Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

What if the part of you that you keep trying to change is actually the part of you that most needs to be understood?You can know your patterns, understand where they came from and have plenty of self-awareness, yet still find yourself repeating the same cycles. Because insight is only one part of the story. Sometimes, the deeper work is learning to listen to what lives beneath the pattern.This week, I’m joined by therapist and spiritual guide Laurie Nouchka, for a conversation about the parts of ourselves we often try to fix, silence or move beyond, and what becomes possible when we meet them with curiosity instead.Laurie shares how a painful breakup at 25 shaped her relationships for years, the unexpected path that took her from life drawing and yoga to Internal Family Systems therapy, and what she’s learnt about distinguishing intuition from fear. We talk about the wisdom held in the body, the ways our nervous system can keep us living from old stories, and what it really means to trust ourselves again.It’s a conversation about going beneath the surface, meeting the parts of ourselves we’ve spent years trying to outrun, and creating enough space to hear what they’ve been trying to tell us. Because we can’t think our way out of what we haven’t yet allowed ourselves to feel.Episode chapters:01:13 Meet Laurie and Her Daily Rituals09:12 The Photo: Smiling Through a Painful Breakup14:07 Fear of Being Alone and the “I’m Not Enough” Story19:09 From Life Drawing in Melbourne to Yoga24:58 Discovering Internal Family Systems27:32 What IFS Is and How Our Parts Protect Us33:38 Why We Run From Discomfort38:04 Creating Safety in the Nervous System42:49 Trusting Your Intuition Versus Fear47:04 Nature as a Go-To Practice49:32 A Celebration of Life and Death55:10 Laurie’s Three Non-NegotiablesConnect with Laurie through the links below:Instagram: @laurienoucka Website: www.laurienouchka.comJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming RetreatsThe Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out MoreThe Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out MoreCourage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027Email [email protected] for more informationA Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027Email [email protected] for more informationFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is Jason Dobbie, a chef of 26 years who got sober while still running professional kitchens. Sobriety, though, did not answer the question underneath it all: who am I? Eight years on, Jason leads a community of more than 750 people working through that same question, and he joins Ash to unpack what it actually took to rebuild a sense of self from the ground up.Jason and Ash talk about quitting marijuana years after quitting alcohol, the moment a spiritual awakening cracked his life wide open, and the discomfort of becoming a different person. He shares how learning to put himself first, speak his truth and trust his intuition eventually led him to walk away from a lucrative head chef job for a life built on purpose and alignment.It is a conversation about the long, often unglamorous work of self-discovery, and a reminder that sobriety is only ever the beginning of finding out who you really are.Episode chapters:00:08 Meet Jason: 26 Years a Chef, 750 People in Community01:02 Building a Community From a Meditation Group02:43 A Day in Jason’s Life Now04:13 Where His Drive Really Comes From06:02 The Photo: Successful on the Outside, Empty on the Inside08:52 Quitting Weed After 25 Years10:43 The Veil Effect of Weed and Alcohol12:07 Why He Finally Quit Drinking14:34 Free Health Care, Group Therapy and Finding Meditation18:18 A Shared Story of Spiritual Awakening20:43 Sober but Lost: Who Am I Now22:13 The Turning Point at the Mirror26:39 Learning to Put Himself First30:52 The Body Signal That Pointed Him Toward a New Career38:09 Reframing Meditation as Just Paying Attention44:26 Jason’s Three Non-NegotiablesConnect with Jason here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jason.dobbie/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jason.dobbieJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming RetreatsThe Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out MoreThe Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out MoreCourage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027Email [email protected] for more informationA Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027Email [email protected] for more informationFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode, Ash reflects on a recent trip to the Gold Coast, where she spent five nights at a wellness retreat, not as a facilitator but as a guest. Away from Wi-Fi and her usual pace of life, she unpacks five lessons that surfaced in the stillness. From remembering to trust the wisdom of her body, to rereading an old favourite book and discovering how much she herself had changed, there were plenty of downloads she wanted to share.Ash also discusses the importance of balancing mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health rather than over focusing on just one or two, and how you can achieve this without creating more overwhelm. This is a reflective, practical episode about what it looks like to actually slow down, listen inward, and trust the shifts that quietly ask to be made.Episode chapters:00:00 Retreat Announcement01:13 Coming Back From Eden Retreat03:38 A Life of Bookends: Regulated Mornings, Full