How To Have Sex

Talking about oral sex makes Jay-Jay wildly uncomfortable… which is exactly why this episode had to happen.In this lesson of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get very practical about what makes oral sex actually feel good for everyone. This is not about porn moves, performance, or trying to “get it right.” It’s about confidence, communication, anatomy, connection, and learning how to give pleasure in a way that feels good for you too.Melissa breaks down what “world-class head” really means, why so many people feel pressure around oral sex, and the biggest lies porn has taught us about blowjobs and going down on women. The episode covers hand techniques, oral techniques, sore jaw and lockjaw hacks, how to ask for what you want without dying inside, and why slowing down is often the fastest path to better sex.You’ll also hear:why oral sex feels so vulnerablehow to stop focusing on performanceblowjob tips and hand techniquesoral sex tips for pleasuring a vulvawhy anatomy creates confidencehow to communicate during sex without killing the moodthe importance of rhythm, teasing and anticipationwhy pleasure should be about connection, not pressureAnd of course, Melissa gives Jay-Jay, and you, a new Pleasure Practice for the week: how to give head in a way that feels good for you as well. Next episode: How to Dirty Talk (Without Dying of Embarrassment). This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz/ Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@hths_podcast YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine. Pick up the latest issue to read it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to How To Have Sex ... the podcast giving everyday New Zealanders the practical tools to have better, more confident, more satisfying sex lives.Before we get into the good stuff, we're starting where all great sex starts: foreplay. This episode is your introduction to hosts Jay-Jay Feeney - veteran NZ broadcaster, podcaster, and self-confessed awkward sex-talker, and Melissa Vranjes, certified holistic sex and relationship coach, somatic therapist, and founder of Sex School.We get into bed (literally), share how this podcast came to be, and start pulling back the covers on everything from the orgasm gap and sexual confidence, to why most of us learned about sex from porn, and why that's a problem.No shame. No judgment. Just two women in bed having the conversations everyone's secretly Googling.For adults 18+. Headphones recommended.🎙️ Follow, subscribe, and leave us a review. It helps more people find us!This podcast was produced at PodLab Studios, Auckland https://www.podlab.co.nz/Bedding by Dehei https://dehei.co/ Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastTIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@how.to.have.sex.pYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.comHOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.Pick up the latest issue to read it. We launched our podcast on 25 March 2026 and had a party to celebrate.We would like to thank our incredible Day One supporters who kindly donated toward our party, and goodie bags.Mad Dog Backdrops                               https://maddogbackdrops.co.nz/Carmen Bird Photography                  https://www.carmenbirdphotography.co.nz/Oh Cleoh Condoms                                 https://www.ohcleoh.com/Rumer Lube                                               https://byrumer.co.nz/Girls Get Off                                               https://girlsgetoff.com/Moodi Hormone Gummies                   https://www.moodiblends.com/Cursive Craft                                               https://cursivecraft.co.nz/Eve Wellness                                              https://evewellness.com/XO Gifts                                                      https://xogifts.co.nz/Framingham Wines                                  https://framingham.co.nz/Zeffer Cider & Alcoholic drinks         https://zeffer.co.nz/Woman’s Day Magazine                         https://www.nowtolove.co.nz/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What actually separates good sex from great sex? Spoiler: it's not the positions, the toys, or the techniques.In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real foundations of hot sex, and it turns out most of us have been thinking about it completely wrong. Mel introduces her erotic mind mapping method, breaks down the three types of desire (and why most women experience desire very differently to men), and explains why safety, connection, and communication are the actual ingredients for the best sex of your life.Plus: JJ gets her first Pleasure Practice assignment live on air, and it gets surprisingly vulnerable.This is sex education for real humans in real relationships. No pressure. No porn scripts. Just honest conversation.For adults 18+. Headphones recommended.🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one!This podcast was produced at PodLab Studios, Auckland https://www.podlab.co.nz/Bedding by Dehei https://dehei.co/Mel's Sex Menu: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ELEGkI8NyWl2EAA9tYjlZ2oHs-q8ryns/view Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastTIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@how.to.have.sex.pYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastEMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.comHOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeneyMelissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.Pick up the latest issue to read it. We launched our podcast on 25 March 2026 and had a party to celebrate.We would like to thank our incredible Day One supporters who kindly donated toward our party, and goodie bags.Mad Dog Backdrops                        https://maddogbackdrops.co.nz/Carmen Bird Photography              https://www.carmenbirdphotography.co.nz/Oh Cleoh Condoms                        https://www.ohcleoh.com/Rumer Lube                                    https://byrumer.co.nz/Girls Get Off                                    https://girlsgetoff.com/Moodi Hormone Gummies              https://www.moodiblends.com/Cursive Craft                                    https://cursivecraft.co.nz/Eve Wellness                                   https://evewellness.com/XO Gifts                                           https://xogifts.co.nz/Framingham Wines                          https://framingham.co.nz/Zeffer Cider & Alcoholic drinks         https://zeffer.co.nz/Woman’s Day Magazine                  https://www.nowtolove.co.nz/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One’s a sex coach. The other one’s awkward.Both are getting into bed to talk about it.How to Have Sex is hosted by Jay-Jay Feeney — one of New Zealand’s most recognisable voices — and Melissa Vranjes, a holistic sex & relationship coach and somatic therapist.Jay-Jay has the questions you’re too shy to ask.Melissa has the answers (and the experience).From world-class head to low libido, orgasms to pregnancy sex, this podcast breaks down shame, stigma, and bedroom confusion — with humour, honesty, and zero judgement.If you’ve ever thought:“Am I normal?”“Why don’t I feel horny?”“How do I ask for what I want?”You’re in the right bed.Launching 25 March.____________________________________________________INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcastTIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@how.to.have.sex.pYOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@HowtohavesexpodcastFACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcastEMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes www.melissavranjes.com Instagram/TikTok: @melissavranjes Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.vranjes.5 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.