Just Checking

Do you love your partner? Are you sure? What about now? Still sure? If your brain won't stop cross-examining your own feelings, this one's for you.In this episode, Jess and Laura dig into relationship OCD (rOCD) — the subtype that turns love into a courtroom and your own mind into the world's most annoying prosecutor. We cover what rOCD actually looks like, why it's so easy to mistake for genuine doubt, and how it gets you stuck in a loop of checking, reassurance-seeking, and mental reviewing that makes everything worse (classic OCD, honestly).We also get into retroactive jealousy, false memories (yes, including the "did I actually kiss someone at that party in 2009?" variety), where our weirdly perfectionist ideas about relationships come from, and how different treatment approaches can help you stop taking your brain spam quite so literally.Plus: The rOCD trap, some extra considerations for this subtype, and a surprise cameo in the Exposure Lab.Podcast by Laura Mole, Adv. Dip, MBACP OCD specialist therapistandJessica Hayes, Msc PGDip, BABCP Accred OCD and perinatal specialist therapistEdited by Christian NicksonTime stamps:00:00 Relationship OCD Google searches02:47 Intro and hello04:40 Brain Spam07:20 Why relationship OCD? 07:42 What is rOCD and what does it look like? 12:45 What might someone with rOCD do?15:00 Where we get perfectionist views of relationships 19:49 The relationship OCD trap23:20 Retroactive jealousy 24:00 Did I just kiss that person? And other false memories27:20 Is this OCD or normal doubt?36:19 How do we work with rOCD? 40:00 How different approaches can work for OCD47:30 Extra considerations for this subtype of OCD1:02:34 Exposure Lab and Peter's cameo1:05:55 GoodbyesGet in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to. Disclaimer This podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.

Ever watched someone you love spiral and had no idea what to do — so you just… answered the question? Yeah. This week we're talking directly to the OCD support squad: partners, parents, siblings, and anyone else who's been accidentally colluding with OCD while trying to be a good human.We cover why OCD feels the way it does (brain spam, basically), the sneaky reassurance traps even the most well-meaning loved ones fall into, what to actually say instead, and how to look after yourself in all of this. Warm, honest, occasionally chaotic, and featuring Laura's chunky rims and some words that made Jess blush.Podcast by Laura Mole, Adv. Dip, MBACP OCD specialist therapistandJessica Hayes, Msc PGDip, BABCP Accred OCD and perinatal specialist therapistEdited by Christian NicksonTime stamps:00:40 Introductions and chunky rims02:30 What we are covering and upcoming episodes 03:50 Brain spam07:20 Recap of the OCD cycle10:15 How OCD feels to someone with it13:46 An example of what OCD is like for the person18:00 Example of the impact of OCD on their loved one20:02 Family accommodation and reinforcing the OCD22:15 Reducing reassurance in a gradual and supportive way26:42 Expectations and time frames for dropping reassurance 27:45 The reassurance trap and sneaky reassurance 30:30 Phrases to use instead of reassurance 31:15 The reassurance book33:42 Validating the emotion, not the thoughts34:30 Reassuring the person, not the OCD phrases 35:45 Managing the shame of a 'failed' exposure 36:40 Balancing care vs colliding with OCD when you need to manage your own emotions 39:07 Attending a therapy session41:19 How to support exposures or behavioural experiments 47:18 Helping to advocate for a loved one with OCD49:50 Neurodivergent considerations52:10 Support for the supporter54:00 What if the loved one doesn't want help?57:18 What people with OCD want you to know 1:00:15 Do's and dont's 1:02:48 OCD Wins of the Week1:04:13 Exposure Lab1:06:15 Goodbye! Get in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to. Disclaimer This podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.

Convinced you'll be the one person who does Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) wrong? This one's for you. Jess Hayes and Laura Mole walk through how ERP actually works — who picks the exposures, how scary they need to be, and why you genuinely cannot fail — plus what happens when therapy ends.Exposure and Response Prevention is all about exposing yourself to your OCD fears (exposure) and then making active choices in not engaging in compulsions and avoidance (response prevention) to challenge the OCD, and it is often referred to as the 'gold standard' of OCD treatment. This episode explores why it can be a helpful approach, and future episodes will discuss some alternatives. Podcast by Laura Mole, Adv. Dip, MBACP OCD specialist therapistandJessica Hayes, Msc PGDip, BABCP Accred OCD and perinatal specialist therapistandChristian Nickson, editorTime stamps:02:00 Brain spam05:20 OCD brains need to obsess07:20 Compassionate other voices 09:20 Erp as the gold standard, what is it?10:45 Amygdala, the brain, and the threat response 15:44 How erp fits into cognitive behavioural therapy18:40 Which cbt treatments are unhelpful for OCD21:45 Brody and their contamination OCD24:20 How might erp look like for Brody?26:30 What we don't do with erp27:10 Do you have to immediately do exposures?27:30 Who picks the exposures? 28:30 You are in control and what to do if you aren't ready?29:28 You can't fail your erp31:15 How scary should exposures be? How Brody tackles erp34:29 What to do to make erp work?36:00 How family and other support can help 41:10 What comes after therapy?43:00 When does erp not work? 46:34 Erp is imperfect 49:05 Questions from the listeners: Erp and medication51:20 Key takeaways for erp for OCD51:55 OCD Weekly Wins52:56 Exposure Lab feedback55:20 Exposure Lab for contamination OCD56:20 Thank you and goodbyesGet in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to. Disclaimer This podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.

