Relationships: A Do Better Podcast

➤ Check out Kale's group of scholars who are trying to make relationship science more accessible to the public: https://myrelevate.com/➤ Relevate Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/17tZjVFCh3/?mibextid=wwXIfrIn this conversation, we explore the significance of relationships in our lives, discussing how they impact mental health, well-being, and overall life satisfaction. We delve into the dynamics of marriage, the importance of quality over quantity in relationships, and the necessity of maintaining healthy connections through communication, gratitude, and shared experiences. The discussion also touches on the challenges couples face, the role of attraction, and the reality of relationship satisfaction over time.Takeaways:➤ Relationships are fundamental to our well-being and give life meaning.➤ Social isolation can have severe health impacts, even more than smoking.➤ Marriage tends to benefit men more than women, but quality matters.➤ Quality of relationships is more important than the number of relationships.➤ Relationships require maintenance and effort, similar to car upkeep.➤ Gratitude in relationships fosters positive behaviors and satisfaction.➤ We are attracted to those who show interest in us.➤ Engaging in novel activities can enhance relationship quality.➤ Effective communication is crucial for resolving conflicts and maintaining satisfaction.➤ Understanding and addressing relationship dynamics can lead to healthier connections.Dr. Kale Monk is an Associate Professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Science at the University of Missouri. Dr. Monk also serves as a State Couple and Family Well-being Specialist for MU Extension. In addition to completing a master's degree in Couple and Family Therapy at Kansas State University, Dr. Monk earned his Ph.D. from the University of Illinois where he specialized in relationship science. Dr. Monk’s research centers on romantic relationships and well-being – primarily focusing on how couples maintain their relationships. With over 70 publications ranging from scientific journal articles to books and book chapters, his research has been featured in prominent outlets like USA Today, TIME Magazine, the Chicago Tribute, the New York Post, the Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today. In addition to speaking about his research in many different countries, Dr. Monk has been invited on several occasions to consult with policy makers in Washington D.C. who work on relationship-related policies, such as the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women’s Act. Dr. Monk has received numerous accolades for his work, including awards from the National Council on Family Relations, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, The National Communication Association, The Society for the Study of Emerging Adulthood, and the International Association for Relationship Research.

Check out Joe Berry here:➤ Website: https://mindfulguidancellc.com➤ Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/joe-berry-lawrence-ks/971964➤ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulguidancellc?igsh=M3lpbG8xczIxY293➤ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1GJKGm9GjG/?mibextid=wwXIfrThis conversation delves into the complexities of parenting children with ADHD, highlighting the significant impact ADHD has on family dynamics and parental mental health. The discussion emphasizes the importance of co-regulation, emotional regulation, and the need for encouragement over punishment to foster self-esteem in children. It also addresses the challenges parents face in managing behaviors and the necessity of understanding the differences between ADHD and trauma. Practical strategies and resources for parents are provided, along with insights into the importance of routine and predictability in helping children feel safe and regulated.Takeaways:➤ ADHD significantly impacts parenting effectiveness and family dynamics.➤ Co-regulation is essential for helping children with ADHD manage their emotions.➤ Encouragement should outweigh punishment to build children's self-esteem.➤ Routine and predictability help children with ADHD feel safe and regulated.➤ Understanding the difference between ADHD and trauma is crucial for effective support.➤ Parents often need support and guidance in managing their child's behavior.➤ Emotional regulation is contagious; parents must model calmness for their children.➤ Children with ADHD may struggle with frustration tolerance and emotional responses.➤ Contingent rewards in parenting are okay.➤ Parents should seek professional help if they notice signs of ADHD in their children.00:00 Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Families20:01 The Role of Co-Regulation in Parenting40:11 Navigating Emotional Responses and Behavior Management01:00:10 Encouragement Over Punishment: Building Self-Esteem01:18:08 Resources and Next Steps for Parents

Jonathan and Justin discuss the challenges of being better partners, the significance of understanding love languages, and the role of therapy in maintaining healthy relationships. The conversation emphasizes the need for vulnerability, compassion, and proactive engagement in relationships, while also addressing the impact of fear and values on decision-making. The episode concludes with insights on finding the right therapist and the benefits of regular relationship maintenance.- It's rare to find two people fighting for the same thing in a relationship.- Being a better husband involves understanding the mental load of household responsibilities.- Love languages play a crucial role in how partners express care and affection.- Communication about pain points can enhance relationship dynamics.- Making choices out of love rather than fear leads to healthier relationships.- Therapy can serve as maintenance for relationships, not just a last resort.- Understanding emotional clarity can improve intimacy between partners.- Criticism should be viewed as an opportunity for growth, not an attack.- Finding the right therapist is essential for effective counseling.- Regular check-ins in relationships can prevent larger issues from developing.

Jonathan and Justin engage with Carla Eenberg, a marriage and family therapist, to explore the complexities of relationships, focusing on the mental load, fairness, and communication. They discuss how expectations can lead to feelings of betrayal and the importance of trust and understanding in navigating these dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the need for rituals and routines to foster connection and addresses the challenges faced by partners. Ultimately, the episode provides insights into balancing fairness and expectations in relationships through effective communication. This conversation delves into the complexities of communication and expectations in relationships. It emphasizes the importance of setting clear expectations, learning from mistakes, and understanding each other's perspectives. The speakers discuss the significance of trust, the challenges of defensiveness, and the need for mutual effort in maintaining a healthy relationship. They highlight the importance of articulating needs and recognizing underlying emotions, ultimately advocating for patience and growth as essential components of a successful partnership.Check out Carla at carlaingeborg.com!00:00 Introduction to Relationship Dynamics02:11 Understanding Mental Load in Relationships06:43 The Importance of Fairness and Trust09:21 Breaking the Cycle of Expectations11:52 Rituals and Routines for Connection16:50 Navigating Neurodivergence in Relationships19:38 Balancing Fairness and Expectations23:39 Communicating Expectations Effectively26:01 Setting Expectations in Relationships27:59 Learning from Mistakes and Growth30:41 Building Trust and Understanding34:15 Navigating Defensiveness in Communication38:39 Balancing Efforts in Relationships41:58 Articulating Needs and Desires45:55 Understanding Underlying Needs49:10 The Importance of Mutual Understanding54:39 Patience and Growth in Relationships

