Santa Land Podcast

Have you ever wished there was a place you could go… where you didn't have to fit in, where you didn't have to explain yourself— a place where you could just be… and still be loved?   Welcome to Santa Land.   I'm Tony Felice—and each episode, I'll read you a ten-minute story from a grown-up fairytale I've written… followed by a quiet conversation about what it means.   Tom is late, and his editor is tired of excuses. But Tom is dealing with the loss of his mother and a childhood terror that was never resolved.   This is a sneak into the creative process. The heart behind the words.    Like the cricket in my story, I'll guide you through wonder and grief, through questions of existence, identity, and the soul's journey— not with answers, but with love.   By the end, you'll have heard my whole story: a sneak into the creative process of bringing a book—and maybe even a heart—back to life.   Santa Land is for those who talk about math at weddings, philosophy at funerals… and who carry a kind of magic that doesn't always feel like it belongs.   But it does. You do.   So come sit with me. Follow the cricket. And find the Santa Land that's already inside of you.   New episodes every week. Subscribe now on your favorite podcast app.

In this first chapter of Santa Land, we meet a small cricket—and something much bigger: a feeling. One that whispers in the dark, asking, "Are you still in there?"   Host and creator Tony Felice invites you into a grown-up fairytale written during a time of personal transformation and healing. With every word, every pause, and every breath, this story begins to unfold—not just as narrative, but as a quiet companion to your own inner journey.   After the reading, Tony reflects on the emotional layers behind the story, the meaning of silence, and the first hints of what Santa Land truly is.  

In Chapter Three, Tom sits at the edge of a memory, the air around him full of whispers—some real, some imagined. As he wrestles with the creative process, sound and silence mingle, pulling him between presence and the past. Amid this unfolding, we meet Kellie—the first of "The 5"—and glimpse the impact of a soul who saw him when he couldn't fully see himself. This chapter is soft, scattered, human—just as creation often is.   _____   Each week, a story and a reflection. A grown-up fairytale unfolding one chapter at a time.

Tom sifts through the small objects on his desk—trinkets, toys, forgotten gifts—and begins to wonder: what are these things trying to say? As he reflects on an old dowager who left nothing of value in her safety deposit box, he begins to question what we hold onto… and why. But the real reason for his delay becomes clear: Grief has arrived. With a tin star and a mouth full of empty promises, it brings its deputies—Fear and Doubt—ready to arrest him for the smallest of infractions.   A meditation on what we keep, what we hide, and what grief leaves behind. _____   Each week, a story and a reflection. A grown-up fairytale unfolding one chapter at a time.

In the second chapter of Santa Land, we meet Tom—the central figure in this grown-up fairytale. He's sitting at his desk, wrestling with the opening line of his next novel. A sentence that won't come. A deadline he can't meet. A silence that won't break.   Tom is late. Past due. But what he's really struggling with isn't just the story—it's what the story is asking him to face.   This chapter is about beginnings. Or rather, the space before one begins. ____   Each week, a story and a reflection. A grown-up fairytale unfolding one chapter at a time.

Over breakfast, Tom makes a declaration: "All I have are needs and a clock." David listens quietly, as he always does—offering love and steadiness in the face of Tom's unraveling thoughts. In this small, quiet chapter, David suggests a new way forward: write your truth, even if only for me.   In Chapter Six, the story deepens. Tom reflects on his earlier novels—"teenagers run amok," he calls them—and opens a window into the long arc of his life with David. Thirty years of love. Thirty years of weathering grief, of disappearing into one another… and slowly re-emerging.   Then the call comes.   Claire tells him to come home. Fast. He's in London. The clock is ticking. The portal opens.

In this heart wrenching episode Tom rushes to his mother Wendy's side. Tom hopes for a moment to ask his mother a pivotal question. Will he make it in time?   A quiet reflection on what it takes to love fearlessly.  

