They Mess You Up with Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan

People who turn every situation into a crisis! Dealing with dramatic people is the topic this week. Dr Ciara Kelly and Dr Richard Hogan look at why some people rely on drama, how it affects those around them, and how to protect your own peace without getting pulled into the chaos.Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

A topic few people talk about: when a parent doesn’t like their child. In this episode Dr. Richard Hogan and Dr. Ciara Kelly explore why this can happen, from personality clashes to deeper issues. They look at how emotional distance and constant criticism affect a child’s self-esteem and ability to trust. And dig into what’s really behind these difficult parent child dynamics. Follow the pod on Instagram @TheyMessYouUpPod where you can also get in touch.They Mess You Up! Taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors. New episode every Wednesday.

They Mess You Up is back with a new series, taking on the issues that people struggle with behind closed doors. In this first episode of the series, Dr. Richard Hogan and Dr. Ciara Kelly talk about Sexless Marriages; why they happen, how intimacy can quietly disappear and why they’re more common than people think! They dig into stress, health and poor communication and discuss what really helps couples reconnect.They Mess You Up - is a weekly podcast series presented by family doctor and broadcaster, Dr. Ciara Kelly & family psychotherapist and author, Dr. Richard Hogan. They Mess You Up is a straight-talking show that unpacks messy, everyday relationship and mental-health issues with a mix of clinical perspective, personal anecdotes and wry, no-nonsense banter. New episodes every Wednesday.

In this thought-provoking and final episode of season 1, Dr. Richard Hogan and Dr. Ciara Kelly delve into the complex world of technology and its impact on adolescents. With the ubiquitous presence of smartphones, they explore the challenges parents face in guiding their children through this digital landscape, where connection often comes with isolation and heightened anxiety. Join them as they discuss the emotional turmoil of adolescence, the significance of setting boundaries, and the pervasive nature of online bullying and harmful content. Richard shares personal anecdotes that resonate deeply, emphasizing the need for open communication and understanding during these formative years.

In the first episode of 2025, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan dive into the topic of New Year's resolutions and the futility of punitive self-improvement goals. They discuss the high failure rates of common resolutions and why setting oneself up for a "new year, new me" can lead to feelings of hopelessness. Instead of purging negative habits, Ciara and Richard advocate for the power of positive reinforcement and self-acceptance. Tune in as they share insights on building sustainable habits, distinguishing triggers, and cultivating a kinder internal dialogue. Discover how embracing yourself can lead to genuine growth and fulfillment.

In this festive Christmas special, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan tackle the often challenging dynamics of family gatherings. Whether you're returning home to your parents or hosting your in-laws, the pressure can be intense. Join Ciara and Richard as they explore the emotional layers of Christmas, touching on childhood roles and family expectations that can resurface during the holidays. They dive into how old wounds can flare up and share practical tips for navigating difficult conversations, setting boundaries, and injecting more joy into the season. Discover how to shift your mindset and respond differently to family dynamics, allowing yourself to enjoy the good moments amidst the chaos.

In this revealing episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan shine a light on the often-taboo subject of sex addiction. They discusses the emotional isolation and shame that accompany this hidden struggle, sharing real experiences and insights into its deeper roots, often linked to childhood trauma. Join Ciara and Richard as they explore the complexities of sexual compulsions, the impact on relationships, and the harsh societal stigmas surrounding this addiction. Offering practical advice, they guide listeners through steps towards recovery, emphasizing compassion, open communication, and the importance of intimacy in navigating these challenges.

In this eye-opening episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan tackle a subject that affects many: narcissism. With an influx of emails from listeners, Ciara and Richard delve into the nuances of narcissistic behavior, exploring how it permeates our relationships with family, friends, partners, and colleagues. The duo breaks down the traits of narcissism, the impact it has on others, and the often-destructive patterns that emerge in interpersonal dynamics. Learn about the tell-tale signs of narcissistic behavior, from love bombing to a lack of empathy, and discover strategies for self-protection and navigating these complex relationships.

Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan discuss the intricate world of dating, especially for those re-entering the scene after a long-term relationship, divorce, or loss. They address the fears and anxieties surrounding the prospect of finding love again, shedding light on the emotional baggage we often carry with us. Join Ciara and Richard as they tackle societal pressures, the dynamics of body confidence, and the importance of being open rather than desperate.

In this episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan dive into the complicated emotions of jealousy and envy—feelings we all experience but often hesitate to admit. They unpack the essential differences between jealousy, the fear of losing something you have, and envy, the desire for something you don’t. With insightful anecdotes, the duo sheds light on how these emotions stem from our early attachments and can manifest in various relationships, including friendships and family dynamics.

This week, Ciara and Richard tackle the pervasive issue of anxiety—truly the epidemic of our time. They dive into the layers of anxiety, discussing what it is, why we experience it, and how to manage it effectively. Learn about the normalcy of feeling anxious and the ways to challenge that internal monologue that often perpetuates distress. With practical insights and relatable anecdotes, the pair emphasizes the importance of understanding our thoughts, adopting resilience, and recognising when professional intervention might be necessary.

In this episode, Dr. Ciara Kelly and Dr. Richard Hogan dive deep into the complex world of people pleasing. They explore its roots, unraveling the neuroscience behind why so many of us struggle to say no, often at our own expense. As they discuss the damaging effects of this behavior—particularly for women in pivotal roles like the eldest daughter—they reveal how it leads to resentment and burnout. Discover practical strategies to reclaim your voice and prioritize your needs without guilt.

In this first ever episode - Ciara and Richard tackle the messy, sensitive and taboo topic of affairs.

A weekly podcast series presented by family doctor and broadcaster, Dr. Ciara Kelly & family psychotherapist and author, Dr. Richard Hogan. They Mess You Up is a straight-talking show that unpacks messy, everyday relationship and mental-health issues with a mix of clinical perspective, personal anecdotes and wry, no-nonsense banter. They cover topics from affairs, jealousy and people-pleasing to anxiety, parenting and dating after separation, with practical takeaways framed by the hosts’ professional experience. The show is a pragmatic guide to why people hurt each other - and themselves.