The Buddy System with Chris & Matty

Chris and Matty are back with an episode that covers Mormon missionaries, battle horse PTSD, fake IDs, the world's dirtiest man, and the Swiss military strategy of just slapping people. Chris tells a story about herding cattle in Montana and riding horses in the wild, Matty nearly dies horseback riding in Nicaragua, and both guys agree that bike cops are the least threatening form of law enforcement. They get into WWII history, defend Portland and Fargo, pitch a friendship kidnapping service called Napper, and Chris recounts taking acid at LCD Soundsystem and briefly wanting to run for president. Matty spots a barred owl at Montrose and goes deep on killer whale ecotypes. Plus: the man who didn't shower for 65 years and why that ruins everything we know about medicine.

Chris opened a tin of sardines at the studio and Matty is not having it. That somehow leads to the accidental invention of bread, T-Mobile charging ten dollars to talk to a human, Batman being a billionaire cop, their Batman villain names, and asking the warehouse ghosts to please keep things platonic. Two new segments debut this week — Things I Wrote Down and Treasure of the Week.

The self-proclaimed best rapper in the United States and the guy born from a volcano -- Scoochie Boochie joins Chris and Matty at Iconoclast Studios for a conversation that covers improv burnout, comedy rap as an actual genre, pandemic hair disasters, and the hard truth about the improv industry (there isn't one). Plus a brand new segment drops: Notes from Our Phone, where everyone reads their most unhinged half-baked comedy premises. Things get educational — did you know toilet paper wasn't invented until 1857? Or that Romans shared a communal butt rag on a stick? Neither did we, and we're worse for knowing it now.

It's Matty's birthday, it's St. Patrick's Day, and someone gifted him a whale penis sculpture. Chris and Matty get into the origin story of Chicago dyeing the river green, hotel horror stories, the NA beer and mocktail price scam, body proportion facts discovered in the shower, a love letter to San Francisco, and a top five sandwiches ranking that gets heated. Plus: a tanuki follow-up, playground violence nostalgia, and why modern conspiracy theorists might actually be the optimists now. New episodes every Tuesday. Leave a review and join the Patreon at patreon.com/buddysystempod for bonus episodes, early access, and cooking segments.

Our buddy Kristen Toomey pops by for a swell chat about stand-up, being on the road, and other notable points of intellect (rodents, wizards, etc)

We had every intention of being mature this week.

Its the semis. Time to link.

Our buddy Devon Walker (SNL, Big Mouth, "My Favorite Lyrics" podcast) is in Chicago and we had to get him on the pod. Devon talks about coming up in the Austin comedy scene, getting Comedy Central's Comics to Watch just two years in, moving to New York City with $7,000, and surviving nightmare roommates — including one guy whose profile picture screams guilty verdict. He gives the full play-by-play of his SNL audition, from the club showcase to performing standup on an empty Studio 8H stage in front of Lorne Michaels. Then we completely derail into apocalypse survival plans, a rabid chimp horror movie, Chicago segregation stories, the legendary Southside Irish Parade corned beef heist, and why Vegas is Disneyland for idiots. Devon picks the panda as his favorite animal and almost gets into a fistfight with a security guard at an Eagles bar.

Happy Palentine's Day! This week on the Buddy System Podcast, we're celebrating friendship with our pal, Chicago comedian Lucia Hollis (@luciaismyname). We talk about everything from Pluto's planet status to Monsanto conspiracies, exchange the weirdest Palentine's Day gifts ever, debate whether astrology fans should have to learn astronomy, share some absolutely unhinged dating stories, and get real about friendship vs. romance.

Our buddy Luke Null (SNL, "Pretty Songs Dirty Words" ft. Wayne Brady) is back in Chicago and we had to get him on the pod. We talk comedy, SNL stories, the legendary Chicago scene, and then completely derail into golf course crimes, gas station madness, and the funniest childhood stories you've ever heard. Luke shares how his last name literally breaks hotel websites, we discuss the insanity of Buc-ee's gas stations, and Chris reveals his dad's secret pipe-stealing operation. Support the show! Gain access to behind-the-scenes content, bonus episodes, and enjoy all our episodes a day early!

Things get weird fast. High-tech bird feeders and Russian Blue cats, to our worst road rage moments and the creativity of medieval torture, why we need be be drinking pig milk, and 26,000 riffs more. Later, we dive down some important questions: Why is pig cheese $300 a kilo? Why aren't we drinking their milk? Also top of mind is the the Edmund Fitzgerald—specifically, why the anniversary memes have taken over our feeds and why we OG Fitzgerald fans. Finally, we ask the ultimate moral question: If the plane crashes, are you helping others, or are you fleeing the scene to avoid the jackals?

Our pal Joyelle Johnson stopped by the pod to talk about all kinds of stuff! Ungulates, touring, and more. Joyelle is a regular panelist on NPR's "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me." She has multiple specials out, she's been on TV a buncha, and she's appeared on late-night shows several times! She's the coolest, and one time she went to a zoo with Chris! We love her, and so will you! FULL DISCLOSURE: This episode was filmed late at night, after shows, and it’s a bit of a mess sometimes lol.

It took the boys three episodes to regress to first graders. We discuss niche sciences, pants dorsils, and the empire. It's very dumb, and also kinda smart, but mostly dumb. Just like all the stuff. Thanks for stopping by!

Whoa! Two extremely tender episodes for our first week? You bet your bazingos, big guy. Count on it! Our dearest buddy Kyle Kinane stopped by for a lovely long chat about things, stuff, and prescription crocs. Kyle is a legend in the Chicago comedy scene and a true comedian's comedian. There's not a comic He's personally contributed so much to our art and careers. It's a fantastic listen, so be sure to check it out! hosts Chris Higgins Matty Ryan executive producer Israel Fernandez III directed by Israel Fernandez III producer Sean Nielsen co-producers Chris Higgins & Matty Ryan director of photography Rob Gaona edited by Rob Gaona & Israel Fernandez III assistant editor Jess Roman graphics & motion Chris Higgins & Israel Fernandez III music Into the Heart of the Dragon’s LairMatt Cantor sound design Rob Gaona location Iconoclast Studios proudly filmed in Avondale, Chicago

The humblest of beginnings. hosts Chris Higgins Matty Ryan executive producer Israel Fernandez III directed by Israel Fernandez III producer Sean Nielsen co-producers Chris Higgins & Matty Ryan director of photography Rob Gaona edited by Rob Gaona & Israel Fernandez III assistant editor Jess Roman graphics & motion Chris Higgins & Israel Fernandez III music Into the Heart of the Dragon’s LairMatt Cantor sound design Rob Gaona location Iconoclast Studios proudly filmed in Avondale, Chicago