The Stepmom Diaries | Blended Family & Stepmom Support Podcast

Should a stepmom discipline stepkids? It's one of those questions that sounds simple until you're the one living it. A lot of stepmoms come in wanting to help, be supportive, and feel like a real part of the family. But when you're expected to parent without the same history, authority, or connection, things can go sideways fast. In this episode, Cameron sits down with April Eldemire, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, couples therapist, blended family expert, and former stepmom with more than 13 years of experience working with couples. Together, they dig into the big question: Should a stepmom discipline her stepkids, and if so, when? April breaks down what stepmoms often take on too soon, what the biological parent should be handling instead, and why trying to "parent like a mom" before the relationship is there can backfire. They also get into the bigger issue underneath all of this: What is actually your job as a stepmom? Because the answer may look very different than you think, and it may even look different with each stepchild. In this episode, you'll learn: When should a stepmom discipline stepkids Why connection before correction matters so much when building trust with your stepkids. How unclear roles can leave stepmoms feeling like the bad guy, and what the biological parent can do to better support their partner. april-cameron The simple 15-minute weekly trick that can completely change how you and your partner handle stepfamily stress, parenting, and decisions.   If you have ever wondered whether you are too involved, not involved enough, or taking on responsibilities that should belong to your partner, this conversation will help you think differently about your role. Being a good stepmom does not mean doing all the parenting. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for your relationship with your stepkids, your partner, and yourself is to get very clear about what is actually yours to carry.   Resources Mentioned in This Episode Connect with April Eldemire, LMFT: Website: Couples-thrive.comInstagram, YouTube, Facebook and TikTok: @couplesthrive Grab our FREE "10 Essential Scripts for Stepmoms": https://stepfamilycertification.com/stepmom-scripts April's Blended Family Quick Win Toolkit gives couples practical tools to reduce "my kid/your kid" conflict and start parenting more like a team in just 7 days.   Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.

What if some of the things you've been told a blended family should look like are actually making things harder? This episode is a special one pulled straight from our recent Stepmom Summit, where I sat down with three of the leading researchers in the stepfamily field to talk about how to make a blended family work based on what the research actually says, not what Instagram, your neighbor, or the Brady Bunch would have you believe. Dr. Brad van Eeden-Moorefield is a professor of family science and human development at Montclair State University whose research looks at how stigma, culture, policy, and the expectations placed on families affect real stepfamily relationships. Dr. Bailey M. Oliver-Blackburn is an associate professor at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock who studies stepfamily communication, conflict transformation, and family resilience, including what happens when children move between homes with very different rules, beliefs, and values. Dr. Todd Jensen is a professor at UNC Chapel Hill and director of the Thriving Through Family Transitions Research Lab. Much of his work focuses on what helps kids thrive in stepfamilies and how strong relationships between stepparents and stepchildren actually develop. And between the three of them, there is a LOT of research to unpack. In This Episode, We Talk About: Why there is no single right way to be a stepparent and what actually matters more for building a strong relationship with your stepkids What research says helps kids thrive in blended families, including warmth, timing, connection, choice, and learning to "read the room" How to navigate very different rules, routines, beliefs, and values between two households without making your stepchild feel stuck in the middle Why stepfamilies are not broken versions of first families and what decades of research tell us about creating relationships that work for your family If you've ever wondered whether you're doing this whole blended family thing wrong, this conversation may completely change the way you look at your family. There isn't one perfect formula. There are many paths to strong relationships, and the research is finally catching up to what stepfamilies have needed to hear for a long time. Want More From the 2026 Stepmom Summit? Get access to all of this year's Stepmom Summit recordings for just $97 and catch the sessions you missed or rewatch your favorites before the offer ends October 4th, 2026 at 11:59 PM ET: https://thestepmomsummit.com/rs-upgrade-purchase Resources From This Episode Dr. Brad van Eeden-Moorefield: https://inside.montclair.edu/directory/brad-van-eeden-moorefield  Dr. Bailey M. Oliver-Blackburn: https://baileyoliverblackburn.com/  Dr. Todd Jensen: https://www.instagram.com/drtoddjensen/    Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.

