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Be Mom Your Way: The Inner Work of Being a Mother
Be Mom Your Way: The Inner Work of Being a Mother
Author: Jessica Zielske | Behavior Analyst | Motherhood Strategist
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© Jessica Zielske | Behavior Analyst | Motherhood Strategist
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Hosted by Jessica Zielske, BCBA, CPC, this podcast teaches the inner work of motherhood: how to understand your triggers, build discomfort tolerance, regulate under pressure, and respond with values instead of reactivity. Using ACT, behavioral science, and real, honest motherhood examples, Jessica helps you grow as a woman while raising tiny humans. This is where your inner work begins.
15 Episodes
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Motherhood often feels overwhelming, not just because it is hard, but because of how many voices are constantly telling mothers what to do, how to do it, and what is at stake if they get it wrong.In this episode, I explore why every mother feels behind, why decision making feels so heavy, and how too much advice slowly erodes a mother’s ability to trust her own voice. From pregnancy through early motherhood and beyond, mothers are surrounded by opinions, expectations, research backed recommendations, and cultural pressure, all layered on top of exhaustion, uncertainty, and deep love.This conversation is not about fixing anything or offering parenting advice. It is about naming the experience many mothers are living inside. Decision fatigue, overwhelm, and the quiet loss of self trust that happens when we are trained to look outward instead of inward.If motherhood has ever felt loud, confusing, or like you are constantly second guessing yourself, this episode offers space to pause, reflect, and feel less alone.In this episode, we talk about:• Why motherhood feels overwhelming even when things are going well• How too much advice creates decision fatigue• The role uncertainty plays in maternal overwhelm• Why hearing everyone else’s voice makes it harder to hear your own• How self trust erodes when decisions are driven externally• The connection between overwhelm, people pleasing, and regret• What it means to stand behind your decisions as a motherIf this episode resonates with you and you want to share your story anonymously, you can do so on our website.Your experience matters and you are not alone.Visit: www.bemomyourway.com
What happens when you finally get space from the people you love most, and instead of feeling rested, you feel off?In this episode of Be Mom Your Way, I unpack a story from a twin mom who spent ten days away from her toddlers and was surprised by how deeply unmotivated, flat, and unsettled she felt. Through a relatable behavioral science lens, we explore how distance can change the value of what matters to us and how motivated and connected we feel.We talk about satiation and deprivation, why motivation can drop when structure disappears, and how not avoiding but allowing for discomfort can lead to powerful clarity about connection, purpose, and identity in motherhood.If you’ve ever wondered why some rest doesn’t always feel restorative, or why being away from your kids can bring up unexpected emotions, this episode offers language and insight without guilt or fixing.Want to share something you’re sitting with? You can submit a story, experience, or question completely anonymously at BeMomYourWay.com, and I may explore it in a future episode.
In this episode, Jess shares the story behind her twins’ first birthday party — the moment she almost shrunk herself to avoid “what people might think,” and the breakthrough that changed everything.If you’ve ever toned yourself down, worried you were “too much,” or replayed imaginary conversations in your mind before you even walked into a room, this episode will hit home. Jess breaks down the mom-mind spiral of predicting other people’s reactions, the pressure to perform for an audience that isn’t even real, and the resentment that builds when we dim our joy for the sake of others’ imagined opinions.This is a conversation about self-trust, mom identity, emotional freedom, and learning to show up fully — especially in the moments that matter most. You’ll walk away with perspective shifts you can use immediately the next time you feel that familiar “What will people think?” voice creeping in.✨ Want more content like this?Visit BeMomYourWay.comConnect on Instagram: @bemomyourwayKeywords: mom guilt, people pleasing moms, stop caring what people think, mom identity, motherhood confidence, self-trust, being “too much,” aligning with your values, mom podcast, motherhood mindset
Competing values are one of the hardest internal experiences in motherhood. It’s the moment when two things you care deeply about pull you in opposite directions — and there’s no option that feels fully “right.” These moments don’t happen because you’re doing something wrong. They happen because multiple parts of your identity matter at the exact same time.In this episode, you will learn• what competing values actually are• why your nervous system reacts so strongly in these moments• how values conflict affects identity, decision-making, and emotional regulation• why guilt increases when both options matter• how values collisions show up in everyday motherhood• what to do when you feel torn between your needs and your child’s• how to move through these moments with clarity instead of self-blameIf you want to see this mapped out visually and begin practicing the Inner Work tools you hear about on the podcast, download the free Inner Work Starter Pack at bemomyourway.com.
