The Short and the Long of it – Fertility & Feelings Podcast

For anyone going through fertility treatment or want to know more about it …two (psychologist) friends talk about their fertility journeys (one in it & one successfully out the other side), their experiences, emotions, and coping tactics.   Follow MYND.FLO

Struggling with fertility can be overwhelming, and the stress is real - studies even compare it to the impact of a major medical diagnosis. In this episode, we dive into the emotional toll, what happens when stress tips into overwhelm, and the coping strategies that help.  As you'll see, in the excitement of it all, we even get the name of the podcast wrong  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Episode Notes 2:32 - definition of stress 2:46 - definition of overwhelm 3:07 - the reality of dealing with infertility/ IVF 7:15 - IVF without NHS funding & big career moves 9:27 - financial funding / packages 10:54 - the impact of stress and infertility 14:34 - being everything to everyone 16:54 - when stress tips into overwhelm 17:38 - not fit for human consumption days  18:26 - effort doesn’t always equal reward 20:25 - fertility burnout  21:33 - infertility is like running a marathon 23:33 - draining your stress bucket 25:20 - grabbing moments of self-care  26:34 - telling other people you’ve failed 28:43 - supporting your mind as much as your body 29:57 - control and giving yourself permission to hope 31:23 - trust and communication with your partner 32:08 - being stressed about being stressed 36:35 - infertility is a unique stress 37:19 - coping mechanisms and creating space for yourself 39:04 - reconciling with the idea that it’s not working 40:52 - wallowing in the darkness when it all gets too much  42:33 - talking about feelings with your partner 46:29 - the stress of disenfranchised grief  48:30 - opening up and finding your tribe 50:40 - motherhood is a gift 57:06 - recap of coping mechanisms Follow MYND.FLO

Experiencing failures when trying to conceive and the associated feelings of shame can be debilitating.  In this episode we talk about how shame can hold us back from making connections, getting the support you need and remind you that you are not defined by a failure and are never alone. Episode Notes 1:42 - definition of shame 3:24 - definition of guilt 5:32 - the difference between shame and guilt 6:39 - it’s not all on you, it’s not your fault 8:26 - an essential mindset shift to help deal with feelings of shame 10:13 - shame triggers 12:23 - shame requires constant self-talk 13:00 - judgement and your shame bubble 14:07 - when other things going well make your question yourself  15:07 - slipping into a lack of trust around others 16:55 - guilt and engaging with the world  20:01 - shame makes you question your identity 20:50 - separating yourself and facts from your thoughts  22:31 - what happens in a shame spiral 23:57 - the expectation reality gap 25:17 - feeling pregnant - motivator or fear? 28:43 - will my partner leave me? 30:16 - does visualisation work? 32:54 - the stories you tell yourself  34:17 - belonging and feeling accepted 35:58 - personality traits and building resilience 37:07 - the value in saying ‘everything is fine’ 38:05 - everyone needs a f*ck it switch 40:09 - unpicking your brain 42:29 - dealing with a Big Fat Negative 53:01 - you are not your failure 55:30 - navigating compassion and comfort 1:01:11 - we’re all human, emotions are normal Follow MYND.FLO to join the community

Seeing everyone around you getting pregnant whilst you're TTC can leave you battling the difficult feelings of envy and resentment. In this episode we dive into things that trigger these emotions, ways we try to cope and what happens when thoughts get dark and slip into schadenfreude. Wait until the end to hear our candid conversations about Lara's 4th egg collection and how she was feeling going into it. Episode Notes 00:45 - definition of envy & resentment 02:02 - realising you are fallible 03:53 - Emma's resentment story 06:50 - driving your relationships away 08:53 - managing your mind 09:09 - why envy isn't a bad emotion  10:40 - are you telling yourself false stories? 13:58 - having an internal temper tantrum 15:16 - Lara's resentment story 17:16 - the slippery slope of resentment 18:50 - searching for the good in every situation 21:00 - dragging yourself back from "better than" thinking 20:20 - another false narrative: societal expectation 24:35 - being the second wife 25:14 - balancing your career with your fertility 29:10 - unexpected triggers can hit you out of no where 32:20 - the grass isn't always greener 33:19 - spotting resentment before it strikes 36:14 - when resentment slips into schadenfreude 38:45 - stories of hope 41:17 - learning to cope 48:30 - Lara's upcoming "IVF Bootcamp"

