Permission To Desire: Relationships, Sex, Love, and Liberation

Is watching porn cheating? What about dancing with a stranger? or sexting with a friend? Whatever your answer is, I know that there is someone out there equally confident that the opposite is true.In my work as a relationship coach, nearly every person I talk to has a different idea about what would "count" as cheating—and sometimes partners even have different definitions!In this episode, I want to help you avoid the accidental cheating trap, get clear on what commitment means to you, and build a thriving relationship on your own terms.Whether you're monogamous, open, polyamorous, or in the process of figuring that out right now, it's important that you and your partner are on the same page about what the structure of your relationship and what everyone involved is comfortable with.This is especially important if you're considering opening up or in the process of opening up! I know you may be excited to jump into the fun, but breaches of trust based on misunderstands will only complicate the process. So let's get you some clarity!If you want a short, simple guide to walk you through the process of clarifying what the agreements of your relationship are right now, download the free Commitment Clarity Checklist at thisisbgm.com/clarityConnect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

If you're thinking about opening up your relationship—or have opened it partway already—you may think that if you just go slow enough, everything will work out. While it's important to go at a slow and steady pace, there are 3 major pitfalls I see when partners are starting to open their relationship. In this episode, Brian shares what those are so you can avoid unnecessary stress, conflict, fear, or resentment as well as changes you can make to the process to make opening up (or deciding not to open up) smoother.Opening up can bring you closer together if you do it well. This episode will help you do just that.Resources mentioned in this episode:Commitment Clarity Checklist - thisisbbm.com/clarityWeekly Sync Session workbook and training - thisisbgm.com/syncPrivate support to make opening up feel smooth, safe, and secure: thisisbgm.com/applyConnect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

What if your sex life wasn't a distraction from everything going on in the world right now but actually one of your most powerful responses to it?In this episode, Brian shares how your sex life is political. He breaks down how sex shame has been used as a tool of control, why it's important to feed your own sexual pleasure as a way to tend to your relationship (even when doing so feels scary), and what it actually means to claim sex and pleasure as an act of defiance in a political moment designed to make you feel small.This one is equal parts liberation theory and practical invitation. We need you fully alive and sex is part of that.If you're ready to stop putting your desire on hold and build a fuller, more alive erotic life, Relationshift private coaching with Brian will get you there. Your next step is to schedule a free Next Steps Call. Apply at thisisbgm.com/apply.Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

In this episode, Brian G. Murphy talks with Jonah Wheeler (@ShowOffJonah) about finding community and meaning in group sex. Tune in if you're curious to give group sex try or wanting to feel more comfortable, less nervous, more confident, and less ashamed about the sex you're already having.This is one part how-to and best practices and another part about how to see group experiences not as something scandalous, secretive, or shameful but rather as fun, sexy, and even meaningful experiences.You'll learn some practical tips on cruising and consent, hear personal stories about two of Jonah's group experiences, and explore how to find confidence, connection, and community in group spaces.If you want more when it comes to sex—more confidence, more connection, more meaning, or just more of it... Relationshift private coaching with Brian will get you there. Interested? Your next step is to schedule a decision making call so Brian can do a deep dive into your desires and challenges, share all the details about coaching, and answer any questions you have. Apply here.This interview conversation was recorded as part of preparation for Brian's book Love Beyond Monogamy which is available everywhere books are sold. If you want to find even more connections sex, relationships, and spirituality (and hear even gems from Jonah), pick up a copy today!There's a part-two of this interview coming in a few weeks so make sure you're subscribed to get it when it drops!Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

There are lots of reasons you may consider an open relationship—or consider opening up more than you already are. I’ve been there myself and I’ve helped a ton of people answer that question for themselves. Whatever your reasons for asking yourself that question, I’m gonna help you figure it out. Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

The very things that Matt and Dylan were doing that they thought were being helpful and kind ended up being the very things that hurt each other the most. When Matt and Dylan started working with me, they described their relationship as nearing rock bottom. Now, they've bought their first home together and are at "our strongest point."In this episode, you'll learn about some traps that couple can fall into (so you can avoid them), what really goes into strengthening a relationship, and how to make commitment work for the long-term.I hope you'll be inspired by Matt & Dylan's relationship!Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

Everyone wants a healthy relationship but the sad truth is, a staggering amount of them aren’t. Between lying, cheating, neglect, crappy communication, bad sex, and more unhealthy relationships take many forms. And because conflict makes for good television and music, we unfortunately don’t get as many examples of happy, healthy relationships. To help you figure out if you’re in a healthy relationship, I put together 6 signs to look for. Links from the episode:Relationship Conflict & Communication Skills video playlistBrian's YouTube channelConnect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

How do you know if shame is holding you back from the best version of your relationship or sex life? The tricky thing about shame is that it sneaks in and disguises itself as truth. Regardless of how long you've been dating and hooking up, no matter how long you've identified as kinky or queer, whether you've had 1 partner or 100 ... it's possible that there is another level of shame hiding out and sabotaging you.In this episode, Brian highlights some common signs that sex shame might still have a hold on you and equips you with tools to move from shame to sexual liberation.Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply

What if wanting more wasn’t selfish, but sacred?Permission to Want is a podcast for the curious, the courageous, the quirky, and consciously nontraditional. Hosted by author and certified relationship coach Brian G. Murphy, this show explores what it means to build fuller, more alive relationships and erotic lives and paints a picture of what’s possible when you find the courage to tell the truth about what you really want and say goodbye to shame or “shoulds.”Grounded in the wisdom of polyamory and other forms of ethical nonmonogamy, you’ll hear real-life stories and actionable insights that can enrich every relationship type: monogamous, open, polyamorous, single, or solo. Whether you're hoping to rekindle passion in a long-term relationship, healing from sexual shame, considering opening up, or just craving more intention in how you live and love, this is your permission slip.Connect with Brian on Instagram and Threads @thisisbgmGet the best practices from Brian's personal experience and coaching practice by signing up for deeper dives by email at thisisbgm.comApply for a values-based sex and relationship coaching thisisbgm.com/apply