Repair is the fourth and most complex phase of the Notice, Regulate, Align, Repair protocol. This step is where your inner work becomes visible in your behavior. Repair is not about fixing everything, apologizing constantly, or pretending the moment never happened. It is the next values aligned action you choose after a moment that did not reflect the mother or the person you want to be.In this episode, you will learn• what Repair actually means in motherhood• why this step is harder than the others• the two forms of Repair, with others and with yourself• how Repair supports identity and self trust• how Repair fits inside the larger Inner Work of Motherhood Framework• how to move from internal awareness to intentional behavior• what Repair looks like in real life during real stressIf you want to see this protocol mapped out visually and practice it in real moments, download the free Inner Work Starter Pack at bemomyourway.com.
Align: The Third Phase of the Inner Work of Motherhood™ FrameworkIn this episode, we explore the third phase of the Inner Work of Motherhood™ Framework: Align — the moment when you zoom out from the chaos of your day and remember who you want to be as a mother and as a person.You’ve already learned how to Notice what’s happening inside you.You’ve practiced Regulating with one small internal shift.Now you ask the question that changes everything:“What do I want to be known for — in this moment, and in my life?”Alignment isn’t about doing anything yet.It’s about anchoring to your values so your next choice comes from who you are becoming, not the stress of the moment you're in.Inside this episode, you’ll learn:Why values matter more than goalsHow alignment stabilizes your identity in motherhoodHow ACT, behavior science, and identity research all define valuesWhy your values don’t change depending on the role you’re inHow alignment reshapes the next moment of your dayIf you want support as you start using this framework in real moments, you can download the Inner Work Starter Pack — it’s free and it’s waiting for you:👉 bemomyourway.comYou can also find me on Instagram: @bemomyourwayOr read deeper reflections, stories, and research inside my Substack: bemomyourway.substack.com
In this episode, Jess walks through the second phase of the Inner Work of Motherhood Framework: Regulate.She explains how internal cues shift the body, what regulation feels like in real moments, and how one small internal adjustment can change the direction of a difficult situation. You will learn how regulation works with awareness and how to create space inside yourself before responding.Explore more and download free resources at bemomyourway.com.Connect with Jess on Instagram at @bemomyourway.
In this episode, Jess introduces the first phase of the Inner Work of Motherhood Framework: Notice. She shares real moments from caring for her toddler and twins, breaks down how awareness works in the body and brain, and explains why noticing your internal world is the starting point for emotional steadiness. You will learn what to look for, how to recognize early signals, and how this skill creates space for every other phase in the framework. Download the free resources at bemomyourway.com. Connect with Jess on Instagram at @bemomyourway.Website: bemomyourway.comInstagram: @bemomyourway
This week, my very first guest joins me — my mom. 💛We sit down for an honest, funny, and heartfelt conversation about motherhood across two generations — what’s changed, what hasn’t, and what really matters.From raising one child in the late ’80s to raising three under three today, we talk about presence, pressure, mom guilt, boundaries, and how every decade brings its own version of “doing your best.” You’ll hear stories about babysitters before FaceTime, family meetings that built connection, and what it means to trust yourself as a mom — even when the world has a lot of opinions.If you’ve ever wondered whether moms today have it easier or harder (spoiler: it’s both), this episode will make you feel seen, grounded, and a little more confident doing motherhood your way.🎧 Be Mom Your Way — Two Generations of Motherhood: A Candid Conversation with My MomKeywords: motherhood, generations of moms, working mom, stay-at-home mom, modern motherhood, parenting then vs now, mom guilt, presence, work-life balance, boundaries, women’s stories, acceptance, ACT, Be Mom Your Way
Ever caught yourself thinking, “I’ve done this before — I know what to expect”… only to realize that pregnancy and postpartum never play out the same way twice?In this episode, Jessica shares the raw, very different realities of her two pregnancies — one with her first daughter and one with twins — and what she’s learned about comparison, control, and the stories we tell ourselves about how it’s “supposed” to go.She talks openly about:The trauma of her first pregnancy and how it shaped her expectationsWhat felt different the second time — emotionally, physically, and mentallyThe guilt and fear of not being able to show up the same way for her toddlerWhy comparison (to our past selves or others) steals presence and joyHow curiosity, not control, helps us move through change with graceWhether you’re pregnant, postpartum, or reflecting on your own chapters of motherhood, this episode reminds you: you’re not meant to repeat your story — you’re meant to evolve through it.🎧 Comparing Pregnancies: Letting Each Experience Be Its Own Story — now streaming on Be Mom Your Way.
