, opinionated, and caffeinated.---

Welcome back to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where comedy, trauma, and absolutely zero HR oversight collide. It's Episode 2, comedians and parents Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich attempt to talk about “the talk” — and immediately derail into debates about whiteness, puberty horror stories, Netflix parental controls, Pentecostal church trauma, dating rules, and why strict parenting is basically a launchpad for chaos. You’ll hear:What happens when parents delay “the talk” (spoiler: the internet wins)Cultural identity confusion -Why shared Netflix accounts are a federal crimeHow religious trauma shapes parentingThe real reason comics talk to strangers in Whole FoodsWhy letting your kids fail might be the healthiest optionIf you’re a parent, former kid, or someone actively avoiding both — welcome. You belong here.If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or rethink your childhood: Subscribe so you don’t miss future emotional unpackingComment with your own parenting or upbringing horror stories Share this with someone who needs validation or therapy

Welcome to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where two comedians with multiple kids and even more unresolved trauma try to explain how we all got here. In this episode, Eric Rivera and Kira Soltanovich unpack modern parenting, gentle parenting, spelling bees, autocorrect-raised teenagers, and why today’s kids seem allergic to sarcasm, consequences, and basic humor. This is not a parenting advice show. This is a survival support group with microphones. If you’ve ever thought: “Am I raising a child… or a future coworker who emails like ‘sent from toaster’?” Congratulations. This episode is for you.