In this beautiful, lyrical journal entry, Tom discloses to David some insight into his heart and sets the stage for a terror yet to be described.   What does it mean to bring out all of your truths under observation of one who loves you?   To evolve before their very eyes is perhaps the greatest act of love. 

In this episode of The Santa Land Podcast: After Chapter Eight, in the stillness left by loss, comes a spoken word piece. A meditation. A transmission. A love letter to the nature of being.   The Poetry of Existence is not just language—it's feeling, breath, ether. In this special two-part episode, Tony invites us into a space beyond narrative and memory. Here, time folds. Grief echoes. Wonder rises. And the soul remembers what it always knew.   Listen closely. You may even hear the silence.   ___________   🌲 Start from Chapter One: https://youtu.be/S7pZ9s4Z-Qo?si=mbb4AVpiDtP_CCzc 🎧 Listen on Apple | Spotify 📚 Learn about the book: www.santalandpodcast.com Subscribe and follow for new episodes every Tues/Wed/Thurs 💛 #SantaLandPodcast #Storytelling #GriefToHealing #NarrativePodcast #ASMRVoices #podcastsaboutwriting #writingpodcast #podcastforreaders #readerscommunity #readersofinstagram

In this harrowingly heartbreaking chapter, we revisit Wendy's deathbed only to discover a miracle, that would bring Tom a sentence, far greater than the one he seeks.   What does it mean to let go of a wish in order to receive a greater miracle instead?   Stay tuned, the first part of the book becomes a fairy tale at the end. And you don't want to miss that.   (Note: previous upload contained missing audio, this is the corrected version).   🌲 Start from Chapter One: https://youtu.be/S7pZ9s4Z-Qo?si=mbb4AVpiDtP_CCzc 🎧 Listen on Apple | Spotify 📚 Learn about the book: www.santalandpodcast.com Subscribe and follow for new episodes every Tues/Wed/Thurs 💛 #SantaLandPodcast #Storytelling #GriefToHealing #NarrativePodcast #ASMRVoices #podcastsaboutwriting #writingpodcast #podcastforreaders #readerscommunity #readersofinstagram

Chapters Ten and Eleven - Play Something Christmassy Jason / Gravity is a Beyotch. Excuse the Language.   In Chapter 10, After writing "What I learn about I want, What I want I already have," and speaking out loud as he typed, David stops sweeping and they have an insightful discussion about closure.   What does it feel like to be so loved you can be yourself?   Chapter 11 - Gravity is a Beyotch. Excuse the Language.   In the course of searching for clues, Tom stumbles upon an idea of quantum proportions. In the barn, he and David unravel a new theory —one that might reshape the universe and the outline of his next novel.   It begins with an equation. And ends with a question. A Universal Question, whispered across galaxies with rhetorical specificity:   What do you want? _________________ Note: Tony's paper entitled: Infinity Plus One: A perspective-based theory of reality bridging relativity, quantum mechanics, and consciousness will be inserted as an addendum to the printed work.

Chapters Twelve and Thirteen - Faith Under Soft Morning Light / A Chirp in Time In Chapter Twelve, Tom writes a poem inspired by a walk on the beach—an exploration of faith's dual nature: its flexibility and its rigidity. He reflects on what it means to know who you are in the face of loss, cruelty, and the hypocrisy of those who "prey and pray" on the light. In Chapter Thirteen (at minute 6:33), Tom drifts into sleep inside the barn and meets the cricket again—this time in the way station between life and what lies beyond. Together, they revisit the moment of his cardiac arrest at 24 years old: the first time he crossed into the in-between and was asked to choose—life or death. He returned for a reason. A reason he couldn't name, but felt deeply in that quiet place… where you just know.  

Chapter Fourteen: Like Teenagers Run Amok Chapter 14 takes us on a poetic journey of the existential nature of time. Written as a journal entry by Tom for David, it illuminates more about Tom's creative process as well as the depth of their relationship.