If you're struggling with infertility then anxiety and worry are likely not far behind. From the fear of the unknown, the impact of medication on your body, the monthly disappointments and 'what if' this doesnt work or I'm getting too old. In this episode we talk about the very different ways anxiety has shown up for us both and things we've tried to help ease the constant stream of worry. This is the episode where we probably reveal waaaaay too much and you'll see that what works for one, doesn't always work for all. Show Notes 0:23 Definition of anxiety & worry 1:10 The surprising thing about worrying 2:22 The pros and cons of anxiety 2:48 How anxiety manifests throughout our infertility journeys 7:05 The self limiting impact of constantly worrying 7:47 Seeing the humour during your times 8:59 There is always a solution attitude 10:03 Learning to ask more questions and not taking things at face value 12:13 The high stakes of IVF 13:34 When the worried thoughts creep in 15:48 Pelvic therapy... what is left to control?! 16:45 Learning to let go 17:45 When anxiety tips into dispair & the benefit of options 19:59 Day to day vs long term worries 21:26 When age anxiety creeps in 23:10 High energy vs low energy states 24:20 Hitting a nerve, literally and metaphorically 26:50 Training your brain to control the constant worrying 31:33 When you don't need an answer - just to let it out 36:12 How to de-escalate your body & mind when in panic mode 40:38 Why singing can do more than lift your mood 43:05 Getting out of your head and into your body 45:21 There's a medical reason to explain why you feel the way you do 47:27 When all else fails... don't worry about the worry or get anxious about the anxiety Follow MYND.FLO to join the community – www.instagram.com/mynd.flo

Let’s be real — when you’re going through infertility, disappointment and even full-blown anger are just part of the ride. In this episode, we’re getting honest about our own ups and downs with these tough emotions and sharing what’s actually helped us cope. We’re chatting about everything from manifestation and faith purchases to prayer, list-making, feedback loops, mindset shifts, and good old reality checks. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, this one’s packed with real talk and resilience tips to help you through it. Show Notes 0:35 - Definition of disappointment / regret 2:45 - How disappointment plays out during infertility 5:05 - How regret causes you to beat yourself up 7:50 - Waves of disappoinment 9:13 - Big build ups lead to the biggest crashes  10:45 - Our views on manifestation 12:03 - Fantasy land vs managing expectations 14:35 - We place our hands in science but it doesn't always have the answer 15:35 - Faith purchases and do they help? 18:53 - Other people telling you it's guarenteed is infuriating 22:41 - Reassessing the expectation barometer 25:23 - Understanding your resilience to manage disappoinment 27:00 - The power of exercise to help you process 29:00 - Exercising your brain 30:04 - Unexpected ways to switch off your mind and get into a flow state

In this episode, we're switching things up slightly as Lara takes us inside her recent "IVF Bootcamp" experience and the results of her 4th egg collection. We're also chatting about the surprising similarities between excitement and dread and the times we've felt both bubbling away during our fertility rollercoaster rides. Stick the kettle on and come and join us! Show Notes: 0:12 - What happens during an IVF "bootcamp"? 4:44 - Lara's 4th egg collection results 7:50 - Definition of excitement & dread 9:31 - Emma's biggest moment of dread 10:33 - When your embryologist gets excited 12:58 - What's next for Lara juggling three clinics? 13:50 - The surprising similarity between excitement and anxiety 15:35 - Lara's biggest moment of dread 17:50 - When dread and excitement combine in one pee 20:40 - When a positive pregnancy test brings up feelings of dread 23:35 - Early pregnancy scares 26:20 - Lara's next transfer protocol 28:29 - What made the difference in Emma's successful cycle  30:55 - When Emma reached peak levels of excitement  35:05 -  Emma predicts Lara's next transfer outcome.. You heard it here first! 35:06 - Letting your older children in on the excitement 37:47 - Reflecting on how Lara is feeling about her upcoming transfer Follow MYND.FLO to join the community – www.instagram.com/mynd.flo

This week, we’re opening up about the side of infertility that doesn’t always get airtime: the grief, despair, deep, lingering sadness. We talk about why infertility can feel like a cycle of constant loss, what disenfranchised grief really means, and how we’ve each coped (or crumbled) along the way. From crying in toilet cubicles to facing the big “what if it never happens?”, this one’s honest and raw. We also share what’s helping us cope. From catching intrusive thoughts early, to creating space for grief (even when it’s messy). If you’re in the thick of it, or just need to feel a little less alone, we’re right here with you.   Notes: 0:20 - What's knocked Emma since reflecting on the last episode? 3:00 - Definitions of sadness, dispair and grief 6:05 - Infertility is a cyclical griefing process 08:17 - Grief is as unique as your fingerprint 08:39 - What is disenfranchised grief? 10:00 - Self-imposing grief and deciding on the end point 11:05 - How can you grieve infertility when it's not tangible? 11:35 - The neuroplasticity of grief and how your mind processes grief 13:20 - What if a child never materialises? 15:38 - Grief just wants space 18:45 - Understanding infertility if you've never experienced it 19:38 - The reality of talking about grief out loud 23:58 - Breaking down grief and how it played out for us both 31:15 - Is it possilbe to get to a place for acceptance? 34:39 - Feeling sad for all the strong women going through this 36:15 - Hiding in a toilet cubicle crying 37:41 - When dispair hits you hard  40:10 - Catching catastrophic thoughts early 41:08 - Starting to prepare for the 'what if's' and the worst  47:02 - What is helping Lara deal with this journey 51:40 - Looking back on Emma's journey 54:12 - Coping with intrusive thoughts 59:00 - Final reflections   Follow MYND.FLO to join the community – www.instagram.com/mynd.flo