I’m not sharing this episode because I’ve conquered fear — I’m sharing it because I still wrestle with it.This week, I’m talking about how fear of failure shows up in my real life — as a mom, a business owner, and a human just trying to do things that matter.Not the kind of fear that keeps us safe… the kind that keeps us small.You’ll hear me process how I’ve been redefining what “failure” even means — especially in motherhood — and how I’m learning to see it as part of growth instead of proof that something’s wrong.We’ll unpack:The quiet ways fear shows up in motherhood and workThe difference between brave failure and careless failureHow social comparison shapes our definitions of “success”ACT-inspired ways to move forward with fear (instead of waiting for it to go away)This isn’t a pep talk from someone who has it all figured out.It’s an honest conversation from someone who’s learning to do it scared — and maybe that’s what courage really is.🎧 Fear of Failure: Learning to Do It Scared — now streaming on Be Mom Your Way.
What happens when you stop trying to “get back” to who you were before motherhood — and start accepting who you are now?In this episode, Jessica opens up about the messy, beautiful middle between ambition and acceptance — between data and presence — and how learning to live with uncertainty has changed her relationship with herself, her work, and motherhood.Drawing from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), she explores the emotional shift from fixing to allowing — from controlling every variable to simply noticing what’s here today. You’ll hear reflections on identity after babies, mom guilt, and the pressure to always be “on fire.”You’ll walk away with:A more compassionate way to see your current season of lifePractical insight on how to use acceptance to break reactive loopsPermission to rest, recalibrate, and stop “shoulding” yourself into exhaustionWhether you’re a data-driven mom, a recovering perfectionist, or someone just trying to make sense of your next chapter — this episode will feel like a deep exhale.
Does other people "helping" you sometimes make life feel harder? If so, you’re not alone. In this episode, Jessica (mom of three under three) talks about what happens when “help” doesn’t actually feel helpful, and why that can trigger so much frustration. She shares her own experiences juggling twins and a toddler, learning to release control, and redefining what peace looks like in a house full of little ones.This is a conversation about letting go of the need for efficiency, embracing the season you’re in, and finding small ways to make motherhood your own — even when it’s messy.🌿 TakeawaysSometimes “help” adds stress — and that doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.The goal isn’t efficiency; it’s connection and peace.Letting go doesn’t mean giving up control — it means sharing it.Survival mode is part of the season, not a sign of failure.Parenting is temporary and ever-changing — give yourself permission to grow with it.
What if motherhood isn’t about staying calm — but learning how to show up in a way you’re proud of, even when it’s hard?In this episode, Jessica — mom of three under three, behavior analyst, and life coach — shares the mindset that’s helping her handle the chaos with less guilt and more intention. It’s about noticing what actually matters, letting go of what doesn’t, and finding small moments you won’t regret later.
In this first episode, Jessica — mom of three under three, including twins — shares the data behind how rare this season of life really is and why it can feel so isolating. She opens up about her own “why” for starting More Than Mom and what she hopes it becomes: a reminder that you’re still you, even in the high-volume years of motherhood.