Chapter Fifteen - E Equals Em See Squirreled. At Memorial Day, Tom ponders the idea of two palms touching. One hand representing the known, the other the unknown. By delving into the space between those two states, Tom get's closer to the book's central idea. Meredith enters the scene by proxy, when Tom pulls a postcard off the bulletin board and part of an easter egg is revealed.

Chapter Sixteen - David Out of Sorts The second part of our story introduces David and his own brand of magic. We learn more about his devotion through his thoughts and actions culminating in a magical moment where a wolf eats the moon. Double Slit Experiment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kfGRO6msQw Sodium and Potassium's relationship to sparks in the brain. https://kids.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/frym.2022.858193  

Chapter 17: Just Another Chicken Dance. Tom reflects on the weight of expectations, the haunting pull of unfinished work, and a family legend involving a stubborn chicken, a roadside fair, and the search for deeper meaning. As Meredith calls from across the ocean, David watches, worried that Tom is about to lose himself in yet another obsessive quest. Featuring a heartfelt post-reading conversation between Tony and his real-life husband Tim—who inspired the character of David—this episode explores the fine line between focus and distraction, love and obligation, memory and myth. It's a meditation on balance, trauma, and the sacred, ordinary moments that carry us through. And yes, there's a chicken. And no, it doesn't lose at tic-tac-toe.

Chapter 18: David's Point Exactly Tom feels the mounting weight of expectation as a moment with David becomes unexpectedly charged with memory, tension, and legacy. A simple glance at the bookshelf—once a source of pride—now ticks like a clock, reminding Tom of the pressure to deliver something greater than before. But as the memory of a chance meeting with Meredith resurfaces, we discover the invisible forces behind Tom's rise: the quiet loyalty of David, the strategic elegance of Maria, and the firestorm that is Meredith. This episode explores the people who shape us, the pressures that haunt us, and the strange comfort of a good chicken analogy. And yes, even dragons have feathers sometimes.

Chapter Nineteen: Angels and Monsters The ticking of the bookshelf grows louder, and with it, Tom's sense that something is coming undone. A glance at the titles he's written becomes more than pride—it becomes a reckoning. In this pivotal chapter, Tom remembers how Meredith entered his life, orchestrated by Maria, his first editor and quiet guardian. The encounter is electric, fateful—and laced with shadows. As the story unfolds, we're also taken back further still—to a childhood moment with his mother, Wendy, when she placed a pen in his hand and told him to write his feelings down. A moment of rescue that would define him… and a foreshadowing of her absence when he would need her most. Meanwhile, David watches, patient and silent, as Meredith takes up space. And somewhere between the bookshelf, the dragon, and the chicken, the stage is set for a question the reader won't be able to shake: Where was everyone when it mattered most? (Note: no commentary follows this episode). If you or someone you know is the victim of a sexual crime, you can reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673

Chapter Twenty: Pieced Together from Sentences As the story of Tom unfolds, we learn more about David's role and we discover the beauty of truly listening. David recount's his own story of Tom's love of letters, more specifically the metaphor and the poetry of things that exist in that space between letters that become words. Words become alchemy for Tom, and sentences restore his faith in the world and sets the stage for the worlds he would create for himself and for others. www.santalandpodcast.com #SantaLandPodcast #CreativeProcess #PhilosophyAndFiction #AudioNarrative #ASMRStorytelling #GriefJourney #PodcastLife #ConsciousCreativity #TimAndTony #WriterLife #HealingThroughStory #FoundFamily #SpiritualPodcast

Life's a beach and then you try. David takes a visit to the beach with the dog, where he ponders the nature of belief and his purpose in the story of Tom. On his walk he meets a neighbor who's toddler reminds him of the simple joys of living. www.santalandpodcast.com #SantaLandPodcast #CreativeProcess #PhilosophyAndFiction #AudioNarrative #ASMRStorytelling #GriefJourney #PodcastLife #ConsciousCreativity #TimAndTony #WriterLife #HealingThroughStory #FoundFamily #SpiritualPodcast