High-conflict co-parenting has a way of making it feel like someone who doesn't even live in your house somehow has way too much control over what happens inside it. The texts, the emails, the constant curveballs, the tension with your partner... it can start to feel like your entire relationship is being shaped around someone else's chaos. In this episode, I'm talking with Livi North, founder of Unfuck Your Co-Parenting, where she helps parents and stepparents navigate high-conflict co-parenting, parallel parenting, and difficult exes without letting the chaos take over their lives. In This Episode, You'll Learn: How to tell the difference between normal post-divorce conflict and a truly high conflict dynamic Why strong boundaries matter more than trying to change a high conflict ex How getting angry for your partner can accidentally create even more stress Why parallel parenting, intentional couple time, and limits around venting can help keep the conflict from consuming your relationship Because the truth is, you may never be able to control what a high-conflict ex does. But you can decide how much space their behavior gets to take up in your home, your relationship, and your life. Resources Mentioned: → Connect with Livi North: Visit unfuckyourcoparenting.com for resources and coaching, including a $189 one-hour intro call; follow @unfuckyourcoparenting on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook; and listen to the Unfuck Your Coparenting podcast. → Upgrade your bedtime with Cozy Earth's temperature-regulating bamboo sheets and pajamas, and use code STEPMOMDIARIES at CozyEarth.com for up to 20% off. → Unfuck Your Co-Parenting: The Coaching Couch Podcast (Available wherever you listen to podcasts) → Connect with Livi on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and Facebook: search the handle @UnfuckYourCoparenting → Free High Conflict Ex Guide: Get our FREE 10 Quick Tips To Dealing With Your Spouse's Ex, and stop letting your partner's high-conflict ex take over your life at stepfamilycircle.com/high-conflict-ex-tips. Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.

Have you ever felt like the harder you try to be a good stepmom, the worse things seem to get? That was me in my first few years of stepfamily life. I tried to make the kids like me, stepped into authority too quickly, rearranged my entire life around our parenting schedule, and kept wondering why I still felt like I was failing. What I eventually learned is that I wasn't dealing with a lack of effort. I was trying to navigate a stepfamily using a first-family blueprint. Once I started digging into published stepfamily research and the academic work around stepfamily dynamics, so much of what I had been experiencing finally made sense. Those lessons, combined with my own lived experience, ultimately became part of the foundation for the Stepfamily Coach Academy. In Today's Episode, We're Talking About: •  Why trying too hard to make your stepkids like you can actually work against connection •  Why building a relationship needs to come before stepping into authority •  How treating your stepfamily like a first family can leave you feeling like you're constantly failing •  Why keeping your own life, understanding your role, and learning the actual research on stepfamilies can change everything If you're a newer stepmom looking for tips for new stepmoms, I hope this episode gives you something I desperately needed back then: proof that there really is a roadmap for this. Resources Mentioned: The 2026 Stepmom Summit: Out Loud → https://thestepmomsummit.com/We're LIVE September 14th-18th, 2026 with more than 30 experts talking about the parts of stepfamily life we need to start saying Out Loud!  Stepfamily Coach Academy → https://stepfamilycertification.com/    Want to understand stepfamily dynamics on a much deeper level or use what you've lived through to help other families? The Stepfamily Coach Academy brings together published research, the academic study of stepfamilies, practical frameworks, and lived experience to train the next generation of stepfamily coaches. If this episode made you think of another stepmom who is trying way too hard and wondering why it still isn't working, send it to her. And if you haven't already, subscribe and leave a review so more stepmoms can find the support they've been looking for. Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.

Have you ever felt like people see you differently the second they find out you're a stepmom? The wicked stepmother stereotype has been around for centuries, showing up in fairy tales, movies, and cultural stories long before any of us stepped into this role. And even when no one says it out loud, that stereotype can quietly shape how other people see stepmoms and how stepmoms start seeing themselves. In this episode, Cameron unpacks the shame behind the wicked stepmother stereotype and the pressure so many stepmoms feel to prove they're loving enough, patient enough, helpful enough, or "good" enough to belong. She also explores what happens when that pressure turns into overfunctioning, shrinking in your own home, or staying silent about how hard stepfamily life can actually be. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why the wicked stepmother stereotype still affects modern stepmoms • How shame can show up as overfunctioning, shrinking, and silence • Why comparing yourself to your stepchild's biological mom puts you in a competition you were never supposed to enter • How to separate the cultural story about stepmoms from the truth about who you actually are You did not break up a family simply by becoming part of one. And you do not have to spend your stepmom life proving that you deserve your place in it. Sometimes the first step is recognizing that the story you've been carrying was never yours to begin with. Resources & Links •  Free Resource: 10 Essential Scripts for Stepmoms: https://stepfamilycertification.com/stepmom-scripts  If this episode hit home, share it with another stepmom who might still be trying to prove she isn't the villain in somebody else's story. And don't forget to follow The Stepmom Diaries so more stepmoms can find these conversations too.   Love The Stepmom Diaries? Please consider rating and reviewing The Stepmom Diaries on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show grow and reach more blended families who need honest conversations like this one.