Steam Days08:18 Choosing Your Own Adventure at Eden10:39 Trusting the Body Over the Aura Ring15:09 The Nervous System Check and the 99th Percentile Surprise17:23 Hearing the Whisper to Step Back From Teaching21:59 Saying Yes and Watching Life Respond24:12 Rereading The Untethered Soul Years Later28:53 Releasing a Resentment Through Energy, Not Defense31:10 The Joy of Talking to Strangers33:32 The Four Pillars of Health43:01 A New Offering Coming in JanuaryJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming RetreatsThe Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out MoreThe Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out MoreCourage To Heal: Childhood Trauma Retreat | June 14 - 21, 2027Email [email protected] for more informationA Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027Email [email protected] for more informationFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Ash sits down with Dave McGrath, a 47 year old carpenter and father who recently celebrated three years of sobriety. For a period of about nine months before rehab, Dave was living out of his car, seeing his daughter once every month or two, and losing himself completely to what he calls the alcoholic insanity. His rock bottom came in a friend's garage, staring at an extension ladder and a rope, before something in him snapped awake enough to call a rehab.In this raw and honest conversation, Dave takes Ash through the chaos of early sobriety attempts that did not stick, the shame of losing contact with his family and his daughter, and the strangers along the way who quietly helped him find his footing, including a chance encounter on a footpath that led him to treatment. He also opens up about an unexpected and profound spiritual awakening in a church that changed the course of his recovery, and what it has taken to rebuild trust with the people he hurt along the way. This is a story about hope, redemption and never giving up. Episode chapters:00:00 Introducing Dave McGrath03:21 The Photo: A Visitation Day With His Daughter04:16 The Unmanageability of Alcoholic Insanity05:55 The First Drink as a Child09:30 Hating Who He Saw in the Mirror10:41 The Craving He Could Never Control15:14 Failed Attempts and Dry Spells18:52 Cold Water Plunges at 2am19:33 Rock Bottom: The Rope in the Garage21:31 A Stranger on the Street Who Showed Him the Way23:21 A Daughter Waiting at the Window26:03 From Dry Drunk to Actually Working the Program44:51 A Spiritual Awakening at Church47:57 Daily Conscious Contact and Letting Go of Rage50:21 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic LifeJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming RetreatsThe Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out MoreThe Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out MoreA Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027 Email [email protected] for more informationFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest this week is Megan Ashton, founder of Unity Breathwork and a leading voice for raising safety standards in the breathwork industry. Megan spent most of her adult life escaping herself, first through alcohol and bulimia as a teenager, then later through constant travel that let her outrun her feelings entirely. It took a devastating breakup, and a breathwork session in Bali, for her to finally crack open decades of unprocessed grief, so that she could start the long journey of finding a way back to herself.In this conversation, Megan and Ash unpack what conscious connected breathwork actually is, why it so often brings up trauma the body has been holding for years, and what it means to build a practice around genuine safety rather than chasing catharsis. Megan speaks candidly about the childhood wounds that shaped her patterns of numbing, the importance of proper preparation and integration when facilitating breathwork, and her mission to make this kind of healing as accessible and understood as yoga. This conversation invites you to think about acknowledging the feelings you’ve spent a lifetime avoiding.Episode chapters:00:00 Introducing Megan Ashton05:24 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile in Nicaragua07:32 Travel as an Escape Strategy09:33 A Sensitive Childhood and the First Time She Numbed Out11:17 The Slow Slide Into Bulimia12:59 The Breakup That Broke Everything Open19:57 Trying Everything Before Breathwork20:27 The Bali Session That Changed Her Life22:17 Discovering Her Mission in Conscious Connected Breathwork24:07 What Conscious Connected Breathwork Actually Is27:08 A Year of Crying: What Processing Really Looks Like28:07 Letting Go of Expectations in the Practice00:18 Why Safety in Breathwork Matters So Much02:28 The Risk of Retraumatisation Without Proper Preparation04:33 Grounding and Integration After a Session18:11 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic LifeConnect with Megan through the links below:Website: (https://unitybreathwork.com/)Breathwork Facilitator Training page: (https://unitybreathwork.com/breathwork-facilitator-training/)Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/unitybreathwork/)Retreats:(https://unitybreathwork.com/breathwork-retreat/)Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming RetreatsThe Embodied Woman One Day Retreat | October 25th | Find Out MoreThe Embodied Woman 5 Day Retreat | April 21 - 25, 2027 | Find Out MoreA Sacred Return | Bali | August 16 - 20, 2027Email [email protected] for more information.Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.