In today’s episode, Jonathan and Justin dive into a topic every couple faces but rarely talks about, the mental load behind family photos. From planning the perfect shoot to actually getting everyone in the frame, we uncover why these moments matter and who usually ends up doing the heavy lifting.Joining us is Amanda Williamson, a professional photographer out of Kansas City, Missouri, who shares not just her expertise, but also her personal insights on what makes a family photo more than just a picture. We’re exploring the emotional value these images bring, why it’s crucial for both partners to be involved, and how small changes like picking up your phone more often or letting your kids document their own perspective can transform the way your family story is told.Whether you’re the one behind the camera or the one wrangling everyone into matching outfits, this episode offers practical advice, a few embarrassing photo fails, and heartwarming reminders of what it means to cherish the people you love. Get ready for actionable takeaways and plenty of laughs as we rethink the way families capture and share their memories together.Check out Amanda!Website: https://www.amandawilliamsonphotography.com/aboutInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/amanda.williamson.photography/00:00 "Women Lead Family Photo Planning"09:21 Pre-Session Planning for Photos10:41 "Preserving Memories as Kids Grow"17:22 "Capturing and Sharing Our Memories"25:09 Balancing Presence and Technology34:18 "Focus, Blur, and Lighting Tips"37:20 "Learning to Cherish Deeply"45:04 "The Mental Load of Posting"49:15 Sharing Family Photos Privately55:37 Family Photos Spark Joy01:01:42 "Photography: Capturing Our Story"

In this episode, your hosts Jonathan and Justin sit down with licensed therapist Katie Kirkenmeier to explore the shifting dynamics of gender roles within families. Together, they dive into the evolving balance of work at home and how societal expectations, parental leave, and invisible labor contribute to the mental load we carry as partners and parents.From the realities of postpartum anxiety and mood disorders, which affect both women and men, to the complexities of dividing household tasks, this conversation is packed with insights on how couples can better communicate, support one another, and challenge the stereotypes embedded in our relationships. Whether you’re a new parent figuring out how to split the chores or just seeking to understand unseen burdens in your own partnership, this episode offers actionable advice, heartfelt stories, and expert guidance.Tune in as we uncover what it truly means to “do better” in our most important relationships starting by believing and supporting the ones we love, communicating openly, and embracing change together.Help Us Grow:- Subscribe wherever you listen.- Send this episode to a friend who’s trying to “do better.”- Follow "DoBetterJonathan" on social media for clips and recaps.Thanks so much for joining us on this journey, we’re grateful you’re here!00:00 From Educator to Trauma Therapist09:49 Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts Insight13:57 "Parenting Challenges in Relationships"20:19 Work, Equity, and Relationships24:13 The Mental Load in Relationships28:07 Shared Responsibilities and Effective Planning35:59 Birthday Expectations Misunderstanding42:07 "To-Do Lists and Relationships"43:09 "Collaborative Relationships and Mental Load"51:14 Shifting Focus to Positive Change56:11 "Questions for Deep Connections"01:01:21 Complementary Teamwork in Relationships01:07:55 Redefining Masculinity and Emotions01:10:15 Therapy Insights and Personal Growth

Welcome to the podcast with a therapist and a regular guy that have real conversations about relationships, personal growth, and the challenges couples face. In our very first episode, Jonathan and Justin introduce themselves as two dads and husbands who’ve experienced the ups and downs of partnership and parenting. Jonathan, well-known as DoBetterJonathan on social media, opens up about his personal journey to understanding the mental load his wife carried and how that realization sparked his mission to "do better" and create relatable content for others. Justin, a marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience, shares his unique perspective on helping couples grow, communicate, and reconnect; even as he admits he’s still learning himself.Together, they discuss how their backgrounds shaped their views on love, family, and growth, from handing over a “signature” gourd in high school to navigating parenthood and the shifting dynamics it brings to any relationship. Plus, they talk about why bringing women’s voices and professional expertise into the conversation is essential... and share a few laughs along the way.Whether you’re in a relationship, single and thinking about partnership, or just trying to be a better human, you’ll find relatable stories, honest reflections, and practical tools in this episode. So tune in, get to know your hosts, and join us on this journey to doing better in our relationships and in life.Podcast Highlights:- The infamous “gourd” move. Yes, really. Jonathan won over his wife with a fall vegetable. Move over, flowers!- Honest talk about changing dynamics in relationships, especially after kids. Spoiler: it’s not always easy, and it requires vulnerability, patience, and lots of personal growth.- Why we’re committed to amplifying women’s voices and looking forward to future guest experts and female perspectives.- Heartfelt reflections on how family backgrounds shape us, and how intentional love, openness, and “feeling like home” matters as parents and partners.Help Us Grow:- Subscribe wherever you listen.- Send this episode to a friend who’s trying to “do better.”- Follow "DoBetterJonathan" on social media for clips and recaps.Thanks so much for joining us on this journey, we’re grateful you’re here!