Come with us, Laura Mole and Jess Hayes, as we explore the 'checking' in 'Just Checking'. You get to hear about a day in the life of Shenrique, as we talk all about how they check to make sure that they aren't a bad person, then take a lesson from vampire superstitions to break the OCD loop. As always, you also get a look into our brain spam, and get to shout out your weekly OCD wins too. Time Stamps:01:30: Dramas through our week07:00: What OCD Doris has been up to10:30: Interoceptive differences in neurodivergence and health anxiety13:15: Brain spam18:48: Our story telling about checking clients23:00: Epstein files, me too and OCD23:20: Shenrique's checking compulsions in case they are a bad person27:50: What checking actually does28:40: Shout out to Elyse Myers 30:00: The OCD cycle and what keeps it going31:25: Vampires and OCD to show what to aim for37:49: Hierarchies and values-based erp lists40:40: Do we have to do an exposure to everything on the list? 43:55: How do we help Shenrique?45:40: More tolerance, not more certainty 46:40: OCD wins of the week51:00: Questions from the listeners: OCD diagnosis53:00: Exposure lab feedback from imaginal exposure54:50: Exposure lab for checking 56:40: OCD being a big anxiety diverter58:00: Goodbyes Get in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to. Disclaimer This podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.

Join us, Laura Mole and Jessica Hayes, to really pick apart an OCD subtype that isn't talked about much. False memories and real-event OCD gets explored in this episode, you'll get to understand mental and invisible compulsions, and you even get a look into Jess' dog frustrations and Laura's big brain fails to get to know us more. We hope you have as much fun with it as we did. Time stamps:00:30 Jess talks Dobby the house elf02:30 Introduction to real-event OCD02:58 Exposure feedback from our self-care09:10 Using our support systems 10:00 Spoon theory 12:30 How we felt releasing the podcast13:50 Brain spam 19:00 Real event OCD and false memories, how it works19:50 Why memory is unreliable, despite what your OCD says24:00 Sexual shame memories 25:30 Mental compulsions and what they do26:40 Laura starts buffering 30:45 Cancel culture and real-event OCD32:40 Why is guilt there?35:00 Perfect morals and values37:00 Over-apologising and OCD39:00 Mental compulsions vs just thinking 44:20 What is pure O?44:58 Can erp work for mental compulsions? 46:20 The mental load of OCD48:10 What we aim for in therapy for OCD49:15 Dropping anchor to help with rumination53:47 OCD wins of the week55:00 Exposure lab100:00 GoodbyesDisclaimerThis podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.Get in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to. 

In this episode, we go through some of the wider factors that can make someone more susceptible to OCD, and some things that might have made previous therapy unsuccessful. Laura Mole talks through a way to build some self-compassion and Jessica Hayes shares some tips for those who are neurodivergent too. As always, we talk things through with a bit of humour and a whole lot of validation. So grab a brew, settle in, and listen to some friends get passionate about OCD. In this episode:00:40 Introduction and hello01:20 Exposure lab feedback05:30 Brain spam- our intrusive thoughts feature13:40 Jess' book for children to protect people from OCD15:55 Coping skills to tolerate exposures18:04 Laura gets lost18:35 Window of tolerance and why erp is sometimes too hard20:25 How self-care fits into OCD therapy22:32 Responsive self-care vs self-care compulsions30:00 A list for when your amygdala is driving the bus and how loved ones can help32:40 Self-esteem and how this plays into OCD35:00 Neurodivergent self-regulation and sensory needs41:20 Building self-compassion to help OCD44:20 Laura's self-compassion exercise 49:40 OCD Wins of the Week52 :00 Exposure Lab54:30 GoodbyesGet in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to. Disclaimer This podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.

Join us, Laura Mole and Jessica Hayes, as we start to challenge myths around OCD and share some tips around what help can look like. Just two friends having a chat about something we are passionate about, hopefully in a way that makes you feel heard. You can listen to Laura pranking Jess and come along for the ride while we firm up some new features, and give you some food for thought around OCD too. In this episode:00:00 Intro and Laura's prank03:26 Our training and approaches07:12 Things our d*ckead brains have said this week11:28 Resources for you12:00 Exposure feedback13:30 Therapist competencies and OCD help17:35 You have to be tidy to have OCD, right? And other myths24:35 OCD and the thousand chamber gun27:50 OCD risk assessing, trust and personality traits36:00 What if, just in case37:20 Useful questionnaires40:25 Helpful places to start challenging OCD41:00 When things can be helpful vs reinforce the OCD47:20 Exposures for the week52:00 GoodbyesGet in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to. Disclaimer This podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.

An episode where you get to know us, Jess Hayes and Laura Mole, and our wonderful guest host, Jess Marriner. Grab a coffee and listen to three friends and therapists talk all things OCD and let us share some interesting insights you might not have considered. Prepare for some swearing, tangents, and genuinely useful knowledge too. In this episode:00:00 Intro and theme03:00 Things our d*ckhead brains said this week09:30 Visualising differences in OCD15:00 Dreams in OCD, important?16:30 Manifestation and other social media trends19:10 Life as an OCD therapist23:15 OCD search for certainty 24:00 How to know if it is OCD34:30 What compulsions do we see?36:15 What we want to hear from you39:50 Taboo topics and Jess H's inappropriate surveys42:30 Exposures from us45:00 GoodbyesDisclaimerThis podcast provides educational content only and is not a substitute for professional mental health support, please contact a mental health professional for advice and support.Get in Touch:Got intrusive thoughts to share or questions for us:Email us at ocdcollectiveuk@gmail.comFollow us on Instagram: @justcheckingpodPlease check out our privacy policy https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YJZ4Sdh4OpxjRR9twGY6dOMH9n55Mq6qTqLBxOtN3Fw/edit?usp=sharing Content Warnings:We do reference some thoughts that people may find distressing so please listen with caution if this is you, and take a break if you need to.